Friday, April 15, 2011

Worst Exclusive Ever


About 75% of the time, tabloids and their brethren overuse the word exclusive. The word should be reserved for something really good. If you have pictures of Michael Jackson having sex with a donkey, that is an exclusive. Apparently over at US Weekly that exclusive tag has a very very low threshold. In their online edition, this is their headline: Exclusive: Stylist: Why Drew Barrymore Dyed Her Hair Red

Unless the reason is because Drew started a new religion or has a Mick Hucknall obsession that has gone too far, than there really is no need for the story, let alone an exclusive. Want to know the reason? Oh, it's a doozy. "Drew just felt like trying out red, and it looks great on her -- she loves it!"

She felt like trying it. This just in. Exclusive: In-N-Out Cashier: Why Enty Ate A 3X3 Animal Style. The reason? He wanted to try it and he loved it.

Seriously, this has got to be the worst exclusive in the history of exclusives.

13 comments:

  1. lol! This one tickled me, Enty.

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  3. I feel "Breaking News" is also WAY over used. Breaking News!!! Jen's new haircut!!! No.

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  4. Breaking News!: It's not the first time she's gone red!

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  5. Why am I wanting to sing a Stevie Nicks song? Must be the earring. . .

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  6. EXCLUSIVE: Why Maja decided to get a bag of Cadbury's mini eggs from the store downstairs and inhale it in seconds!


    "She just loves those things!"

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  7. Breaking News!!: Kendra receives Hef's wedding invite! Who. Cares.

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  8. That sounds like a "TMZ for kids" type of joke. Love that site.

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  9. saw this on the people site too. and immediately thought, "slow news day".

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  10. posts like these are why I love reading your site, Enty. your comments are so hilarious!!!

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  11. BREAKING EXCLUSIVE NEWS
    Whatever 'exclusive' report you have in the internet age, is only exclusive for about 8 minutes, max.

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  12. Mmm...animal style.

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