If you have been married to someone for 18 days then there are different rules of marriage compared to someone who has been married for over 12 years and children together. If you have been married that long I think you owe it to your spouse to tell them you are getting a divorce or you want a divorce or I would settle for a contemplating a divorce. Just tell them something. You can't just walk away and not say anything. You can't just leave the house one day acting normal and then later have TMZ report your divorce on their site and that be the first your spouse has learned of it. That is exactly what happened to Pilar Sanders and how she found out about Deion divorcing her. Of course considering she discovered some information about him, she probably kind of knew it was coming, but still. Man up and talk, don't slink.
Sad how we raised our boys to become men without honor. Not all of course, but how many men walked out on their families, because then want to be happy. As if the wife has been happy all these years honoring her vows, and taking care of you and your children.
ReplyDeleteThe ratio men to women leaving their families is still very low. And society will ostracize the woman so much more severely, in comparison to acknowledging that the man deserves his happiness. Of course, the woman does not, for what else was she raised for but sacrifice.
Sorry, this has happened to a LOT of my girlfriends and co-workers.
In case you are wondering, Deion filed for divorce about 10 days ago without telling his wife. TMZ got a whiff of the news and posted it. that's how she learned he left her.
almost like Matt Damon dumping Minnie Driver on Oprah...but worse..take him to the cleaner sweetie..
ReplyDeleteIt's disgraceful and childish for a grown man to behave like this
ReplyDeleteITA Rita. I don't think you have to stay together just for the children but it obviously shows the level of respect he has for his children and their mother by doing it this way.
ReplyDeleteWTF is wrong with celebrities, where they play by a whole set of different rules then us regular folks.
Agree. It also amazes me that women continue to breed with these men. Why would anyone have a kid, and multiple kids, with guys like this. We need to teach young ladies about presentation and how these men ruin families. You cannot count on child support. Too many broken families.
ReplyDeletewow! i don't remember about the Matt/Minnie thing... I am going to google it now.
ReplyDelete@Rita - very well said!
ReplyDeleteRound of applause for Rita. And this comes from a woman raised by just mom. Daddy skeedaddled.
ReplyDeleteAs my mom once said: "Men? They're no damned good."
ReplyDeleteCan we women make a pact to choose *good* men to procreate with? I'm getting tired of hearing about women's no-good ex-husbands who bail on their kids ... I have a hard time believing your man was perfect and then one day made a turn for the worse. Oftentimes, a woman knows going in that the man is no good but thinks she can change him ... then don't be surprised when he treats your kids as poorly as he does you. Let's try to choose better fathers for our kids.
ReplyDeleteSorry ... off my proverbial soapbox now.
I think the Matt thing happened on "The Tonight Show." He was dating Minnie at the time and was asked something about that relationship, like if he saw it long term or something, and he stated it was not. That was supposedly how Minnie found out he was not as into it as she was.
ReplyDeletemy mom found out she was getting a divorce when the divorce lawyer my dad hired sent a bill to our house for services rendered. Mom got to the mail first. She was compleltly blindsided, had no clue. (dad was having a mid life crisis)
ReplyDeleteLets just say that was an awkward day in the house. But they did eventually reconcile after my dad got over his crisis.
Not cool Prime Time.
ReplyDeleteDidn't they have a reality show at one point? Like 4 years ago?
What I find really ironic is, the ads under this post are the following.
Divorce Attorneys
Family Beach Vacation
Email Marketing
Stock Market
WTF?!
JoElla, I get an ad for a local polytechnic school! *L*
ReplyDeleteMinnie Driver said it wasn't true that she found out about her and Matt Damon breaking up via Oprah. He'd told her before then.
ReplyDeleteI don't think anyone who is unhappy should stay married. But this is just cowardly. Have the decency to tell her yourself.
I'm pretty sure Matt Damon was Oprah.
ReplyDeleteAgree Rita and Chopchop!!!
ReplyDeleteespecially this part:
"I have a hard time believing your man was perfect and then one day made a turn for the worse. Oftentimes, a woman knows going in that the man is no good but thinks she can change him ... then don't be surprised when he treats your kids as poorly as he does you. Let's try to choose better fathers for our kids."
THANK YOU! Women- let's NOT settle for the sake of marriage vows and/or children when your man is treating you probably along the same lines as how Deion treated his wife. I'm SURE she saw warning signs and ignored em for the sake of whatever. Agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY that this behavior will carry out onto the kids.
How about raising our little to become honorable men. Let me give you an example.
ReplyDeleteI love my younger brother, but needless to say, I was raised with a whole lot more responsibilities lying on my shoulders than he did.
When my brother was 17, he started seriously dating this girl. She was sweet, they looked to be deeply in love, we all liked her. She became part of the family.
A few years later, this chick starts hitting on my brother, and he falls for her. She knew he had a serious gf. My brother dumps his girlfriend via text, and starts dating the new girl.
The poor ex shows up at our house crying her eyes out, wondering what happened, for they were no clues, they were planning yet another get away together. You KNOW WHAT MY MOTHER SAID?
"It's important that he does whatever makes him happy."
Not whatever is honorable. But whatever makes him happy.
Jump a few years later, I was married. The now ex cheated. I couldn't get over it, and dumped him. Asked for a divorce.
Guess who my mother supported? Yep, the husband. Why? Because he's been calling her and crying that I left him, and even though he was still with his "mistress", he still loved me and wanted to work things out.
You would think my mother a sexist, or she doesn't love her children equally, you would be WRONG. Because for centuries, that is how women were raised, and that is how forgiving we are of men's assholistic ways.
Time to raise our boys to become honorable men Ladies, that would be the greater solution, for long-term equality.
And sorry for the passionate comments, I guess some subjects get the feminist in me all riled up.
Rita I 100% agree with you but so many men are wolves in sheeps clothing. They want the respect of being married but never actually want to make the commitment that it takes to be married.
ReplyDeleteWe live in a selfish, want what I want world.
@Rita
ReplyDelete*applause*
Geez @Rita, who could leave *you*? You're so cool! :-) hope you've found someone better since.
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone.
ReplyDelete@Timebob - yes, there are wolves in sheep clothing, but there would be a whole lot less of them if from the start, we had raised them right. Instead we have more and more men having children with too many different women (the ladies need to take responsibility here too).
And all this because of the Lil'Wayne syndrome. That jerk is a hero in his community for having so many children with so many different women.
@figgy awww thanks, but I dumped him. He thought he could have it both ways. I simply thought my way should be shoved up his ass.
ReplyDeleteWhat a truly sh*tty thing to do. It shows a complete lack of respect and regard for his wife and kids.
ReplyDeleteI hope she gets a good settlement to take some of the sting off his betrayal.
So what was the info she discovered about him? Is this a reveal?
ReplyDeleteSo what was the info she discovered about him? Is this a reveal?
ReplyDeletewell, i did this to my ex. i had told him several times, over many years, that i was unhappy and wanted to leave. he would not go to counseling and would not listen. he admitted in mediation (court ordered) that for the last few months we lived together his total daily contact w/ the kids and i was no more than 10 minutes a day (and often that was by phone). when i doscovered he was a closeted b-sexual transvestite i literally feared for my life and left. even now, over 2 years later, his family, our former neighbors, etc., do not know why i left. he insists he has no ida why i wanted to "break up the family". i mention this only because you can't ever know what goes on in someone's marriage. i tried, but obviously it was a wasted effort. i was just a beard. i can't imagine anyone waking up one day and thinking, "i think i'll end my marriage today. yeah, that's what i'm going to do". its usually a long time coming.
ReplyDeleteThis was a cowardly, shameful way for a man to treat his family.
ReplyDelete"They" say a man marries a woman hoping she will not change, and a woman marries a man hoping she can change him.
I feel I can speak with some authority on marriage, widowed at 20, married to a school mate who was a compulsive liar -divorced. Married a man who "needed me" not a good reason -divorced. I then decided not to marry again if ever, until I could figure out what I wanted, needed, and what my deal breakers were.
This should work for both sexes but I'm speaking mainly to women.
Know exactly and honestly what you will and will not put up with from a mate, and also what you will give. Is it religion? Is it kids, no kids, how to raise kids? Fidelity, honesty, family ties?
Once you know yourself, and you meet someone, ask questions while you can think with your head and before your heart gets involved.
How did they get along with their parents, siblings, do they love and respect their family? Watch how they treat others in social situations, do they think they are better than the person serving the meal? If you're just looking for a good time this does not apply, if you think the person is a possible mate I think it's your responsibility to choose with your eyes open. You will get what you get, they don't change.
I am happily married for the last 24 years, he passed with flying colors!
Sorry this was so long.
His daughter is claiming that she is lying about this, its on tmz now.
ReplyDeleteWow Rita..Del, how sad to be widowed at such a young age.
ReplyDeletemy mother always said, "Mejor sola que mal acompañada", better alone than badly accompanied". I get so upset with young people thinking having different "baby mammas" is ok, that having a child will guarantee you income for 18 years, and that not paying for child support is a badge of honor. Its all kinds of messed up!!
ReplyDeleteRita, Me and Del Riser - Thank you for sharing your stories!!
ReplyDeleteYou never truly know what goes on in a marriage, I completely agree.
Love it, Rita!!
ReplyDelete@ Rita .. your Mom's name isn't Audrey is it? My grandmother is just like this! Sorry you are suffering with this as well. Some women are just convinced any other woman in the world is a threat .. at least that has been how I have rationalized my relationship with my grandmother. Thank god my Mom [it is my mom's mom] is cool and supportive.
ReplyDelete@Rita,I agree with you. when I divorced my compulsive liar, his mother, who just loved me by the way, said "Oh honey, we all wondered how you could take it for so long".
ReplyDeleteHe would tell stories at family dinners that they all went along with and I believed and it was all lies. His mother said his lying had always been a problem. She never said a word to me about it. I ended up seeing a psychologist because I thought I was losing my mind. And finally blessed divorce.
I have a step son and I insisted on his respect for females. I also taught him to wash a load of clothes and to iron, and plan a decent meal. A man will have a healthier respect for "women's work" and the women who do it if they learn it themselves. They have to be taught to respect a women's "no". Without malice. A baby making fool is just that a fool.
Like you, oh, the stories I could tell.
Why is anyone surprised about this? As far back as the 1980s, every football fan knew Prime Time was all about himself at the expense of his teams. The same holds true of his family. It has ALWAYS been about him.
ReplyDeleteIMO, he made more mileage out of his mediocre talent than any modern athlete. He could not tackle, was a poor hitter in baseball, and didn't field particularly well. He was a good punt returner and interceptor and had fantastic speed, but the worst team player of his generation.
@Del Riser - I am so glad that gone are the days when the woman is solely blamed for her husband leaving her! Women feel responsible enough for too much already.
ReplyDelete@Wil - No, not Audrey, but oddly close! All this happened over a decade ago, and we're all over it. But that experience made me realize how we raise our sons vs daughters. And it actually pissed me off more when it happened to colleagues with children, who had been married for over 10 years.
@LisbethSalander - If we read the same TMZ report, then it was quite clear that Pilar's STEP-DAUGHTER calling her a "lying 'ho" (an obvious classy future candidate for those VH1 Flavor Flave shows), not her actual daughter with Deion.
What an incredibly crap thing to do. Coward.
ReplyDelete