Every year I take this day to remember all the friends I have known who died of AIDS or are HIV+. For those of you who are say, below 30, you know the disease and that it is scary, but the fear and stigma that once was attached to a positive HIV test is not what it once was. Back in the day when you became HIV+, it was just a countdown to death. It was that weekly doctor visit to find out how your T Cell count was and when it was low enough to be called AIDS. It was taking AZT if you could afford it and watching your body break out in hives and rashes. The night sweats. Wasting away to nothing, helpless to do anything. Now, through education and billions of dollars in research and medical breakthroughs, it is not a killer for people in well off countries. For those who get infected in poorer countries, it is still a death sentence. Take today and learn about the disease. Learn about how it spread all over the world. Take 15 minutes and know why so much still needs to be done. Watch a movie. Philadelphia is a great one. And The Band Played On is great to show you the history of the disease and how it spread. Click here for more information on the day and what you can do.
Links to old posts for World AIDS Day on the fan page
ReplyDeletehttp://www.facebook.com/pages/Crazy-Days-and-Nights/171220712893400
R.I.P. Michael - you were taken too early by this disease.
ReplyDeleteSo true. I'm 32. That makes me one of the last Gen-X's born. AIDS defined Gen-X. We were raised from a very young age being taught that promiscuous sex could kill you. That simple. Pregnancy was no longer the main threat. You were going to die if you made one mistake. Sometimes you could die even if you didn't make that mistake. I remember being very aware of Ryan White and how this kid who received a blood transfusion wasn't going to see 20. And he didn't. My niece doesn't understand that mentality at all. She just turned 18. By the time she was 5 or 6 pop culture in the late 90s had just been re-sexualized with great force. (Think Brittany and Xtina) American Pie made it safe for teen movies to be cavalier about sex again.
ReplyDeleteIt's the same reason my niece doesn't seem to understand Rent. I mean, she likes it and all. She has seen the movie and a stage performance, but she has no emotional relationship to the idea that this plague was indiscriminately killing people and that so many people, especially on the coasts would get the news that a friend or a family member was diagnosed with HIV, and you started grieving their death RIGHT THEN.
I'm just rambling now, but I'm with you Enty. People need to not take for granted the progress that has been made in fighting this disease.
NEVER FORGET....we've lost too many good friends...
ReplyDeleteim def under 30, i don't know a single person with aids besides this kid that i've never met who is roommate's with the bff's friend. confusing, yeah, that's how far distanced from it i am. and i am thankful for it! not that i don't want to be exposed to it, i'm just glad that the people in my life aren't sick. i am very fortunate and have friends and family who are generally very healthy and safe.
ReplyDeleteMy mother died of AIDS in 1994. She was lucky to have insurance, but AZT did not work for her. She used to get the drug and give it to her doctor to give to someone who couldn't afford it. People are still shocked when I tell them what she died of and idiots say things like, "Tell me she got it from a transfusion." Like that would make it ok. Anyway, it's not a gay man's disease, it's not an African disease, and it doesn't matter how it was contracted. She died an agonizing death and we miss her every day. Please remember those who have died AIDS.
ReplyDeleteRIP - Uncle Ron. I'm just so thankful that it's not such a death sentence nowadays (at least in the US). I have many friends who are HIV+ but are able to live a fairly regular life.
ReplyDeleteI second the suggestion to watch "And the Band Played On" - infuriating yet great account of how discrimination towards gay people slowed down AIDS research.
ReplyDeleteRIP to everyone who was lost - the late, great Freddie Mercury always springs immediately to mind - gone too soon!
RIP Randy Shilts who died of AIDS after writing And The Band Played on.
ReplyDeleteVery well said Enty!
ReplyDeletethank you for the words you've written enty. well stated, all of it. my brother works in aids research and my uncle and his partner both died from the disease - but luckily after living long and productive lives.
ReplyDeletethere is so much work yet to be done.
It's sad when I read a few stories of people back then and how they died, I still think there's a lot to do to help people not only medically but socially, I feel there's still a lot of hypocrisy and shame. I don't know anyone with AIDS or HIV+ but those who do, I hope you can support them.
ReplyDeleteI've lost 3 friends from my days in New Orleans. It was heartbreaking to see them just waste away. RIP David, Donna, and Michael.
ReplyDeleteOh Cheryl, you just broke my heart. I am so sorry for you.
ReplyDelete@cheryl: what a wonderful woman your mother was, to give her medicine to someone else. that's one of the most unselfish things i have ever heard. someone's family got to spend more time with their loved one because of your mother's generosity.
ReplyDeleteRIP to my brother Keven who passed in 1997 from HIV complications after a long dance with heroin addiction... triggered by the discovery of being HIV+.
ReplyDeleteI wish he knew back then that one day it would not be a death sentence. by the time he was clean from heroin,he needed a kidney transplant and since he was positive he automatically was placed on the bottom of the waiting list and died 3 weeks later.
wear a condom, don't share needles and for god's sake EDUCATE yourself.
AIDS does not discriminate. 7000 people are infected everyday.
if you can't donate,then consider using a product (red) card for your starbucks purchases,it is no cost to you and goes to HIV meds in Africa.
The cocktail isn't an answer for everyone. Various combinations have not worked for a relative of mine. Counts below 100 with 2-3 hospital stays per year for the last five years. He's under 40.
ReplyDeleteRIP Robert and Norris.
I hope to God I never get AIDS. I wish no one ever got AIDS. The scariest thing about it is that there is no curing it. Even with cancer you've got a chance, this? Not so much.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a gen-x'er (just missed it by a hair), but am old enough to remember it being a topic on t.v and movies, even if I didn't fully comprehend it. I remember being scared of it, and I still am.
Just like jax said, be smart, use protection, don't share needles and educate yourself.
Jesus, this is a terrible topic.
:'(
RIP Jack N.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that HIV and AIDS doesn't have the same stigma it did 10 years ago. On the other hand I am saddened and troubled by all the people (that run the gamut from rock stars, and well paid athletes to teens) who don't use protection.
Ignorance is your worst enemy.
Thank you, Enty for posting this and thank you fellow CDANers for sharing your stories.
ReplyDeleteI am part of the Gen-X generation and have known too many people who have had their lives turned upside down from this disease. Some lost their lives, others continue to live but have had many of their hopes and dreams destroyed.
Still others have become more hopeful because they have survived what was once a death sentence and have been able to change their medications from a huge handful of pills down to a couple of pills a day. As one of my dear friends says, "how can I not approach each day as a blessing when I wasn't supposed to make it past 1995?"
In 1986, my gay friend was dating a man and discovered the boyfriend was HIV+ so immediately dumped him because he couldn't be 'fun'. I called his 'ex' to talk and we became wonderful friends. A few years later we were out drinking so I took him home to put him to bed safely. I kissed his forehead and hugged him goodnight and he broke down. He said that was the first time anyone hugged him in over a year. I made it a point to always hug him from that moment on.
ReplyDeleteHe said once he wished for a world where gay men could live out in the open and AIDS wasn't feared so much. I wish he were alive today to see how 25 years has made so much progress for gay rights.
I love you Nick.
*stands and applauds you for this post, enty*
ReplyDeleteit breaks my heart to read thru these comments and see that so many of us that have lost loved ones to aids...i include myself in that list, and also add myself to the hope list...that one day there will be a cure and, ignorance and discrimination will no longer be an issue.
Love and prayers to everyone sharing their stories. In 1994, there was still so much shame and secrecy about AIDS that I'm glad we can talk more openly about it. I'm 43, the same age my mother was when she died and I feel the need to live and accomplish so much because her life was cut short. Take care of each other.
ReplyDeleteRIP Scott, Craig, Glen, Uncle David, and my college freshman Lit professor.
ReplyDeleteAnd The band Played On is a fantastic movie, so sad but still one of my favourite films.
ReplyDeleteIt really made me think about what having AIDS meant for people when i was just a teenager without a clue
My sons are HIV positive.
ReplyDeleteThe stigma attached to this disease may be less than what it was 20 years ago but it's still there. My sons aren't even home yet (we're adopting them) and already we have seen negative reactions from people.
My sons will not infect you. There has NEVER been a case of infection from casual household contact. Children with HIV need families and support systems, not stigma and fear.
I am a 52 year old Baby Boomer. I worked in retail advertising in the 80's in New York City. A number of wonderful and talented gay men that I worked with died of Aids, One art director, Phil, was the first person I knew to fall ill, and it was so sad and scary to see him get sicker and sicker each day. At that time, it was spoken about in whispers and there was really not much doctors could do to treat it. For years, I gave charitable donations to The Gay Men's Health Crisis, an organization helping those who fell ill with the disease. I participated in their Walkathon for many years in memory of all my friends-- it was the very least I could do.
ReplyDeleteI first heard the term in 1986. I still tell students Magic Johnson's story, and his attempt at a comeback after his diagnosis. I agree with Ryan when he says kids today don't realize what it is and the lack of emotional and reality of the disease. I wanted to work with AIDS patients, but my parents forbade it. I regret those youthful digressions. Thank goodness research has come as far as it has.
ReplyDeleteI just turned 40 on Sunday. I'm still angry that I can't give blood. I'm a universal donor, I'm perfectly healthy, but I can't give blood because I'm a gay male. After all this time the stigma of HIV still lingers. The AMA has yet to remove this truly bigoted portion of their screening process, and it's all the more ridiculous since the blood is all tested anyway.
ReplyDeleteI will never forget my dear friend John Souza, so full of life and so ever sweet and sassy all at the same time.
ReplyDeleteAlso, my dear friends from SF Dignity.
Along with the excellent And the Band Played On, lets not forget Angels in America.
@Kait...you are amazing :)
ReplyDeletei'm 31, and i remember being TERRIFIED of getting HIV/AIDS, and not really understanding how difficult it really is to get the virus. i'm sure everyone my age watched the Ryan White movie in school, and it scared the pants off of me. not to mention watching Kid's! anyhoo, i have been in awe and amazement at the advances in science and technology that extend the lives of those unfortunate enough to catch the virus. rest in peace those we have lost.
I had no idea, Shawn. Is there a campaign of any kind that we can lend our support to so that this is changed?
ReplyDeleteI miss my Uncle Thom. I always will, and I think about him often. He was so bright and fun and full of life.
ReplyDeleteI will also always love my best friend Mike, who although being positive fought and won a battle against Non Hodgkins Lymphoma this past year. Every trip to that damn hospital in traffic and rain was worth every second to me.
There was a called "Slim" which ravaged Uganda and Kenya in the 1960s. not believe those who say it was "made up" to attack certain sectors. Whether it or HIV is beyond me.
ReplyDeleteDreadful thing, whatever it is.
Too many to count (but all remembered), since early 1985 when Charlie passed.
ReplyDeleteFUCK YOU Ronald Reagan.
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ReplyDeleteIt's heartbreaking to think of all the beautiful souls who've left this planet because of this horrible disease.
ReplyDeleteMost conspiracies are just that, but I'm not so sure this had to happen. You read about how during the Reagan administration the CIA targeted certain segments of the population by ensuring crack was readily available and systematically pumped into poor black neighborhoods.
I don't know - sometimes I wonder if the same sort of thing wasn't done to the gay community. If not, then it's criminal how certain people in positions of power refused to do anything at the beginning of the AIDS epidemic - and continue to do so by turning their heads away, or even make apalling "jokes" about this disease because of their hatred of gays.
RIP dear souls...
Shawn, that's crazy. I'm also wondering if there's some sort of petition/person we can lobby about that?!
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading "Furious Love" last night, about Elizabeth Taylor. She was truly an angel in helping gain recognition and raising funds for AIDS. In fact, they say by 1992, she had assisted the AIDS cause more than any other single person after having lost so many of her friends to the disease. Kudos to her.
Did anybody read or see on the news about the European man who has been cured of AIDS? Here's a link to an article: http://www.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7726118.stm
ReplyDeleteI was so happy when I heard this that I cried! I haven't known anyone w AIDS but this is fantastic news! I posted my elation on Enty's FB page and all I get is some twat who says the only cure for AIDS is drinking rubbing alcohol! Um, that's totally inappropriate for the topic at hand. I hope you all can appreciate this news.