How To Lose A Billion Dollars In 20 Years
I did not think it was possible, but former adult film star Patricia Kluge has proven me wrong. 20 years ago, Patrica Kluge was the richest divorcee on the planet. When she divorced her husband in 1990 she walked away with one billion dollars. Now, she has filed for bankruptcy and is struggling to hold down a 9 to 5 job. How do you ever lose a billion dollars? Apparently she knew how to spend, made lousy investments, married another guy who also was lousy at investments and kept spending and spending on parties and events even when they were borrowing millions and millions to keep doing it. Apparently they thought a winery was the key to solving their problems but that was another $100M down the drain. Donald Trump recently bought it for $6M and allowed Ms. Kluge to remain working there.
Do you realize that even at 2% interest, you would make $20M a year from a billion dollars without even touching any of the principal. Who cannot live on $2M a month? I don't feel sorry for this woman at all, but I am amazed and shocked that it is possible to run through a billion dollars in 20 years. That means she would have had to have spent $50M a year every year without making any money.
This physically pains me. She could have taken a few million and paid off the debts of every CDaN reader. Instead, she pissed it away. So unworthy.
ReplyDeleteI just got done paying bills last night and not too much left in the checkbook. No sympathy for this hag.
ReplyDeleteMy jaw hit the floor. Wow.
ReplyDeleteUnbelievable.
Holy guacamole that's a lot of money. How do you piss it away so quickly? I'd love to say drugs...maybe hormones? ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm about to cry. Not for this dum-dum, but that we here at CDAN could have split that billion dollars and everyone would be set for life.
ReplyDeleteI know I'm not supposed to cry over money, especially money that isn't mine. But this is hurting my heart. Really. All the good that could have been done with it and poof! It's all gone.
I need a cool cloth for my forehead.
Oh, this bitch! I have no sympathy for you. Get a job and go to work like the rest of us. Sonja Morgan, too.
ReplyDeleteAnd she was a former adult film star! Guess she can't go back to that!!
ReplyDeleteIf I had that kind of money I'd buy an island or something and you'd never hear from me again. If I had just $1 million, I'd be set for life (ok, I'm older, but still.....)
ReplyDeleteI read about this the other day and just couldn't believe it.
ReplyDeleteBeyond stupid.
You can get an island for only a few hundred thousand. They're not that expensive.
ReplyDeleteI remember the Kluges and all that Metromedia money she got. Goddamn, I don't think I could spend that much if I tried.
ReplyDeleteAll I can think is that she must have had two pairs of incredibly talented lips. Magic.
ReplyDeleteShe kind of looks like Kathleen Turner.
ReplyDeleteUgh. I used to live and work near C-Ville, so the Kluge name definitely rings more than a few bells. I may have even had the pleasure of dealing with this lady's staff.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure she lived in some old plantation home dubbed something like "Raven's Beak" or "Pleasant Pastures" or "Redwings." Those people are absolutely insufferable.
And I'm genuinely shocked that she spent all that money, but mostly because most of the rich folks in that area are obsessed with hoarding it and getting whatever they can for free. I don't think of them as big spenders, but they ARE misers.
I wish the same fate to Paris Hilton when she is 40 and no one thinks twice about her.
ReplyDeleteWell, I hope at least a little portion of it went to charity but I have a feeling it didn't.
ReplyDelete...is it just me or does her 'hair' look like some sort of plastic wig? Seriously, it's distracting. It's like she cut the hair off a Ken doll and plopped it on her scalp.
ReplyDelete^she suffers from Jermaine Jacksonitis.
ReplyDeleteThe crazy chica decided she was landed gentry and started a winery, and who knows what else...me I would have laid back ala Peggy Bundy and eaten bonbons all day...while gorgeous young men waited on me hand and foot...ah
ReplyDelete"Show me the money". I doubt this story is anywhere true. Yes her ex-husband John Kluge was purportedly worth six billion dollars but he was married four times; he had been divorced twice before divorcing Patricia. Patricia came with a history, being divorced from a British publisher of "mens" magazines. (I think "adult" film star is an overstatement since there was no sex, just posing for her husband's magazines and some naked film appearances.) Since John Kluge was no financial dummy and given their histories I sincerely doubt that their marriage occured without a pre-nup. Most of his money was made prior to this marriage so community property, while undoubtedly large, was only a fraction of his total worth. The "billion dollar" divorce was merely tabloid hype. Did she run through money? Yes but probably not more than $200-$300 million or so. As I said, John Kluge was no dummy, and let her have their sprawling estate - good for her ambitions as a socialite but bad on the pocket book. In essence she was the stereotypical asset rich but cash poor divorcee. Trying business ventures to monetize the estate, winery and real estate development, wiped her out. Do I have sympathy for her, absolutely not, but I strongly doubt she had anything close to a billion dollars.
ReplyDeleteJust watched an interesting documentary on Netflix called blood into wine with Maynard Keenan of Tool. One of the wine people interviewed said it takes about 100 million investment in a wintery to get 10 million out of it.
ReplyDeletewine, horses, movies, restaurants, all risky and hardly ever return a profit. But people love to sink money into them becuase it is sexy.
I'm actually surprised at my own emotions after reading this.
ReplyDeleteI dont usually take an instant dislike to a person but I sorta hate her.
She shouldnt be allowed to file for bankruptcy, it's not fair.
Make your bed and lie in it.
And those investments she made were probably just her obscenely gluttonous way of making even MORE money than what she had. As Enty pointed out, 2 mill a month is WAY more than enough to live on, and not touch a penny. i swear, people get money and all of a sudden think they are like Einstin smart and can do anything. Just sit your past its prime adult film ass down and dont worry your pretty little head about wineries or investments and just chill the fuck out.
If she would have done this, she woulda be fine.
You always see those TLC show about peeps that used to have money from the lotto and spent it all on investments that went sour. UGH. They all need to live on a stupid farm somewhere far far away. They could take this hot mess and make her the mayor.
i'm petting my 2 puppies right now and they are smiling from ear to ear. i am the richest person in the world right now. stupid stupid woman.
ReplyDeleteaw @piper - your post made my eyes and nose itch/water a little bit :)
ReplyDelete@rocketqueen - tnx - some people just don't know the value of anything. that's the tragedy here. money is a powerful thing that seems to bring stupidity and corruption. imagine all the good that it could have been used for. spca, homeless, hungry, etc. etc. i'm preaching to the choir. we all know this. that's why it's nice to commiserate with CDAN on the ridiculousness of the wealthy, famous, and moronic!
ReplyDeletePiper, that is the best thing I have heard all week, and I couldn't agree more. xoxo. :)
ReplyDelete@lauren - yay! xoxoxox
ReplyDeleteRight on, Piper.
ReplyDeleteStupid old hag. She could have done so much good with this money. Instead she pissed it all away. She's vile!
ReplyDeleteThat's so cute :) can't wait to adopt a dog!! I'm so frugal, this gives me a small panic attack. Even if she was only worth $200 million, why not just live off that? Like others said, I would buy a private island and just chill out for the rest of my life.
ReplyDeleteSickening. Don't rich people have the ability to hire people to tell them how to invest and how to spend?
ReplyDeleteI just do not get it.
This is absolutely obscene. I have no other words...
ReplyDeleteBad investments or extortion? :-0
ReplyDelete