Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher is having some trouble in paradise.
But at least she'll have someone to commiserate about her romance troubles with ‘cause, in case you didn't know, she's practically besties with Carmelita Salami-Climber. And rightfully so, they're cut from the same juicy pig, if you catch my drift.
Well, while Carm thinks she's in BF heaven, Carol is in relationship hell...
‘Cause her man is fed up with her BS.
See, Carol's guy actually really loves her. Like, over the moon love. Adorable, right?
We don't see much true love in the Vice vault.
And while Carol says she totally hearts her dude right back, she can't seem to stop her very flirtatious ways. Ya know, like when she brings her guy to swanky T-town shindigs and spends the whole night letting strangers paw at her very enviable assets. All while her poor schmuck of a partner watches on.
Well enough is enough, and Carol Anne's man pulled her aside at a recent party for what he thought was a private conversation.
Unfortch, Carol got all dramatic (per usual) and made a scene. Now everyone's watching to see if the formerly so-happy couple busts up.
And we wouldn't be surprised if they split, like, tomorrow. It's getting that bad.
And It Ain't: Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Aniston
I'm going with Kourtney and Scott. That whole "cut from the juicy pig" (eeeeeeeewwwwwww) part made me think that it's one of Kim's sisters -- and I love Khloe, but I don't think dudes necessarily "paw at her assets."
ReplyDeletewhy even mention Lindsay ? Is there a man stupid enough to love her ?
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ReplyDeleteI thought Carmelita Salami-Climber was Salma or Penelope so I'm going with which ever one Carmelita is not.
ReplyDeleteCarmelita is TOTALLY supposed to be Kim. Google the nickname and read the blinds -- Ted makes it beyond obvious.
ReplyDeleteYeah, Carmelita is totally Kim. I didn't realize Kim had any friends other than her sisters and her sex tape?
ReplyDeleteIf Carmelita is Kim I have trouble with Kourtney as Carol. Sisters are more than "practically besties". More importantly, while I could see Kim misbehaving in front of her boy toy nonenity, I always thought that Scott seems controlling of Kourtney.
ReplyDeleteOne of the other suggestions for Carmelita was Jennifer Aniston which might make Chelsea Handler as Carol. She's asserive and known for bad behaviour but I'm not sure if she has a BF at the moment.
Kendra? Kim is carmelita and they are both cut from the same pig (e!)
ReplyDeleteOr another e! Star
The first Carmelita BV said she was a reality star turned personality who fucked kanye west for shoes....... Kim k
ReplyDelete@Katie~good guess.....i think you may have it
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ReplyDeleteKatie...awesome guess.
ReplyDeleteKhloe K?
ReplyDeletethough i do like Katie's guess i am going to have suggest LaLa Vasquez.......just a thought....
ReplyDeleteKris & Bruce
ReplyDeleteif carmelita is kim, perhaps carol anne is her mom?
ReplyDeleteI sooo need to buy a black board so I can diagram Teddy's blind's. : /
ReplyDeleteI really like Katie's guess, except that all the "nots" are actresses.
ReplyDeleteParis Hilton? Are she and Kim still friends?
ReplyDeleteI like the Kendra guess the best! Also am liking the lala vasquez guess as well
ReplyDeleteTed's blinds are a little too much for me let's cut down all the nonsense and just lay out the facts!
Hmm??? this is a good one... When they say, "Cut from the same pig", I'm thinking piggy bank...money! So they both have to have the same careers. Hmm?? I would love for this to be khole, but I dont think lamar would take that from her.
ReplyDeleteSo i'm guessing either LALA Valuqez(sp?) or kris jenner...
First person that came to mind for me was Eva Longoria. Her and Kim K are close and tweet about time spent together. But the pig thing got me thinking about Kourtney K because she has admitte dto plastic surgery on her breast whereas I'm denies any work. But the bf thing is throwing me here and I don't think Scott really loves her. But this is all contingent on CSC being KimK. I disqualified Khloe simply because her best assetts are her legs and most guys don't find her attractive. But hey, I really don't know.
ReplyDeleteIt's Kim K and Lala. Let's hedge our bets now on whether tomorrows wedding actually happens..
ReplyDeleteParkerNosey - I thought of Longoria just from the description, but I didn't know she and Kim were friends. Since they are, I definitely think it's her. Lala would fit, but I don't think she's well known enough for Ted to care.
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ReplyDeleteI think this is Kris Jenner. Both of the names in the blind start with a "C", just like Kim and Kris start with the same letter. Khloe and Kourtney are excluded for reasons previously stated.
ReplyDeleteI think Carmelita is LaLa and carol is Kim K. that makes more sense to me and they both are married to basketball players now
ReplyDeleteCarmelita is DEFINITELY Kim, and my first thought was Lala for the other
ReplyDeletemonica in friends
ReplyDeleteand jennifer the pig is the show friends and the guy is the arquette
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