Ted C Blind Item

Forget Ashton Kutcher and whatever tabloid allegations have him tweeting mad today.

'Cause we've got a Vice star that we know can't keep it in his pants, much to the dismay of his poor partner and kiddos. Yep, Chubster Hunkster—who's looking less hunkster and far more chubster these days—is back and still sneaking around.

Thing is, he's starting to get nervous. Real nervous:

'Cause one of his chicks on the side is ready to blab.

So Chub did what every good stud worth his star power would do: he lawyered up. And Mr. Hunkster's legal team told that gal if she even breathed in the way of the tabloids, they'd sue her for every penny she's worth.

And trust, these are not the kind of lawyers you wanna mess with.

So the broad did what most other sensible peeps would do: she shut up and disappeared. And Chub can keep on with his cheating ways.

But for how long?

This par-tick chick wasn't the only one whispering about Chubster's inclination towards infidelity. It's only a matter of time before his extramarital bed hopping gets back to his gorgeous honey.

Or worse, the press.

Stupid P.S.: Why do men cheat with not-exactly-knockout stripper types when they've got goddesses at home?

I know, I know, stupid question.

And It Ain't: Ben Affleck, Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum