I admit it. I did not think it was possible for a Real Housewives to be better than Beverly Hills from last season. I may have been wrong though. After being bored sill with New York and Atlanta, last night watching New Jersey was like watching a best of from The Jerry Springer Show. Who knew that if you added in one sister-in-law and a brother that things would get so out of hand so fast. If you had given up on New Jersey, you must stop everything right now and go DVR the repeat of it. You will not be disappointed. If you enjoy people getting bloodied at a christening this episode is for you. If you enjoy watching Bravo cameramen get knocked to the ground, this episode is for you. If you like to see Teresa's sister-in-law say lines like, "Thank you Jesus for everything. Without you I am nothing. Teresa is a b**tch," then this episode is for you. The way I am writing this it feels like I am about to start saying you might be a redneck jokes.
Oh, and to top things off, Joe now owns a pizza place and Teresa took about five minutes to totally emasculate him. "Joe works in the food business now and he works hard, but mama brings home the bacon." She then spent several minutes telling the world about every project she has going on and how we should all be fortunate she allowed the cameras to follow her to see how amazing and wonderful she is. Hmm, now maybe I do know why her brother called her a b**tch.
I only want to be American for the t.v. I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS MESS TO SHOW HERE!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry. I lost control of myself for a moment.
*straightens tie*
carry on.
Thine cruelty knows no bounds, Mr Enty. I am not, I repeat, NOT going to add another RH: to my addiction. I'm simply not.
ReplyDeleteSo git thee behind me, Satan.
(Is it queueing on HULU?)
It's funny you mentioned Joe "owns" a pizza parlor. He was working behind the counter, and it was never specified that he owned it. Theresa just said he's now in the "food business". Do you know he actually owns it?
ReplyDeleteJust because people are acting trashy does not make a show watchable, come on. Don't encourage this bullshit, Enty.
ReplyDeleteThe christening reception was held at The Manor. Not the type of place one would usually expect a fight to break out. Very pricey and a tad overdone. I've been to a few wedding receptions there.
ReplyDeleteOK, you have my attention.
ReplyDeleteI did catch a couple of minutes when Theresa and Joe were looking at an apartment or something as a future home and she was in denial and talking about staying her current house.
A massive brawl on the season premiere? This can only get better! The best part for me was the table of in-laws saying how much more class they had the the Giudices (purple glitter eye shadow and all!) and the brother and sister-in-law complimenting one another--"I admire his work ethnic," and "I admire her worth ethic."
ReplyDeleteAren't these just the Jersey Shore people in another 20 years?
Every time I see this woman, I can only think of how Michael K described her a few years ago: "Crouching hairline, hidden forehead." That's it. Forever.
ReplyDelete"Crouching hairline, hidden forehead."
ReplyDeleteI hadn't heard that one before. I'm still laughing.
Oh, and in other news...Former RHONJ Danielle Staub just landed a 3-year gig stripping at Scores in NYC. Wow.
ReplyDelete@Robert
ReplyDeleteI thought they had to be "10's" to wotk there? She wasn't a "10" 20 years ago.
@SEM: Go figure! Maybe they're trading on her notoriety? D-Listed and TMZ are both saying so, with pictures (!)
ReplyDeleteI saw some of the show last night. It was crazy. The in-laws are living in their own strange fantasy land just like Teresa. I'm still agape at the purse closet for Teresa's daughter.
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen it, but my sister called me at 10:15 last night hysterically laughing to see if I was watching it. My sister is a high school principal who hasn't stayed up past 9:30 on a weeknight in ages. It must have been funny if she stayed up to watch it! I'll be viewing it after my son goes to bed tonight...
ReplyDeleteI don't know, but am I the only one who notices that the entries of this blog have developed quite the sexist or overall unpleasant undertone since that whole radio debacle?
ReplyDelete@Mina
ReplyDeleteI'd say it's the same old horse shit it's always been. However, I'm almost certain that occassionaly someone else writes the blog because they seem to forget certain events that the original writer would remember.
I want to smack the living shit out of Ashley! What a spoiled, whiny little do-nothing BITCH. If I had spoken to my parents like she talks to Chris and Jacqueline, I'd have been OUT on my ear. Grow the EFF UP, girlie.
ReplyDeleteIf I watch this season I'll DVR this season and FF thru all Jacqueline's shit.
I should it funny that Theresas brother Joe hates Theresas husband Joe because he says he is a crook...well he actually is but Joe Gorga owes a few of my husbands family members a lot of money for working on his house...and Joe guidiece was ex partners with my husband current partner...they are all corrupt but I love the show especially since they are a town away from
ReplyDeleteMy favorite line from this episode was Joe Gorga: "Let me do your butt cheeks!"
ReplyDeleteOops I meant I find it funny
ReplyDeleteBuilding the pizza place (with apartments above) was featured last season. He joked they would be living there.
ReplyDeleteselenakyle! You beat me to it! That's exactly what I was going to say. "Let me do your butt cheeks. Your butt's dry!"
ReplyDeleteI did love Beverly Hills and I'm still entertained by Orange County, but these bitches have real problems! The teaser when Jaqueline goes "Please, no cops" is just hilarious. NJ definitely takes the cake. But I can't stand Ashley's lazy ass. I loved how she was saying that working was so hard and the job was so hard because "She's late sometimes." Huh? That's not the fault of the job, sweetie. She's so f'ing lazy and clueless it's laughable.
Sue Ellen:
ReplyDeleteOh Sue Ellen - but you still keep coming back, don't you?
Addiction is a bitch, isn't it...
it really makes me crazy when a parent (Jacqueline) raises a child with no discipline or sense of responsibility and then is exasperated when the same child doesn't understand that you have to get to your job on time if you want to keep it.
ReplyDelete@Rocket Queen -- "Every time I see this woman, I can only think of how Michael K described her a few years ago: "Crouching hairline, hidden forehead." That's it. Forever."
ReplyDeleteYEP. I don't even NEED to watch this shit, because I get updates from Michael K. That's how I found out about Prostitution Whore-ah's new gig.
As for the debate over Enty -- according to *some* CDAN readers, he's either a sexist fraud, or an inarticulate female. He can't win!!!
And I'm still wondering why some people think that shoddy grammar and less-than-perfect prose (you know I love you Enty, but you know your strengths and weaknesses, right?) equals a female voice. That's ALWAYS bothered me.
An old guy friend of mine also was swearing up and down about RH-NJ today. I'll have to watch.
ReplyDeleteI missed it last night and don't DVR but it's not like Bravo isn't going to show the episode/s over and over and over again.
ReplyDeleteUGH, I'm disgusted that Ashley is still on the show. I spent most of last season wanting to punch my TV when she was on. She's a nasty piece of work and can't speak a sentence without interjecting "like" at least twice.
Danielle has two very sweet daughters. Sad for them that their mom is working the pole again. Life at school won't be pleasant for them.
You've got some problems, lady. Really. I'd imagine you really did a number on your kids. Ha.
ReplyDelete@Rocket - me either!!! That forehead (or lack thereof) is spellbinding.
ReplyDeleteI FINALLY caught up last night. I was just telling my girlfriends the following....
ReplyDeleteI loved how Teresa's youngest child's Halloween outfit was referred to as "gym teacher" when it was CLEARLY supposed to be Sue Sylvester.
I loved when the always elegant Guidice/Gorga clan was having a throw down at the christening afterparty, that "Party in the USA - Dance Remix Edition" was playing in the background.
I'm not buying what Melissa Gorga is selling in terms w/ all the talky-chatty times with Jesus.
When Joe Guidice calls Teresa "Tree" it makes my life.
/end commentary
MCH - in Tree's blog today on Bravo she says the baby was Sue Sylvester for Halloween, but it was odd that she just said gym teacher in the episode.
ReplyDeleteMG is full of shit. She (and her Joe) are so jealous of T's "fame" they can't see straight! They should be on Jersey Shore instead of RH... WTF was with those knit caps at dinner? Are they shooting a gangsta video?
@Rickatoo - :) Ok, good. I was thinking, "Is she a moron (don't answer that) or is she not ALLOWED to say Sue Sylvester?" Maybe they cut that part out for whatever reason.
ReplyDeleteI also didn't understand why that same boutique would allow the same women who participated in "UnbeWeavable Fashion Show 2010" to be in it again this year. Who would want that kind of behavior associated with their store??
and i'm really disgusted that kim G is back! {{finger down throat}}
ReplyDeleteI didn't understand why they didn't make her a housewife? She's VERY entertaining. ;-)
ReplyDelete