Ted C Blind Item

It's the oldest story in Hollywood: sex for hire. But unlike some other Blind Vice candidates we've covered over the sleazy years, Bernadine Couch-Butt's Tinseltown rise didn't involve any sex that was contractually required. Bernie snagged her big, successful horny director man the old-fashioned way: wearing a nightie. Yep, a see-through job just happened to be what Bernadine was wearing when they first met, lucky for Bernie.

Because she's now well on her way to donning equally lusty outfits in...

A meaty role in Attack of the Mopey Mothballs, her lover's latest über-gizmoed-out mega hit!

Funny, though, nobody'll ever really remember Bernie, once Mothballs V, VI and VII come out, a fact Bernadine's blithely dismissing from her pretty little head. But Bernie and big director man are still going at it—on the set, on call, on the funny stuff, whenever and wherever! Who needs to think about things like a future when you're getting laid and you're famous all at the same time, right?

Well, Bernie sure should.

Nobody's getting hurt in this adults-only game; neither lover has a steady partner. But what's totally rich in this typical Hollywood story is how totally fried Bernie's going to get once she's tossed aside, as she will be.

We're only going by experience here when we say this. You see, every one of Bernie's legions of predecessors have not only been ruthlessly discarded by their horny hiring dude, but they've been tarnished and black-listed, as a result.

Only one of these women has survived the taint and gone on to make a name for herself.

Not great odds for our poor, gorgeous Ms. Couch-Butt.

And It Ain't: Ashley Greene, Blake Lively, Vanessa Hudgens