Friday, January 14, 2011
Your Turn
When the news came out that Jamie Pressly blew a .22, I was thinking to myself that is a ton of booze. You would think someone would have noticed someone that hammered. A bartender, a waitress, the guy she was with who was not her husband. Anyway, it got me to thinking. What is the most wasted you have ever been? Did you do something you regret? Drunk dialing? Lets hear the drunk stories.
Woke up in jail. Did not know how I got there. I was 19. Alcohol was a factor.
ReplyDeleteMy friends spike my drink. We were having a Pina Colada party. When I stepped out to go to the bathroom they poured EverClear (I believe that is the name). First time being drunk. Had to go to work the next day. Very bad hang-over, could not eat a thing for the whole day. By dinner time I was able to eat and felt great. Decided I would never drink again. If I take a drink it's only 1 especially if I am driving. Since I got married I don't drink since my husband doesn't drink at all.
ReplyDeleteI sang "Don't You Forget About Me" (from the "Breakfast Club") at my ex-boyfriend's wedding. This is why you should never do karaoke while drunk at you first love's wedding!
ReplyDeletephysically attacked my ex at a work function. thank you, tequilla.
ReplyDeletePlayed quarters with my best friend with straight Seagrams Seven. Short, wide glass. She got the first go. Thirteen times in a row. I swear I stayed drunk for two days. Hungover forever. I was a young teen, not used to drinking yet. To this day I can't even smell that stuff without wanting to puke.
ReplyDeleteI have a million more since then (yep, I'm a total alky, love my drink like Enty) too, but that's the one I really, really remember and regret.
New Orleans, 21st birthday, was a blast, ended up in a male strip club with my dudes, don't regret it at all, but those hand grenades did catch up to me eventually. I remember being carried back to the hotel.
ReplyDeleteWhich part? After drinking a fifth of tequila, going out on a friend's balcony and puking over the railing, only later to find out that I had hit the gas-fired charcoal grill or later on coming out of a blackout and being the only one standing in the middle of the dance floor, all the lights on and an empty magnum of champagne in one hand?
ReplyDeleteFor Driver's Ed when I was 17 we had to go to our local police station to go through what happens when you get a DUI. It honestly scared me straight to never drink and drive.
ReplyDeleteNow drunk dialing.....
Ah, so many stories, so little time.
ReplyDeleteFirst really bad hangover...4th of July in New Orleans. Home alone with the boyfriend. We had a lot of alcohol and he ended up in my negligee sucking my toes. I ended up with a three day hangover complete with dry heaves the whole time. Told my parents I was sick because I had a beer.
Oh Boy! Didn't start drinking till I was 28. Went to New Years at a friends house in my 30s. Drank too much, went to sleep (we were staying over, my husband and I). Woke up and knew I was going to vomit. Vomited all through their house before I got to the toilet. Vomited on myself, had to have a shower fully clothed. Had some sleep but felt so bad the next day I couldn't face being in a moving vehicle so I walked home. These people moved interstate. They are back in my hometown now, but I doubt I will ever see them again. It was a brand new extension with brand new carpet - I don't blame them.
ReplyDeleteohhhhh, drove drunk. Yes. Not my proudest moment...still shudder when I think of it. Was at a wedding at a very posh hotel and did a little to much Kettle One. Every time I turned around a shot was in my hand. I remember having money for the valet in my hand as I was parking my car (crookedly) in my spot at home--poor valet never got his tip. Don't remember much of the drive home. So lucky I didn't get pulled over or worse. Was sick for THREE days after---my Catholic guilt has me convinced it was my punishment for being such a bonehead.
ReplyDeleteregret...hungover sooo bad at work that I layed on the bathroom floor to feel the cold tiles on my face and body....yuck
ReplyDelete"too much", not "to much". And let me stress i was on the point of alcohol poisoning drunk. Bonehead!
ReplyDeleteThese are gonna be good reading. :)
ReplyDeleteTo answer: All of the above?
I am NOT proud of this, but I could probably write a book on my drunken shenanigans. :-/
When I was a freshman in college, I thought it would be a good idea to walk to Papa John's from an off campus party (not sure if it was b/c the boy I had a crush on worked there or I was hungry??). I entered the building from the rear employee entrance & walked straight out the front door & continued home, until one of the nice (& possibly very startled) Papa John delivery men gave me a ride home.
When I lived abroad, one night I got absolutely smashfaced hammered. I began with red wine (which I never drink) while I got ready. Moved to pints at the first pub, eased into the blue Wickeds at the first club, stopped by another club for some shots and bottled mudslides, then on to the next club for vodka cokes.
ReplyDeleteFinally we head home, but stop at a pub that was closed (we were friends with the manager/owner)and drank Baileys on the rocks for another hour, until I stumbled out of there blind drunk and headed towards my flat.
I puked 3 or 4 times in the sewer grates before I got home and passed out in a pile of vom. I woke up 12 hours later puking into a pot that had been placed beside my bed (thanks flatmate) and proceeded to drift in and out of sleep for the next 6 hours until the guy I was seeing came in my room and told me I looked like a smackhead because I was a wreck and my sheets had been wrestled off the bed.
Not my finest moment and it took a few days to recover, but I figured, I don't live here, so who gives a fuck anyway?
Not that my little rampage even compared to some of the debauchery I witnessed there, but there you have it.
Oh yes. Towards the end I was puking only bile.
The last thing I remember at a dance a Loyola University in New Orleans, standing at the top of a stair case to the basement. Woke up hours later at the bottom of the stairs, alone and locked in. Giant bump on my head. I finally got out and walked though a really bad neighborhood to catch a bus home. The driver wouldn't let me out until he was returning and I didn't have to cross the street. I had to go to a baseball game the next day and I thought I was going to die.
ReplyDeleteIf she slammed down a Rumplemintz or other heavy-duty shot right before getting pulled, she might not have been quite as drunk as you'd think .22 would make yer...especially being so lightweight. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteWay back in the late 80's bartending in my then-hubby's bar we bought a Breathalyzer for the bar specifically to test people who balked at us cutting them off.
It made a lot of money on 50-cent drunkard "tries," just from sheer curiosity alone!
And the trick was (then, anyway) that one never breathes for a test unless they have either waited 20 minutes since the last drink OR drinks a full, 8-oz glass of water. That was supposedly the best, true BAC test.
was at an 18th (I was 16), got so drunk on beer and vomiting all over the place I was crying my sisters phone number to the bouncer (who knew her) to make her come get me...which resulted in her partner having to pack up their 3 mth old baby into the car at12.30am, drive to the bar she was at to then come and get me from another bar.I was dragged to the car with my legs behind me that I lost one of my gold kitten heels that I'd only just got for my Lower 6th formal. And i've been known as Cinderella to the family ever since...
ReplyDelete2000 - Mallarca, Spain.
ReplyDelete4 for 1 drinks for ladies at a club called the Carwash. at midnight all the staff who were outfitted in 70s gear would do a live dance to the song Blame it On The Boogie. i decided i could dance better than those bitchez,got up on stage,shook my shit until i got dizzy and leaned over and hurled in a fishbowl drink. rinse,repeat.
Kept dancing.
Woke up missing a shoe.
The End.
that should be Mallorca.
ReplyDeleteAh, everclear. In the 80s my roomate and I used to party with nice Muslim boys from the middle east. They loved my sangria. Little did they know that my secret ingredient was EVERCLEAR. When someone almost drowned in our pool, we decided to cease and desist.
ReplyDeleteit just so happens I am writing a blog of my stories. its called Tales of an Alcoholic http://blogdogrunsatnight.blogspot.com/ I try to make an entry per week day. Tell a friend and follow my blog! Happy New Years to all @ CDAN! xoxoxxo
ReplyDeleteMaybe she didn't seem drunk, like my uncle on new years, he was totally drunk (drinking from 2:30 p.m to early morning just beers and vodka) his voice doesn't sound drunk and he has good balance, basically he can pass off as sober. The only thing is that he confuses the words when he speaks.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I don't usually drink at all(alchoholics in the family) but 2 years ago I went on vacations to another city with a few friends and one of them brought her cousins so we ended up going to a club, getting so drunk that we didn't remember most of it...I woke up in one of the cars we drove in, one of her cousins driving, some my friends with me and we had gone off the road in a field of cane sugar (caña de azucar). It was horrible, I'm glad nobody was hurt. Just awful and ashamed.
My 21st birthday. Mixed seven alcohols, puked my brains out, got my entire party kicked out and banned from that bar for a year, and sang "Show Me the Way to Go Home" all the way home. Thank goodness my friends love me!
ReplyDeleteI've learned much better about my body's tolerance, and what I can do before it will kick my ass, but every so often, I make some exceptions.
skinny dipping-well sort of-left undies on-everyone else went bare-arsed
ReplyDeletereturned to my dorm with my clothes on backwards
luckily never puked, but always seemed to lose my clothes
Celebration after 2nd year of law school, 7 martinis, and I puked in my sleep, Janis Joplin style. I would like to say that cured me, but it happened again later that year. That time I woke up to my cat licking puke off my face. I've reined it in since then, but I still have a proclivity to overimbibe.
ReplyDelete@ Sue Ellen Mishkey that sounds EXACTLY like one of my uni experiences, except for the part in the middle - I can't remember getting home to my friend's appartment, but I remember waking up on her couch the next morning, covered in towels for blankets with a bucket of puke beside me.
ReplyDeleteMore drunk shame: Went to a lock-in at the pub my friend worked at before he left to live in Boston for a year. We were having doubles of Bushmills and coke and having the craic, that I decided to dance on top of the bar to 'Kiss' by Prince - strutted my stuff soooooo well I fell off the bar, sprained my ankle and said friend had to give me a fireman's lift to the taxi, instead of the original plan of me walking to get the first train home at 6am like I'd intended! Am still so showed about it!!
Also, one of my friends was (is) notorious for calling for rides after last call. Hey, I'd rather her wake me up than drive drunk. Anyways, her mother didn't find her calling every night very responsible, so she got her a mini Breathalyzer for her purse, and told her to stop drinking once she hit .08 on it. Needless to say, it became a game at house parties to see who blew the highest before puking. That was totally not a good idea. Oh, college...
ReplyDeletein my early 20's, I went out with 2 guy friends who outweigh me by a hundred lbs. Drank them under the table- guess who drove home?
ReplyDeletewhat a fucking idiot I was. Thank goodness we made it home safe- I don't know how.
Hosted a group of friends to dinner (private room) at a nice resturant in my city. Drank way to much wine from being miserable being married to a douche. Proceeded to tell every wait staff that my friend (who was present) loved to show her boobs to everyone - which is not like me at all. (And she never did that to begin with.) Anyway the night went on, and apparently I got so blinded/black out drunk that I proceeded to flash all the wait staff and the few customers at the bar as we left. I have no real memory of this - except everyone including my new husband telling me so. Haven't touched it since.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 23 I got hammered with two friends, went frog hunting on a golf course with a BBQ fork tied to a stick. Stripped down to underwear and bra and decided to climb to the top of a 40 foot pine tree. Took like 20 mins but finally made it to the top (the branches get really thin up there). Poked my head up, started swinging my body and the tree back and forth screaming "can you see me? Can you see me?".
ReplyDeleteStarted to climb down, branch broke and I fell alllllll the wayyyyy down.
Knocked unconscious, ambulance ride, broken collar bone and 2 ribs. Spent 2 days in the hospital and had no health insurance.
Stupidest thing ever.
@Sio
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't Liverpool, was it?
I love these stories. Kepp 'em coming!
After taking about five shots of tequila, drinking four beers, and consuming an entire bottle of wine, I got behind a bar and proceeded to tend it (I didn't work at the joint) while screaming obscenities at various fratboys. After they kicked me out of said bar, I ended up stumbling outside and wandering around the streets of my town until the cops finally found me. They asked me where I lived, and I was so wasted I couldn't slur out my correct address.
ReplyDeleteI woke up in the drunk tank, which I think was a stroke of good fortune. Who the hell knows what would have happened to me otherwise?
P.S. I only stick to beer these days, and I have NO DESIRE to EVER be drunk EVER, EVER again.
On New Years Eve I guess about 1979 or so I was at a party and got into a drinking contest with a girl about half my size. Chugged a bottle of rum.
ReplyDeleteI was told afterwards that friends made me puke on the front lawn of the house where the party was and then drove me home, around 2 a.m. Woke up at home the next morning with a massive hangover and two very unhappy parents. My dad said, "Your mother is very hurt." I said, "She doesn't feel half as bad as I do." That didn't make the situation better.
I never drank rum again until about five years ago when my wife and I went to Cancun for vacation.
When I was 15 I decided I'd try to make some wine. Seemed easy, just pour some Welch's grape juice, some sugar and some bread yeast into a plastic jug and stick it in the back of the closet for a month. One Friday night I was home alone so I started drinking it. After that I don't remember much. The next morning I woke up in a pool of red vomit. I thought I was blind because the puke had sealed my eyes shut. Then when I could see again there was vomit on the wall next to my bed all the way up to the ceiling and then on the ceiling above me. Don't remember how it got there. Got it all cleaned up before my dad got home from out of town.
ReplyDelete...and you'll notice I did not tell y'all any of my worst drunken stories.
ReplyDeleteThere are FAR too many, and thank Jah I never killed anyone by driving drunk. Seriously...it got out of control back in the day.
Back then we mixed mega-drinking with Coke, E, Shrooms...you name it.
So nowadays I only get my drunk on either AT HOME or with CAB MONEY in hand and i pray for forgiveness for all the could-have-been shit I avoided.
Thank you, Guardian Angels!
@ Sue Ellen Mishkey no, it was on the North Coast in Ireland. Apparently another drunk friend insisted he gave me a piggy back up the road, so our sober friends walked behind, ready to catch me if he dropped me. It was Southern Comfort, Vodka and lime in a pint glass that did me in that night!!
ReplyDeleteBiloxi. 50 lbs of crawfish. 2 cases of beer. Got so drunk that a side trip to Jackson seemed reasonable. Drinking all the way. By the time I got home to New Orlenas, I couldn't open my eyes and I told my Mother I was blind. She had to help me take out my contacts. Next morning - massive hangover and abraded corneas. Yippee! Ah college.
ReplyDeleteMe: Friends gave me a going away party when moving cities to a new job. At the end of the party suggested a last drink; I woke up (remembering nothing) in their guest room. Staggered out, looking for a bathroom, and got attacked by their guard dog. Lesson: don't mix drinks and Rottweilers.
ReplyDeleteSeen by me: lets just say someone making racist comments in mixed company. Ugly; very ugly!
It's abit of an eye opener seeing how many people on here admitted to drink driving. Growing up in Ireland we had the WORST adverts to discourage it - http://www.visit4info.com/advert/DOE-Drink-Drive-Campaign-You-Dont-Bring-Me-Flowers-Depart-of-Environment-DOE/56211
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtJqw--DGl8
Then again, we also had anti-terrorism ads (youtube cats in the cradle northern ireland)... fuck, watching tv as a child of the 90s in Ireland was awful!!
I drank my dad's entire bottle of Christmas whiskey Christmas Eve when I was 17. I got so drunk, I was vomiting while asleep. I'm still amazed I did that, and so were my parents! It started as a joke, and then after a while the whiskey started tasting good. I then woke up feeling pretty dreadful. My mother said "You could have died. Don't ever do that again" and I haven't.
ReplyDeleteoh, I forgot the follow-up. The next day my friends wanted brunch in the French Quarter and I was still feeling pale and shaky/sweaty. We went to a nice little cafe, and I thought that I might puke, so I excused myself. The women's bathroom was about 15 women long, and the men's had no line, and I thought I was going to blow, so I went to the men's bathroom. As soon as I opened the door, I heard a guy grunt and then a wash of liquid stool hitting the toilet. I threw up, in the doorway, with the door open, and the entire line of women watching me. Happy brunch, ladies! Ugh, the thought makes my stomach curl now.
ReplyDelete1. On a party bus from Toronto to Mont Sutton - near Quebec City, about an 8-hour drive that turned into 13 because the driver got lost. Don't remember anything after the first hour or so until we stopped somewhere not even halfway. My friends pulled me out of the bus, tried to stand me up on my own. I fell face forward, luckily into a snowbank. I stood up with snow behind my glasses. They laughed because I looked like Little Orphan Annie. As soon as they dragged me inside and the warmth hit me, I started to heave. Got sick, got back on the bus. Don't remember anything until just before our arrival. People cheered when I woke up. Apparently I kept moving to the music blasting in the bus and I'd fall onto the floor (still have a scar on my hand from it). When we arrived, the owner of the inn had sandwiches and non-alcoholic drinks on hand (since it was about 3:30am). I couldn't understand why people moved away from me when I sat down at the bar. Took off my jeans and passed out. Woke up, found vomit all over my shirt and coat (that was from the bus) and realized I drank a 26er of vodka and pineapple juice on my own. Can't drink vodka to this today. Couldn't even ski that weekend, I was so done in. And my friends took a picture of me while passed out on the bus.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I've been worse before, but here's my only breathalyzer story... BF and I had a light dinner along with 2 bottles of wine. Luckily we'd walked out to dinner, so stumbled our way home. There's no way I'd have dared driving if I had to.
ReplyDeleteWell, BF has a breathalyzer for work and he decided to test us for fun. I was only .046. I can't believe .08 is the limit to drive based on that experience. Yikes!
I should clarify - I took off my jeans in my room. Not in the bar.
ReplyDeleteFirst time I ever drank, I was 15 and it was a mickey of Southern Comfort. I was lucky the guy I was with was a gentleman. Thought I would die that night and the next day. For decades after, I couldn't hear the words "Southern Comfort" without feeling sick. Never did take another drink of it.
ReplyDeleteFunniest I ever saw - my friend's birthday, somebody bought her a continual round of sambuca shots - possibly 7 in less than 15 minutes. She was wasted. And then, my straight as an arrow friend, stood up and announced to the bar that contrary to rumours, she was not an alcoholic lesbian. At that point, I hustled her out of the bar and got her home. I tortured her for weeks letting out bit by bit what she had said and done while drunk until finally she said "now you're just making sh*t up". Sadly, I wasn't.
17 years old - thought it would be smart to play Quarters with Tequila. I was not driving but my drunk friend was. I proceeded to puke out of the passenger window and down the side of the door. The next morning his mother comes running into his room screaming at him that he hit an animal because its guts and body was all over the side of his passenger door. He was so hungover he told her that it wasn't his fault an animal ran into his car. Later that day he realized it was my puke. We laugh about it now - but I still remember being so hung over and sick for days. Now I cannot even smell tequila without wanting to puke.
ReplyDeleteAt my Quinceñera (Sweet 16 in Mexico) my best friend, who was also 15, had a couple of beers and proceeded to undress because she was hot (temperature wise). I still love her 17 years later!
ReplyDeleteMy brother got married, and somebody kept spiking my drink. Doesn't take much when you are not a drinker. Well I don't remember it, but some guy next to me kept feeling me up, and I never told him to stop, although he was gross. Then I went to bed and the bed was spinning. Didn't understand how I got that way, but after that, never trusted anyone near my glass.
ReplyDeleteGawd...you want drinking stories? Well, thanks to a very misspent youth, I've got a bunch (and some of them I can even remember and don't have potential statute of limitations issues).
ReplyDeleteThere was the time while on vacation with the parents (I was 17) that we got the news one of my uncles had died - that prompted an evening spent on the beach with friends and a bottle of vodka. Then we got told we were running out of mixer, which to drunk me, meant make stronger drinks (because they used less mixer)...I ended up spending more than an hour in a friend's room praying to the porcelain god - then had to stagger across the hotel courtyard to the parent's room, only to head directly to the bathroom for yet another prayer session.
My father's revenge? Early morning breakfast.
Then there was the time a friend and I went out to a bar only to have them announce 50 cent peppermint schnapps shots.
Some 30$ later, we were chicken chasing drunk. Being 18 and stupid, said friend tried to drive home, only to get pulled over.
As the story was relayed to me later, just as the policeman was asking my friend what he was doing and he was replying that he was trying to get a drunk friend home (ie me), I leaned my head out of the window and blew serious chunks. Needless to say, no ticket by the grace of all the Gods.
This isn't nearly as funny/scary as the rest of you, but as a college freshman, I got totally plastered on 1/2 a bottle of Reunite Rosato 50/50 w/ginger ale (yes, I was in my cheapass wine phase) at my friend Bonnie's 20th b-day party in the dorm. Apparently carbonation speeds up alcohol absorption--who knew? I didn't--and I just wanted to curl up & sleep. "Oh, no, you don't--you're not passing out at MY party!" So somehow I managed to get up 2 flights of stairs from her room to mine and got as far as my door when I got stuck trying to unlock my door--according to my neighbors, I kept missing the lock w/the key over & over & over. So they took the key away from me, unlocked the door, dragged me in, put me on my bed, took my shoes off, & left me to my slumber...and the only part of that I remember at all is a VERY vague recollection of trying to work the lock. Woke up about 2-3 hours later, took a shower, & felt just fine; fortunately, I was enough of a lightweight (and still am) that I basically passed out before I could really mess myself up.
ReplyDeleteBack in '98, I was in New Orleans for NINcon (the alt.music.nin annual gathering) at the Hyatt Regency, and one of our number, whom I shall refer to as "P", decided to REALLY tie one on. He went down to the French Quarter, got totally hammered on Hurricanes & Hand Grenades (those big fruity highly alcoholic slushie drinks you get in plastic go-cups), came back to the hotel, and proceeded to get even drunker at the cash bar we had for our in-hotel disco. At some point, P decided that perhaps he wasn't feeling so well, and went back to the room he was sharing w/3 other guys...
ReplyDeleteNow, one of the interesting features of that particular Hyatt is that the mirrored closet doors are directly across from the mirrored bathroom door in most of the rooms. (You can see where this is going already, right? It gets worse...) Eventually P decided that perhaps a trip to the bathroom might not be such a bad idea, but in his drunken state mistakes the closet for the john...where he promptly (1) lost control of ALL his bodily functions, and (2) then proceeded to smear crap along the carpet & wall before finally passing out.
(Part 2 coming up)
Woke up the next AM to my friend Julia sitting on the bed w/an expression of absolute horror on her face. "Did you hear about P last night?!?" and then proceeded to tell me what happened. Terrified that we were all going to be tossed out of the hotel, I made it down to the lobby, where Jim, the con organizer, was telling everyone The Rest Of The Story. It seems that P had been hauled off to the ER w/alcohol poisoning, while the hotel made sure that his roommates got a new, clean room and took care of everything. (Then again, this WAS New Orleans, and that particular hotel is attached to both the Superdome & the New Orleans Arena...) The best line of the entire weekend was courtesy of the nighttime head of housekeeping at the Hyatt, who explained to Jim, "Well, we really can't ask the housekeeping staff to clean it up, because it IS a Level 5 biohazard..." And so it came to pass that a very large bucket of cleaning products was left in the befouled room, and P himself got to clean it all up once he was discharged later that morning.
ReplyDelete(Still more coming)
It is actually fairly possible for someone who drinks EVERY day to blow over the limit and not appear drunk in the least. Or at the very least only appear slightly tipsy. Seems to me like Jaime is a daily drinker.
ReplyDeleteI can drink a 12 pack, and as long as I am not mixing with hard liquour, I doubt someone would take the car keys away from me.
In spite of it all (and still laughing hysterically over the housekeeping head's comment), we all had to give P a hell of a lot of credit--most of us would have been on the first plane out of town as soon as we'd finished cleaning up, but bless his heart, he stuck it out for the remainder of the weekend, thereby winning the respect of everyone there, including the hotel staff, who still wanted us all to come back in the future. (We did, 2 years later, but that's another story...) Not only did P get a great new line for his take on NIN karaoke ("Head like a hole/black as your soul/I'd rather die/than shit on the floor!"), but he's got a hell of a story to tell for the rest of his life. He's married now to a lovely lady, and when their relationship became sufficiently serious, he decided there were certain things his beloved needed to know about him...or, as he posted on Live Journal, "Well...I came out of the Hyatt Regency closet, and she still loves me. I think she's the one!"
ReplyDeleteAnd so they lived happily ever after... ;-)
My worst was, also, the last night I ever drank. To put it mildly, I was in a *very* bad place with my life (major depressive disorder, work issues, etc.) When my husband took me to the ER, about an hour after we got home, my BAC was 0.42. I am definitely not proud of this and am grateful to not only be alive but that my husband loved me enough to force me into treatment.
ReplyDelete/sober 4.5 years (and counting)
I got dumped by my boyfriend, who I thought was the love of my life. Drove to a bar, parked the car, and drank myself into oblivion trying to console myself over losing him. I stumbled out at closing time, couldn't find my car, which I SWORE was parked right outside the door of the bar. I thought it was stolen! I had to call my recent ex and have him come pick me up, and as we were driving away from the bar, turned the corner, and there was my car. I had forgotten where I parked it because I was so shitface drunk! Worst night ever. I was soooooo humiliated, and then insisted I was fine to drive myself home because I was so embarassed that I couldn't stay in the car another second with him. Stupid all the way around.
ReplyDeletemy jersey shore themed bachelorette party this summer. Pregamed all afternoon then in the limo on the way to see a band at a bar my friends were asking me questions about my fiance that i had to answer correctly or take a shot of tequila. I ended up doing about five while we were still pulling out of her neighborhood! I blacked out and woke up n the morning with half my big toenail ripped off and my foot caked with dried blood, all but 3 press on nails missing, remembering nothing. I thought I ended up not going to the bars and was home in bed by 10:30. but my fiance informed me that he picked me up at 2:30 and I had been bar hopping all night (after our crew was deemed to wasted to enter the bar where the band was playing. My husband said that he was afraid he would get pulled over on the way home and and the cop would think he had picked up a drunken hooker (I was in full jersey shore costume) he still married me!
ReplyDeleteIn Tuscaloosa in the 80s there was a bar that served something called a Crazy Bucket. It was a tin pail filled with ice. They put every kind of alcohol in it, filled it with beer and asked 'how many' and put that many cups on top. Me and 3 friends drank that thing dry and decided it would be fun to drive to New Orleans. 6 hours later we were in NO and no where near sobered up. We ended up with a car load of stolen stuff from bars and doing body shots in gay bars. It was hot and we were dancing in some fountain. We were escorted out of the city by the police and told not to come back.
ReplyDeleteaftershock, kahlua mudslide & straight everclear - vague recollections of being in the bathtub. woke up super sick & missed lunch w/ my mom. she figured out why & my bf/ now hubby admitted it & she laughed about it (I was 19). first & last hangover.
ReplyDeleteOMG, these stories are cracking me up! Congrats on your sobriety, Mary! Sadly, I have no story because I get sick if I drink more than a teeny bit of alcohol.
ReplyDeleteI have a few, none that I'm proud of.
ReplyDeleteOne was during a hurricane. A lot of people got in beer and liquor to hold hurricane parties, as we did. We lost power the second day and were partying pretty hard with just a radio and card games and a bounty of drink that we'd worked our way through fairly quickly. It was decided that I would make a food/beer/wine run and we were not even sure that any stores were open. I got in my car and drove in the rain (wind wasn't so bad, though we were still under hurricane warning) through town and everything was closed, so I crossed over the bridge to the mainland hoping to find a an open store selling alcohol. Well, at the west side of the bridge were two cop cars blocking any traffic headed east (i.e. back home!) I drove a round for a bit and verified that everything (restaurants, gas stations, everything!) was closed. Back at the foot of the bridge the cops were still blocking my passage back home. Luckily, my office was not far from there and I had a key and let myself in. Tried to call home but both my cell and the office phones were out. It was hot and airless (no electricity!) but I had no please else to go, so I fell asleep on a couch in one of the staff lounges. I woke up a few hours later and the cops had left their post at the base of the bridge and I made it back where my dumbass friends were more concerned that I didn't bring back any food than worried about me.
Another event was at yet another hurricane party we'd had just a week later (that year, 2004, we had hurricanes literally lining like planes lining up to land at an airport, and my house was boarded up for over two months.)
ReplyDeleteThe more hurricanes we'd had, in a strange way, the more the parties made sense, as we were getting the crap kicked out of us and had nothing to do other than evacuate or stay and make the best of it, protecting our property.
One friend had hooked up a generator, so we had limited power and weren't sweating to death, which was bliss. As the storm escalated, the drinking/card games did also as we tried to make the best of it. If there was no debris flying around outside we did stuff like dance wildly in the rain in various states of undress.
The morning of the 3rd day I woke up in my bedroom, lying half under my bookcase/television shelf, with no idea how it had happened. (I can only surmise that I'd been either sitting in my chair, or even on the floor, and tried to pull myself up by holding onto the bookcase and pulled it down upon myself.) I remember calling out once or twice for help...nothing. I woke up again about four hours later and was able to wiggle out from under the unit but was in no state to lift it. I was a bit bruised and had a gash on one foot, but no broken bones. I had to wait until the others were up before I could get help setting the bookcase to rights.
To this day I have no idea how I wound up pinned under that shelf.
i just want to say that the worst experience i had was a year and a half ago. i had just turned 30 and i was feeling odd and out of place. so i started an emotional affair with some guy i knew. big mistake! i knew it was wrong, so i ended it, and i still felt bad. in the mean time, my friend of 20 years asked me to hang out with this girl he wanted to date, and so i said 'ok!'
ReplyDeletewell, let me just say, to make a long story short, she was an alcohol lover and i was in a bad place, and she got me REALLY drunk! (yes, i know i could have said no, but i was in such a horrible place!) she got me so drunk, i don't remember any of that night...not passing out on my back, not having her wake up to find me choking on my vomit...not even the 45 minute ride home she gave me in my own car. i remember getting home, and my friend picking her up at my house.
the next day, i knew i was covered in vomit, but i had no idea what happened for 5 months! i had to ask this dumb bitch what happened, and when i asked, she told me i owed her $300 bucks for puking on her carpet. so i paid it, because my guilt was so huge.
i read all the other stories on here, and i feel like i am the only one who is scared SHITLESS that i almost died one night because i decided my guilt was just to heavy...yikes. i just told you guys more than i have ever told anyone...wowsa
I was 19 and didn't have much tolerance for alcohol. Three drinks and I would be so drunk that my vision was affected.
ReplyDeleteOne night, I had three beer, was plastered, and a group of us went to the restaurant where we worked to pick up our co-workers for a night out in Hull, Quebec (across the river from staid Ottawa).
We never left the restaurant. Someone decided it would be a good idea for all of us to have a B-52...by pouring it directly into our mouths while our heads were on the bar. I had eight of the generous pours, so I estimate that I had 16 ounces of kaluha/bailey's/grand marnier on top of the 3 beer earlier in the evening.
When the morning cook arrived for his shift at 6am, we decided it would be best to leave. I was so drunk I couldn't speak. My shoes had come off my feet and I was too drunk to put them back on. So I carried them as I walked through knee-deep snowbank to the cab. Thank gawd someone was with me and told the cab driver where I lived because I couldn't formulate words. Get to my house and I'm once again, I'm walking through snow in nylons.
Somehow I got in and even removed my contacts, but I have no memory of that.
I began vomiting soon after and at 9am, I received a call from a co-worker that our manager was doing liquor counts that day and we had to replace the empty bottles of kaluha, bailey's and grand marnier. I was nominated to do it and somehow, by 11am, I was at a liquor store purchasing the booze. The sight of the kaluha label sparked a round of vomiting (made it to the McDonald's washroom). Got to work with the booze just in time to learn the manager had completed the counts.
He figured out what happened and covered for us. I handed him the bottles and walked out becuase I still was so drunk that I had trouble speaking.
That night I had to bartend at another place and someone ordered b-52s. I couldn't do it and a waiter made them for me while I puked in the staff washroom.
I was in rough shape for a couple of days and looking back, I'm lucky I didn't die that night.
It took 15 years before I could look at a Kaluha bottle without a wave of nausea overwhelming me. That said, I still feel a queasiness when I see b-52s.
2. michele's story made me LOL. Got drunk on 7 year-old Caribou at a friend's place one afternoon. (If anyone has been to Quebec City's Winter Carnival, you may have had this drink. Like whiskey.) Boyfriend showed up after work and I was already passed out. They had to carry me on the cushion of the chaise longue I was on down a flight of stairs, and into his car. I remember the drive home because bf berated me the whole way and said I better not barf in his car. We got to my sister's driveway where I knelt down and barfed my steak dinner in a nice little pile beside the grate.
ReplyDeleteWhen I came to, bf was gone so I crawled to the bathroom just to lie on the tiles. I suddenly hear my BIL yell from outside that a large dog threw up its Ken-L Ration in their driveway. My sister kept walking back and forth to yell out at him (split level house). Each time she passed I tried to call out her name. She finally saw me move out of the corner of her eye then yelled out, "It wasn't a big dog, just Shakey!"
hosting xmas party for work, drank wine at the 'work party' , then did shots when they got to my house , passed out at 7 pm leaving my boyfriend with all the drunk coworkers...and he still married me ..AWWWWW
ReplyDeleteoh and another fun story ...wine coolers *i know* with my cousin....woke up the next morning with my boyfriends sweats and tshirt on ..went to livingroom where cousin and boyfriend called me 'flash" i said why...well apparently i went to bed the night before, then got up buck naked came out to 'visit' with cousin and boyfriend in livingroom...then went back to bed, puked in bed (hence being dressed ) ...ahhh good times lol
ReplyDeleteChrissy Buns, now that you've talked about it, I hope you can let it go. Be glad that things turned out okay, and chalk it up to a life lesson. :)
ReplyDeleteIt was August 1997 and I went on a fly-drive weekend to Paris. Went out and got hammered on cheap wine and stupidly decided to drive back to the hotel in my hired white Fiat.
ReplyDeleteRagging it fast through a tunnel and clipped this black Mercedes. Heard the screech of their brakes but didn’t look back. I’m sure everything was fine, but decided never to drink and drive again.