Apparently there are more people than I thought who enjoy not peeing in actual bathrooms while on planes but will pretty much Verne Troyer anywhere they go. Last week on a Jet Blue flight there was that Olympic skier who decided that peeing on the leg of an 11 year old girl was preferable to actually getting up and using a bathroom and this week, on an Air France flight, Gerard Depardieu decided that he would just stand in the middle of the aisle and let his urine fly.
Gerard had been drinking and got on a flight. He then told the flight attendant that he needed to use the bathroom. She said he would have to wait 15 minutes until the bathroom doors were unlocked after takeoff. He said no, and got up and peed in the aisle. The plane returned to the jet bridge where it stayed for 2 hours so Gerard's mess could be cleaned. Since it was in France and he is their chosen God, they will probably laugh it off and do nothing and not even send him a bill, let alone have him arrested. The rest of us? We would probably be accused of terrorism.
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
ReplyDelete^^^^ especially when you are drunk, and can't remember that you should hold your wee wee water until you find a potty, since it is uncouth to drop trou and peepee on the floor like a doggie.
ReplyDeleteHis poor old bladder just couldn't handle it...
ReplyDeleteThat settles it: it's strictly trains and boats from here on out. Fuck flying.
ReplyDeleteLainey had a great take on this incident -- how some dudes don't even consider looking for restrooms; they often just whip it out and pee ANYwhere, anytime they feel like it. I wish *I* could pop a squat whenever I want, but noooooo, it's gotta be toilets for me since I'm ~female~ all all. *pouts*
And what IS IT with drunken men who forget where the toilet is?! I feel as if every dude I know peed in a closet at least ONCE during his college years. Heck, I even know a kid who was so wasted that he CRAPPED in a LITTER BOX.
"Since it was in France and he is their chosen God..."
*wrinkles nose in disgust*
French folks, PLEASE chime in and tell me that you hold Cathy Deneuve (among other French thespians) in higher regard than this douche. Please.
I guess peeing inappropriately on a plane is the latest fad.
ReplyDeleteMen behaving like drunk toddlers.
i'm french and when my boyfriend is very very drunk,he pees on the flowers
ReplyDeletesorry i think it's funny even if i 'm happy not to be in the plane
So Dlist says peeing on a plane is a thing now. Gross.
ReplyDelete@Ida...technically you COULD pop a squat anywhere you wanted, but you would be arrested ;)
ReplyDelete@Chrissy -- Unfortunately, women can't do that two-shakes thing than most men have nailed since toddlerhood. ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh, and it WOULD suck to get arrested for whizzing in public. God, what a lame reason to go to the pokey!
When I was very pregnant - 2 weeks overdo - I was in the car and I just couldn't make the last 2 miles home. I pulled over on my very country road, ran in the woods, proceeded with my task and then I see the State Trooper lights flashing behind my car. When I waddled out he was more embarassed than I was.
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine actually got fined for peeing! Did he let you off, Mikey?
ReplyDeleteI'm in New York...you wouldn't believe what men & women do in the street...
ReplyDeleteIf Jerry Lewis did it the French would consider it art!
ReplyDelete@Ia, i know what you mean. and wigglin' your bottom doesn't cut the mustard.
ReplyDelete@Mikey, that is an AWESOME story! hahaha! i have many pregnancy tinkle stories from my twins time in the oven!
I will give him a permanent pass due to the loss of his son from drug abuse.
ReplyDelete@Aly -- would you give that same "permanent pass" to the eighteen year-old boy who just pissed on a little girl if he had similar circumstances?
ReplyDeleteGrief doesn't give you an excuse to behave like a total asshole in public.
Yah, we can't just be allowing people to pee everywhere if they have lost a loved one. There would be pee everywhere. Then there would be the entitled a-holes that have lost someone who will start shitting everywhere. No way.
ReplyDeleteThey shouldn't have let him on that plane to begin with if he was already that drunk. Also, do you really have to wait for 15 minutes after take off to be able to use the toilet? Can't they just have safety belts on the loo as well? If you gotta go you gotta go. Imagine if you suddenly have a case of diarrhea because you ate something bad at the airport. I think it's stupid not to let people on the toilet if they really have to go.
ReplyDeleteJust because Depardieu couldn't use the toilet all of the other passengers were forced to delay their flight for 2 hours or even more.
That's when I would be pissed.
@Ida - Not that part, but the alcoholic episode. I don't forgive that part, but the awful life and death suffered by his son from even before birth do the prescription drugs the ex-wife was given. Def not the urination in public part. ITA with Mina that he never should have been permitted to board the flight. I've read some articles and interviews about Guillaume Depardieu.
ReplyDeleteGerard DeparDONT.
ReplyDeleteAh, hello, DEPENDS!
ReplyDeleteA few years ago, walking out of my office building, I saw a homeless person lean up against the wall, lift her skirt, and take a poop. I thought I was going to vomit.
So not cool, but from my time living in france and all the amazing movies I've seen with him in them, I have a wee soft spot for the guy ;)
ReplyDelete@linnea - once he saw me waddle out he was so embarassed he just asked me if I was ok and he took off as fast as he could. He wasn't going to stick around and fine me!
ReplyDelete@Chrissy Buns - I can only imagine twins bouncing on your bladder. I'd have been unable to leave the house.
Intoxication aside, can you imagine the state of mind someone has to be in to just urinate or defecate in full view of the public and not even care who sees you? Come on!
ReplyDeleteMy dog has more discretion when going to the bathroom, this guy is a disgusting pig.
ReplyDeleteThat is very sad he lost the son. I can't blame him for drinking before flying but at least use the loo before you do!
ReplyDeleteA fucker pees near me or on me on an airplane, I am kicking the bastard square in the NUTS.
ReplyDelete@ RQ - Yes, he was Jean de Florette. That movie (and the sequel) made me cry buckets!
ReplyDeleteGerard Depardieu was in the greatest movie of my tweenhood called My Father the Hero.
ReplyDeleteSet in the Bahamas, co- staring master thespian of our time Katherine Heigl, it was my FAV movie when I was 11/12 yrs old.
HOW DARE any of you besmirch this man for urinating on an aisle in a plane. He could urinate on my head and I'd allow it. (but that a WHOLE other topic of conversation).
*Warning* only 50% of the above statements were not made in jest, I'll let you figure out which parts ;-O
btw- IT IS possible to pop a squat and do the two-shakes thing, ladies.
ReplyDeleteI know, I did it ONCE while camping like 5 years ago and was SOOO proud of myself I bragged about it to my campsite. They neglected to realize what a once-in-a-lifetime feat that really is for a woman, jerks *sniff *sniff
@Jasmine - I LOVED that movie, too! haha!
ReplyDeletedepardieu deserves no pass. i clearly remember an interview many years ago where he defended rape in france as a boys coming of age rite.. the guys a fuckwit. he should be locked up for more than just peeing in the aisles.
ReplyDeletesorry, now i have trawled...he said at first he participated in rapes and then only that he witnessed them.. fuckwit.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,972680,00.html