While Cruella was busy buying herself new boobs, two things happened: 1) She knew she'd never have to worry about the bill, and, 2) she knew it would help her in her life-long mission numero uno: to stay vital, sexy and—most importantly—ahead of the game in the press.
See, media coverage is so important to Cruella, she'll do anything to be portrayed as the sympathetic sexy muffin she most certainly ain't.
She's even stooped low enough to...
Barter her own children!
Yep, absolute fact: Cruella's offspring have not only complained that they will "go to the press" if they get used for any more press (mainly photo ops), but, the mom who makes Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest look like June Friggin' Cleaver also trades information on her kiddies out to journalists, just so they'll write nicer, more wholesome copy about her.
I'm sorry, but, maybe we could give a little breather to the outrage we all feel towards gay actors who intentionally lie about their sexuality, in order to get ahead. 'Cause whoring out your children (ya know, involving others in your hunger for stardom who arguably have no choice in the matter) is just as bad, if not far worse.
Oh, and if you're wondering why one of the many men in Cruella's storied life doesn't swoop in and do something about how she uses her kiddos like magazine-copy currency, well, let's say the one who's best able to (as he's got the deepest pockets and the most fame) is already pretty legally encumbered, and busy, as it is.
Getting those Titanic-sized monthly checks to Cruella is pretty much a Herculean effort in itself, you know. And, girlfriends, does she ever cash them—can't wait to see what St. Shackles' next set of knockers look like!
And It Ain't: Tatum O'Neal, Jada Pinkett Smith, Melanie Griffith
Demi Moore
ReplyDeleteI have no clue but definitely would love to know who this chick is.
ReplyDeleteSharon Stone?
ReplyDeleteI never know with Ted C...
I read somewhere that Cruella is Nicole Kidman???
ReplyDeleteI think Nicole Kidman makes the most sense.
ReplyDeleteDoes Nicole even talk about her kids anymore? I thought I remembered thinking this was Catherine Zeta-Jones but she doesn't do a lot of press, or press about her kids that I'm aware of.
ReplyDeleteIs this the same one who is horrible to her staff?
I don't see Kidman here.
ReplyDeleteShe may be seen with Sunday but that is not som ething that would concern Tom Cruise - and she is NEVER seen with the kids she has with Cruise.
How can she be accused them for photo ops (to the point of the kids complaining) if she is never seen with them?
I thought DEFINATELY Nicole Kidman untill about half way through when its decribes her children as "offspring". Her children, except for the baby (maybe), are adopted. So it can't be her since her kid aren't her "offspring".
ReplyDeletekids*
ReplyDeleteWell, it's not Angelina. Her kids wouldn't know what a press release even was yet, they're too young to threaten things like that.
ReplyDeleteBesides, her knockers are just fine the way they are. I doubt she'd need to hanve anyhting done to them.
I can't keep up with Ted & I don't read his blinds except for here, so I'm not 100% sure but he HAS mentioned Cruella many times before, right? Anyone remember what the guesses were then? I have no clue.
ReplyDeleteAnd for the record I just can't see this being Nicole. I don't have any REASON for that hehe, I just can't.
I'll go Kate Hudson here. Two out of three of the "nots" are children of famous people.
ReplyDeleteDenise Richards
ReplyDeleteOrange Oprah
ReplyDeletenicole is rarely seen with her adopted kids...and obs sunday aint' talking to the press. Who else gets a nice support check, is looking fuller in the chest and has multiples?
ReplyDeleteDemi fits. and I like Jennifer Garner for this ..damn you ted i just dont' know lol
Kimora Lee and Russell Simmons
ReplyDeleteHow about Mrs. Beckham? Kids are hardly ever with her, but the press always seems to know where David and the kids are...
ReplyDeleteHard to imagine a celebrity couple with kids (plural, as in not Suri) in the news more, mostly without mom.
2 guesses: The KKK/Klapdaashian Klan, or Gasbag Gosslin. Those moms seem the worst ever.
ReplyDeleteheatherhug, it really does seem to scream Denise Richards, doesn't it? How do young children threaten to go to the press, though - that's the only reason why I don't think it's her.
ReplyDeleteI don't see Potatohead in photos much anymore and the other Willis children are pretty low-key. Who has the deepest pockets and most fame now, Bruce or Ashton?
If only this was Dina Lohan.
this has got to be about kids who are old enough to go to the press....don't see it being any of the guesses provided so far....except for Demi, which I don't see much press with her and her kids except for red carpet events occasionally.
ReplyDeleteI would love for this to be Kris Jenner, but her kids love the press.
yeah, good call. So kids gotta be older, and the ex in this whole thing has to be more famous and more "legally encumbered." Does that mean he's re-married? in legal trouble?
ReplyDeleteThat's why it can't be Dina Lohan or Kate Gosselin, there exes can't afford Burger King, let alone alimony and child support.
ReplyDeleteEven though their kids aren't old enough to fit the BI, I'd further rule out Denise Richards as I doubt Charlie Sheen is gay (other Cruelle BIs) and as for Kate Hudson, I doubt Chris Robinson is gay and I would assume Kate has more money than he does.
I have to go with Demi Moore.
Ooops, *their* exes....
ReplyDeleteVictoria B has her kids with her a lot. They are old enough to be in school though and when they come out of the airport they send the kids & nanny through a separate exit to avoid paps so there are going to be constant photos.
ReplyDeleteI do think it's someone with kids old enough to call the press and talk to them.
I'm going w/ Danielle Staub or Countess De Lessops, like Cruella De Ville
ReplyDeleteThis might be a silly guess, but what about Pam Anderson? She has had multiple boob jobs and her boys are older. But I don't read enough about her to see if she sells out her kids.
ReplyDeleteI think Kidman makes the most sense - she is apparently bearding for someone, and I think Urban would make more sense than Kutcher, but I don't see Nicole in a lot of photo ops with her two kids with Tom??
ReplyDeleteI'm going to go with Kimora Lee.
ReplyDeleteNicole Kidman was a popular guess for previous Cruella blinds but she doesn't really fit here. Firstly she is seldom photographed with her kids, virtually never with the older children who appear to be in Tom Cruise's custody. Secondly I'm not sure she is getting or dependent on big cheques from Tom Cruise. Supposed they divorced before the ten year anniversary that would have enriched her pre-nup. Consequently Denise Richards seems to be the best guess. She certainly appears to be surgically enhanced. She is always photoed with her kids and Charlie sheen stopped her from using them on her reality show. Her income depends on alimony and child support. Rumors as to how she got started in Hollywood would, if true, certtainly include many men. Finally Charlie Sheen certainly is legally encumbered (and apparently Denise used that situation to get sole custody of the children).
ReplyDeleteIt can't be Denise Richards; her kids are like four and five years old, tops. The children the blind mentioned would have to be at least ten or twelve at the youngest.
ReplyDelete..."give a little breather to the outrage we all feel towards gay actors who intentionally lie about their sexuality" Maybe for you Teddy-bore. Umm, how is hiding your own homosexuality as bad as pimping out your own kids? Wtf is with this guy? Just b/c some people choose to keep their sexual preferences private and personal, doesn't make them bad people. If Ted kept his mouth shut as often, the world would be a better place.
ReplyDeleteOT, I am seeing things about Isabella Cruise wanting to live with Nicole because she hates Katie. I am going with the Demi guess.
ReplyDeleteI like Kpist's guess of Danielle Staub. This past season, between all her drama with the other RHONJs, and her sex tape, I seem to recall her saying a lot of stuff to the effect of 'It's just not right to involve my kids in it!' and 'I just want to protect my kids!' Yet she always hauls her 2 girls (the eldest is 15, certainly old enough to complain about going to the press) around with her as she stalks the other ladies, goes to boxing classes and pretends to beat up Teresa, and talks crap on the other women - which is all pretty sad. She also has them on the show a lot, including footage of Christine's modeling gigs, dinners with both of them, etc. And she just got her boobs redone and certainly has had lots of male partners according to the show anyway.
ReplyDeleteExcept... I don't know if she brings her girls out for 'photo op's - that can't mean 'being filmed for the show', can it? And I don't know what 'fame' might mean with respect to this man - if infamy as a drug dealer counts, maybe one of her past associates fits? And third, I don't know when Ted started writing about Cruella; if it was before Danielle's time on the show, this guess is totally wrong I suppose!
I think it's definitely Demi Moore. She has clearly had a lot of work done and has only recently admitted to a few minor procedures.
ReplyDeleteAshton would be the gay husband she married after doing her boobs the first time (from last item).
Bruce Willis would be the more famous & wealthier ex who is paying support. Remarried could be 'encumbered' and he's been doing a lot of movies lately.
Tabloids would be interested in gossip about her daughters Rumor & Scout plus they are old enough to complain.
"...complained that they will "go to the press" if they get used for any more press (mainly photo ops)..."
ReplyDeleteWhy can't I think of a single person who seems to use their kids for photo ops?
Denise Richards? Her kids are like 5 and 6. How would they threaten to go alert the media about something?
Nicole Kidman? I thought it was fairly common knowledge that she has basically abandoned the 2 oldest kids with Tom. Stories came out years ago that they no longer called her mom, but called her Nicole instead, and the fact I don't think she has been photographed with either of them in years and years. So how would she be using them for photo ops?
I would 100% agree this is Danielle Staub, except for the fact Ted lists "And it ain't: Tatum O'Neal, Jada Pinkett Smith, Melanie Griffith"
Pretty sure it's not a reality star if he listed 3 legit actresses.
Probably more made-up BS from Ted.
There are very few people who whore out their kids. Nicole Kidman is not one of them. She doesn't even see Tom's kids, and her own baby stays under wraps, so it's not her.
ReplyDeleteI can think of a few people that dothis, one is Jennifer Garner. It seems that Violet is an accessory.
jesus, i know people here hate nicole kidman but this is NOT her. and her estrangement (if there is one) from her adopted kids isn't her doing, IMO. i think that's a 'scientology thang.'
ReplyDeleteso she's not exploiting her kids---her birth child or adopted kids or any kids whatsoever.
Jennifer Garner doesn't pimp out her kids. Besides, did she get any $$$ out of her ex? She was the star of the show, not him. It can't be Denise Richards because she's not married.
ReplyDeleteAs for Demi, she got her breasts done years ago. She wa totally flat in Ghost but that didn't last long. Ted also ruled out Victoria Beckham.
Agree with Nancer about Kidman. She didn't abandon her kids. Their father forced them to abandon her because of Scientology. So sad.
ReplyDeleteOT, Demi Moore seems to fit this blind. "Bartering" her own kids could mean giving the tabs info on them and not just using them for photo ops. There have been plenty of blinds about Rumer and Scout, so it's possible Demi, or her people leaked them in return for good reportage on herself.
I doubt Demi, because like others have mentioned, according to past blinds, the husband is supposedly gay. However, I have a friend who met Ashton at a party that was pretty much a big orgy, and he had sex with her and 2 other girls.... so at most, he's bi. haha. This was before that 70's show, so she didn't know who he was.
ReplyDeleteWeirdly, and for no clear reason other than that she actually sort of looks like Cruella, Lisa Marie Presley came to mind this time. (But her mother makes more sense.)
ReplyDeleteI always thought Cruella was Nicole, until this blind. I've never seen her whore out her kids. But the "And it Ain't"s make me think the actress is over 35. So, just throwing out some names: Kelly Preston, Sadie Frost, Gwen Stefani (whoring out the love child?), Susan Sarandon, Tea Leoni...??
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was Madonna with her new Material Girl clothing line and Lola, but it now sounds like Demi Moore.
ReplyDeleteThis is totally Demi Moore...ex hubby Bruce is being sued right now over that stupid rug he stained! And the 'sympathetic' comment would be about her saving peoples lives on twitter....whatever! She did make a whole whack of cash off Bruce when they divorced, and for years the rumor has been that Ashton is gay.
ReplyDeleteDemi Moore sprang to mind immediately but on second thinking I don't know that it can be her. Doesn't Rumer whore herself out to the media herself?!
ReplyDeleteThis one smells like Denise Richards,for sure, especially since Charlie Sheen is involved in his own drama right now. He did get the kids off the reality show... ages 4 & 5 is old enough to make it pretty clear what they want & don't want. Maybe they told their father they didn't want to be part of the show. Also, the kids look REALLY unhappy at those photo ops in the park, etc.
ReplyDeleteits demi. Barter her kids..she probably committed them to shows/work they didnt want to be in on..as a trade off for good press about herself...
ReplyDelete