National Enquirer Blind Item
THIS girl-next-door actress better hold on tight to her rosary beads because her new beau’s buddies are into sex rituals, witchcraft and devil worship! The star has been trying to kick her goody-two-shoes image for years, but she has no idea about this guy’s dark side! Who is she?
As long as no animals get their throats slit, I personally couldn't care less if people participate in Satanism...
ReplyDelete...and I'll bet Aniston is too perpetually stoned to notice the Anton LeVey tribute parties going on in her backyard, anyhow.
Who's a famous, unmarried, practicing Catholic? The mention of rosary beads makes me think it's someone who's somewhat devout. Would Aniston be Greek Orthodox, I wonder?
Ida - Anniston has satanic parties in her backyard?
ReplyDeleteAs a pagan myself, I urge this to be taken with a grain of salt.
ReplyDeleteThat said, yes, I think Aniston is Greek Orthodox.
@SusanB -- She does, indeed. And she keeps inviting me to them, but I always have prior obligations.
ReplyDeleteThis blind feels like it was written by my grandmother's next-door neighbor. "Devil worship?" Give me a break.
ReplyDeleteEva Longoria held a rosary at her wedding to Tony. Isn't she still dating Penelope Cruz's brother?
ReplyDelete@Ida - wow. Just wow.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say that Eva or Jen would be considered as having a goody two shoes image. Thinking someone younger.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking Jessica Biel, but I think she shook that goody two shoes image awhile back.
ReplyDeleteAlso thinking Meg Ryan and Johm Mellencamp, but if we are thinking younger I guess she wouldn't work.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Amber Tamblyn from Joan of Arcadia??
ReplyDeleteGirl next door makes me think Elisha Cuthbert....but JT kind of trashed her reputation in "What Goes Around Comes Back Around", no?
ReplyDelete@Patty -- I think you might be right. Jen A's Girl-Next-Door rep probably died over ten years ago. But she came to mind first because her boyfriend is fairly new, looks pretty shady, and I can see a bunch of Manhattan hipsters exploring Satanism just to be ~edgy~ and ~cool~. I mean, the dude DOES hang out with Terry Richardson. ;-) And she's an obvious blind item target, for sure.
ReplyDelete@SusanB -- Not my fault you can't grasp sarcasm. Jeeeeebus.
@CridChild- ITA!
ReplyDeleteWhen I read this I was sorta pissed that between sex rituals and devil worship they squeezed in witchcraft!
Umm, it is such a pet peeve of mine that paganism and wiccans are still fucking painted with the same ignorant fear based hate that it has been for centuries.
As an atheist there are many many religions I dislike BUT pagans and wiccans I respect for so many reasons, the reverence they have for the Earth is merely one of them.
Thanks Jasmine! I have mostly given up fighting the dogma, but this just sounds silly. Agree with what Shiny said.
ReplyDeleteAlso, what's so bad about a little sex ritual between friends. *wink*
@Jasmine -- "As an atheist there are many many religions I dislike BUT pagans and wiccans I respect for so many reasons, the reverence they have for the Earth is merely one of them."
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. I know two people who are practicing Wiccans, and they're intensely private about it, given how some people here in the 'Belt tend to percieve religions that don't involve The Bible and Sunday morning worship.
But they are completely pacifist and utterly kind people.
I wrote and erased, wrote and erased, and then decided not to touch this one with a ten foot pole *L*. Religion fascinates me. That is all.
ReplyDeleteWhat Jasmine said.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you Maja. I'm not touching religious posts anymore. Just lost a friendship over religion. Sometimes it's best to keep your mouth quiet. Religious people are HARDCORE.
ReplyDeleteI'll guess Christina Ricci.
ReplyDeleteThere might even be Wiccans on this very website.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI'm a Christian and I know better than to say anything. But I will say this, if you think Jennifer Aniston is NOT the quintessential girl next door at age 40, you can bury your head back in the sand. Same goes for Sandra Bullock too. No matter how many sex tapes.
ReplyDeleteI like Wiccans a whole hell of a lot better than most of the hypocritical holy rollers that I know. And as long as this chick's new beau's sex rituals don't involve alter boys then he's doing better than a lot of Catholic priests that have been in the press lately.
ReplyDeletePenelope Cruz has a brother? I'll bet he's pretty.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI just wanna compliment everyone who commented on this thread. Religion is a touchy issue, and I'm happy to see people NOT freaking out for once. I don't believe it's necessary for everyone to agree, and I hate when discussions spiral into non-productive bitching and mud-slinging. (I'm not strictly talking about this forum, btw, I mean any discussion, anywhere.)
ReplyDeleteI also gotta say that I'm impressed with the open-mindedness and spiritual maturity of some comments here. I could have been more elaborate with my earlier comment but chose not to because I didn't think anyone would understand where I was coming from. Wow, was I wrong, and that makes me happy. I'm glad to see that more people seem to be aware and respectful of alternative spiritualities. Sadly, I'm more used to people being like the writer of the blind, who, in my mind, has no such maturity or nuanced understanding of alternative spiritualities. I mean, come on, "Devil worship"? Really? That sounds like someone who's watched Rosemary's Baby too many times. As Ida said, I can see some rich hipsters experimenting with dark philosophies/practices to be cool or "edgy." But I highly doubt it's "Devil worship" in the sense the writer of that blind seems to mean it. The ignorance irritates me.
So, back to my original point: Yay for CDAN readers! Good peeps here.
And @Hoosierlady: She does, and he is. I think his name is Eduardo, and he's dreamy.
Wow, shiny, way to let the air out of my "all religions suck satan's taint" comment.
ReplyDeleteAs a recovering Christian, all I can say is that the best people I've ever known were atheists and the worst I grew up with in the church I went to back home. Religion is the downfall of humanity.
Damn, meant to add a :P so people would know I was joking! D'oh!!!
ReplyDeleteStill not touching the religion aspect - trying to be more open-minded to that stuff before I lose ALL my friends. LoL.
ReplyDeleteI do have another guess - Hayden Pannetiere!!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLMAO, AMD!!!!
ReplyDeleteI think religion and spirituality are two different things. A lot of people focus on religion, but imo spirituality is more important.
Religion works great for a lot of people, and good for them. But it doesn't work for everyone, And THAT'S OK.
That said, I respect a person's right to NOT be spiritual too. What's most important, at least in my opinion, is to have a sense of respect. For yourself, for others, for life and for the planet. And striving for improvement, evolution, etc. is good too. :)
Back to the OT: Who's Jennifer Love Hewitt dating these days? Though she might be a little too old at this point. If Katie Holmes hadn't married Tom Cruise I might say it's her. Ugh. I got nothin. :-/
ReplyDeleteSo I bet the pig roasts at this girls place are REAlly interesting.
ReplyDeleteSorry! My inner smart ass made me write that.
I am tired of people having no tolerance for other religions. I work with a man; who when I defended other religions; ranted how I was not a good Christian. I asked who died and sat him at the right hand of God. Intolerance of others religion, especially where the main theme is Harm None, makes me sick.
Wow! I have no idea who the blind is about, but as someone who has been actively Pagan for well over 20 years, I certainly appreciate all of the support and open-minded discourse on the topic of Paganism vs. Satanism here. Just a tidbit for those who may not realize: Satan is a part of the Christian pantheon and belief system, so Pagans certainly would not be into that. Yes, there are those silly wanna-bees who say they're into "Satanic witchcraft" for the shock value (or because they feel small and think this sort of thing will make them powerful in some way), but no self-respecting believer in Earth-based spirituality would ever claim Satan for their team. :)
ReplyDeleteCDANers are great. I am so used to dodging religious conversations because I study a philosophy that is different (I am a Taoist) So I love the attitude that's showing - Thanks guys, you rock.
ReplyDeleteCloseted Wicccan here! I am also very apreciative of how open minded everyone has been so far.
ReplyDeleteSatanism is not the same as witchcraft-paganism-wicca!
The higher power has names and room for everyone anyways, specially the ones who respect eachother.
I'm thinking that Aniston, Love Hewatt and Longoria are not close to girl-next-door actresses.
ReplyDeleteSounds fake even for NE.
ReplyDeleteI think it would be a nicer world if we could have rational, civilized discourse about the nature of religion, and the differences between our many organized religions, but people are just too touchy and defensive about what they think is going to keep them from going to hell. And their own hypocrisy, since many self-avowed religious people aren't very nice to other people, or particularly moral. Not all, of course. But definitely a lot, based on my experience.
ReplyDeleteBut we weren't going to talk about religion. My bad! : )
What is Bieber's gfs name?
ReplyDelete