The Goopster Is Cold - Wants To Sell You Things
Although I have not written about GOOP, I still read it every week. It just has seemed to evolved into finding things to talk about that The Goopster can sell. This week is literally three lines from Gwyneth followed by a heavy sell of winter boots. This is the entirety of her message.
Cozy Shoes
I don’t know how it is where all of you are, but I am freezing my ass off. I will be relying heavily on my cozy winter boots to get me through to spring, however far off it may seem. Here are some of my favorites.
Love,
gp
That's it. I wish she could have talked about how she did not have much of an ass to freeze and if she actually ate something with some fat in it then she might not be as cold. Oh, and she is trying to sell us these boots to keep warm, but obviously if she is freezing her ass off, then how good could they be? And since when do boots cover your ass? Maybe in her world they do. If you have an extra $1K you can get some of her favorites. But, if you can't afford her favorites, then she says you could make do with some bargain ones.
Lol I read this newsletter this morning. I don't buy leather goods, so I took special note of the only animal-free pair of boots she featured - Stella McCartney for $625/pair. Uh, yeah. I don't think there was one pair for under $100. Thanks anyway for the suggestions, Gwynnie.
ReplyDeleteShut up, Fishsticks.
ReplyDeleteWe all know that fishsticks are frozen.
ReplyDeleteI love me some boots, but the only pair that didn't look hideous on that page were the TopShop pair. But then again, I've never understood the fascination with UGG (short for UGGLY) boots.
ReplyDeleteFor work right now I'm putting together pricing for selling ads in twitter feeds. I can't help but wonder how much GP gets for a product push in her email. Anyone know?
Goopie....Stick it !
ReplyDeleteDitto Valerie! And TopShop shoes are made in India. Give me a break! Shut up Goop.
ReplyDeleteThanks fishstick for deigning to tell me that if I can't afford her choices then I would have to "make do" with bargain ones. How kind of you to think of the little people.
ReplyDeleteI want to be delusional too!!! Damn my life and my middle class, Target shopping reality.
ReplyDeleteShe is just so out of touch with the real world. STFU Fishy.
ReplyDeleteI have a sudden urge to turn Fishsticks into Sushi.
ReplyDeleteOK - ALL CAPS CAUSE I REALLY WANT TO KNOW:
ReplyDeleteWHY IS SHE CALLED 'FISHSTICKS'?
thank you, that is all.
xoxo
She lives in the UK. How cold can it possibly get there? Try living here where it was a balmy -18c last night with the windchill...and I live in one of the most southern points in Canada!
ReplyDeleteFail.
@knova
ReplyDeleteMK at Dlisted called her that many, many moons ago. I think he said something like she looks like a fishstick, and it stuck. Google "fishsticks dlisted" and something should come up.
here:
ReplyDelete"Everyone always asks me why I call Gwyneth Paltrow, Fishsticks?! Well, one of my favorite gossip whore, Ted Casablanca, gave her this nickname a few years ago and it just stick with me. Gwyneth isn't a Gwyneth, she's a Fishstick! I really just want to dip her in tartar sauce. I can't take credit for this genius name, it's all thanks to Ted C."
I think the key to the nickname was that she is also very cold. Thin, beige and frozen is fairly accurate as nicknames go:)
ReplyDeleteIf you've been on the gossip blogs forever, you know that the fishstick nickname was originally given to Tara Reid because she drank like a fish and looked like a stick. I don't remember which blog it was. Ted C. then gave the name to Goopy.
ReplyDeletehee hee. you guys are the best. that's too funny.
ReplyDeletetrue - gwyneth is such a waste of a beautiful welsh name to give to her.
for $625.00 you can buy a fucking woodstove and put your feet in front of that!
ReplyDeletetool!
No, Fishsticks comes from Running With Scissors. Then one of the bloggers tagged her with it and it's stuck.
ReplyDeleteCan't stand the stinking fishstick hahaha
ReplyDeleteUGG slippers look a hell of a lot better than UGG ugly boots. I have three pairs, and I went out this morning with nothing on my feet but those slippers. Kept them toasty warm. Love 'em.
ReplyDeleteThen again, Goopy wouldn't look at them, since they're $100 and just under (which is a big chunk of paycheck for normal folks, but chicken scratch for her).
And what's with those kiddie boots? I will NOT buy my daughters UGGs until they're teens. Not paying $75 and up for something that they'll outgrow in one season. Ridiculous.
Fishsticks is here in Chicago filming.
ReplyDeleteAs usual, anything that smug twat says or does makes me want to punch her right in the mouth.
ReplyDeleteLove how she notes that there's an affordable pair of one style of booties for $190, but she has a similar Burberry pair that costs $1,095. Rest assured, Princess Gwynnie, we never for one moment thought you would ever stoop to wearing the cheaper pair.
@ Valerie - I wouldn't be surprised to find that Paltrow gets paid for hawking wares on her blog but I'll bet that she actually gets compensated with lots of swag.
I LOVE boots but MY GOD, who needs that many pairs?????
ReplyDeleteI just signed up for the newsletter. She is very entertaining.