Sunday, February 26, 2012

Academy Awards Live Blog

Titanic 3D because James Cameron needs more money

6p-7p

The scary thing about this award is seeing Angelina's skeleton hand.

Just give it to Christopher Plummer. Forget all this. Waste of time.

Hugo. Again.

Apparently in Ben Stiller's world Harry is pronounced Har e

Emma Stone is upstaging Ben Stiller in more ways than one.

The cartoon with the smoking creatures wins! Yay for kids!

Hi, my name is "sniff." Robert Downey "sniff." Oh f**k it, Give me a second. I need to run to the bathroom.

Love Undefeated!!

It's like Iron Man but without CGI. The writing is just as bad.

Cirque De Soleil is in that theatre the rest of the year and you would think they would get this one night off. Nope.

Ellen in the JCP commercial is funnier than the entire show so far

They make it seem like Best Actor is next & not 4 hrs down the road. I want Clooney to lose because he thinks he is going to win

Mark Wahlberg is Nostradamus. Hugo wins again

Martin Scorcese and Harry Carey. Long lost twins

Hugo wins their 33rd win of the night and the worst pun.

If every speech was that short, we would be finished

Two years in a row. Still can't remember their name. Good job though guys!

Quite the porn star stache on Bradley Cooper.

It's a Christopher Guest sketch!

Yay Octavia!!

Jennifer Chastain's mom is wearing a rock museum around her neck. Nothing says high fashion like Geodes.

Nick Nolte hand clap. Hold one hand steady and move the other. Christian Bale should just always yell.

Iran won huh?

5p-6p

Can Brad Pitt complete... a sentence... without pausing..... every.... two words

For one year I think the crew people should get the front row seats. It is the same damn statue. Can you see Meryl Streep being a gaffer? Yeah, but a gaffer could easily be in an Adam Sandler movie.

That is as close as Jennifer Lopez is getting to an Academy Award

Twilight? At the Oscars? Really?

Steel drums make me want Red Stripe and jerk chicken. Oh, and to watch Cool Runnings.

That woman looks like when Maya Rudolph used to play Donatella Versace

The guy looked like a Yeti in a suit and its always 420 in his world

Tom Hanks looks really good.

Next time, turn up Billy's microphone or turn down the band

Nothing makes people feel better about the economy than millionaires presenting gold statutes to each other.

Tom Cruise thought it was a Scientology meeting. Just had to get himself in the show.

Did Billy Crystal get work done or is his hairline receding?

Way to start off the show. The guy who has sex with his granddaughter.

Why do I think Brian Grazer has told other women to come back to his office for tequila

Is Natalie Portman wearing a sundress? Did she wash her hair?

George Clooney likes them with a touch of skank. Arm band tattoo followed by a wrestler. She does look good though.

Bradley Cooper. Nothing exciting to say, just had not posted in a few minutes.

4p-5p

And she is healed. Did anyone see the woman get out of the wheelchair and stand?

Jennifer Lopez looks like the Oscar statue. Only female. And not naked. Well, almost naked.

Rico Rodriguez was hilarious.

I like how the British interviewer slips in all the British slang while interviewing the British Colin Firth.

Kristen Wiig's writing partner should stick to writing and give up being interviewed.

George Clooney's mom looks 20

Christopher Plummer is wearing purple velvet. Reminds me of a Crown Royal bottle.

I think Nina Garcia is drunk. So am I. How else can I get through the next five hours?

Ugggh. Seriously? Time does not make Cher's dress or Bjork's dress better.

I always expect Rooney Mara to sound like an Eastern European because she looks like that Russian in Dodgeball.

Tim Gunn wearing Spanx. Nice mental image.


510 comments:

  1. Enty you crack me up!

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  2. Hey Enty! Hope you're doing ok. Pace yourself!!!

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  3. oh hell no, they let Sascha Baron Cohen go ahead with his stunt? Boo.

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  4. Never noticed how weird Rooney Mara's teeth are!

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  5. I love Emma Stone. She looks awesome!

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  6. not loving Mellisa Mcarthy's dress makes her look bigger then she is.

    Death to the West!

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  7. Anonymous4:17 PM

    Go away with your stunts Cohen!!!

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  8. Ooooo ryan...I can't believe he's not freaking out

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  9. omg, SBC just dumped Kim Jong Ill all over Ryan and the red carpet. I don't care who hates Sacha. I love him!

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  10. Now I REALLY feel sorry for Isla Fischer. Poor girl and has (2?) kids. But he did just bomb Ryan Seacreast with ashes!

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  11. I'm sorry, that was funny. Ryan is so composed. I wish Ryan had cursed.

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  12. Ppl here just booed that "stunt". Like outloud legit boos.

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  13. Anonymous4:18 PM

    planned and not funny

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  14. Ryan is freaking out actually, in his controlled way.

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  15. now Sascha is never going to get that reality show on E!

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  16. He's doing a good job...he knows all cameras are looking at him.

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  17. Ryan looks like he was lying around an all gay Hollywood party, letting dudes do blow all over his body.

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  18. Oh you KNOW Ryan is having a hissy fit to infinity right now!!! ROFL

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  19. I've always liked SBC and have never been a fan of RS but DAMN what a dick move!

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  20. BNL, where is 'here'? Are you on site somewhere or at a viewing party?

    My respect for Ryan Seacrest just went up about 1000x (unless he knew it was coming, then I'm just meh).

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  21. Why does SBC think that's funny?

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  22. if Ryan is wearing a new jacket after the commerical. I would say planned. But if not, I would say SBC pulled it over on Ryan and the Academy.

    Security didn't look happy with SBC and all the dust/Kim on the sacred red carpet.

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  23. @FS - I'm at a Oscar party in NYC. The people that aren't in LA are here. Its not A-list celebs. But many people you all would know.

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  24. @bnl1016 - like who?

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  25. Thanks BNL, appreciate the answer. :) I vaguely remembered that you were East Coast, mostly.

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  26. have fun @bnl, don't get too drunk and keep dishing! ;)

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  27. People here are now saying how frozen Tina Fey's face looks.

    Mango - Lots of east coast celebs and reality people. I don't want to give too many names. I don't want people to figure out where I am or who I am. Hope you understand.

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  28. I can't believe I'm saying this, but JLo looks incredible.

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  29. I liked Milla Jovovovovovich's dress.

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  30. Props to Ryan for not changing. JLo is as exciting as watching paint dry.

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  31. Thanks to being the techonlogy era no one is questioning the fact that my phone is glued to my palm tonight LOL

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  32. @bnl Thanks for sharing! You're awesome!

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  33. I don't think Ryan would have anything to change into. Which is why I don't think it was a planned bit.

    Jlo's dress looks great, the dress was better than her face though.

    Wiig looks washed out. Girl, go for some color. Punch it up.

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  34. @ bnl1016 - I TOTALLY understand.

    Funny, I couldn't figure out why JLo was so nice to Ryan but I forgot that she was on Idol - I don't watch the show!

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  35. So my guess for the drunk housewife (past) is Bethany. I do love her tho.

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  36. Am not a fan of the big red neck bow. Nope, not.

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  37. OOOHHHH, I want a milk punch right now. Haven't started drinking yet - how about you all?

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  38. Is Lindsay there bnl? She'd be in NY now seeing as she has to be at SNL's office tomorrow.

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  39. i'm gonna order chinese food in a little awhile. It's a traditon.

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  40. Hmmm, Michelle is wearing Pantone's color of the year.
    Not sure I like the dress or her.

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  41. Every time Lindsay looks at Emma Stone she has to scream. SHE STOLE MY CAREER!!

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  42. Haven't seen Lindsday - but you are 100% correct that she may show. I've heard whispers. I think I saw Dina earlier but I could be wrong. I've had ALOT of wine.

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  43. @Timebob - COMPLETELY agree. Emma is what LL could have been.

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  44. MMMM Chinese food...

    I've had a big glass of wine on a mostly empty stomach and I feel like bnl's NY Housewife... a bit sloshed. If the show doesn't start soon, I might fall asleep!

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  45. Damn, I sneak off to eat my dinner and totally miss SBC's little stunt...

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  46. "She didn't over-accessorize" really means "did she leave her joolery at home?!"

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  47. yea, i gotta pee guys. off the bathroom. sometimes the most intersting place of the party ;-)

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  48. @ Robin - It's Jooery. No "L". :)

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  49. Oh, and who are the other 2 women critiquing the fashion on E! besides Kelly & Guiliana? The older one on the far left looks like of blousy & cheap...

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  50. Kelly Osbourne's hair looks like someone ate a slurpee and vomited it up.

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  51. @Middle-aged Diva - you're killing me with the joolery!

    @timebob - not too many places deliver here, and I'm way too lazy right now to go out. Enjoy some chinese food for me!

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  52. OK, I just saw her name & that she's a stylist...um, you're a STYLIST and you look THAT shitty?!?

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  53. at least Michelle Williams isn't dressed as a hippy dippy flower child. She actually looks like a woman. Pretty jewlery.

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  54. Clooney's mom has Good DR's

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  55. @Timebob - there is one big difference between Lindsay and Emma. Emma has TALENT.

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  56. Yes drinking wine but the milk punch sounds interesting. I am nursing a headache from last night and the wine is not helping!

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  57. I just do not get the love for Michelle Williams + the pixie haircut + fug dresses. Maybe I need more wine?

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  58. Do you mean to tell me that nobody is arriving and that these women droning on is the only way to fill up time???

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  59. Lindsay had talent back in the day,

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  60. listening to Sara Hyland talk about fashion is going to give me a massive migraine. I guess no one can do red carptet coverage right now because of ABC's rights. Meh, over to ABC now.

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  61. I have a cardboard witch that I hang up every Halloween that has the same hair color as Kelly O.

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  62. Tim Gunn is looking more and more like Max Headroom every day.

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  63. Colin Firth looks like he has bed head. Think he did it with his wife in the limo? With Cameron Diaz last night?

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  64. Yeah, Colin is with his woman. Thank god he was used to throw off the scent of Diddy.

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  65. About to pop the champagne. No pomegranate juice so I think I will mix with mango sorbet.

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  66. tina fey looks great!

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  67. ...and now she's tearing up Melissa McCarthy's look--hey, bitch, take your damn bedhead and go home!

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  68. I don't get Colin's wife dress, is that little shelf to catch drool, food? Dresses that stand out from the breast area always look kinda fug to me.

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  69. laura, don't know if that sounds good or weird... let me know.

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  70. I'm off to find something to eat. If there is a god

    1) there is something in my kitchen.

    2) Lindsay doesn't show up stumbling with white shit on her nose.

    Pls notice the order of importance.

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  71. Ya what happened to E coverage? 30 min before they have to not cover the red carpet? Guess so. I am on ABC now but it is not covering arrivals either, barely.

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  72. ABC red carpet coverage sucks. Bring back the E coverage, dammit!

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  73. Pretty sure ABC pulled some type of exclusivity rule for the last part of the arrivals, so E can only do studio/desk type stuff now.

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  74. Ahhhhh Jean, he is just so adorable.

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  75. don't have E so I'm watching the lame ABC stuff. I don't know who that Robin woman is but her face is very manly.

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  76. Robin Roberts creeps me out. I'm not convinced that she is actually a woman. I've always thought that she's a very classy, successful drag queen.

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  77. How long IS this red carpet? I saw some of these celebs arrive nearly an hour ago!

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  78. Who is the drunk bitch covering for ABC?

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  79. nola, i just figured it out - she looks like The Rock, in drag! omg!

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  80. I don't think I have the E channel...glad to hear y'all are having to suffer abc's crap coverage now too....misery loves company. ;)

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  81. I'm sick of the E ladies, should I switch to ABC pre-game?

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  82. I actually miss Barbara Walter's Oscar special tonight. E! is boring me.

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  83. Del, you're killing me. A shelf to catch drool! OMG. BTW, I was wondering the same thing.

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  84. I knew Robin back in the 80's. She is a lovely person, and very much a woman.

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  85. So are Brad & Angie not gracing us with their presence on the red carpet or did I just miss it?

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  86. Almost as bad as ABC's coverage - having to sit through ABC's tv show promos.

    *sigh* JLo's dress might be my favorite of the night. Shame it's on her.

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  87. No sign of them yet, Good....I suspect they'll insist on making the grand entrance as the last on the carpet.

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  88. Mango - Im not a fan of Michelle Williams either. I dont get it. I've met her in person and I can't get past the "duck face" thing from Dawson's Creek.

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    1. Nick Nolte was deaf...that was embarrassing...
      Jlo's dress is beautiful.

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  89. is that Nick Nolte or his ghost?

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  90. I mostly like JLo's dress, but I do not like the way it is squashing her breasts down instead of lifting them up. She is working those Spanx for sure.

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  91. Nick Nolte - what the hell happened? How wasted is he???

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  92. *whistles*

    Billy Crystal better pull some rank and start the Oscars early or I'm bailing, LOL.

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  93. OMG, Nick Nolte, so sad. Is he the one that might have Alzheimers?

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  94. Who was the dude in the wheelchair pulling his date onto his lap?

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  95. Oh Zak, I love him! Garanimals!

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  96. haha who are you wearing? grananimals - Zach Galifinakis

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  97. You guys are so fast. Can't keep up. Wonder if there's a delay on these TVs. Or it was my trip to the bathroom. Broke the seal. FML.

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  98. Nick said he didn't understand her accent

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  99. I'm sorry, what the hell happened to Nick Nolte??!!

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  100. Oh, someones getting kicked out. Huge scuffle. F!ck. Cant see who it is.

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  101. @bnl - did you see Russell Simmons when you were in the restroom?

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  102. Is this REALLY what E! planned for the past 30 minutes?

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  103. @Nola - THAT was priceless.

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  104. LOL, nola. Maybe he was there with LiLo.

    I'm dying to know who is involved in the scuffle, bnl!

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  105. Good, I thought I too missed the Brange arrival as I have been flipping from ABC (ZZZZZ) to E but guess not. Sticking on ABC now. Maybe they are stuck in traffic or "doing it in the back of the limo on the way over" as she did with BB.

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  106. show starts @8:30pm EST folks. 30 mins to go. Get your drinks on.

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  107. I think maybe something happened with Ryan, as he was the red-carpet person. Maybe he stalked off? I'm sure we'll hear about it.

    And bnl1016 - what's going on? You give great scoop!

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  108. Holy Crap - just because I'm an IDIOT I saw the guess of guess of BETHENNY as the drunk former housewife!! WOW!

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  109. @bnl probably a party crasher?

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  110. Hee hee, Enty saw the wheelchair woman too, but missed the best part - her sugar daddy pulling her on his lap after sitting in the wheelchair.

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  111. Oh Cammie and JLo are there with Diddy, Ha!

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  112. Uh oh, Cameron Diaz has bedhead that matches Colin Firth's. Please say it ain't so.

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  113. Cammie really has ezpanded in the mouth area. Diddy must be hung.

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  114. Can't stand cameron and her face isnt moving either

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  115. wait - thought it started at 5?

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  116. omg there's jason segal, my surgeon!

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  117. My second Kettle One on the rocks is going down quite smooth!

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  118. @bnl...I love your updates. Keep em coming and have fun!

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  119. Do you all remember that dress Kate Capshaw wore in Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom?

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_94wGm5Prdv0/TUC-MxGsOJI/AAAAAAAAI_o/w6AYpaRYBvo/s1600/indiana-jones-et-le-temple-maudit-1984-01-g.jpg

    Ellie Kemper's dress just reminded me of that.

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  120. NOOOOO...NOT the porn stache!!!

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  121. don't care for BC's stache.

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  122. So cooper looks like he's ready to film a porn flick

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  123. Nick stoller looks like a young jerry lewis

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  124. Topher looks like a molester with that stash. Really, Bradley?

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  125. I do not like bradley's hairy lip

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  126. Gwyneth's last purge didn't go so well.

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  127. So goop looks like she's wearing bedsheets

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  128. E!'s coverage of the red carpet seemed better than ABC's.


    Not everyone in a wheelchair is a paraplegic ...some of us can and do walk short distances

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  129. Gweneth's accent is all over the place. She looks good, though.

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  130. Dudes, I'M wondering who the scuffle was over. You cant get in here w/out a printed invite so it wasn't a crasher. I'm trying to listen to what's going on around me w/out being too obvious. I want to know just as much as you guys.

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  131. Oops, get the cheese, here comes the whine- Paltrow!

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  132. Oh Gwennie bragging your BFF's with Cameron.

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  133. I swear, I thought at first that Glenn Close said she was wearing Zac Efron.

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  134. Anna Faris as late 70's Debbie Harry everybody.

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  135. The contents of those briefcases - why bother? Marky Mark already set us straight.

    He's such a douche.

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  136. I didn't know it was Nick Nolte until I heard his voice.

    Is Bradley Cooper just too cool for school or what?

    What's the Bethanny guess?? Did I miss a Twitter reveal?

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  137. @EmEyeKay

    The Champagne with mango sorbet turned out to be delicious!! I added some raspberries - I took a photo in my profile.

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  138. @EmEyeKay

    The Champagne with mango sorbet turned out to be delicious!! I added some raspberries - I took a photo in my profile.

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  139. seachica, that's a lovely visual... !!!

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  140. True, not everyone is a wheelchair can't walk, maybe can't walk distance like me after 3 back surgeries. So you scoot as far as you can and maybe able to walk the last 20 feet and get to your table to sit.

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  141. @Laura - that looks great.

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  142. Get off my TV big Jaw Leno!

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  143. P.S haven't seen the "housewife" since i saw her spill a drink and have her hubby grab her arm and drag her away. wondering if they left....

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  144. I laughed at that Nola. LoL.

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  145. Something is definitely up with Seacrest being absent...

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  146. Stacy K. is about 7 feet taller then George. I think she has an "available for hire" sign pinned to her dress.

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  147. The marky Mark comment, I mean, Nola.

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  148. I am glad Keebler cookie moved to his other side to show off the bow better.

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  149. For all the people who think they don't have E! I get it on a channel that is normally Nuns praying/Author's book readings and other odd things like that.

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  150. Pitt without Angelina?!

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  151. brad washed his hair!

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  152. I want to eat Brad!

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  153. Dayum!!! Brad looks hot!!!

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  154. laura, that IS pretty! Nice!

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  155. Did Sandra Bullock win that belt on the WWE?

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  156. Hate Sandy's dress, blech.

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  157. another ponytail...

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  158. I wish Sandra Bullock would quit it with the Botox.

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  159. WOW, angie looks AMAZING

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  160. Tim Gunn seems like a nice man. His voice is weird, though. He sounds like Frank Oz is doing his voice. Robin's voice sounds like Frank Oz too.

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  161. Angelina is on crack or something. no doubt in my mind

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  162. Frank Oz wouldn't put his name to this messy oscar coverage on ABC.

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  163. So they didn't interview Angelina, or did I miss it? Is she that cracked up that they couldn't put her in front of a mike?

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  164. This is the shitiest red carpet EVER!

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  165. Can I ask a dumb question...when do they eat? After the awards?

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  166. Maybe they couldn't interview Angelina because it's slightly breezy, so she would've blown away. Seriously--eat, girl! (And stop doing the drugs...)
    I HATE her hair color, too.

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  167. Beedee - In the case of many of these celebs, on Monday.

    There IS food served at the Oscar after-party. But I doubt some of the starlets partake.

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  168. I'm typically a lurker, but I've decided to join you guys tonight. And drinking a shot of Smirnoff every time they show Angelina. So far, only once.

    I can't wait to hear the snark from you regulars!!

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  169. Do you think they sneak in flasks?

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  170. I just saw Girl, Interrupted the other day (again) - and Angie was just as thin then as she is now.

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  171. bnl, keep it coming...

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  172. Well I saw Wolfgang's menu, but wondered who eats it...I thought they went to party right after...maybe not.

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  173. What's the deal with Angie? Is she wasted? Didn't stop Nick Nolte from being interviewed. Brad took one for the team.

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  174. Do you think they have bowls of coke in the bathrooms?

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  175. Please tell me that goatee on Tom Hanks is for a role!

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  176. Tom looks like Abraham Lincoln. He has gone down hill fast.

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  177. UGH. My boyfriend called me from Portugal and I blew him off THIS CRAP.

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  178. Tom seems like such a nice guy. He's someone I wouldn't mind having a drink with.

    Hello EmEyeKay!

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  179. Jackie...me too!!! I never have time to post during the day but love most of the regulars here!

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  180. Who is this interviewer chick?

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  181. Brian Grazer looks like he came out of Munchkinland.

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  182. Brian Grazer, or a baby monkey?
    http://www.thingsthatmakeyougoaahh.com/images/194-monkey-baby.jpg

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  183. Brian, give up that hairstyle PLEASE!

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  184. agree w/Enty, natalie portman's hair looked... unwashed.

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  185. Didn't think of the coke in the bathroom, I'm so naive.

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  186. Chris looks like a cleaned up Pookie!

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  187. Did anyone see Penelope Cruz? Loved her dress!

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  188. This Charlize Theron crap commercial for Dior is ridiculous.

    And PLEASE, E!, get rid of Kelly Osbourne! Fashion Police? Really?? She can't even color her hair well, let alone dress well.

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  189. haven't seen penelope or kelly o. yet.

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  190. Chris looked off to me. Did he have work done, or was it just his hair?

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  191. OK, onto the big event. So far nothing spectacular except maybe Seacreast getting bombed by an urn.

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