Kenny G's Wife Can't Take It Anymore - Files For Divorce
20 years after they got married, Lyndie Benson-Gorelick has decided that enough is enough and filed for divorce from Kenny G. See, the way I imagine it is that back in the day when they got married, Lyndie thought it was really cool and sweet and romantic when Kenny would walk around with his sax all day and instead of talking, just use his sax to communicate. From the time she woke up until she went to bed it was sax all day and sax all night. After being married for a long time you don't want as much sax. Maybe you only want sax a couple of times a day. The rest of the time you would like some conversation. The problem is that despite being married for 20 years, Kenny just kept wanting sax and Lyndie finally gave in and filed for divorce.
Looking at his hair and semi bald head would be enough for me....
ReplyDeleteAre you saying he's a sax addict?
ReplyDelete@Momster - that was great!
ReplyDeleteHahaha!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of that Dutch (I think) girl who used to play sax for Prince. Candy Dulfer? Prince said "Whevere I want sax, I call Candy". And there was an UPROAR because people misheard...*L*
Um...WHENEVER. Too early for typing, apparently.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the repressed snickers she'd see when telling people she was married to Kenny G got to her.
ReplyDelete@Maja, I remember her. My then boyfriend (now husband) bought her CD (???). He claimed to like that kind of music (he didn't) and finally admitted it was because she was hot.
@Momster: He's a sax machine!
ReplyDeleteWhat a totally unattractive couple.
I'd def get tired of cleaning his hair out of the shower drain.
ReplyDelete20 years is a pretty good run of it, considering that his "music" makes me want to scream, slit my wrists, and/or smash something within 20 seconds.
ReplyDeleteYou really liked writing that one, didn't you, Enty?
ReplyDeleteThe wife accused him of being homosaxual.
ReplyDeleteOr he was bad in the sax?
She caught him in bed with Michael Bolton? They were giving each other weave jobs.
(GROAN - I know. Bad jokes).
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I guess he might still be popular with the adult contemporary music crowd but I hadn't heard about him in years, until he did that Katy Perry video. Yawnsville.
ReplyDeletenot trying to detract from the guy b/c, be it my thing or not, he has talent...but ooooh...i want dish on this sole custody petition thing.
ReplyDeleteWhile I am sorry for her marriage breaking up after 20 yrs with a child, on a totally superficial note she looks to have had some bad work done, like most other "celebrity" wives. Yeesh.
ReplyDeleteJust grow OLD and deal with it like the rest of us, famous people. GD.
You guys are so bad!
ReplyDeleteWhich one is the man?
ReplyDeleteShe looks like he hit her with his sax a few times over the years.
ReplyDeleteIt's like she had a reverse face lift, everything is pointing downward.
ReplyDeleteI really like her clutch.
Sax with Kenny G? Not enough coma-inducing drugs in the world for that.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, the sole custody issue is a lot of nothing. If you're smart, you try to get it, just so your not-so-friendly ex doesn't try to jerk you around. Take my word - you can always be reasonable about visitation, but you can't get sole custody back once you give it away.
Perhaps he needs some sax therapy. Lots of musicians use sax as a way to cope with hectic tour schedules, and of course there are always sax groupies around.
ReplyDeleteI concur on the really bad face work. Yeesh.
Okay, this post was hilarious. Well done, Enty.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, this man would be so much more attractive if he cut his damn hair. I get it's part of his schtick, but please. Just awful.
@Himmmm - beat me to the Bolton reference.
ReplyDeletePerhaps Kenny and Michael want to finally confess their undying love for each other. They're going to tell the world about their saxual chemistry. They are going to run off into the sunset to make beautiful music together, weaves blowing in the wind.
At what age is a man too old for long hair?
ReplyDelete@mikey. I say 10 years old :)
ReplyDeleteWalked past him at a Green Day concert in Los Angeles a couple years ago (he was with his kids). He gave me a dirty look for no apparent reason, and I've considered him an asshat ever since.
ReplyDeleteRocketQueen, I'm not a fan of the long hair either.
ReplyDeleteIf you are a surfer dude I'll let you have long hair into you 20's.
Love this! And all the comments as well.
ReplyDeleteShe probably found out about his girls on the side. He's a cheater and had a thing for Asian girls. He would meet them on tour and then give them his manager's office number. Trust me, I know.
ReplyDeleteAmazing post and comments!
ReplyDelete@Himmmm--LOL! I rarely use that phrase but I'm still laughing out loud re: "homosaxual" and "bad in the sax". Ha!
All I can think about is Kenny G having sex with Mr. Garrison on South Park.
ReplyDeleteForever in Love my ass.
ReplyDeleteApparently he holds the record for longest note held on a sax. He's in the Guinness Book of World Records, people. ;)
ITA about the long hair though. Yuck.