It turns out that Hollywood is not the only place you need beards. Sports also has a need for beards. What happens when you combine the two? You get an NFL player who wants to meet gay actors so "dates" a B list actress. Hey, she has done it before for a reality star.
Hayden P and Scotty McKnight? Although HP is far from a b list.
ReplyDeleteJennifer Love Hewitt?
ReplyDeleteKristin Cavelerri?
ReplyDeleteJessica Szohr and QB Aaron Rodgers from Green Bay
ReplyDeleteTotally off topic but cdanluva's post reminded me. Last night I dreamed that Johnny Depp was papped kissing Jennifer Love Hewitt. Tongue was involved. I was outraged.
ReplyDeleteI can't think of a single B list actress that is dating a NFL player.
ReplyDeleteI can only think of C's and below. Huh.
Minka Kelly is C right?
@brendalove - "i was outraged" made me bust out laughing.
ReplyDeleteI first thought of Kristen C but lord please help me if she's considered B list ACTRESS. She's a reality star, never acted as anything other than herself, right?
But I can't think of any actresses dating NFLers that fit.
Khloe's bff is an actress but not b list and she dated Rob.
ReplyDeleteI think this is meant to be Hayden Panettiere and Scotty McKnight. She dated Steve Jones from X Factor very briefly. Agree she's not really a B other than on name recognition, but that's all I got.
ReplyDeleteIs Tim Tebow dating anyone?
ReplyDelete@Brenda Love - Nooooooooooo! Run Johnny, RUN!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOk, new guess:
Mark Sanchez and somebody?
Hayden P used to date Stephen Colletti who used to be on Laguna Beach (pre The Hills)
ReplyDeleteHas to be HP mark Sanchez dates that model links Kelly dates Jeter (baseball) and those other hatches are nowhere close to B.
ReplyDeleteAaron Rodgers is NOT gay! He's also dating some blond model-ly type, and not me dammit!
ReplyDeleteNot Steve Jones! He can't be gay! .... dabbing eyes with Welsh flag.....
ReplyDeleteHow about Hank and Kendra?
ReplyDeletedidn't I just read somewhere that Ellen was asking some actress if she was dating Mark Sanchez? on this very site?? let me search....
ReplyDeletenever mind. It was Kate Upton, and I think she's just a model?
ReplyDeleteDang it, I do not want Aaron Rodgers to be gay!!! I mean, great for him if he IS...but still, I'd be sad for the wimmin-folk on that one :(
ReplyDeleteand lookie lookie... we have a pic of Hayden P and Scotty McKnight today. Fancy that!
ReplyDeleteRichard Simmons of the 80s Health Nut Era. He has his OWN work out VHSs. He was also on a reality showed called General Hospital. Swear. To. God. I have never seen him with a woman. I know!!!FTW.
ReplyDeleteI had to explain who Minka Kelly was to another team at trivia last night. I said "An actress who's famous for dating a really famous baseball player."
ReplyDeleteAccurate?
judging by the daily photos we know the answer is Hayden P & Scotty McKnight.
ReplyDeleteMontatMarriot for the win!
Why am I thinking Jeff Cutler and Kristin Cavallari? Only NFL "B" actress combo I know. Unless you include Chad Johnson and Evelyn Lozada (Basketball wives)
ReplyDeleteWhat reality star was Hayden bearding for?!! The only reality star I remember her dating was the guy from Laguna Beach and I highly doubt he's closeted...
ReplyDeleteJessie, she was also on Friday Night Lights, one of the best tv shows of all time. Admittedly, she was one of the weaker links on the show, but she gets a pass from a lot of us just for being associated with that gem.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of FNL, I am so glad this is going to be The Spring of Tim Riggins. Battleship and John Carter may be big-budget trashy movies, but he's going to make them awesome.
ReplyDeleteAaron = not gay. His girlfriend is hot.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's Mark Sanchez because Enty didn't say it was an underage beard. *rimshot*
Cutler got K Cav. pregnant so I don't think it's him.
ReplyDelete(This is being posted in RANDOM PHOTOS comments AND here as it is related to both).
ReplyDeleteHey guys and gals! I'm currently at a swanky soiree tonight and unable to reply, but I spent all afternoon typing this up (with my wife's help). I'm gonna share with you one of the worst-kept secrets from NYC to Hollywood. We'll call it: "The Case of The Ball-Buddies Beard".
Our beard - SHE is known all over America, Europe, Japan, the Middle East, (and even Russia) for her kinky games with athletes, models, and actors. Her image in the media and TV is that of an All-American spunky cheerleader with a motor-driven ass. In fact, her declining acting career is based on such a role. In real life she's hell-bent for leather and loves giving the pain while receiving the pleasure. A few years back at Cannes, she "bonded" with some heiress/divorcee ladies on a yacht, and she literally got off beating the hell out of one of them. An attempt at a relationship with a heavyweight foreigner made eyes pop and minds wonder in awe: "HOW is that...possible? Wouldn't it KILL the poor girl?". Turns out they were both into everything together, no boundaries.
Next she's linked to an NFL QB who is a PR dream come true. What's better for a QB than a cheerleader? Except, turns out that the dashing poster-boy hanging from locker room walls...would rather be hanging out in locker rooms WITH the boys. As in Village People and YMCA. He's a big fan of show tunes and musicals.
Not a big deal - except he wanted to come out and take a stand. Then his owners, sponsors, and endorsers (and the NFL itself) went batshit at the thought. So to keep him happy they promised to team him up with his lifelong...ahem..."buddy". (The buddy it turns out is not only a stellar athlete himself but a long-time lover of the QB).
(CONTINUED...)
PART TWO:
ReplyDeleteFastforward to the past year. With all the Penn State mess going on, then Syracuse, the powers-that-be in the sports world say it's starting to look like a Catholic Priest Bath House. Which is about the time this duo decides to push for their own "outing" again. Enter the MEGA PR spin docs hired to pacify this mess (like Oval Office types who spin for BP oil!). So the NFL and team owners, plus agents and endorsers ALL go into overdrive to keep this couple "happy" and dispel the facts away from the conservative fans, shoe customers, ball-dads, minivans, and school kids who support them.
Their ideas? Throw oceans of money at these two and set them up in beards with:
1. The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover Girl. What better male fantasy is there?
2. Next they enlist the cheerleader actress for a "sequel" but this time with the WR and not the QB. This deal serves 3 purposes: First, just like the SI model, it'll inspire envy as all horny hetero boys would worship him. Second, it'll allow the QB and WR to "hang out" with her around. And Third, it'll keep the kinky actress full of twisted fun. It's all a big WIN-WIN-WIN for everyone...right? What could possibly go wrong?
THREE BIG things (which the owners don't yet know).
#1: Our football studs STILL wanna come out to be the "first" primetime NFL duo to be openly gay. (Unless the NFL finds a way to shush or reward them for good).
Problem #2: Not only do tons already know they’re gay, but someone somewhere is bound to leak it...WITH proof and documents.
Which brings Problem #3: Our kinky actress is not known for her maturity. Sure, money and fun are good - but what if she decides to shake people down? Her agent says: "Expect to see her co-starring in some big roles soon (maybe alongside Rooney Mara) and possibly getting some production deals or her own series on...NBC - or whichever network just HAPPENS to also have a rich NFL deal.”
Maybe this is why her Eurotrash heiress S&M girlfriend - also a photographer and reputed madam - has been keeping videos, pix, texts, etc. of the actress with the two boys. You know, just in case.
So keep all of this in mind as the careers of these 3 progress in the future. All of this was told to me as I've told you (but WITH names) by a rep for the actress and a MAJOR Exec at ESPN.
(PS - go back and watch that clip of Ellen asking the SI model about her dating life. But imagine Ellen knows everything I just told you - which she does. Kinda makes it seem very, sneaky- and cool now huh? I promise you that if ANYONE on this earth knows who is gay - it's Ellen. Then watch the reaction of the model. Hypocrisy is expensive.)
(THE END from your friends: Himmmm and Herrrr).
Everything points to Hayden, but how can she possibly still be considered B?
ReplyDeleteIs it just me, or the camera angle - but that picture of Hayden and Scotty McKnight in todays photos, Scotty is smaller than Hayden? And he's a football player?
ReplyDeleteWide receivers aren't huge
ReplyDeleteand I wish I could show y'all how big my eyes got reading this because it all makes so much sense
@himmm
ReplyDeleteHoly cow THAT was great. Wllll witten and succinct without requiring any hollywood calculus.
"Motor driven butt" can I steal that?
Who is the heiress?
If Himmmm and Herrrr have a newsletter somewhere, I very much wish to subscribe to it. Posthaste.
ReplyDeletedoes this explain Peyton Manning being released?
ReplyDeleteI bet its Mark Sanchez.
ReplyDeleteIf you follow Himmmm's clues you can see that he is talking about Mark Sanchez and Scotty McKnight who are the QB and WR for the New York Jets.
ReplyDeleteHayden is the "cheerleader" (her character is Heroes) and the beard for McKnight.
Kate Upton is "model" and beard for Mark Sanchez.
If you watch the Ellen video Himmmm references you can easily see that Kate Upton is very uncomfortable and practically giving away the "secret".
Also this article kind of seals the deal for me...
http://blogs.ocweekly.com/navelgazing/2011/05/mark_sanchez_jets_mission_viej.php