Tor Spelling is playing her own version of blind items with her latest blog post. I am not sure why she cannot say the name of her date. I mean was the guy married then? Was Tori seeing someone? Anyway, as the stori (like how I did that?) goes, Tori says this was by far the worst date of her life.
If you can get over her need to tell us how he picked the best place and was the best looking guy ever and that she uses words like she went to Ted Casablanca High School and got her Masters while studying Twilight novels then you can get to the funny stuff. Seriously. I am sparing you. If you want to read the whole unedited version then click here.
But before I could ask, "What are you going to order?", he announced, slamming down his menu, “I'm not very hungry. What do you say we just get drinks?" What? Was this really happening? Was braised lamb shank not in my future? I weighed the heavenly bone marrow against his perfectly chiseled jaw and adorably prominent dimples and replied, "Sure.” I then selfishly prayed for breadsticks that would never come. He ordered us both Rum and Cokes. Oh no! I was a wine girl. I didn't usually drink hard alcohol. But, I had to act cool, so I went with it.
Well, four rum and cokes and two hours of a one-way conversation later, I was way too drunk and bored. Did he want to know anything about me? I was feeling sick. Actually, the room started spinning at this point, as he went on and on about how David Charvet robbed him blind from what would have been his breakout role on "Baywatch." When suddenly his dimples started floating up on his forehead I knew I had to find a bathroom and quick. I excused myself from the riveting conversation and bolted for the bathroom. I just kept telling myself, “Don't make eye contact with the restaurant patrons, or their amazingly delicious meals, and walk straight.” Then, I saw it, the door. The bathroom door! Five more steps, and I'd be safely in a bathroom stall where I could puke my guts out in privacy. Classy, I know. I pushed open the door, smiled with victory, and walked right into...the kitchen. Oh no!
The whole kitchen staff looked up at me. It was bustling and I was busting. I put my hands up to cover my mouth, but I knew it was too late. A waiter rushed over with a massive copper saucepan where I proceeded to vomit the four rum and cokes and the cliff bar I had had at 11am into it.
She then asked her date to go home because she was not feeling well. He then tried for a good night kiss, got rebuffed and then called two weeks later trying to get an audition for a new series her dad was producing. I would like to know who the guy is just because she goes on and on and on and on and on about how good looking he was.
But before I could ask, "What are you going to order?", he announced, slamming down his menu, “I'm not very hungry. What do you say we just get drinks?" What? Was this really happening? Was braised lamb shank not in my future? I weighed the heavenly bone marrow against his perfectly chiseled jaw and adorably prominent dimples and replied, "Sure.” I then selfishly prayed for breadsticks that would never come. He ordered us both Rum and Cokes. Oh no! I was a wine girl. I didn't usually drink hard alcohol. But, I had to act cool, so I went with it.
Well, four rum and cokes and two hours of a one-way conversation later, I was way too drunk and bored. Did he want to know anything about me? I was feeling sick. Actually, the room started spinning at this point, as he went on and on about how David Charvet robbed him blind from what would have been his breakout role on "Baywatch." When suddenly his dimples started floating up on his forehead I knew I had to find a bathroom and quick. I excused myself from the riveting conversation and bolted for the bathroom. I just kept telling myself, “Don't make eye contact with the restaurant patrons, or their amazingly delicious meals, and walk straight.” Then, I saw it, the door. The bathroom door! Five more steps, and I'd be safely in a bathroom stall where I could puke my guts out in privacy. Classy, I know. I pushed open the door, smiled with victory, and walked right into...the kitchen. Oh no!
The whole kitchen staff looked up at me. It was bustling and I was busting. I put my hands up to cover my mouth, but I knew it was too late. A waiter rushed over with a massive copper saucepan where I proceeded to vomit the four rum and cokes and the cliff bar I had had at 11am into it.
She then asked her date to go home because she was not feeling well. He then tried for a good night kiss, got rebuffed and then called two weeks later trying to get an audition for a new series her dad was producing. I would like to know who the guy is just because she goes on and on and on and on and on about how good looking he was.
James Marsden?
ReplyDeleteI'm still laughing at Ted Casablanca High School.
ReplyDeletegood guess MommaSaid
ReplyDelete"...I weighed the heavenly bone marrow against his perfectly chiseled jaw..."
ReplyDeleteenty, you did not just spend all that blog real estate to write about tori spelling...*headdesk*
but i digress. i am thankful it's not a post involving lardashians or hiltons.
Mario Lopez?
ReplyDeleteIt's a great story; too bad she's such a skeez.
ReplyDeleteDimples? Eddie Cibrian?
ReplyDeleteGreat guess, Vicki!
ReplyDeleteI say Antonio Sabato Jr...if he was saying how he got robbed of a Baywatch role..he would have to be a little older than James Marsden
ReplyDeleteEddie Cibrian was the first one to pop into my mind, for sure!
ReplyDeleteI wonder how long ago this was?
ReplyDeleteI'm with the Eddie Cibrian guess.
ReplyDeleteEddie Cibrian. Definitely. Cute dimples....for a douchebag.
ReplyDelete@Big Mama - Her blog post says it was when she was in her 20's, so the 90's.
ReplyDeleteI think the Eddie Cibrian guess is a good one. The blind said he went to high school with her best friends (they are the same age) and was a jock (he played football in HS).
The story is pretty hilarious...and I guess Eddie has always been a Db.
Per imdb, Cibrian was on an episode of 90210, and he was on Baywatch Nights. He was also on Aaron Spelling produced Sunset Beach with her brother Randy. Great guess.
ReplyDeleteOk - after some research I am convinced it is Antonio Sabato Jr. Right age, went to Beverly Hills HS with Tori and was on Melrose Place in 1995(audition begging). He was quite the hottie back in the day after the Janet Jackson video.
ReplyDeleteI'm on the Cibrian train as well.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised--she is actually quite funny! Writes well. Oh boy, now I may have to check out her blog...
ReplyDeleteRight Trix?? I think we r right!!!
ReplyDelete"let's just have drinks" aka I'm too cheap to pay for dinner.
ReplyDelete