Tim Gunn Has Been Celibate For 30 Years
It has been almost three decades since Tim Gunn had sex. He said on that ABC show yesterday that looks a lot like The View and The Talk but is called The Revolution and are no better than the soaps they replaced, that when he was in a relationship 30 years ago his former partner was impatient with Tim's sexual performance. He must have been really impatient for Tim to go without since the early 80's. Do you ever think that right under the surface Tim seems ready to explode? What kind of sexual performance issues did Tim have? They were together for six years so the performance must have not been that bad. In a movie version of himself, Tim would have a deep dark secret and probably be a serial killer who cuts out pictures of people in magazines and puts them up on a wall while whispering in a voice you cannot hear until it progressively gets louder and louder until he is screaming "make it work!"
He's talked about this before. He had a really hard time coming out, then had a really bad relationship with a guy who treated him awfully. It breaks my heart, because he's such a kind, wonderful man.
ReplyDelete30 hours, and im on edge. Poor thing.
ReplyDeleteI hope he finds someone who is so kind to him.
ReplyDeleteI'm closing in on his record. Not by choice.
ReplyDeletePoor dude.
While I firmly believe sex is a healthy vital part of living, I don't believe rather a person has a sex life or not makes them who they are.
ReplyDeleteI'll be honest.
In February it will have been 10 yrs since I've had sex. Having ended up as a single mom, I found it more important to raise my children, one of whom has special needs, than to cultivate a love life.
When I look at the overall "big picture" of me, I think I've come a long way and am a better person now that I ever was. Having or not having sex had nothing to do with it.
Tim is a friend of the family, and he has a genuinely good heart. He's spoken about this before, as he believes that if he's honest about his life that others who are dealing with the same issues won't feel so alone. At least he's finally comfortable with who he is as a person, and he's not trying to portray himself as something he's not...unlike a lot of other celebs out there!
ReplyDeleteCan't remember how long it's been...ten years? Twelve? It's actually possible to be celibate and happy.
ReplyDeletePapa!!!
ReplyDeleteComing up on 20 for me. I miss sex, but not all the baggage that comes with it, and I'm just not cut out for casual sex. I treasure my independence. Once you get past the intial withdrawal (yes, I went there) and evaluate your priorities (mine was my 3 kids) you reach a state where you can observe with disbelief some of the things other people do for sex.
ReplyDeleteLove him! I just hope that he is happy, whether or not he has sex in awhile. I wonder if he is insecure or has erectile problems? I didn't see the program, but it doesn't matter to me... just saying, he is handsome enough that if he wanted to pursue a sexual encounter, he probably wouldn't have much difficulty finding a partner! ;)
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine going one year, let alone 30. Wow. I don't have that kind of willpower, I'm afraid.
ReplyDeleteI used to know a man who was a sort of "spiritual advisor" type, and he was a truly incredible man. He would say that he was celibate for life as he didn't require sexual satisfaction. I envied his self-awareness, but HELLZ TO THA NO!
Celibacy is a choice, just like sexual orientation.
ReplyDeleteBeing celibate doesn't mean you're a mentally sick or restrained person.
Bravo for having the courage to state this!
Tim Gunn is a saint in my eyes, so good for him for being honest about his life. Everyone is different and some people just don't need sex in their lives.
ReplyDeleteFrom watching his interactions on Project Runway, I'll just bet he is a loyal and amazing friend to many people.
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ReplyDeleteI don't think it's that rare. Before meeting my now-husband, I went 15 years without sex. I knew a lot of other people who were in similar situations.
ReplyDeleteIt's not great being celibate, but after a certain point and enough experience you realize that it's better than going through a series of relationships or *shudder* casual sex.
In today's oversexed world and media, it's refreshing to have a prominent member of the media say out loud that there is more to life than lust.
ReplyDeleteI like that Tim Gunn is vocal about this, and I like that we're having this discussion. There seems to be an expectation today that sex is *expected* - that you can't go without for long. I've had dry spells in my life, as have most people I know. There's nothing wrong with that. We are all equipped with all the tools for pleasure ourselves, that we don't *need* sex with another person.
ReplyDeleteEnty, a relationship does not rest only on sexual performance. Relationships are just that - communication and love between two people. Sex is only one way of expressing it, and if sex is the only reason you're staying in a relationship, then you probably should use the tools I referenced above and go solo.
I actually caught him talking about it, he also said the Aids outbreak and everyone getting sick around him impacted him greatly.
ReplyDeleteAnd I understand completely sex should be a wonderful experience not spent worrying about if your partner has been honest about their past history...its a mine field out there.
It's been 4 for me....men have never brought me anything but heartache and pain. You think you're doing everything right but obviously I'm not cut out for this relationship business or something. I've developed severe trust issues also.
ReplyDeletemasterbation is wonderful.
ReplyDeleteTim is a sweet , lovely man. He may be asexual, it's possible to meet someone, like I assume he did in his past, and feel emotional love for them but not be all that interested in the physical aspects.
ReplyDeleteIf he was treated badly by his partner he may have been hurt to the point he just didn't want to go through the pain again.
In today's world taking care of your own pleasure is much healthier than doing it with someone you barely know.
i was never one for casual sex. a steady bed buddy yes, but no to a slew of sexual partners.
ReplyDeleteto thine self be true. asexuality does exist and there is nothing wrong with it.
Celibate is different than being a mysexual, right?
ReplyDeleteThis kind of makes him sexier. He is being true to himself and being honest about it. He could obviously have a sexual partner if he wanted one.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love gay men. I would soooo be his hag.
ReplyDeleteI love Tim Gunn, even more so after this interview. What kind of horrible man would do something so mean to him?
ReplyDeleteMy one of my BFF's wants me to have a ladies night at my house & have one of those adult toy parties...LOL...any of you ladies want to order anything from me? It might make those next 5-10 years go by faster! =) Oh, and Tim Gunn seems like a total sweetheart.
ReplyDelete@Cheryl, me too! Many years ago I went to cosmetology school. Many gay guys.
ReplyDeleteThey made the Best girlfriends in the world! They could critique hair, makeup, and clothes with the eye of a savvy woman but give great guy advice if you had boyfriend problems. Just the best.
I honestly don't think there's a man I love more.
ReplyDeleteLove the way he talks, laughs, walks, dresses, judges and scolds.
I'm watching Project Runway Allstars and it's not nearly as good without him.
ReplyDeleteIt's too bad that someone made him feel so bad about himself that it contributed to a 30 year celibacy.
And, bless you Sadie. You did the right thing, imo.
As long as he's happy, it's cool.
ReplyDeleteMy mom's been celibate since my dad died in 1996. As the years went by and she refused to date anyone (and she had offers) I thought it was weird, but I think now people can be really traumatized by relationships and bam...they're just done.
i love TG...and wow, that's some brutal honesty...never knew that about him. his stock just rose in my book. i'm glad he hasn't felt the need to settle. go him!
ReplyDeleteOn Project Runway he is very sincerely kind and compassionate. I love him.
ReplyDeleteI think it's great he said this publically. People need to know that it is okay to not have sex, and that they aren't freaks if sex simply isn't a priority in their life. It seems to me that too many young people today have sex way too soon in a relationshiip and view sex as a sport or a tool to manipulate others instead of as just one part of a total relationship. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go chase some kids out of my yard.
ReplyDeleteGood for him. Being celibate doesn't automatically make you a freak.
ReplyDeleteIf I wasn't married, I'd go this route. Like was said, I have other priorities that are much more important than getting laid.
Honestly? I like sex, but it isn't the be-all end-all many people think it is.
RocketQueen...
ReplyDeleteI've noticed that woman and men who have had good marriages don't seem to be any rush to get back out there when they loose a mate...
Don't care to hear details of his love life, but LOVE LOVE LOVE Tim Gunn! he is so one of my fantasy dinner party guests!
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of normal people are not terribly busy whoring around like some of these celebrities, not a bad thing
ReplyDeleteAwwww, Tim Gunn, I love you.
ReplyDeleteI would just love to adopt Tim as a family member. He seems like such a sweet person. How could anyone treat him like he was less then wonderful?? Tim give us the creeps name and we'll take care of the asshat for you.
ReplyDeleteTotally! I'd gladly become a man for him. He was always the best part of Project Runway.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful brave man.
ReplyDeleteFrom all of us who's sexual clocks have turned right off, thank you!
^^ too many Peak Freans/messed up hormones/insane stress...sex is seriously about as appealing to me as painting the acres of fence I have.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I love TG, and i love CDANers for the compassion, love and understanding here.
ReplyDeleteIt's better with love, but w/o love, leave it alone. Unless, you know, it just seems like the thing to do at the time, and you're mature enough to know you'll feel the same way in the morning.
The Revolution is a terrible show, and he should never have signed on.
ReplyDeleteI loooooove Tim Gunn. What happened his show where he mad people over?i always wanted to be not hat but not actually beon TV (I just want a Tim Gunn makeover and I have zero desire to meet most celebrities).
ReplyDeleteGood for him for saying this. As people abovehavenkted our society, media, tv etc is oversexed and we are taught to use sex as a tool or exercise or whatever when it should be about so much more (at least to start with. I am all about sexual experimentation but don't start that way, if that makes sense. Introduce yourself to sex when there is some sort of love involved).
Okay that could open up a fat can of worms but take it at face value, simply :)