When Jackie DeVita was dying of cancer she asked her sister to take care of her husband and kids and even gave her sister her wedding ring. Well, three months after Jackie died of cancer, her sister, Colleen married her former brother-in-law. At first, Colleen only agreed to help take care of the kids, but one thing led to another and Colleen married Jackie's husband.
I know most of you will probably think this is really sweet, but to me it is kind of creepy. Jackie and her husband were married for about 15 years before she died. So, basically Colleen was his sister for 15 years and then all of a sudden she becomes his wife. Do you think anything happened while he was married? Why did Colleen never get married?
Yeah, team creepy.
ReplyDeleteThat sure does look like a nice house in the background. Maybe his socioeconomic status helped things along.
My other thought on this is that the husband, in his grief, connected with the sister as the closest living thing to his deceased wife. Not the best way to build a relationship.
ReplyDeleteI think its creepy on one hand, but on the other, I can see how during a loved one's death things change. You see life differently, and these were the closest two people to her so they probably supported each other alot through the whole ordeal, which would bring them closer.
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me of that movie Brothers, where Natalie Portman sleeps with her husbands brother after they think he died in the war.
I don't think its something I myself would do, but I've never lost someone THAT close to me, so I don't want to pass judgement either. I can't say how I'd react in a situation like that.
Grief is very powerful and bonds people in different ways. Yes, sometimes sexual.
ReplyDeleteAn ex-coworker of mine her husband died suddenly and his brother moved in "to help" and they were sleeping together within weeks. Now that was creepy to me since he was sponging off of her financially. But she was happy so, who are we to judge.
I don't morally agree with it, but you can't say they were having an affair prior to her death.
I bet they're both in shock and floundering. People do stupid stuff in their grief. I married someone who I'd been dating for three months after some serious bad stuff happened in my life. Yep, we're divorced, but we did last longer than K+K. *a little*
ReplyDeleteThat happened in my family... sort of.
ReplyDeleteR always coveted her sister P's husband (my uncle). P decided she was a lesbian and divorced my uncle so she could live with a woman, so R promptly left her husband married my uncle, her former brother-in-law. The kids all stayed with their fathers, so R raised P's son as her own and had a contentious (to say the least) relationship with her own kids.
Oh, this happened in the 1950s.
To each their own, I guess. I read the article on MSNBC and it sounded like she got the blessing from her sister before her sister died.
ReplyDeleteWe know what happened: Colleen has been banging her brother in law for the past two decades. Jackie knew it and put up with the situation. Once she knew she was dying, Jackie just told them both to stop the ruse and make it legal after the funeral. Enough said.
ReplyDeleteIt's neither creepy nor lovely. It does seem rather sleazy.
I don't particularly find it creepy. To each his own.
ReplyDeleteI had neighbors that did the same thing. I don't think it has to be creepy, and I don't think it means they've been cheating for years. I think if you fall in love with someone, chances are their sibling shares many of the same qualities. They're all going through a dark time. If I passed away, I'd want someone I approve of to take my place, and raise my family.
ReplyDelete@Sevenmack What a nasty thing to say.
ReplyDeleteThis happened in my family too - my grandmother died young, of cancer, and two years later my grandfather married her sister. It wasn't a particularly happy marriage - they were both in love with the same dead woman - but a marriage it was, and it kept them from being lonely in their old age.
It should also be mentioned that what the DeVita's did is common in some Muslim cultures, where brothers frequently marry the widows of their deceased siblings, to ensure that the bereaved family is taken care of.
Nope, not really creepy to me. We don't know their situation. The youngest boy is obviously special-needs, so kudos for her stepping in, at least at first to help care for the kids. If that's she in the photo, then I'd say they are all happy as clams, so good for them!
ReplyDeleteLet people be happy. Life comes around in strange but wonderful ways if we live long enough and try to live a good life.
Back in the day, this happened a lot, especially in rural/remote places with low populations and a slim pool of suitable mates to draw from, and also because people died young.
If Sevenmack has the actual scoop, however, that's another matter.
ReplyDeleteBut they all still look really happy in this photo, so IMO it's their friggin' business...no pun intended.
The American Girl book series for Josefina has this stroyline. Josefina's mom died and Tia Carmen, her sister moved in to help and ended up marrying the dad. It used to be common practice in many cultures.
ReplyDeleteSeems strange to me. But to each their own.
ReplyDeleteMy great-great grandmother forced my great grandmother to marry my great grandfather after her sister died in the Spanish Flu epidemic ...
ReplyDeleteThere were 2 little boys and that's the way it was done back then....needless to say she was a very unhappy woman.
The first thing I said when I read the headline was, "Ewwwwww", so count me in on Team Creepy I guess.
ReplyDeleteI think it may have been the thought of marrying my BIL though. Ha
I don't think it's sweet but I don't know that it's completely creepy either. In older societies men used to marry their brother's wives if the brother died and that wasn't for love.
ReplyDeleteit's not unusual for men to remarry quickly after the death of their spouse. marrying her sister may not even be that uncommon, but yeah, i think it's a tad creepy.
ReplyDeletemaybe this woman had been in love with him for years and now they're finally together?
i wonder how the kids feel about this? shit, they just lost their mother and now aunt colleen has moved into her slot. weird??
My first boyfriend had an aunt who married her dead sister's husband. In fact, the husband brought the sister over from the old country after the first wife died, expressly to marry her. It's just odd.
ReplyDeleteWell, Nutty Flavor, I could be wrong. But families are funny things, and I've seen enough situations where in-laws get together. My apologies if you were offended.
ReplyDeleteUltimately, since it's really none of our business, however this came to pass doesn't really matter. I just hope this works out for the kids.
Marrying widows and widowers off to sisters and brothers has been around for thousands of years. Some religions/cultures even require it. It keeps property in the family and with people who are already emotionally invested.
ReplyDeleteNot to say it's not a little creepy, but then we're outsiders and don't know how this panned out on a personal level. I do know that I've never come to think of my in-laws as my own brothers or sisters, so I don't see it as particularly incestuous. Just sort of odd.
I also don't think it's appropriate for you to raise those suspicious questions with private individuals. They're not public figures, just a human interest story. Not appropriate at all.
When I was in high school, my sister and brother-in-law "joked" that he would marry me if anything happened to her.
ReplyDeleteThank god I hate them and live in another time zone. They are redneck enough to try to follow through with it.
Personally I'm not interested in marrying any of my brother-in-laws, but I hope it works out for them. I suspect there is more to the story, but I with them well.
ReplyDeleteStevie Nicks's only marriage was to the widower of her best friend, very soon after she died. Obviously the marriage didn't last long and they both have said it was out of grief, but it's kind of interesting that it is her only marriage.
ReplyDeleteThis is traditional Hebraic/Judaic custom. I'm surprise Jeff didn't know this, or perhaps just snark to get attention or he has a substitute blogger today.
ReplyDeletethis IS creepy! When my sister was dying, my brother-in-law actually told some friends he thought that he and I should get married to raise my sister's and his son!!!! I about barfed!!!!
ReplyDeleteHe apologized for his actions later, and I took them as a symptom of his grieving process.
I would like to add that when someone has cancer, they don't die overnight. My mum took 2 1/2 years to die. My dad dated someone 6 months after she died, and one of my friends mother's thought it was too soon. I pointed out that he had grieved for years while she was dying, and that I buried one parent, not two, and if I didn't have a problem with it, no-one else should either. My dad did everything for my mum when she was sick. He worked full-time, did all the yard and house work, and looked after her. I was living in a different city 2 hours away and working full-time, so I couldn't be there with them to assist. None of us are in a position to judge.
ReplyDeleteAly, who's Jeff? And I know of 2 occasions where this has happened in our immediate circle. My grandfather and his wife were best friends with another couple for 40 years. When my grandmother and the husband/friend died within months of each other, my grandfather married the wife/friend. We all said she kept him alive for another 20 years, although no one but my grandfather liked her. Another close friend of ours lost his wife to cancer 18 months after their wedding. He married their maid of honour, who had given the eulogy at the funeral, within 6 months and she was expecting a baby at that time. That one was difficult for all concerned, but a minister at the time said that while we had only begun mourning our friend at her death, her husband and best friend had been grieving ever since the initial diagnosis a year before, so by the time she died they were into another phase. Don't know how it turned out because my husband cut off contact, which I didn't agree with, but it was his friend.
ReplyDeleteI think it is safe to say that grief changes us and makes is act in sometimes irrational ways. It is probably a good idea to put off big life decisions until you are done with the grieving phase...
ReplyDeleteYeah, no judgment. Grief makes people do crazy things.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds creepy, but I could see it happening in my family if I died of cancer and my sister hadn't gotten married a few years ago. For many years, we were really, really close--my sister was a second mother to my kids, she came over every weekend to watch TV, eat, go to the movies, etc. And she and my husband were good friends. Eventually my sister met someone and got married. And so far as I know, I haven't got cancer! heh.
ReplyDeleteIt's a lot less creepy if you read the whole article. But yeah, I can't imagine marrying my own BIL. It sounds like her parents and the kids all had the blessing though. I think this is actually pretty common.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's creepy at all... Matter of fact, I wouldn't be here if my great-grandmother hadn't married her deceased sister's husband. The first couple had kids, and then my great-grandmother had a couple of kids with him, too. My grandmother used to call her own mother "Aunt ____", because that's what her older siblings/cousins did!!
ReplyDeleteewwwwww! how confusing to the kids. whatever the adults want to do is fine when its just them, but the kids lost their mom 3 months before dad replaces her??? not cool.
ReplyDeleteNecrophilia much? My question is do you think he ever calls the current wife by the old wife's name?
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's that bad, but I think they could've held off on the marriage for a while out of respect if not prudence.
ReplyDeleteUm wait now, necrophelia??? She doesn't look dead to me...
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ReplyDelete"I know most of you will probably think this is really sweet..."
ReplyDeleteEWWWWWWWWWWWWW
And
EWWWWWWWWWWWWW
I would never marry my bro-in-law.
Yuck Yuck Yuck
It's not incest, but...
I know I could never array my BIL, but he's known me since I was 2 or 3 (my sis is 16 years older then I am). So that would just be...odd.
ReplyDeleteBut my great aunt (my dad's aunt) married her last husband a few months after her previous husband and his previous wife died. They had known each other for years. His son finally admitted at her funeral 7 years ago that my aunt probably kept his father alive for a few more years than he would have had. She (in her late 70's/early 80s) took care of him at their place until he died.