Attention All New York Jets And Giants Players
This is an important announcement for all New York Jets and Giants players. Kim Kardashian will be in New York for the next two months filming another installment in the train wreck known this time as Kim & Kourtney Take New York. If you are a player on either team and wish to gain fame for being known as the next in a line of pro football players which she has dated, Kim will be accepting applications throughout her time in New York.
For all of you big offensive and defensive line guys who struggle in anonymity, well I'm guessing you will have to stay there. She wants someone who can make her more famous. I'm guessing this will preclude all kickers and guys who only play on special teams. Practice squad guys? Out of luck. Also, she prefers a winner so, Giants players you probably need to win a couple more to have a shot. I don't think she is going to want to kick out all your friends and family from your private box into the cold and replace them with hers for a guy on a .500 or losing team. Just saying.
Also, if you are not selected the first time, don't worry. This show has more staying power than a cockroach so chances are good that by the time it does finally run its course most of the NFL will have a shot at dating her.
Perks include the following:
1. Hearing about the glory days of athletics and face lifts from Bruce Jenner;
2. Getting to meet Scott Disick;
3. Hair tips from Ryan Seacrest;
4. At least one cover of a tabloid talking about how you made Kim pregnant or how she wants to be pregnant; and
5. At least one court side seat to a Lakers game where you can sit between Kris and Khloe while they tell you how much they hate Scott but love Mason.
As a special bonus, if you act right now you can get the entire Lamar Odom t-shirt line. That is a $9.95 value. All you pay is shipping.
Hands off Mark Sanchez. He's mine.
ReplyDeleteAttention All Bed Bugs! Attack!
ReplyDeleteAnd I think I just officially became a cougar with that last statement. If I am 12 years older, does that make me a cougar (apart from being somewhat depraved)?
ReplyDeleteKourtney looks ugly in that picture, and I usually think she is pretty.
ReplyDeleteKim's face is so freakin plastic it is a joke!
I hate Ryan Seacrest. Will he please stop giving these worthless stupid skanks shows?
"has more staying power than a cockroach" Great line!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Well done.
ReplyDeleteLooks like someone had their makeup gun set to "whore" again.
ReplyDeletei thought kim was rachel uchitel (or however you spell her name) at first!
ReplyDeleteBest. Post. Ever.
ReplyDeleteThis has to be one of the best posts I'v seen in a long time. It ranks right up there with the Dear Richard posts. Speaking of which - I could really use one of those this week. hint hint = )
ReplyDeleteBwahahahaha!!!! I am at work and I had to leave my cube I was laughing so hard. Another home run Enty!
ReplyDeleteWho the heck watches these idiots?
ReplyDeleteHa, ha:
captivagrl said...
Attention All Bed Bugs! Attack!
that so does not look like kourtney. her face looks super elongated.
ReplyDeleteThis is the best post I have ever read on this site!
ReplyDeleteKim is starting to look like a caricature of herself.
ReplyDeleteWell done Enty. Great post.
ReplyDeleteMy one wish for 2011...Seacrest and his team of reality stars along with the Hilton family take a cruise and are lost at sea. Kinda like Gilligan's Island--except I don't want to see them ever again. If that can't happen, maybe some gossip bloggers will stop covering this family's every move.
ReplyDeleteThere is one of the Birkins.
ReplyDeleteKim looks more like her mother every day. And she isn't even the oldest one!
ReplyDeleteDO NOT WISH THESE 2 ON MY NY JETS!!! Ugh!
ReplyDeletelol
ReplyDeleteI refuse to believe that is a female next to Kim. A female impersonator, perhaps, yes.
ReplyDelete