You know what I worry about? Asteroids hitting the earth and all of us dying. In my mind, celebrities probably have some special place they won't let the rest of us in so they will be safe and the survivors of the planet will be forced to watch either Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan in every movie and television show and it will all be hosted by Pauly Shore.
I worry about asteroids hitting the earth because it has happened before. So, when I see there is a 1-625 chance that an asteroid which is 460 feet wide will hit us in February 2040. 1 in 625 is what the odds are that you will win a big food prize in a McDonald's giveaway. Granted, the asteroid will probably only kill millions instead of wiping out the planet but if it hits your city you will be just as dead as if it was the whole planet. I don't even think you can get out of the way because no one knows where they will hit until it is too late to do anything about it.
Apparently the United Nations is looking into how to destroy it or alter its course. The people over there cannot even decide if they are going to order or coffee or tea for lunch so it looks like Clint Eastwood and Tommy Lee Jones are going to need to save us. Wait, did they die in that one? Bruce and Ben died in theirs too right? Did anyone actually live in those spate of movies that were all about the same thing? Tea Leoni did. She can save us. If she can survive having unprotected sex with David Duchovny all those years she can survive this.
Damn it's a slow news day...
ReplyDeleteUh, Tea Leoni died. Morgan Freeman lived.
ReplyDeleteIt IS a slow news day. Where's Blohan snorting coke off the pavement outside Chateau Marmoset when you need her.
This is also one of my biggest fears.
ReplyDeleteWhen I watch those awesome PBS and BBC shows about How the Earth was Made and Prehistoric Disasters and stuff about other galaxies/universes I'm in awe but also slightly tripped out that everything is so big and we are so so small.
But I guess shit will happen, whether we wish it to or not. So whatevs. NOT gonna waste time being worried about something that could happen in 28 yrs.
I should probably stop watching those shows too but you find out the coolest shit. Like for instance did you know that at one point in Earth's history the Armadillo was the size of a Buick!? And the earliest form of horse was as small as a house cat?!
I'd rather focus on a tiny prancing cat-sized horse than the thought of this asteroid wiping us out :)
Jasmine, don't watch Doomsday Preppers!
ReplyDeleteAnd like you, I wanna focus on thiny prancing cat-sized horses! Much more calming and fun =)
Morgan Freeman lived. Only one hit the planet, and the other 1 or 2 were destroyed. I want Morgan to save us. Not only can he alter the course of Asteroids, but he's also God. Just ask Jim Carey or Steve Carell.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't worry about it. It has 28 years to change course. Though, it's not really a question *if* something will hit the Earth, it is *when* it will.
ReplyDeleteMeh.
Ben lived. Bruce died.
ReplyDeleteI thought I heard the chances of that happening were a lot less than that?
ReplyDeleteWow, I wonder what those last days would be like, if we were all just waiting to see if and where it would hit...?
...but now I desperately want a cat-sized prancing horsie.
ReplyDeleteLOL Figgy and JoElla ;)
ReplyDeleteI'll be 73 so I'm not real worried. I also don't believe that Tea had all that much sex with Duchovny. Isn't she rumored to be gay and likely more interested in Scully than Mulder? Also, she supposedly had a brief affair with Madonna during her fake lesbian phase.
ReplyDeleteFiggy and JoElla win this one with the cat sized pony. I think my kids would like one of those. It needs it's own Meme with maybe some Jolie legs on it? hmmmm
ReplyDeleteIf I listed all the things I were worried about killing me, we would be here all day. I am a shade away from neurotic.
I'm laughing at Vicki Cupper & Chateau "Marmoset".
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of slow news days and the end of the world, could you please, BY ALL THAT IS HOLY, please, please continue the Kardashi-ban? It has been wonderful.
ReplyDeleteI second that. I've *almost* forgotten about those .. things.
DeleteWhere's Neil deGrasse Tyson when you need him.
ReplyDeleteNow this is how you take out an as(s)troid.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dlisted.com/2012/02/27/caption-contest-february-27th
I'll be 89 then so if I'm still alive, I'll probably be longing for the release death will bring.
ReplyDeleteOf course, you only have to worry about this if you survive this year :D
ReplyDeleteIt's 10 months, not 28 years.
ReplyDeleteHey, we only have to worry about this asteroid if the supervolcano in Yellowstone doesn't explode and kill us all first. Or that Canary Island with the big crack that could collapse into the Atlantic Ocean and create a giant tsunami that will wipe out our entire East Coast from Canada to South America. Or, a Hawaiian Island collapse that will generate a huge tsunami that will wipe out California and the rest of the West coast. No big deal!!
ReplyDeleteI have a relative who is a physicist and at one point worked for the Department of Defense on the "Star Wars" project, and he once mentioned to me that there are rockets developed for this sort of disaster....
ReplyDeleteIf you are eating enough McDonalds to know the odds to win a food prize does it really matter what is going to happen in 28 years?
ReplyDeleteIf you don't throw a clot you will probably have a blockage to your brain rendering you insane and you won't care (that is what I live for).
lmao @ hoosierlady
ReplyDeleteAwesome....I only need to save for 5 years of retirement. I'm going shopping.
If it was good enough for the dinosaurs, it's good enough to kill me!
ReplyDeleteIf you want to really be depressed, in about ten years we will be fighting for water. The water wars are next with the overpopulated planet. Astroids will be a gift by then.
Stories like this where the same reason I refused to go with my parents to church when they were teaching the book of Revelations. >¦[
ReplyDeleteForget the damn asteroid. What will wipe us all out will be a SUPERBUG. With the over use of antibiotics and experiments with these SUPERBUGS. Read the books --Demon in the Freezer and The Coming Plague. You won't sleep at night but it's enlightening.
ReplyDeleteIf this happens in 28 years or 10 months, I'm going to say fuck it - I'm going to find the BEST hash and smoke a huge fatty. In public.
ReplyDeleteSo 28 years from now when you hear about a 77 year-old woman being arrested for smoking up in public, that will be me with the excuse, "I thought the world was going to end."
You are my hero, lol.
DeleteFuck it...who wants to live forever! Trust me with the United Nations "looking into it", we're goners.
ReplyDeleteArdleigh, yep, there's one loose in India right now. In a place like New Delhi, I don't know how they can keep it from spreading.
ReplyDelete@jasmine - I just saw the tiny prancing horse comment & those that followed...I cannot stop laughing & now need one like Kirsten Bell needs a sloth.
ReplyDeleteLet's all pull together & hire some scientists..
I definitely want to own a prancy horse cat before the asteroid hits us.
ReplyDelete