Another Dating Site Catch!

As everyone who reads the site knows, one of my greatest pleasures is reading e-mails and profiles of guys from dating sites. A long time reader found this one on okcupid and just had to share. I don't want to say what reader because the guy contacted her. Don't want to give him any encouragement. Here it is. 

This is a very detailed write up.. FOR A REASON!! Read it ALL BEFORE
writing to me.. ;)

I only see submissive women and you don't need to write to me if
you're offended. I understand that many women in the states believe
that submission is a terrible thing. Some of the toughest best
educated, beautiful, accomplished and desirable females in the world
enjoy being submissive. It doesn't mean that I am abusive, a bad
person, etc. I am a leader and NOT a dictator. A leader cares more for
his people for himself while a dictator rapes and pillages everyone to
death. Further, I have often yielded to a female when I've been wrong.

If you appreciate a good spanking (discipline and/or erotic) and
you're tired of sleazy abusive morons who joke about bodily functions
while playing video games all day long and saying all kinds of stupid
**** that makes you cringe at the utter idiocy of it.. I am a breath
of fresh air for you. I don't use stupid lines, chase women, or try to
say "what they want to hear".

Real women appreciate my honesty and lack of bull****. A complete lack
of bull**** is so rare of a quality in a male that you'd have better
odds of winning a lottery than you would finding one of me. Not only
that but a man who is naturally dominant and yet a caring sweetheart
is just as rare.

I'm exceedingly talented when it comes (no pun intended :) to making
women comfortable. Most women love the fact that I can make them smile
and *** and relax. I solve problems and I'm a positive influence
everywhere I go. Many people I've known have have better lives today,
because of me. I'm a wonderful genuine honest person who won't put up
with any of your ****.

I am not one to lead anyone on and so please understand that I am not
looking for love right now. I've only been "in love" three times. It's
a sacred thing to a man like myself and you really would have to prove
the h*ll out of your intentions before I'd so much as consider it.

NO: Games, silly ****, trouble makers, drug addicts, men, non single
women, crazy women, etc. If you want to meet me you need to be a
submissive intelligent woman who is single and none of the
aforementioned things. The **** some women try to get away with won't
work with me as I've seen and done it ALL. - GOLD DIGGERS- PUT YOUR
PITCHFORKS AWAY because I'm not some square who buys things for women.

When I said I was free of bull**** I meant it and so here are my faults:

I'm short (5'5"). I have small arms. (Not alien small or anything- I
just ain't muscle bound). I don't make a lot of money. (I'm capable. I
just don't care right now.)I'm not in great shape right now. The last
few years have been long. I can be somewhat boring because I don't go
"clubbing" or any of that silly ****. I left school when I was twelve
(not really a fault and I was far ahead of the normal children) I have
a very short level of tolerance for stupid ****. I don't know who
almost any celebrity is and haven't seen most movies (fault?).

Good things you could have(not all are required):

Intelligence - A sweet face - Be from the east or west coast or the
south - *Be good at and ENJOY giving b******s, able to sw***ow - Big
butt (it can NOT - EVER - be too big) - A bubble butt (ain't huge and
is very round) - Accents - they murder me - I love most of them -
Being Italian or Asian wouldn't hurt AT ALL - Well made breasts - *Be
OPEN - I can't stand liars or hiding things - *Be free of guilt based
on man made religion - Knowing how to cook .. nothing like a home
cooked meal - Well made nipples - Be free of excessive baggage - for
the love of God!! - *Don't be a thief - Being BI wouldn't hurt AT ALL
- Have long hair

*=Required

There's no guarantee that I will decide to see ANYONE in the Wichita
area. I'm just curious to see if there are any women who don't do
drugs or break balls or talk like they're still in preschool or ****
five men every week.. you know? I'm NOT from here, I just live here.

I LIVE IN WICHITA- BUT ONLY BECAUSE I HAVE TO. I'm open to a some
travel, maybe a mini vacation here and there. I don't want to MOVE
anywhere because my little grandmother lives an hour away from where I
am. She means the world to me, and I won't MOVE until she's dead.


What I'm doing with my life:
I'm in the middle of nowhere.. mostly avoiding the locals and watching
television..
.
I'm really good at:
Playing poker, eating like a rabid wolf, spanking women and making
them smile, solving problems, etc.
.
The first things people usually notice about me:
I'm handsome as hell, short, I look italian, I'm exceedingly direct
and open, I am not an idiot, I have a refreshingly bullshit free way
of looking at things.


.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food:
In order. The king of torts, the blues brothers, taxi, blues, steak.

.
The six things I could never do without:
Cadillacs, blowjobs, my sister, food.

.
I spend a lot of time thinking about:
Cars, guns, food, naked women, politics, business, travel

On a typical Friday night I am:
Watching programs at home or sitting at the coffee house playing Words
With Friends.

.
The most private thing I'm willing to admit:
I don't make a lot of money.. I can, but I don't.

I'm looking for:
Girls who like guys
Ages 21-99
Near me
Who are single
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity
partners, casual sex

You should message me if
If you're not a scandalous whore, a feminist or an idiot. Basic
guidelines if you ever want to get anywhere with me is you don't cause
problems, you're not a trouble maker, you like being spanked and/or
need it and you truly really enjoy giving head. Intelligence and being
foxy helps too ;)

Now ladies, don't all line up at once for this winner. Thanks Ellen!