Worst Proposal Ever

When I first heard the story of Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Roy Williams getting his marriage proposal turned down, I was sad for him. I mean, here you are putting it all on the line and they say no. As many times as I have been married, there have been people who have also said no. They tend to be the bartenders and waitresses of the world who I met a few hours earlier sober and then decided at some point I had to be with for the rest of my life. Luckily, most of the time they turned me down. The one exception was my Vegas wedding. You know what? For not knowing the person more than a few hours, it was probably one of my more happy marriages.

Anyway, I was prepared to be all sad for Roy, especially when I read that he did not get his ring back. This is where I got confused. Down on one knee, you pop the question, she says no, but you don't get the ring back? How is that possible? How do we all know Roy did not get the ring back? Because he is suing Brooke Daniels, a former beauty queen and his ex-girlfriend who did not return the ring, claimed she lost it, and yet somehow her father had it.

So, how again did she have it after saying no? Well this is a classic. No matter how bad your marriage proposals have been, this will top it.

According to an affidavit signed by Williams, he sent $5,000 for school and dental bills, a baseball for Daniels’ brother and — as a surprise — a recorded marriage proposal with the ring through the mail just before Valentine’s Day to Daniels. However, when Daniels declined the proposal, she did not return the ring.

Through the mail? A recorded message? Could he not make the 45 minute flight to Odessa and do it in person? And what is the deal with the expenses? You are sending someone thousands of dollars every month for expenses and you are shocked she kept the ring. The ring was worth about $76,000. The national humiliation of having people know you proposed through the mail to a woman you send checks to? Priceless.