She's so gross. I mean, I get that she's a minor and being exploited by people who are even more gross than her... but I just can't with her. Why on earth does this poor child think that in 20fucking12 looking like an extra from a Poison video is a good look.
Funny or Die? So does that mean they'll die or us? How about these hilarious episodes next? Next on Donny Clay: The Casey Anthony Child Care Class followed by 50 Cent's Tips on Being A Humble Star Donny will wrap up his season with Chris Brown's 50 Ways to Beat Your Lover (music by Paul Simon).
Way to go Funny-Die guys! That's some really funny shit there. Ha. Ha. Why not just start a new site called "CREEPY as SHIT" ? I'm sure there's no end to the skits you can do there.
Her face is so unattractive. She's not even sexy, she's slutty. She's also always touching herself. She looks more like a porn model and anything. When she gets older and looks back at how she's acting, she'll be moritified.
I'm dissappointed Jason Alexander got involved in something with these 2. I don't understand this obsession with untalented people who need their 15 minutes or believe they have a get rich quick scheme by pimping themselves - the sad thing is it seems to be working for them. Either than are we are being Punked.
I was hoping it would be funny but it made me just as uncomfortable as everything else they do. Her constant twitching and shaking...there were a couple of spots where I thought she might actually have Parkinsons or something.
TRUE STORY TIME: The one and only time I ever met "The Courtney" in person. Several years ago I'm late for a meeting at the office of a producer. I'm all rushed to arrive and I blow past the assistant telling me to "wait". It's okay I profess - he's expecting me.
I open the doors and see this...blonde THING -standing in the office, in front of the desk of the producer (Tripp Vinson). She's all tarted up and attempting to do some sort of dramatic/traumatic audition quoting a line from Mommie Dearest or something. The blonde freezes stone cold when she sees me. (Crickets chrip and total silence).
HER: "Wow! I just LOVE your work! You're one of my all time faves, like, ya know?".
Tripp (keeping a straight face) says: "Go ahead Courtney, please continue." I look at the OTHER woman in the room who looks like a day shift stripper crossed with Dina Lohan. Is this her manager? Pimp? Social worker? Her eyes bug out and she starts to speak, nothing comes out. I see her fishing into her purse. (Is she gonna mace me?).
The blonde actress (ahem) continues torturing Tripp, delving into her Scarlett OHara act. I'm literally STUNNED, frozen, and totally in shock at the HORRIBLE sight before me. I'm thinking this is a prank from Bruckhiemer or Favreau or somebody. Is this happening?
Tripp interrupts saying: "Wow. That is just...wow. I honestly have never seen anything like it." She comes over to me saying that she's going to be a huge star someday and the next Meryl Streep.(!).
I'm biting through my lip to keep from laughing. Her Mom then chimes in: "Yes, and she's only THIRTEEN YEARS OLD!". I explode in a fit of coughing and crying. Excusing myself and collapsing on the couch. Tripp then says: "I just don't think you're really right for this part. It's not...worthy...of your...cornucopia of skills. Your buffet of talents would be wasted in this popcorn picture. Really!"
Courtney then gets irrate and mad into full tantrum mode. "I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! AND YOU'RE GONNA BE SORRY!". Her Mom stands up trying to coax her into calm. I'm still in shock, and Courtney says: "I'm gonna be the most famous star to ever LIVE! Bigger than Britney! OR even CHER!! YOU'LL SEE!".
Tripp then says (in his smooth way): "I'm sure you believe you will Miss Stodden. I also recall Charo, Tiny Tim, and Jedward were famous too. Big, BIG stars."
The blonde brat literally STOMPS out in her wobbly platform heels, and the mom walks to me and whispers:"Call me if you're interested in her...she's available for private parties too". (she winks and drops a card in my lap)!!!!
The doors almost cave in off the hinges they are slammed so hard. Tripp looks at me stone-faced. I'm beet red. We simultaneously EXPLODE in laughter, nearly choking to death. I ask: WHAT was THAT??". Wiping away the tears from his cheeks Tripp says: "Miss Courtney Stodden ladies and gentlemen. I'm sure we've not heard the last of her." ME: "Dude, is she REALLY thirteen? She looks like a 40 year old porn star!". TRIPP: "I have NO idea and don't wanna know. Too bad Don Simpson's dead - she'd be the next Sharon Stone!".
And that my friends was the first (and only) time I've ever met this...person. If only ambition was the same as talent. And FYI: I never called the Mom to see what she meant by her offer. But after leaving Tripp's office I went home and took 3 showers just to get the ICK off of me. Turns out she's at least as famous as...Charo.
Bigger than Britney or Cher? Bitch please, now I'm pissed. Britney and Cher have talent and charisma which you are born with IMO, this trailer trash porn star wannabe was not blessed in those departments. Urghhh, make it stop!
I simply loved it when Jason slapped peepaw. And then, over and over again. Loved it. It was more like "there you go America, you've been yearning for this one a while now. Enjoy!"
Love it when Himmmm shares! and if it weren't for the fact that she's under 18, I'd almost think it's Peepaw who is being used not the other way around. They are gross and I still don't think they've actually consummated the marriage.
That's a hell of a story, Himmmm, and I'm SO with you on the "needing 3 showers after Mama's offer" bit. *cringe* I almost feel sorry for Courtney--has she had this warped dream of CELEBRITY on her own since she was a tiny little girl, or did her parents plant that seed in her wee brain, nurturing it along until it burst into the monstrous bloom you saw that day? There's got to be a hell somewhere for stage parents who (metaphorically, and in this case, literally) pimp out their children, and the Stoddens need to be there, along with the Lohans, Joe Jackson, Kris Jenner, and way too many others for me to remember at this time of night. (And why the hell would Mama think that you'd want to "party" with her baby after you'd just finished damn near pissing yourself laughing at her antics? Delusional much? Or is even negative attention better than none at all?) Aaaaaack...I don't know if I need a shower, or just a really good dose of Brain Bleach (TM) to get the image you drew out of my mind so I can sleep tonight. *shudder*
Oh, yeah, but at least Charo's a pretty damn good flamenco guitar player, and if there's a joke involved, she's totally in on it...as opposed to Courtney, who (alas) IS a joke but doesn't realize it, and doesn't appear to have any actual talent or skills.
Just want to tell people who are not in the mood to watch, to really tough it out until the 3:50 mark.
ReplyDeleteJason will deliver to Peepaw what America has been dreaming of delivering! Amazing moment applies here!
Watched it yesterday, and 1) Well hot damn, they are good at making fun of themselves
2) I'm starting to question if they are fake! They looked a bit more real in that clip!
She's so gross. I mean, I get that she's a minor and being exploited by people who are even more gross than her... but I just can't with her. Why on earth does this poor child think that in 20fucking12 looking like an extra from a Poison video is a good look.
ReplyDeleteHer boobs actually look real there. Not as much padding as usual. However, her nips are so far to either side as to defy description.
ReplyDeletei just can't w/ this video...her hair..who teased it, and did they not have access to a mirror? o_O
ReplyDeleteShe needs to stop with the "sexy" twitching. Effing stand still for 2 bloody seconds.
ReplyDeleteShe is such a mess. Her mom really seems to be exploiting her though. As a mom I can't imagine....
ReplyDeleteI'm convinced- she's either a crack baby or is currently on crack.
ReplyDeleteFunny or Die? So does that mean they'll die or us? How about these hilarious episodes next?
ReplyDeleteNext on Donny Clay:
The Casey Anthony Child Care Class
followed by 50 Cent's Tips on Being A Humble Star
Donny will wrap up his season with Chris Brown's 50 Ways to Beat Your Lover (music by Paul Simon).
Way to go Funny-Die guys! That's some really funny shit there. Ha. Ha. Why not just start a new site called "CREEPY as SHIT" ? I'm sure there's no end to the skits you can do there.
amazing funny or die. up there with lindsays.
ReplyDeleteHer face is so unattractive. She's not even sexy, she's slutty. She's also always touching herself. She looks more like a porn model and anything. When she gets older and looks back at how she's acting, she'll be moritified.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I see her, I always think of Anderson Cooper making fun of her - the way she moves her mouth and all the twitching. Priceless.
ReplyDeletePathetic. She probably will need her grandpa/husband to explain the humor to her.
ReplyDeleteI'm dissappointed Jason Alexander got involved in something with these 2.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand this obsession with untalented people who need their 15 minutes or believe they have a get rich quick scheme by pimping themselves - the sad thing is it seems to be working for them.
Either than are we are being Punked.
I wonder how much twitching was edited out? You know that was hell! I was amazed she was being so still!
ReplyDeleteI am so disappointed in Will Ferrell & Adam McKay. Really, really disappointed.
ReplyDeleteI was hoping it would be funny but it made me just as uncomfortable as everything else they do. Her constant twitching and shaking...there were a couple of spots where I thought she might actually have Parkinsons or something.
ReplyDeleteI think it may have been funny if I weren't so distracted by her damned twitching/preening/posing or whatever the hell it is. Parkinson's indeed.
ReplyDeleteTRUE STORY TIME: The one and only time I ever met "The Courtney" in person.
ReplyDeleteSeveral years ago I'm late for a meeting at the office of a producer. I'm all rushed to arrive and I blow past the assistant telling me to "wait". It's okay I profess - he's expecting me.
I open the doors and see this...blonde THING -standing in the office, in front of the desk of the producer (Tripp Vinson). She's all tarted up and attempting to do some sort of dramatic/traumatic audition quoting a line from Mommie Dearest or something. The blonde freezes stone cold when she sees me.
(Crickets chrip and total silence).
HER: "Wow! I just LOVE your work! You're one of my all time faves, like, ya know?".
Tripp (keeping a straight face) says: "Go ahead Courtney, please continue."
I look at the OTHER woman in the room who looks like a day shift stripper crossed with Dina Lohan.
Is this her manager? Pimp? Social worker? Her eyes bug out and she starts to speak, nothing comes out. I see her fishing into her purse. (Is she gonna mace me?).
The blonde actress (ahem) continues torturing Tripp, delving into her Scarlett OHara act. I'm literally STUNNED, frozen, and totally in shock at the HORRIBLE sight before me. I'm thinking this is a prank from Bruckhiemer or Favreau or somebody. Is this happening?
Tripp interrupts saying: "Wow. That is just...wow. I honestly have never seen anything like it." She comes over to me saying that she's going to be a huge star someday and the next Meryl Streep.(!).
I'm biting through my lip to keep from laughing. Her Mom then chimes in: "Yes, and she's only THIRTEEN YEARS OLD!".
I explode in a fit of coughing and crying. Excusing myself and collapsing on the couch. Tripp then says: "I just don't think you're really right for this part. It's not...worthy...of your...cornucopia of skills. Your buffet of talents would be wasted in this popcorn picture. Really!"
Courtney then gets irrate and mad into full tantrum mode. "I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! AND YOU'RE GONNA BE SORRY!". Her Mom stands up trying to coax her into calm. I'm still in shock, and Courtney says: "I'm gonna be the most famous star to ever LIVE! Bigger than Britney! OR even CHER!! YOU'LL SEE!".
Tripp then says (in his smooth way): "I'm sure you believe you will Miss Stodden. I also recall Charo, Tiny Tim, and Jedward were famous too. Big, BIG stars."
The blonde brat literally STOMPS out in her wobbly platform heels, and the mom walks to me and whispers:"Call me if you're interested in her...she's available for private parties too". (she winks and drops a card in my lap)!!!!
The doors almost cave in off the hinges they are slammed so hard. Tripp looks at me stone-faced. I'm beet red. We simultaneously EXPLODE in laughter, nearly choking to death. I ask: WHAT was THAT??".
Wiping away the tears from his cheeks Tripp says: "Miss Courtney Stodden ladies and gentlemen. I'm sure we've not heard the last of her."
ME: "Dude, is she REALLY thirteen? She looks like a 40 year old porn star!".
TRIPP: "I have NO idea and don't wanna know. Too bad Don Simpson's dead - she'd be the next Sharon Stone!".
And that my friends was the first (and only) time I've ever met this...person. If only ambition was the same as talent. And FYI: I never called the Mom to see what she meant by her offer. But after leaving Tripp's office I went home and took 3 showers just to get the ICK off of me. Turns out she's at least as famous as...Charo.
*clapping* I just LOVE true stories!
ReplyDeleteLMAO @ "buffet of talents"
BTW...what part was she (attempting to) audition for?
ReplyDeleteGreat story! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteShe was hideous as ever in this, but didn't look as drugged up as normal.
I feel like Mommy said to her 'it's sexy if you run your hands up & down your body honey'
Awesome story, Himmmm...*LOL*
ReplyDeleteThose are so CLEARLY fake breasts...you can see the outline of the right one on several occasions, and you can see it tugging a la Vivica A. Fox boob.
ReplyDeleteAnyone who hires her/works with her is now being shunned by me...sorry, J.A....you're dead to me.
Seinfeld reruns don't count.
Bigger than Britney or Cher? Bitch please, now I'm pissed.
ReplyDeleteBritney and Cher have talent and charisma which you are born with IMO, this trailer trash porn star wannabe was not blessed in those departments.
Urghhh, make it stop!
I simply loved it when Jason slapped peepaw. And then, over and over again. Loved it. It was more like "there you go America, you've been yearning for this one a while now. Enjoy!"
ReplyDeleteI'm also extremely intrigued by the fact that Ms. Twitch recognized & is a fan of the person otherwise known as Himmmm. Hmmmm...
ReplyDelete@Rita - That's the part where I actually laughed!
ReplyDeleteGreat story Himmmm!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLove it when Himmmm shares! and if it weren't for the fact that she's under 18, I'd almost think it's Peepaw who is being used not the other way around. They are gross and I still don't think they've actually consummated the marriage.
ReplyDeleteI couldnt do it, it made me uncomfortable. The whole Im in the throes of orgasm/have to pee thing...
ReplyDelete@himmmm
ReplyDeleteThanks for that story, it was awesome!
My favorite moment: 2:45
ReplyDeleteThat's a hell of a story, Himmmm, and I'm SO with you on the "needing 3 showers after Mama's offer" bit. *cringe* I almost feel sorry for Courtney--has she had this warped dream of CELEBRITY on her own since she was a tiny little girl, or did her parents plant that seed in her wee brain, nurturing it along until it burst into the monstrous bloom you saw that day? There's got to be a hell somewhere for stage parents who (metaphorically, and in this case, literally) pimp out their children, and the Stoddens need to be there, along with the Lohans, Joe Jackson, Kris Jenner, and way too many others for me to remember at this time of night. (And why the hell would Mama think that you'd want to "party" with her baby after you'd just finished damn near pissing yourself laughing at her antics? Delusional much? Or is even negative attention better than none at all?) Aaaaaack...I don't know if I need a shower, or just a really good dose of Brain Bleach (TM) to get the image you drew out of my mind so I can sleep tonight. *shudder*
ReplyDeleteOh, yeah, but at least Charo's a pretty damn good flamenco guitar player, and if there's a joke involved, she's totally in on it...as opposed to Courtney, who (alas) IS a joke but doesn't realize it, and doesn't appear to have any actual talent or skills.
ReplyDelete