Pick A Reason Why Crystal Harris & Hef Broke Up
With the announcement yesterday that the Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris wedding was called off, the only thing left to figure out is the reason why it was called off. Here are some rumors and some of my ideas why.
#1 - Crystal was shopping a break up with Hef at the altar story for $500K. No one would go that high, but Hef got wind of it.
#2 - Crystal found out she would have to have one on one sex with Hef on their wedding night.
#3 - Crystal was tired of the few hundred dollars she got each month in allowance and figured she could make more money selling lemonade in front of the Mansion and wouldn't have to have sex with Hef.
#4 - Hef tripped and fell and dropped his latest batch of love potion so the spell wore off.
#5 - Crystal figured if she was going to sleep with an old guy she could always hook up with Dr. Phil at some family holiday party.
#6 - Crystal found out the little blue pills were not actually beans from Jack And The Beanstalk.
#7 - Crystal found out Hef has a good 20 years left in him.
#8 - Crystal figured this announcement would give her a chance to promote her first single which no one would have ever heard of otherwise.
#9 - Hef took his meds long enough to realize Crystal was not actually a blond Barbi Benton.
#10 - Crystal found out the reception food was jello, oatmeal and other foods that can be gummed.
Really don't care...
ReplyDelete11. Crystal got ditched for a younger woman. Its a b***h to be 25.
ReplyDelete12. They won't let her sign the pre-nup in crayon. Come to think of it, they may not have allowed Hef to sign the pre-nup in crayon either.
A combination of #3 & #8. Who can blame her?
ReplyDelete#8 ftw!
ReplyDeleteMy theory is that the reason she got him to agree to marry her in the first place was that she had something on him - she knew a secret, something enough to blackmail him with. Perhaps someone more important has now promised to help him deny it and he no longer needs to marry her.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to know if there was a prenup.
Definately number 7. Gold digger...
ReplyDelete#11 All of the above
ReplyDeleteI'm going with #1 and #11. How dumb do you have to be to think Hugh Hefner (or more exactly his staff) wouldn't hear she was shopping a media deal?
ReplyDeleteI'll go w/#1 and #8. How dumb do you have to be not to think Hugh Hefner's staff and lawyers wouldn't get wind of her shopping a deal?
ReplyDeleteI'm with Jax. Seven ALL THE WAY. Crystal's totally got an Anna Nicolesque gleam in her greedy little eyes.
ReplyDeleteOh, and #10 is revolting, hilarious, and probably TRUE.
Or Crystal got tired of Holly parking out front and making hang up calls from a disposable cell phone.
ReplyDeleteHilarious post Enty!
ReplyDeleteI don't buy #7, because I doubt she's getting much in the will. Hef doesn't trust women at all. I vote #8 as well.
ReplyDeleteNumber 7 and number 10 were my favorites.
ReplyDelete#11 Crystal found out that hes pretty with it for an old dude and he did mind that she planned on continuing her relationship with her boyfriend.
ReplyDelete#11 Betty White made Hef an offer he couldn't refuse, forcing him to finally yield to a classy alternative.
ReplyDelete#11 She found out the book deal she was going to sign for was going to be actual work and the book could not be written pop-up style.
ReplyDelete#11 She found out the book deal she was going to sign for was going to be actual work and the book could not be written pop-up style.
ReplyDelete#11 - She finally came to her senses and realized the she'd be married to a guy three generations older than she is, who wouldn't have the same interests she had, and she'd probably be bored to death.
ReplyDeleteThe new Playmate of the Month was on a morning news show in Los Angeles today and was asked about the breakup. She went on and on about how great Hef was, that he was the only guy that ever held out a chair for her to sit down in, the only guy that always asked about how her day was, and how all past Playmates were welcome at the mansion at any time. She actually seemed upset that anyone would question a young girl wanting to marry Hef.
#1 & #8 for sure. Playmate of the month Clair Sinclair was also on Stern Show Sirius/XM this morning and was pretty critical of Crystal naming these reasons as well.
ReplyDeleteI think that Hef got cold feet and dumped her, but to save her embarrassment he let her appear to have done the dumping.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what happened to Barbie Benton? She was everywhere at one point and then poof, like that she was gone.
ReplyDelete#8 sounds about right
ReplyDeleteHas anyone read Scott Baio's tweet to Hugh? It is funny, actually all of Scott Baio's tweets are funny, unintentionally funny but still. Basically, Scott feels bad for his good friend Hugh. Like Hugh didn't know she was in it for the money. Well, everyone knew they weren't going to get married.
ReplyDeleteForgot to mention, had a writing class with one of Hugh's son and he was very polite. I didn't know who he was until another student told me.
ReplyDelete