So, if you call yourself a tiger mom or tiger dad it somehow gives you an excuse to mistreat your kids because you can say you are doing it for the sake of their education. The father who made this video says that his son was born premature and that doctors warned him the boy might be slow mentally so he does this to toughen him up physically while the boy also has an education plan the father forces on him every day too. The video is only a minute long and takes place in New York City. The father does not seem to care about any negative reactions and has not apologized and the mom is fully on board with the education plan too. I say we go over to the guy's house and make him run around outside in the snow almost naked and do pushups. Oh, the boy is speaking in Chinese but what he is saying is please daddy give me a hug and that he is cold.
Will not watch.
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ReplyDeleteI won't watch, either. Nothing in the world pisses me off more than child or animal abuse.
ReplyDelete"So, if you call yourself a tiger mom or tiger dad it somehow gives you an excuse to mistreat your kids because you can say you are doing it for the sake of their education."
Pretty much.
Refuse to watch too. Parents should be reported. Case closed !
ReplyDeleteThere's no link, can't find out if it's true or not. How does running naked in the snow help your body or brain?
ReplyDeleteLately, every FREAKIN day, I wonder - what is wrong with people?
I know I'll probably catch some flack for this - but here goes. Through the years I've had more than few close Asian friends (male and female) and girlfriends. This type of parenting (though this example seems extreme) and treating your child almost as a product or as an investment, rather than an as human being that needs emotional nuturing was more common than not. Some adjusted better than others. My best friend is currently going through a divorce from one who did not.
ReplyDeleteI am so upset by this! People are monsters
ReplyDeleteI am not easily upset, I swear, but this kinda thing....words fail me
I am sickened.
ReplyDeleteI can't and won't watch the link, but reading the description brought tears to my eyes. "Please daddy, give me a hug." This makes me want to hurt the father and mother. This is abuse and should be reported. I feel sick now.
ReplyDeleteCan't watch it. CPS, where are ya?
ReplyDeleteI watched. This poor boy is clearly distressed. I hope this gets investigated thoroughly by CPS. There is no excuse for this kind of thing to be happening. Shame on these parents.
ReplyDeleteThis is major child abuse and completely sick. This child should be taken away from both parents. What horrible, absolutely horrific and demented parents this child has. I hope this man and his wife get caught and this child is taken away from them.
ReplyDeleteAs an Asian, I understand why some people are horrified by stories they hear of tiger parents. This case is really extreme and I think it's wrong what the dad did to his child. However, I do think that the differences of acceptability in this behavior have a lot to do with culture. In high school, all of my friends and I would share stories of how our parents would discipline/pressure us through their "tiger parenting". Some of those stories were pretty bad, but they were nowhere on the level of the video posted. However, most of the parents have really loosened up and stepped back after we went to college. And I have to say that for the most part, most of the kids have matured and grown up to be respectable, normal people. For the ones who had tiger parents, they know that their parents weren't very nice and nurturing to them, but they have moved on from it and accept it. Most of us accept it because it's considered normal Asian culture. We're bred from an early age to respect and allow our parents to talk to us and treat us however they want. Yes, sometimes it really effs with our heads and develops into deep resentment, but it's rare for any of us to actually call it "child abuse". Don't get me wrong here, it's not like we think it's perfectly fine for parents to hit their children or tell them they're worthless. In my personal experience, I had the worst relationship with my tiger mom. We fought every single day and I would hear the worst insults to make the flesh crawl off my face, my grades were never good enough, I was stupid, I never smiled enough, I didn't do enough extracurricular activities, and So and So's daughter was so much better than me. I became a very bitter, angry, hateful high schooler. After going to college, she did a 180 and we have a very good relationship now. I love my mom to death, but I know that I would never have called the police or told a school counselor that what she did was abuse. Of course not ALL Asian parents are tiger parents, I know some people who had the most loving parents who never raised their voices at their children, let alone laid a hand on them. However, the majority of Asian kids I knew had stories of tiger parents and viewed it as Asian parents being Asian parents. Would I ever raise my kid like that? No. But would I say that me and all of my friends were victims of child abuse? No, because that was our culture. In Asia, there was no such thing as grounding. They used physical discipline. I hope what I said gives people a bit of perspective on what it's like to actually be on the receiving end of tiger parenting.
ReplyDeleteAgain, sorry for the long comment, and I know that getting spanked by a tiger mom is not the same thing as getting forced to run in the snow in your underwear because that is just messed up. I just wanted people to know that tiger parenting is mostly accepted by Asians, and a lot of us actually grow up to be normal for the most part.
@soju thank you for sharing that.
ReplyDeleteI just want to run to that little boy and hug him, put a blanket around him and keep him safe..
i understand the whole tiger parenting thing. i mean i worked in a school where mom came and told her son (they were asian) that she didn't love him because he was acting bad in class. She said, "Do you want mommy to love you?" Which I thought was wha? (I'm African American and I've seen some stuff, but this was shocking to even me)
ReplyDeleteHowever, nothing justifies this bs. My daughter has Down Syndrome, should I make her run outside half naked to make her have less DS? If anything I wonder why haven't these parents been arrested yet. This is just repulsive.
Can't watch....
ReplyDeleteI think tiger parenting is different than what's going on here. It's not just name calling or trying to make sure your child does well in school, this is abuse. The father admits that he is doing it to overcome/prevent a mental handicap, which is insane. And what if this child does end up being slower than the average child? What happens to this boy then?
ReplyDelete@ac shows a great example - would there be more of an outcry if this boy had DS and the father was using this method for that?
"Tiger parenting" is a sorry excuse for what's happening here.
This is abuse plain and simple. All any of us can offer is an opinion, but from what I have seen Tiger Parenting is over the top and not quite as effective as people think. Seriously, the offspring of these parents that I have been exposed to are great individual contributers. But where are the leaders and risk taking innovaters (think Steve Jobs) from amongst these ranks? I am not seeing them so much.
ReplyDeleteThere is a grain of truth to Tiger Parenting and I have noticed this as well with non Asian friends who have been successes in their fields (I am proud to include my husband in that group). The thing they have right is that we as a society probably promote peer bonding way too much. When kids spend a majority of their time with friendswho can easily lead them astray and not enough time with postive, intelligent adults they tend to trust their friends more and adults less. They follow their friends leads, they respect their parents and extended families less, etc. Tiger Parents, I have to admit, make the best use of this advantage. That said, less rigid parents could use this to their benefit and get great results too. Without the abuse.
I couldn't watch the video either - but what a sorry ass excuse for a father. I hope CPS is over there as we speak. My heart breaks for this little boy - I can't imagine doing that to my little guy.
ReplyDeleteChild abuse, child exploitation and even borders on child sexual abuse and exploitation.
ReplyDeleteThis child should not be subjected to be out in public and videoed in his underwear. I am sure there is a certain scum section of society that would love this kind of thing.
There is absolutely no reason to believe that this toughens up a kid. He's lucky if he doesn't catch pneumonia out there like that. I hope they investigate this and put a stop to it.
Child abuse doesn't toughen up anyone. It is demeaning and is meant to be a sign of control over someone smaller than you. It is cowardly and disgusting. I hope they find these people and prosecute them.
Ent-I honestly think you should remove the video or at least find a way to block out the poor boy's face. This is humiliating.
@soju...I completely understand that it's part of your culture and therefore seems normal to you, but I still don't think it's right and is a form of child abuse, just like I think honor killings, which are considered normal in certain arab countries are completely sickening and dimented. I guess that's just the culture I grew up in. I think it's wrong.
ReplyDeleteTotally not watching the video, I get it that the Asian culture tends to parent differently then many "western" parents but there are limits!
ReplyDeleteThis does make me think of this guys from my home town, Edmonton. It's called the gateway to the north, literally, it regularly hits minus 40 in the winter. There is an Asian gentleman who EVERYDAY doesn't matter how cold (or hot, tho thats very rarely and issue) it is he goes for a run on the same route everyday and even in the winter wears nothing more then a t-shirt and sweats. He's a legend around town, everyone knows the "Chinese running man". So maybe they have a higher cold tolerence??? (I'm totally kidding)
How fucked up. Now only does the father do this to his kid, he films it!
ReplyDeleteI'd be interesting in knowing if CPS intervenes.
@soju - I have a good friend who grew up with a Tiger mother. I understand what you are trying to say and appreciate you sharing with us. I also understand that you are saying what THIS parent is doing is unacceptable even by Tiger parent standards.
ReplyDeleteThank you for putting yourself out there to give us all some perspective.
The hell is this shit? Refuse to watch.
ReplyDeleteThe parents are beyond fucking stupid for putting this on YouTube. CPS is probably at that house as we speak.
I HOPE they get what they deserve.
@Dishtlk - you're from Edmonton :) I live in Edmonton now, moved here 4 years ago. And I totally know who the running man is! Haha.
ReplyDeleteAccording to other news sites, this family lives in China, CPS can't do anything. They were in NYC for the lunar new year. I am horrified that people just drove by without intervening. This is just so disgusting. Poor little thing. I totally want to hug him.
ReplyDelete@BigMama - thank you.
ReplyDelete@crila16 - I'm not sure if I was misunderstood. I wasn't saying that I think what the dad is doing to his son in the video is ok because of my culture. What the parent is doing in that video is clearly wrong. I was trying to say that tiger parenting (not including that video) is accepted by most Asians as a part of life. By tiger parenting, I don't mean the messed up shit in that video.
My friends and I were not given compliments or shown much affection growing up. We never heard "I love you's" or could come to our parents to talk about things. If we got a B or C in school, we were told it was unacceptable. And if parents felt the need, they would discipline us. I was physically disciplined even in high school by my parents. And if I did anything my mom thought was wrong or shameful, she had no qualms insulting me and telling me I was worthless. And our parents would try to control every aspect of our lives: friends, classes, major, extracurricular activities, how we spent our free time. That is what I mean by tiger parenting. Although the way my friends and I were raised wasn't the most ideal and we all agree we would NOT raise our children like that, we accepted it as a part of being Asian. We often bring it up for discussion, and trust me, we are not happy with how we were treated growing up. But for the most part, my parents and many of my friends' parents are now quite "modern" and laid back now that we have gone to college. Hell, my mom and I say "I love you" to each other and she writes me cards saying how much she appreciates me! However, I know that my family and my friends' parents would be horrified by this video and would NEVER do something like this. Hope that clears things up.
To everyone, I was only bringing up my experience and tiger parenting because Enty mentioned it in his comment. Hope my input isn't offending people. I am not excusing all Asian parents and extreme cases, I'm just saying...it's how we were brought up unfortunately :/
P.S. At the risk of sounding hypocritical, even if it is Middle Eastern culture, I think honor killings are wrong and evil.
I watched and was disturbed by the man walking by and not doing anything. Having written that, sometimes people who intervene get themselves hurt, even killed. A man in Australia tried to help a woman who was getting beaten in the street by her boyfriend and he was stabbed to death. Hopefully some of the people who saw this boy rang the authorities.
ReplyDeleteI don't think Tiger parenting is the be all and end all when you look at the suicide statistics from China. I have a friend whose mum is Malay Chinese (her dad was Scottish) and the parenting style of her mother has caused her to move to the other side of the country, then overseas, and now back in another state. Because her mother can't understand boundaries, and would smother her and her husband, her husband insisted they not live in the same state as her mother (her father died a while ago). I think this is extremely sad but understandable. Unfortunately not everyone ends up in a good relationship with a critical parent. I don't think that is confined to the Asian culture either. My mother was very hard on me, and when she died I was sad and relieved at the same time. That may read harsh, but I am just being honest.
I won't watch, no way...however, give me this piece of shits address and I will gladly see to it that he is hurt.
ReplyDeleteI will not watch this either. Child abuse makes me SICK. Those parents don't deserve to have a child!!! I am so MAD!!!
ReplyDeleteDisgusting. There are many ways to teach your child to be the best he can be. THIS is child abuse. They would probably have arrested me if I was there.
ReplyDeleteIs this supposed to have been filmed in NYC *this* lunar new year? Because so far we haven't had enough snow to stick, let alone cover the ground for 2" like that. It does appear to be in Queens -- could it have been shot last year?
ReplyDeleteI can not even begin to imagine making my child feel unloved and worthless. My heart aches for this boy.
ReplyDeleteBarbaric to say the least. I knew an Asian girl whose father was in the military. He was like this with her growing up. When she would report what was happening to her teachers he would be then be interviewed by the authorities. After they left he would walk right up to her, stare at her an inch from her face and say "You think you're so smart don't you?" I can imagine it was a hard way for her to grow up. Luckily, she's on her own now and only speaks to her father on occasion.
ReplyDeleteI watched, the child is cold and begins to cry when forced to put his hands in the snow -- in the middle of a NYC street -- to do pushups. If the parents find this acceptable in public and videotape it themselves, I don't even want to know what else they do to the child behind closed doors.
ReplyDeleteThis is an extreme case of "Tiger" parenting.
ReplyDeleteI'm Asian, and I was raised in a very strict household.
I was not allowed to date until I went to University, but I was allowed to participate in school activities.
Did I go to parties in high school? No
Do I regret it? No
Did I panic if I didn't get straight A's. Hell Yes!
My parents gave me my freedom once I entered college.
I never felt I was being abused because I had many Asian friends who went through the same strict upbringing.
I think the Asian kids who felt they were being abused probably didn't have another Asian kid to talk to. Just my opinion.
My parents didn't believe in time outs. I would get my butt spanked if I was out of line.
Would I spank my children? No
Do I think time outs work? No
I'm not going to judge these parents because it's a different culture.
My parents were raised in a country where teachers are allowed to discipline their students.
I know my friends probably thought my parents were abusive and didn't love me, but I know they loved me and only wanted the best for me.
Don't judge a parent until you have walked in their shoes.
My cousin was raised by a Tiger mom, and she turned out to be a very happy person.
@Hannah Palindrome -- "I'm not going to judge these parents because it's a different culture."
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but that is SUCH utter bullshit. I'm sick to death of cruel and inhumane acts being perpetrated on vulnerable people (or animals, for that matter) under the guise of culture, tradition, or religion. It's 2012. GROW. EVOLVE. CHANGE.
Your not being allowed to attend high school parties doesn't remotely compare to a four-year old potentially getting hypothermia. Apples and freakin' oranges.
This man is a piece of s%^t. I can't even deal with this.
ReplyDeleteomg, that precious little boy. :(
ReplyDeletei really do appreciate the cultural perspectives, it's important to learn and understand this...but my heart still breaks. this is blatant, gross abuse. sweet little baby...i hope he's ok.
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ReplyDeleteI *do* find it interesting to read about different cultures/parenting/discipline techniques...but I can't watch this video. :(
ReplyDeleteThe parents are sadistic. I wonder what they would do to this poor little boy if he ended up getting sick after being out in the snow practically naked.
ReplyDeleteIf they are concerned about his development they need to contact Early Intervention and get the boy signed up for the services he needs, not torture him.
Didn't watch. Agree that Tiger parenting might be good if you want to produce factory workers. Agree that some type of ASPD exists in these parents. Poor kid.
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