Friday, September 10, 2010

Ted C Blind Item

Don't you just hate it when Hollywood stars start acting like their moralistic poop doesn't stink? You know, like the Midwestern evangelical-types hating on all things gay when they're having drugged-out sex themselves with masseurs and restroom johns?

How sad that Mooney Van Dangle, megasuccessful movie star, has now added his name to this sorryass roster of judgers who live in glass houses...

Mooney, who's been very adept at hiding his private life—which consists of randy things Seymour Plow-Me-More would be most impressed by—has recently been in the news for coldly condemning a few of his relatives, one in particular for her arguably skanky behavior. Well, if certain sex clubs' walls could talk!

Typically, in Hollywood/civilian battles past, the poor relation has been treated badly by the press because she's (a) not famous and (b) a woman. Never a good combo in quick-to-judge America. After all, Mooney is not only very wealthy, professionally celebrated and quite well-known, he's a man! So, he must be the one who's right in this battle of headlines, right?

Wrong.

Just put it this way: If the gullible readers gobbling up these supposedly lurid accusations (regarding the woman's activities) had any idea what her blood-related detractor was up to, they'd certainly see there's another side to this unfortunately morally played-out story.

Like, maybe those who live to expose, strut and display their family jewels—and get it on with guys in public places (jeez, what has Seymour started, already, a damn testosterone trend, or what?)—shouldn't be throwing sanctimonious stones?

Let's be clear, we don't have a problem with what either fighting side's up to here—we don't judge, whatever floats somebody's hoochy boat—that's up to them. But when one of the castigators starts acting like he doesn't know his way around the salacious sides of life, well, that's just what the Awful Truth is for.

And It Ain't: Kevin Costner, John Travolta, John Mayer

34 comments:

  1. Ted, you lost me at "we don't judge". Bullshit. That's what you do for a living, just admit it.

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  2. Laurence Fishburn and his skanky daughter Montana.

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  3. GREAT guess Stacy. I with you.

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  4. Laurence Fishburne!

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  5. Lawrence Fishburne for the win! The apple doesn't fall very far from the tree.

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  6. I have to admit, Fishburne was the first name to pop into my head.

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  7. Was this one too easy?

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  8. I agree that was a good guess, but it says he has coldly condemned a few of his relatives and Fishburne has only discussed his daughter, that I am aware of. Also, has it been proven or rejected that Ted C tries to match syllables(sp?).

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  9. This stinks of Fish!

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  12. So who are the other relatives Fishburn would be condemning??
    "condemning a few of his relatives"
    I can't find anything on any of his other relatives. Fishburn would be too easy, don't you think? But, he came to my mind first too.

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  13. See first thing that came to my mind is Michael Lohan... who certainly does have a few relatives

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  14. Seymour's been given away in the "it ain't"s, hasn't he?

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  15. JS, Recently Ted all but revealed Moisty Mohr to be Robin Leach, so I don't think he matches syllables in the names.

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  16. See, I am not thinking so much Fish, I am thinking someone else, maybe from the Baldwin's. Papa Lohan is too stupid. He would just go on TMZ or call Ryan Secrest. I hope this one is in the reveals!

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  17. Does Ted do reveals?

    I really love the Fishburne guess. I wonder if Ted put in the part about "a few relatives" just to throw us off and not make it too obvious. Because then he just talks about the one.

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  18. Its funnny years ago I was in New Orleans partying when walking down Bourbon street coming out a reputably sleazy bar was none other than Laurence Fishburne, LOL For years I knew he went both ways so this BI is so the TRUTH!

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  19. LOL @ MM...are there any other kind of bars on Bourbon St?

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  20. Did anyone else read the Seymour/Travolta post Ted did yesterday? He seemed to be outright saying that Seymour is NOT Travolta...or was he??

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  21. The only other person I think of that's had public family issues is Christian Bale, but I don't think his mom or sister have been in the news for 'skankiness'.

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  22. Anonymous1:32 PM

    uh huh MM, right... so the sleazy bar was a gay bar? uh huh.

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  23. RQ, I couldn't tell if he was outing JT or not with that one.

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  24. There are gay bars on Bourbon St.

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  25. There have been bi rumors about LF for years. Very quiet downlow rumors mostly on the urban oriented gossip sites (which I was attacked for mentioning in reference to Halle)

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  26. @calif - just read it again on BlindGossip - the majority of commenters over there seem to think Ted was outright outing JT as Seymour in a cheeky way. Maybe.

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  27. Fishbourne is definitely the easy guess, but I just don't think it is him. For one thing, besides his initial statement when the sex tape was announced, has Laurence Fishbourne had anything else bad to say about his daughter? And even then, I didn't think he sounded cold, just disappointed - as I would think *most* parents would be upon hearing the news.

    I have no idea who it is supposed to be, but I'm passing on Laurence Fishbourne.

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  28. that sounds like someone who is very moralist and the woman seems trashy so i say Fishburne and his porn actress daughter

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  29. @Kate Moisty Mohr and Robin Leach do have the same number of syllables, if you pronounce Mohr like Jay Mohr... right?

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  30. I was going to bring that up, mo pie. Yes, the number of syllables are the same. I don't know if he ALWAYS does it, though.

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  31. and Mel gibson? trouble with relatives(police,divorce,ex-girlfriend) and he's very catholic

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  32. Oh my, you guys are good! I would've never thought of Laurence Fishburn, even though it's sort of obvious now that I think of it, but that is an excellent guess.

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  33. LF is probably right, but just to throw something random out there for ships and giggles, what about Oscar De La Hoya/Daisy De La Hoya?
    He's not "Hollywood," but it popped in my head for some reason.

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