When I saw this Porsche in the cement because the guy thought he would drive through the construction signs, I thought to myself if I had done anything more stupid. Getting married after 3 hours to someone is at the top of my list. I too have gone through construction barriers, but it was night and no lights anywhere and did not see them. It could have been much worse. What is the dumbest thing you remember doing?
My major gaffes seem to be car related. Last year I hit two parked cars on separate occasions. I can't explain the idiocy or impatience that led to those situations.
ReplyDeleteI could also mention a few boyfriends but I'm trying to be more forgiving of my younger self and the dudes I was attracted to.
Oh crap - I forgot that I also rear-ended a car that was at a yield sign in front of me last year. 25 years of driving experience and my only accidents occur within a year of each other. My husband was pissed and I am working real hard at being more attentive.
ReplyDeleteWhat--do you mean just this WEEK, or...?
ReplyDeleteDrove through a Dale's Jr. store front in the 80's. Northridge, CA. Only, I was in the passenger seat. Turned the key on to honk the horn and the VW was in gear. Stooooooooopid!
ReplyDeleteProbably locking my keys in the car while going in to drop off a video. Oh yeah, the engine was still running. 25 years later, my old man still rides me on this one.
ReplyDeleteI can't think of anything yet, but I just wanted to say that there is nothing more satisfying than seeing an entitled asshole jack up his car.
ReplyDeleteIt's a family day miracle!
I was making a left hand turn out of a gas station one time and decided to floor it to get out before on-coming traffic blocked the intersection. Once I pulled out a way though I realized it was a divided intersection and I was facing the wrong way.
ReplyDeleteLuckily it was at an intersection so no one was driving to fast and everyone managed to get stopped in time and I was able to turn around and get going the right way.
But yeah, that way my most boneheaded traffic move.
Thinking that I could safely navigate a mountain road during a freak snowstorm was pretty stupid. I will NEVER drive in bad weather ever again. Totaling a car sucks. A lot.
ReplyDeleteAlso dumb? Letting a stylist give me The Rachel back in '95.
Locked in my keys with the car running in a snow storm.
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ReplyDeleteA friend of mine went the wrong way down Adelaide St (it's a one way street) while I sat in the passenger seat yelling at her to turn anywhere! and thinking I was going to die.
ReplyDeleteDoes that count?
Driving while intoxicated as a teen. Sooooooo dumb!
ReplyDeleteI don't know Sue Ellen but I LOVE your name!
ReplyDeleteOn a Saturday night a friend and I were driving down Ventura Blvd. and I saw George Clooney outside a restaurant and told her, she pulled a u-turn in the middle of the street. I turned grey that night. The stupidest thing I ever done was stay with my organization after being offered a better job with a higher salary. My boss decided to take early retirement and a new guy was hired. The new guy is a crazy jerk, he screams at staff, and treats me like s##t. Sadly the economy is tight and I have to pay the mortgage.
ReplyDeleteSpeeding trying to leave my boyfriends house when I was 17. I went too fast around a curve and slammed into a tree
ReplyDeleteOh and letting my dad drive my mustang up pikes peak. Omg!
Locking my infant in the car.
ReplyDeleteOh, and turning down a chance to sing lead with a band that was "owned" by an owner of a music magazine.
@Crystal Jones
ReplyDeleteThanks. I love Seinfeld, but I thought Elaine Benes would be too obvious.
I have done and said so many stupid things in my life that this thread itself kind of makes me panic...*L*
ReplyDeleteSo I've decided to keep it car related.
Just a few days ago, I was trying to get out of the parking space at my old condo, and I didn't have a wide enough turning space - and I KNEW this, but decided to give it a go anyway. I managed to wedge my car in between the corner of a brick building and the cement wall on the other side of the driveway. Like, stuck. The only way to get myself out of it (after swearing loudly and profusely) was to put the car in reverse, turn the wheels all the way to the right, and step on the gas, hoping I would be able to brake before backing into another vehicle that was parked there. I did brake in time and I managed to get myself out of there, but I was pretty sweaty by the time I rolled out on the street. Car has a nice big scratch on the side, but it wasn't exactly a nice car to begin with *L*.
Mine's not dumb but quirky bad luck. The headlight on my car went out, I was younger and didn't have much money but I used the last of it to buy a replacement halogen headlight because it was raining. I drove from the gas station, promptly hydroplaned and rear-ended the car in front of me. The only thing that was damaged on either car was the headlight I had just purchased ten minutes before. Some sort of karmic practical joke I guess. :)
ReplyDeleteChasing my boyfriend one town over while having an argument (on foot) wearing only a white cotton nightgown.
ReplyDeleteThen I had to walk home wearing only a white cotton nightgown.
ida blankenship, when do you start your new imaginary, dream job? hope you remember to keep your pills in reach at all times. you can't afford "ANOTHER" setback. or maybe you have started your new dream job?. they just let you stay on the internet all day?
ReplyDeleteI had parked my car in the driveway, put it in park to get the mail, as I came back around I saw my car slowly rolling backward. There was a twenty foot drop into the woods behind my car and I did not want my new car to go over the edge.
ReplyDeleteI opened the door and tried to jump into the backward rolling car. DO NOT TRY THIS!
I was on the ground with my right foot on the inside of the drivers door,about six inches in. My grab had turned the wheel so that now I was being literally shoved along in soft dirt parallel to the drop off, must have gone thirty yards or so, I was afraid I was going to get run over by the front tire.
I kicked the door , dropped my leg and my head as far back as I could and the door passed over me.
My car is still rolling slowly down a slight grade, when it came to the bottom it rolled into the street, then slowly rolled forward toward the same f**king drop off.
I was already running after the car. AND you CAN jump into a car going forward. Got it stopped. I left it there walked back to the driveway and just sat there until my legs would hold me up again.
It was fully insured I just reacted, no thinking involved. Epic stupid.
You guys/gals crack me up and make me smile. I couldn't begin to list all of mine...they'd have to build a new Internet just for my top 50 dumbest things, never mind the ones I don't even recall doing!
ReplyDeleteI do dumb stuff all day, every day. I was never super bright to begin with but having 4 kids has made me even dumber. I'm lucky I'm still alive.
ReplyDelete@Sue Ellen - if that was Adelaide St in Toronto,that would be scary. It's a busy road.
ReplyDelete@chopchop - I hear ya, some days it is a miracle I can even find my car keys
ReplyDeleteWhere should I start? OK, 2 that come to mind right away:
ReplyDelete(1) Trying to set a Kotex tampon on fire to use as a torch for some late-night exploring in the woods w/a bunch of my high school friends at the age of 17, because I'd read in Ms. magazine about some big feminist gathering using a tampon as the wick for a torch--as a result, my nickname for my entire senior year of high school was "Torch." (BTW, tampons don't catch fire very well, or at least they didn't in 1978. Not even the string, damn it...)
(2) Deciding that I just HAD to be in the front row of the mosh pit at a Nine Inch Nails show in Montreal in November of 2005, and convincing my good friend Dante to do it w/me. Keep in mind that NIN pits are, ahem, lively, what w/crowdsurfers, frat boys trying to kick as much ass as possible, and girls trying to show Trent Reznor their tits, or at least to manage some significant eye contact with him. Now picture yours truly--short, fat, asthmatic, claustrophobic, 40-something me hanging on to the rail for dear life while kids are being passed over my head, roadies are running around w/bigass bottles of water pouring it into everyone's mouths like Mama Bird feeding all the baby birds, and 16-year-old Quebecois farm boys are digging their elbows into my shoulders so they can climb over me and get that much closer to Trent--crimony, guys, I'm 5'3"! I'm not THAT hard to see over! Oh, yeah...Dante nearly passed out and had to be pulled bodily out of the pit, but I stuck it out, through sheer stubborness as much as anything, just to have the fangirl cred of being able to say that I by God survived a NIN moshpit without passing out or breaking anything (although Dante & I both caught horrible colds from the experience), even if I did have very nasty bruises along the underside of my upper arms and underneath my rack from hanging on to the rail for dear life. Woohoo! I rock! (OK, I'm also a friggin' idiot, but hey, I still got a hell of a story out of it...)
@medz, why do you have to be mean to Ida (re pills) when your name is medz?
ReplyDeletegetting married when I knew it wouldn't last, living in a city where all the good jobs require bilingualism, taking a fun but low paying job and actually believing the BS the hiring manager told me about bonuses.
ReplyDelete@Casey
ReplyDeleteIt was in Toronto. The plus was that it was 2 in the morning on a Sunday, so there was very little traffic, but still. NOT.GOOD.
@Crystal -- LOL. I've got no worries. The trolls do exist around here, but they're scarce -- and obviously pretty stupid. Thanks, though. :-)
ReplyDelete@''medz,'' you were ''Rozalyn B'' the last time around, if I recall. Grow a pair of balls/ovaries and just insult me with your real user name. I've got a pretty good idea who you really are, anyway.
Yer welcome sistah. I'm not in the comment section that often but why be HATEY to each other? What's the point in that?
ReplyDeleteHard to name just one! I used to call myself the shit magnet. Left a teapot on one a flat top stove too long and it stuck...so part of the glass came with it when I pulled it up. The replacement glass was almost as much as a new stove.
ReplyDelete