An Open Letter To Bruce Jenner
Dear Bruce,
I know you have lived in Los Angeles a long time and are trying to stay young as long as possible. No matter what you do though, you are not going to bring back the glory days of 1976. Hey, you were king of the world. You were on Wheaties boxes and although I think Sugar Ray Leonard was the best athlete from the 1976 Olympic Games, I am not going to quibble over a cereal box.
The thing is Bruce, your sport is manly. Decathlon tests your manliness. It does not care how you look and at this point you look like a freak. No one ages naturally like that and when you go give your paid speeches, I think people are more interested in your freakish plastic surgery and step-daughters than they are in what you have to say. How do you even get your mouth to move at this point after so many surgeries? An athlete ages gracefully and has wrinkles and age lines are a part of who they are and what they endured. You don't see Muhammad Ali getting botox.
After watching more episodes of Keeping Up than is recommended by the Surgeon General and therefore I may get cancer, I also have wondered if perhaps in one of your many surgeries that some doctor accidentally cut off your balls. You really don't have any. I have never seen any person belittled and verbally abused like you are who just sits there and does nothing about it. If you are looking to inspire other people you may want to grow a pair or borrow your wife's because it is pretty pathetic what you allow yourself to put up with on a daily basis.
Enty.
P.S. Just in case you are curious, 40 year old Wheaties cereal tastes really bad.
P.P.S. Next time you get surgery, wait until the stitches are out before going out in public.
P.P.P.S. What size lingerie do you wear?
