Ted C Blind Item

People have a right to live their lives, let's be clear about that. And that's why we do not out gay stars at AT, never have, never will.

But when matinee idols like Toothy Tile and Fey Oil-Tush choose to involve other, non-gay folks in their clandestine lives, it changes the rules.

For instance, Crescent Kumquat's latest beard was beginning to wonder why the heck the handsome star never laid a finger on her in private. Well, she just found out the reason the hard way:

When the gorgeous, tall stunner Crescent had been parading around to parties just happened to hop over to her man's place to surprise him (and she found that he was not only home, but, the place was pretty open). Only it was she who got the shock when she walked in on Crescent having sex with a dude!

And not just a little petting or oral action, either, babes, Crescent was right in the middle of getting done to him what the gorgeous, real-blonde chica had wished he would do to her!

Now, we gotta say we're starting to wonder just how much dope Crescent's doing these days, because not even outlandish sex Vice Super-stars like Toothy and Crotch Uh-Lastic take this many chances—you know, like leaving the house wide open while getting it on with a guy inside.

But then who'd have thunk the gf would come over for a surprise? Well, all the more reason to actually give these beards a little lovin' once in awhile, boys. Ya know, so they're not so damn horny!

But the discarded chica does get the last laugh, we must note. Won't be getting that nasty social disease Mr. Kumquat's known to have, whew!

Wonder if that latest blondie CC's been out with will be as lucky?

AND IT AIN'T: Tom Sturridge, Charlie Sheen, Robert Pattinson