Ted C Blind Item

Relationships are hard, nobody know that more than I do, as I divorced last year. Certainly one big reason why I started smoking again (a habit I will no doubt kick, yet again. It's hideous!). So, it's with more than a bit of sympathy I present to you the sad, sad tale of Vicky Vamp-Void, a gal who knows her way around cocaine far better than she does how to make a successful marriage (or career?) work.

Gosh, and there was such hope for cute Vicky, back when she met her sweet, hot man, who some said was even cuter than Vick!

However, not long ago, Vicky and her guy (who's really a pretty fun dude) made a major change to their relationship:

They decided to get the law involved. Out went their pretty free-spirited living arrangement, and in came rules, traditions and California state laws regarding their domestic situation, which ended up totally cramping the young couple, who were very laid back and quite chill before all this.

Therefore, Vicky's back to her bad habits, which she had avoided while with her man. She's recently been hitting the club-and-party scene with abandon, drunkenly snorting blow whenever and wherever she can. And really, the chick is a total mess; she doesn't even always get it up her nostrils—and the white stuff ends up all over some stained shag carpet, or somebody's shoulder, for all the horrified looky-loos to gasp at.

And to be honest, we're really not certain if Vicky's fellow debauched partiers are more aghast at the waste of cocaine or the callous disregard for whoever may be watching.

But the point is, with only a modicum of talent to fall back on and a man who she's decided she really wants nothing to do with, Vicky's momentary blissful moment of healthy living and a more promising career, seem forever dashed...Certainly at this Lindsay-Lohan-type rate, we have to say.

And It Ain't: Scarlett Johansson, Camille Grammer, Courteney Cox