We are really starting to feel sorry for Lucretia Johnson.
Last time we checked in on the quasi bloated, not preggers blond babe, she was seriously turning to alcohol to cope with her seemingly downward spiral. She's just not what (and where) she used to be, career-wise, ya know?
Adding to Lucretia's woes, her newest beau (with whom things have gotten quite serious since we last checked in) is making matters worse. Much.
See, it appears as if L.J. and her dude are on the marriage track.
Unfortunately for Ms. Johnson, what she doesn't know is that despite tabloid appearances, her man has "no intention" of ever walking down the aisle with her, claims an insider.
In fact, he is so grossed out by her, impeccable sources tell us, that he's still sleeping with his ex!
At a cheap nail salon in L.A., the ex was bitching to her manicurist about her ex's new high-profile romance:
"He has been f--king me practically during their whole relationship."
If that wasn't bad enough, apparently Lucretia's dude (who's blah in every way, hint, hint) was also talking about how "disgusted" he was with Johnson, admitting he was only using her for her money and fame.
Thing is, Ms. Johnson plays into this, totally. She's completely his sugar mama and is cutting out friends who try to tell her that she's just being used.
Apparently, the ex lady admitted they stopped doing the nasty behind Lucretia's back because the dude needed to keep up appearances in the press that he and Johnson are totally in love.
Could this get any grosser?
Wake up and smell the future, Lucretia! It's only going to get stinkier if you keep hanging with guys like this.
And It Ain't: Kim Kardashian, Selena Gomez, Britney Spears
Jessica Simpson?
ReplyDeleteI was thinking the same thing...Jessica
ReplyDeleteXtina?
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely Christina A.
ReplyDeleteNote the "blah blah" hit. Google and you will see Christina's video for Blah Blah.
Xtina
ReplyDeletepoor jessica - though my husband would probably object to her being anything less than super doable........so maybe Xtina instead?
ReplyDeleteI totally think this is Christina. I worry about who is watching Max while she and this scumbag are getting wasted and having sex in a bathroom at a family event as other sites are reporting. Is she really this stupid?
ReplyDeleteSounds like Christina.
ReplyDeletextina...
ReplyDeleteOh Christina...I thought someone who sang songs like "Fighter" and "Can't Hold Us Down" would be less desperate than that...
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone know if that blind about a popstar and her team staging a meltdown a la Britney style to do a big comeback is about Christina?
Christina or Chestica. Either one fits.
ReplyDeleteWasn't Jessica into poop play with John Mayer? (Sorry, hope you are not eating lunch.) Maybe that is what Ted means by, "It's only going to get stinkier..."
ReplyDeleteShe has been stumbling drunk out of restaurants on what's-his-name's arm and he supposedly gets a monthly allowance which would make it a lot harder to extricate himself from the situation even if he was miserable.
I'll go with Jessica.
To me, this sounds like Leanne Rimes.
ReplyDeleteOh, and Lucretia Johnson and Jessica Simpson have the same number of syllables. Right? *counts on fingers AGAIN*
ReplyDeleteIsn't that a Ted thing?
Gotta be Jessica. Remember how she actually revealed in an interview how she loves to give Dutch ovens? Well, there's your "wake up and smell the future" clue right there.
ReplyDeletevivica foxx
ReplyDeletesoju, i have been thinking the same thing - following in the footsteps of britney was christina...just too coincidental...but is ted EVER - THIS OBVIOUS?! it sounds wayyyy too easy.
ReplyDeleteJessica is engaged, so "it appears as if L.J. and her dude are on the marriage track" wouldn't make sense if it's her. I say Christina.
ReplyDeleteSadly this is probably true of both Christina and Jessica.
ReplyDeleteJessica. I believe in the previous blind about this person she was childless and having trouble conceiving because of damage to her lady parts due to too much backdoor to frontdoor play.
ReplyDeleteI think the "stinkier" reference is about her rel'ship with Mayer aka SuperDooperCooper who's into scat.
Leanne
ReplyDeletewas going to say Jessica but then remembered John Mayer referred to her as sexual napalm...going with Christina plus the bloated comment points to her too...
ReplyDeleteCan't be Jessica because she was confirmed as a BV Star WAY before this blind came out.
ReplyDeleteI say Xtina.
Jennifer Love Hewitt - Her current boyfriend is named Alex Bleh.
ReplyDeleteI think Jessica, but love the Leanne guess!
ReplyDeleteEh. I don't get the feeling that Xtina's out looking for another Batboy or anything. She's troubled and has poor taste in men, yes, but I think she just wants to get laid.
ReplyDeleteI vote for Jessica. She's desperate for anything resembling a marriage, and that dude she's with is SKETCHY.
@squeezebox - dutch oven? I hate to appear even more dense, but is this a code?
ReplyDeleteat this point Xtina and Jessica are interchangble with these blind items.
ReplyDelete@bigMama a Dutch Oven is when you fart under the covers and then pull the blanket up so your bedmate gets a big whiff of your smelly farts.
ReplyDeletefirst thought was Leanne Rimes, but she's only sort of blonde.
ReplyDeleteCould be either Xtina or Jessica from the description, but I'm leaning toward Jessica since I don't think Xtina is so desperate to have the world believe she's in a big romance with the new guy. Jessica, on the other hand, desperately wanted to be engaged since Nick announced he was. I can easily see that this guy might never marry her, or will hold out for a lot of cash. Jess's apparel empire is apparently a huge cash generator.
All in all, I think I'm going with Jess on this one.
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ReplyDeleteHere's the link to the first LJ BV:
ReplyDeleteE! Online
Sure sounds like Jessica to me. She keeps picking guys who take advantage of her not being too bright, poor thing.
lol@time bob and big mama!!! Come on big mama, big papa has NEVER done that to you?
ReplyDeleteI initially thought Jessica but I'm thinking Xtina now. Jessica may be a lil bit heavier but she still looks good. Xtina looks terrible now. She looks bloated and drunk all the time. Hell she has stumbled at her performances probably from drinking.
ReplyDeleteDutch ovens are probably in the top 5 reasons I will never ever ever in the history of ever live with a man. Eww to the nth power.
ReplyDeletethe 'hint' gives it away. "you are 'blah', in every single way".
ReplyDeletextina
Definitely not Jessican Simpson. Her shoe/purse line is sealing her status for her.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWho is Xtina dating? I thought this sounded like Jessica Simpson, cause everyone knows the guy is using her for $ and fame...though I don't see how she could gross anyone out.
ReplyDeleteThis is from Ted's last Lucretia BV. "That said, there's a celeb in town by the name of Lucretia Johnson, whose talent is, uh, questionable, at best."
ReplyDeleteOK...Xtina is amazingly talented. She has one of the best voices in the business. Jessica...her talent is questionable, at best. This is definitely Jessica, NOT Xtina.
I don't think Xtina is in a rush to get married again. This sounds like Jessica.
ReplyDeleteI just read the first BV and he left the clue of "cheerleader at Happiest Place on Earth High" That says disney and maybe high school musical to me. Jessica was never a part of disney. I don't know who this is now.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I thought that it might be Jessica- but the Disney hint does through it out. Even then, Jessica's boytoy is decent looking. Christina's new guy is pretty much blah in every way.
ReplyDeleteSo far as her talent goes, she isn't really singing as much as she used to- she certainly isn't the same singer she was circa Lady Marmalade and before.
(And I am pretty sure that Ted has a BV for Jess already)
Oh- and when I was googling for pictures of the new boyfriend, I know I found some story that mentioned he'd bought her a ring.
ReplyDelete@Crila -- I agree. Xtina is a hot mess, but she's still a great singer.
ReplyDeleteIsn't Jessica's fiance's last name Johnson? Come on. So her.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely Christina-- I think Ted is referring to her "acting" as questionable to lead us off.
ReplyDeleteJanet296: "Jessica still looks good?" eeew, not in the photos I've seen of her. She looks dirty and drunk and I have nothing against a full figure proportioned as well as hers, but she just looks like a slob lately.
ReplyDeleteI think it's Leann Rimes. What gave it away for me is the ex getting her nails done at a cheap salon. Eddie's ex has no money and is trying to make a name for herself in biz and dishing about Leann and Eddie seems like something up her alley. Plus it's vindication for her since he cheated on her with Leann.
ReplyDeleteLeann is not looking bloated... She looks svelte these days. Stuns is looking bloated & drunk.
ReplyDeleteJess was a cheerleader in HS. They had a thing on famous cheerleaders on msn a while back.
ReplyDeleteHeads Xtina tails Jessica?
ReplyDeleteMy two cents. Much as
ReplyDeleteI don't care for her, this is not Jessica S. Why? 1.) She has been "quasi-Bloated for some time. This is not a new event. 2.) Ditto the boozing. 3.)As much as her talent is truly questionable, she has grossed some insane amount of money in her "fashion" biz. Maybe she is not in the public eye in terms of what we initially perceived her to be, but regardless of that, her success is anything but failing.
I think this is Christina, Jessica's fashion line is on fire and she made a ton of money on it last year. Christina looks very bloated and the Blah..Blah hint kind of seals it. I feel sorry for her kid.
ReplyDeleteI think it's Christina. I can't remember the original blind but I remember reading something (besides the bit about Disney) that made me rule Jessica out.
ReplyDeleteBest bet is Jessica Simpson, Christina Aguleria. Someone mentioned Jennifer Love Hewitt, That could also be possible as reports from past BF's all say she is FREAKING NUTS she basically has wedding rabies and guys get competely turned off by it, and rightfully so.
ReplyDeleteEither Jessica or Christina...
ReplyDeleteSo sad. But you know, when you're drinking as much as these girls obviously are it's not just "to cope." (that's why both of them are so bloated, despite the frequent workouts, honeys. You can't drop weight and drink that much booze, no matter how much you're working out or how little you're eating.) It's because you're most likely an alcoholic at this point. Hope they get some help - sadly, like with Charlie Sheen, their enablers and vast pool of money may keep them in the downward spiral all the way to the bottom. Sometimes, success is an addict's worst enemy.