I Can't Keep Up With Charlie Sheen

I think I have figured out why Charlie Sheen needs multiple goddesses in his life. It is because he is literally awake 24 hours a day and needs to have someone with him at all times. I am pretty sure they must take shifts. This is not like a Hugh Hefner thing. Hugh is eating his pudding by 3pm and lights out by 6pm. This is so off the wall, so crazy that I don't know how anyone can keep up this pace for long. Yesterday Warner Brothers fired Charlie Sheen which of course just added another few news cycles to this craziness which means Charlie will of course have to respond which will of course keep him up for another three or four days. At this point Charlie must be running a continuous shuttle between South America and his place. He is a one man drug industry.

Charlie says he is going to confront Warner Brothers, went to a random roof with a machete, says he has plans for a stage show, he still has the trip to Haiti, his radio show, his webcast, interviews with anyone who asks, custody negotiations, finding more porn stars to replace the ones he is wearing out, and spending money like crazy. First, who carries a machete with him? Someone who sends texts like these. "Put yourself in my shoes for one warlock nanosecond. At some point there is nothing to say. Only war to wage … The winds are howling tonight. The gods are hungry. The beast is alive. And awake. And deadly." Is he Goser?