Monday, March 19, 2012

Jessica Simpson Has Baby Shower - No One Brought Soap


So, how did the term shower come up for these baby showers and wedding showers? As a multiple married individual, my now ex-wives pretty much all had a wedding shower. One exception was one bride who had been married three times previously. Apparently there is a written rule that any wedding after #2 results in now shower. You can get sprayed with a fire hose and called idiot for marrying someone who is getting married for the 5th time, but there is no actual shower. The Vegas wedding also did not have a wedding shower although she did have one heck of a divorce shower a few weeks after the wedding.


Jessica Simpson had her baby shower this weekend and was surrounded by friends and family as she sported a blue snakeskin dress. I have never seen a blue snaked in the wild, but I am sure they are fabulous and enjoyed being worn by Jessica.

52 comments:

  1. She's beginning to resemble a blimp...

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  2. Oh my God, she looks so miserable in that pic. I actually feel kinda bad for her.

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  3. One of the blind spots say she's been stuffing food into her mouth at an alarming rate.
    Already has her C-Section booked as well as major plastic surgery ...breast reduction, tummy tuck....all so she can show her new body for that 3 million $$$$ contract she signed....

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  5. I would imagine the term comes from the fact that the bride/mom-to-be is "showered" with gifts.

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  6. Is that Captain Picard on the left?

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  7. Anonymous7:25 AM

    Exactly what Couriergrrrrl said. The new mom/bride is showered with gifts. There is no shower for your second wedding, nor for your second kid because technically, you already have everything.

    Oh my God, is there a picture of that snakeskin dress? I bet it's horrific.

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  8. I had a shower for my second child, but it *was* 8 years later, so I didn't have any baby stuff left, lol.

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  9. Im sorry I have to agree with Enty shes quite big. Ive had two babies and gained 65lbs my 1st pregnancy and Jessica still has me beat. I totally believe she gained more weight so the weight loss could be dramatic. She must just be absolutely miserable. I also had a csection and idk how she can even think about havin surgery again after.. its pretty painful while ur healing.

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  10. She is huge. Know some of you don't agree, but - yikes! And she still has a month to go?!

    Sort of feel sorry for her, too. She can't be comfortable.

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  11. Poor thing she's massive!!

    2 things -

    One, others have commented that Jess is short-waisted which can contribute to her looking bigger, I don't know.

    Two, lots of asshole celebrities & rich people schedule their C-section at 8 months to avoid the misery of the 9th month as many babies are reasonably okay at 8 months. I commend her for sticking it out through 9 months for the health of the baby (if that's the reason).

    Vaginal birth terrifies me, so I'm not judging on any C-section scheduling.

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  12. Anonymous7:47 AM

    @Reno, I was going to include the age gap (but didn't). I threw a shower for my sister-in-law's second because there was a 13 year gap between the first and second.

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  13. MISCH said...
    She's beginning to resemble a blimp...


    She's starting to resemble Ceelo.

    Surprised she's not wearing 6 inch wellies.

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  14. I do feel sorry for her, I think I know exactly how she feels and it's miserable. If she goes full term, you probably wont see more of her after a weeks time, time wont have meaning anymore until the birth,
    I wish them all the best.

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  15. I might feel badly for her if she didn't indulge every buttered poptart craving. I think she wants to have a "miraculous" weightloss after, and wants to make it all as dramatic as possible.
    I think it will be very ironic if Candi is right and she is not able to get her mommy makeover after the C section and looks like a regular extremely overweight mom that did not take care of herself during pregnancy.

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  16. I might feel badly for her if she didn't indulge every buttered poptart craving. I think she wants to have a "miraculous" weightloss after, and wants to make it all as dramatic as possible.
    I think it will be very ironic if Candi is right and she is not able to get her mommy makeover after the C section and looks like a regular extremely overweight mom that did not take care of herself during pregnancy.

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  17. Seriously, I am due around the same time and I look so small compared to her. I have only gained 15 pounds and have a little less than 4 weeks to go.

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  18. A little self-control with bad foods is still necessary while pg.Losing weight is tough,you are already emotionally spent with a new baby.

    Lucky Jess who can afford all the surgeries to get her bod back. For the average person it is a long,often emotional nightmare trying to get pre-pg body back after unnecessary amounts of gain.

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  19. Poor Jessica. She looks so uncomfortable. Now Jessica is really preggers...and you'd never question it, unlike Beyonce or Nicole Kidman.

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  20. I don't know but that much weight on a small girl has to be brutal, I don't know how she's going to cut down on food while she's breast feeding....
    Personally I think she's been very unkind to her body.
    There's a limit to how much fat can be removed with Lipo and surgery ...and then there's the wedding...
    Once she marries him his true colors come out...
    Poor Jessica...
    There is always the stomach stapling thing....
    My neighbor had a baby last July and is still struggling and she's married to a trainer....

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  21. I definitely had my fair share of ice cream while preggers, but dayum this girl must be eating everything in sight. I actually feel nauseous looking at her (memories of being in the third trimester, I guess.) I don't know, I craved a ton of fruit - I ate strawberries, peaches and blueberries like nobody's bizness. And I also loved me some hummus, Mexican and Indian. And spinach ravioli. Those were my faves. I gained 30 lbs. I don't understand why some women feel they should eat all of this junk while prego. Yuckies.

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  22. My body hurts looking at her. My feet are literally swelling in sympathy.

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  23. Poor Jessica...BLAH!

    Being pregnant is not a free pass to eat anything in sight. You should eat smarter, not just more of whatever. Given the bloat on the rest of her body, especially face, I'd say she's eating as much bad as good.

    I gained 40 pounds with twins and had a 7 pounder and 6 pounder. For the second pregnancy, I gained 30 pounds and had a 9 pounder. I know everyone is different, but you don't have to gain a ton of weight to have a healthy child.

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  24. Anonymous10:42 AM

    I feel so bad for her -- she looks so completely uncomfortable and miserable. Even my brother, who normally never notices stuff like this, saw a photo of her while she was on the Ellen show and was all, "Dayum!"

    Pregnancy isn't a license to eat anything you want, though, and Jessica should have thought about that beforehand. Every pound you gain over about 12 or 15 is a pound you're still going to have after having the baby.

    Re: showers, I think if you have a large age gap between kids and/or are having a different sex than the first child, showers are perfectly OK. I gave a shower for a friend of mine who was having another girl six years after her first one. They had thought they would only have the one kid and then changed their mind. No big deal. I think a small wedding shower, nothing OTT, for a second wedding is OK, but anything after/bigger than that is just greedy.

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  25. My cousin, who is 5'1", just had TRIPLETS, and she was smaller than Jessica. Poor thing--I am pregnancy-averse. Ain't never gonna happen, no way no how. And Jessica is my new poster child for why! But as someone pointed out, you don't doubt she's preggo, unlike Beyonce!

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  26. wasn't there a blind about an celebrity who gained SO MUCH WEIGHT during her pregnancy because she had already inked a deal with one of the weight loss companies ... and we will be "amazed" at the loss of weight? i would guess that she is the one.

    she does look miserable.

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  27. I have never been preggo but I have heard from friends who said they did actually eat their way through their first baby. Let's face it, she's only 30 or so and the weight will be easier to lose than if she were older and she'll have tons of help so she can exercise. I would think a vaginal birth wiould be preferred to a C section as that takes 6 weeks to heal. But for now she looks supremely uncomfortable!

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  28. I still have a hard time believing there's just ONE baby in there. She has to be beyond miserable.

    And in related news, here's a pic of her in that snakeskin dress: http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/goddess/jessica-simpson-baby-shower-details-165104995.html

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  29. Oh my, poor girl looks like she is in complete agony. You know she is feeling the pain when she forgoes the 3 inch platforms.

    I really want to like you, Jessica, so please do something to help me like you! At least, be a good mom.

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  30. She is HUGE!!!! I can't believe she's having ONE baby! And she's been pregnant forever!!!

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  31. Anonymous12:58 PM

    Boriqua beat me to it, I just saw the dress and came over here to make fun of it. It is the ugliest thing I've ever seen in my life. It's not a question of taste, it's hideous. And she's paid to judge a fashion show.

    I've hyperlinked the link to make it easier for those too lazy to copy and paste: Picture of JS's ugly dress

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  32. Playing Devil's Advocate here, maybe she isn't eating a lot of the bad foods. She may just be someone who gains weight easily whenever the body has a hormonal change. I am eating better since my hysterectomy, and still put weight on. I am one of those people. I am glad she is putting her baby first and not her figure. I still don't know how Posh fell pregnant.

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  33. I can't believe she is having one kid! She is just too big for eight months. I had twins and wasn't that big!

    Even if she is planning a c-section, she should not be eating everything in sight. She has a higher chance of high blood pressure and diabetes. Doctors always warn about excessive weight while pregnant. Who the hell is her doctor?

    If she keeps this up, this could be her first and last kid.

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  34. I only gained 20 pounds with my son but i do feel wrong for critizing a woman for her weight gain during pregnancy.

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  35. I don't feel sorry for her. It's her choice to eat like that and gain that much weight and if she's miserable, so be it.

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  36. Ya get what you ask for.

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  37. @feraltart
    She's admitted she of overindulging in interviews though.

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  38. Celebrities will announce the due date as weeks later than it actually is, to avoid paps staking out their home/hospital. If she has a small pelvic basin, the C-section may be medically necessary (that's what happened to my mom.) Good luck, Jess. *Wow*, she looks miserable. Poor girl. Oddly, I don't grudge her any plastic surgery she feels she might need, altho that sounds like quite a risk (major blood loss) on top of a C-section (major abdominal surgery.) Plus the recovery time and discomfort. It's her job to look a certain way, and she's got a kid and the boyfriend to support. And don't forget Pimpa Joe!

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  39. I was always very careful about what I ate but when I was pregnant I gave myself free reign. I think Jess did the same. Shes always in the lime light and starved herself for a lot of years. She has ballooned. Its gonna be tough to lose even with surgery and personal trainers.

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  40. She looks like she will be so relieved when she gives birth. I hope she doesn't become one of these "I lost all my baby weight in six weeks" women, because that's probably not natural. And I hope, only for her own sanity, that she eventually manages to lose most of the weight, because otherwise she will be publicly mocked for decades.

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  41. Bigger than a barn...how do we know she's not smuggling any "undocumented aliens" from Mexico?

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  42. Like @Southernbelle, I've also gained minimal weight. I've been told I look like I'm smuggling a balloon under my dress, and that I'm just baby.
    I think women who over indulge and "eat for two" forget that one of you is merely a few pounds. You only need to add 250-500 extra calories per day. This isn't to say that I haven't indulged the occasional crazy craving, I've been coocoo for 7-eleven root beer (or Dr Pepper) slushies since about the 6 month mark, but I don't give in all day every day!

    ... Then again, I'm realistic & remind myself that after this wee Peanut arrives, I'm not going to be catered to by private chefs, trainers, nannies, maids, plastic surgeons...
    Oh, and I just had a shower for my wee one, but her big sister is 10, and we really hadn't planned on our new little surprise, so we're starting entirely from scratch!

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  44. I am quite petite at 5'1" and weighed just a little over 100 when I got pregnant with my son. I gained about 45 lbs. I was not eating tons and tons of unhealthy food (I really would've had nowhere to put it), was quite swollen in the legs and ended up having a large baby for my size at 8 lbs 6 oz. I did drop most of the weight quickly, luckily.

    I have plenty of petite and average sized friends who have gained 50+ lbs and who have been fairly careful about their eating habits during pregnancy. Obviously, I cannot say if Jessica is stuffing her face but I think some people do just have the propensity to gain a lot of weight during pregnancy.

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  45. Wow, that is a really big pregnant woman. By her due date, she'll be verging on OctoMom territory when it comes to size.

    Does anyone else wonder whether she knows she's got more than one baby in there and is keeping the news secret to get more press when she delivers? 'Cause otherwise, she's giving birth to Baby Huey.

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  46. Well...if she needs any motivation to lose weight after she gives birth, she can just read the comments on this post for inspiration. ;-P

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  47. She and I are due around the same time, I think. I am starting to feel pretty miserable, so I would suspect she is too. Why she is trying to stuff herself into these crazy outfits and 6 inch heels though is beyond me. If I wear even a 2-3 inch heel right now my back feels like it's going to explode for the next day. Not to mention the fact that very pregnant women aren't exactly graceful - what if she fell?

    And yes, she looks quite large. I had to work hard not to gain a bunch of weight. Unlike her, most of us have to work it off afterward and don't have an entire team to help get us back into shape though...

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  48. Snooki's in her first trimester and looks like that. In the dress picture, her face looks angelic.. the dress... not so much.

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  49. If she does indeed breastfeed, and eats a reasonable diet (read: no buttered Poptarts--and who the hell butters Poptarts anyway?!?), she may be able to loose a surprising amount of weight. A friend of mine started out her pregnancy as a plus-size woman, but after nursing for 2 years (there were autoimmune issues in the family, & apparently extended nursing helps w/this), she ended up much smaller than she started out. Also, she could be retaining a fair amount of water as well--my mother did w/me, and swears all she did for several days after I was born was pee and pee and pee! I do wonder about that, since her face is so puffy--she's definitely gained weight, but I don't know that she's gained enough to puff up her face like that.

    Wishing her a good delivery, a healthy baby, and being much more comfortable when this is all over...

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  50. ^Ok, that should be "lose" weight...damn it.

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  51. anita_mark the title of the hyper link made my whole freaking day!

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  52. My lord, that poor woman. That is not normal. To echo the comments above, I'm 5'1 and a yoga teacher, and still gained 55 lbs during pregnancy without pigging out. I looked hefty but wow, this is far beyond that.

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