Friday, January 27, 2012
Your Turn
While catching up on Teen Mom 2, I wondered how many of these pregnancies happened under the roof of the parents and if the parents let the kids sleep together in the house. So, my question(s) to you are would you let your child have sex under your roof and if so how old would they have to be first or what would your conditions be? My other question is when you give me your rules, I want to know if you ever did anything at your parent's house and if they ever knew.
I was living with my boyfriend and when we came to visit my parents out of state we had to sleep in different bedrooms. This was back in the early 90's and they were old fashioned.
ReplyDeleteI think with my kids I'll have to say over 18 yrs (pref older though, we'll see) and if they are living together or married they can sleep in the same room.
And yes, I snuck sex in my parent's house while they were out as a teen.
Never at my parents' house while I was in high school, but when I came home for the summer during University, I brought home my boyfriend and we were allowed to sleep in the same room.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I did stuff with my high school boyfriend at his house. Pretty sure his parents knew what we were up to. Never sleepovers, though. After school stuff ;)
Oh this is a fun one.
ReplyDeleteI would not let my kids have boyfriend or girlfriend overnight unless they have already moved out of the house and are just visiting.
I never did anything at my parents house and they made it clear my boyfriend would never sleep over. When I was at university and visited my parents, my boyfriend and I were not allowed to sleep together. When I had graduated university, we were allowed to sleep together when visiting. I think these rules are totally fine and I'm going to repeat them with my children.
No I wouldn't give permission for my children to have sex in my home (until they were on their own and visiting). I made it very clear to them when we had "The Talk" I also informed my son that if he had a child he was 100% responsible to share in the life of him/her both financially and emotionally. I would rather have died then have my parents hear me having sex, so I did not have sex there. To that end, my five siblings and I all agree with you Enty, we were products of immaculate conception.
ReplyDeleteI don't have kids, but if I did, I would not knowingly allow sex until at least 20, 21 years of age. Sex is way too much to handle for teens. Not to mention creepy and wrong.
ReplyDeleteWhen the hell did it become socially acceptable for teens to be pregnant? It's not just reality shows - it's in scripted shows too. If you got pregnant when I was in high school, it was still a big scandal. That was only the 80s. Things have changed a great deal in a short amount of time.
My parents went out of town when I was like 18. My boyfriend (now husband) was home on break from college and spent the night,with me, but we didn't even have sex. My parents came home at like 5am, and my dad literally chased my boyfriend out of the house screaming that my dad had guns and he knew how to use them. My poor hubby drove the half hour to his house, and started nodding off on the drive after the adrenaline wore off. Poor guy had only like 2 hours of sleep. I didn't get in trouble, but my parents hated him for like 2 months after that.
ReplyDeleteSorry, drove to his mom's house. Darn typing on my phone!
ReplyDeleteI will not let my teenagers have sleep together in my house until they are out of the house and visiting. I did have sex in my parents home when I was a teen and that is why I will be more diligent with my kiddos!
ReplyDeleteI think RenoBlondee hit the main point. Most teens aren't "allowed" to have sex in their parents house. They just do it. Many live in dual income households so after school the parents are still at work. Its not that hard to get away with it.
ReplyDeleteI don't have kids, but when/if I do, in high school there will be no boy/girl sleepovers. Doors of bedrooms will stay open during visits. College, I'll see when we get there.
First question as to would I allow my teens to have sex with their lovers in my home??? I'd prefer not, but if they were 16 and above, & considering the state of affairs in our nation and our world, coupled with maybe it's time to really live each day as if it's your last, well then maybe, I mean...they could sleep over, but I certainly do not want or need to know if they're "doin'it."
ReplyDeleteAs to the question of, "did I ever have sex in my parents home?" - Hell no. I ran away at 13 and never lived in the p'rents home again, ever.
Do as I SAY--- not as I did
ReplyDeleteYes. In my parents house IN my parents bed. (please don't let my Mother read this site!)
If she is reading---- it wasn't MY idea!!!
No sex in my house but that now makes me a BIG hypocrite.
ReplyDeleteThis is so American hehehe.. My sister and I were allowed to have sex at home with our boyfriends but we were 16 or over. My mom said she would feel much better if we had sex at a safe place and not somewhere in the bushes. She also took us to the doctor for birth control when she noticed we started dating..
ReplyDeleteMy mom got me onto birth control pills as well, when I was in my late teens. There's no way I would have admitted having sex though, to my mom. Knowing her she would have wanted details!
ReplyDeleteI don't have children, but if I did, they wouldn't be allowed to have an SO sleep with them until they were living together or married. They can go find a hotel room or other spot just like I did at their age!
ReplyDeleteI didn't ever have sex in my parent's house - I would have been horrified for them to hear anything going on! Twice I had boyfriends visit me - once in HS and once in college. Both times they slept in the other room.
I'm twice my teenage years; my live-in BF and I recently visited my brother's house and slept in the same bed. And even *that* felt weird.
The problem with parents today is that they're too afraid to have rules. You CAN say "no!" Kids need rules and discipline. No wonder so many of them are into trouble nowadays!
ReplyDeleteNo teenage nookie in my house. Ever.
ReplyDeleteHaving to sneak around was the good part of teenage sex, lol.
ReplyDeleteNo way. My mom was relatively laid-back about things, but she'd never let a boyfriend sleep over willingly. One time a boyfriend had to sleep over because of a snow storm and between her and my dad they were up getting a drink, going to the bathroom, walking around, for most the night to ensure no funny business went on.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think too many parents want to be cool in the eyes of their kids, as well as being friends with them, and that is why (imo) teen pregnancy is so rampant these days. Obviously, these shows don't help.
I wasn't allowed to date until I went to University.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I would allow my future kids to have their bf/gf spend the night.
Letting child and his/her partner have sex in your house is not why there are so many teenage pregnancies. That has more to do with Americas inability to talk about sex with kids. Just look at how mothers nursing in public are treated. How pissed of parents are if one of their precious children see a breast (or two). Having grown up in Holland with pornmags at eye level... CHILL.
ReplyDeleteI didn't HAVE any boyfriends as a teenager! *LOL* I was a huge dork (was?) and lost my virginity pretty late. So yeah, not an issue. And even if I had been dating, the idea of my parents possibly hearing me have sex makes me vomit on the inside, so yeah, not an issue *L*.
ReplyDeleteAs for my own kids if I end up having them...I really don't know. I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with them doing it in my house, but the thing is, the are gonna be doing it eventually so it might as well be in a safe place. Maybe there could be a rule. NOT WHEN I AM HOME AND COULD POSSIBLY HEAR YOU.
sorta off topic, but it relates to my comment a bit (although I was thinking more One Second After-ish in the live each day as your last remark)
ReplyDeleteBUT...have any of you guys watched Melancholia yet?? Well you should. And I will bow out for the day with this link for you all to read. Godbless
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2092626/Asteroid-shield-wont-time-19-mile-wide-monster-hurtling-past-Earth-week.html
@Noetje...I'm with you. You are preaching to the choir. Honesty = best policy.
My younger brother went there first, had a girlfriend over. My mum was really conflicted she told me, but I thought it was great as it meant everything was out in the open. Mum said she wouldn't have allowed different people each weekend, but her and Dad decided it was better to know where we were than to have us be in some car. My brother didn't get anyone pregnant and I didn't get pregnant. Birth control and the emotional consequences of being sexually active were openly discussed. If we had been able to have children I would have liked to be the same.
ReplyDeleteI never has sex in my parent's home, if you knew my Dad you would understand.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter and her SO stayed with us on a visit after they had been on their own. I had the room so I provided them each a bedroom. If they converged in one room I didn't know about it.
When I was engaged to my husband we visited his Dad in Florida, we were given separate bedrooms. Out of respect we stayed in our own rooms.
Yeah in the house...sometimes they were sleeping...but heck to the no to my kids unless they are at least 20 and in a serious-ish relationship
ReplyDeleteI had sex in my parents' house, when I was 19 and they were out of town (I do not remember where they were, just that there was no need to hide for us). We stayed at his parents' place quite often for a night, and they were OK with it. Now, my husbands' parents (different person) were also OK with him bringing girls over. I think that the rules in my house will be: over 18 and birth control. I believe my children (I have 2, both sexes) will be smart enough to understand who they can bring home and whom not.
ReplyDeleteAll 4 of my kids think I'm too strict because I will not allow the opposite sex to stay the night at our house. Of course 'all of their friends parents' let them... and they are so much cooler than me!Sorry, but I will make sure they all have protection after a certain age, and tell them to go find a back country road like everyone else has done since the dawn of time:) lol
ReplyDeleteI have never had sex in my parent's home. It was my mother's house and we had some space in it (a room)on her terms: study/have a profession/get a good job/get married and go. The alternatives were get married/scram or a preview of the THE APOCALYPSE OF ST. JOHN THE APOSTLE exactly as is in the Bible. That goes for my children If I ever have them. And yes, my father told me about bees and storks, including preservatives, sexual diseases, gay sex, teen pregnancy and how an adult HAS to provide for himself, wife and kids. Untill now, I am really sure I have no child out of the wedlock.
ReplyDeleteI never did anything at my old house til I was in college. In middle/high school, I wasn't allowed to have boys in my room in the day time, let alone spending the night. Even after college, I had to sleep in separate bedrooms before I married. I used to think that it was because my mother was just super strict & religious, but I think it had more to do w/ the fact that my mom got pregnant really young herself & didn't want me to make the same mistake. None of this ever bothered me when I was younger b/c I was NEVER home and the last place I ever wanted to take a guy home was to my house.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I see how hypocritical it was of my mom to do that. ;) And all those rules surely didn't stop me from being naughty.
I haven't had this discussion with my husband yet (re: kids), but I'm thinking we'd both say no to high school sleep overs, but it'd be ok after they were 18. I'm not really sure b/c it would depend entirely upon the maturity of said offspring.
My daughter is living with my sister when she's not out on the ships. Apparently the small town I live in just outside of Seattle is not exciting enough for her. Well, she has this adorable boyfriend and apparently they have sleepovers at my sis' place. My girl is definitely of age, but her boyfriend looked so guilty going upstairs with her on New Year's Eve that it made me laugh inside.
ReplyDeleteI'm like Maja. I NEVER dated in high school so it was never an issue. But I had a single mom and (going back to a previous post abt that 15 yr old turning in her mom) she was very open about sex. If you were going to have it get info and birth control so you didn't end up liike her. The first time I had a date with a sleep over elsewhere all she asked was if I. Was being safe. She also made me live on my own at 18 cuz that was what she believed.
ReplyDeleteShe was 30 when I was 11 and would bring home men late at night when we were supposedly asleep. Hearing HER having sex was traumatic at the time. No young 'uns for me to deal with.
no boyfriends in high school and my single parent mom was a hoarder, so i never had ANYONE over. my 20 year old just had her bf visit from out of town and they stayed in the same room. Apparently she "entertained" at my house in high school while I was asleep.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, my live in bf and I visited his parents when we were 26 and had to sleep in a room with no door. ha ha.
Got my daughter on bc, against her will of course, at 15 to prepare ahead of a serious boyfriend. Also bought the Costco box of condoms & told her to share with her friends who were having sex, but who's parents were irresponsible and living in lala land. (those parents that think if they don't talk about it, it won't happen)
ReplyDeleteI never said "No sex in my house". Like others, I think it's safer than behind the 711.
I am consciously more open minded than my mother, who put the fear of God in you for even thinking about sex, yet we girls were having unprotected sex, throwing away our self respect more often than I care to remember.
All my slutty Catholic girlfriends were brought up the same way. Go figure.
I have never done the dirty in my parents home, I was raised LDS & left home at 15. My own boys are teenagers & I have not raised them as strictly as I was, but haven't let them date or attend dances, until they were 16 & would not let a girl sleep over, period. When they have moved out, maybe I would consider a gf sleeping over, but it would have to be separate rooms.
ReplyDeleteNope, not allowed. I have three teen kids, one of them at college now, two still in High School.
ReplyDeleteCame home from work unexpectedly one day to find the eldest in the shower....mommy radar pinged and I looked in her closet to find her boyfriend sans clothes. Looking back on it from two years distance, it's pretty funny, almost something from a cheesy, cheap movie! At the time I was livid.
Never brought a boy home to my parents house, I was a late bloomer, and to this day I feel guilty having sex when we visit them...I guess my kids were immaculately conceived?!?