I will say this for the movie critics of America. When they don't like something or someone they will certainly let you know it, and in the most imaginative of ways. With as many people who don't like Miley Cyrus in The Last Song you would think their criticism would become redundant or boring. It isn't. Critics have great imaginations.
"Allegedly, this is the film in which Cyrus gets all, like, dramatic. If by 'dramatic' one means pouty, sullen, and cute, then OK." - Boston Globe
To their credit, the Boston Globe also hated the movie so didn't put the entire onus on Miley for the film totally not being worthy of your time.
The New York Times isn't as kind. "Acting, for the moment at least, seems almost entirely beyond her...she pouts, slouches, storms in and out of rooms and occasionally cracks a snaggle-toothed smile, but most of the time she seems to be mugging for the camera, play-acting rather than exploring the motives and feelings of her character."
You want more? She probably doesn't care because she made millions whether anyone goes to see it. And if people do go to see it, she will get paid millions more dollars to do just as bad next time.
Can you handle some more? Oh, Variety had a good one. "Miley "hasn't yet learned not to act with her eyebrows and overbite."
The New York Post says Miley is as bad as Britney Spears was in Crossroads. But the worst comment is probably from The Village Voice who says, "I can't recall ever squirming as much as I did during Ronnie and Will’s first kiss; shiny, buff Hemsworth looks like he's locking lips with an Andy Hardy–era Mickey Rooney in a wig."
Mickey Rooney in a wig...BWAAHHHH
ReplyDeleteHA! That was funny. Unfortunately it will most likely be a hit at the box office.
ReplyDeleteThe point is, Enty, is that MILEY thinks she's fabulous. Soon she'll learn that all her little pre-teen fans grow up and their brains develop and they realize that Miley really isn't that good. That's when the stripper pole comes into play, I suppose. It's sanctioned by her parents..
ReplyDeleteNo one can cut your heart up, and have everyone laughing at you, like the gays. Insult, meet injury.
ReplyDeleteClassic.
oh shitballs! this made my morning.
ReplyDeleteLOL@Village Voice
ReplyDeleteLoved (LOVED) the Andy Hardy comparison!
ReplyDeleteHowever, mngddess is right--Miley is oblivious to her many shortcomings and she'll brush off the criticism because she's surrounded by sycophants who will feed her some garbage about people being jealous of her.
I really hope it bombs. Please, kids of America, reject it! Return to sender. Just say no!
NO SURPRISE....IN A FEW YEARS THE SO CALLED CUTENESS WILL BE OVER AND SO WILL SHE...HOPEFULLY SOONER
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAH
ReplyDeleteOh Variety, you slay me!!
Enty,
ReplyDeleteThanks for rounding up these reviews. FABulous!
Ok, that makes EW all the less credible: And here's the revelation: Miley Cyrus is a really interesting movie star in the making, with an intriguing echo-of-foghorn speaking voice, and a scuffed-up tomboyish physicality (in the Kristen Stewart mode) that sets her apart from daintier girls in her celebrity class. As Ronnie, turning moods on a dime the way girls her age do, Cyrus sustains a perfectly believable demonstration of post-high-school, precollege female longing. She shows anger, vulnerability, defensiveness. And she anchors a serviceable idealized drama about how a loving relationship between a father and daughter paves the way for that lucky daughter to one day find adult love.
ReplyDeleteIt's Nicholas fucking Sparks. I'd be more disappointed if she had done a good job.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Theresa, there went my lunch.
ReplyDeleteAre Miley's 15 seconds up yet? Pretty please?
ReplyDeleteI think Miley's people have convinced her she is the next Meryl Streep. She is just a kid who got a lucky break with Disney.
ReplyDeleteI think she bit off (pun intended) more then she is ready for. Nothing this girl has done has failed in Disney terms. She needs to learn the lesson Hillary Duff learned. Once you leave the Mouse House nobody really cares about you anymore.
We may have to suffer through another movie or two like this, but not much more than that. Her best bet would be to take the millions she's made and run with it. If she was a little bit smarter and not so addicted to celebrity, she would do just that.
ReplyDeleteI just about wet my pants at the Village Voice review.
ReplyDeleteI'll never see it so I guess I'll never know...*L*
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, I dislike Miley as much as the next person, but she is still a child. If you don't like the movie - no worries, but there isn't a reason to attack her looks, I don't think. Just imagine if someone said this to you, when you were still in your teens. Now imagine reading it with the rest of the world. I don't mean to be a kill joy, but I just don't think it's necessary.
ReplyDeleteHa! These were great.
ReplyDeleteI actually read the E! review which echoed the first review posted here, and they always provide a "180 review" at the end. This time:
"180 Review: On the other hand, Greg Kinnear is always good."
I laughed my ass off.
i blame the people who put her in the movie---not her. she even said she needs acting lessons.
ReplyDeletenot a fan, but hey, someone cast her, someone directed her, saw the dailies and put out this movie. she didn't do any of that.
Girls in high school are just as mean to one another, if not more so since they know each other personally! The critics are correct in giving her criticism for her acting ability (as they see it). She's put herself in a grown up world (or her parents have) and she has to accept the consequences. She would get the same sort of teasing (or giving the same sort of teasing) in any high school in America. It's not nice and, as the parent of teenaged girls, I don't like it, but that's how it is.
ReplyDelete@ellapetal - I'm missed the attack on her looks part of your post, just seeing the attack and I'm apologizing now for missing that, even though I haven't posted yet. LOL. I agree that we shouldn't attack her looks, however her acting ability is another matter. She needs to learn as soon as possible (just like the rest of us 'normal' people had to do) what she is good at and what she isn't.
Annnnddd....I'm spent. ;-)
Nancer, blame Nicholas Sparks. He wrote the screenplay for her, then wrote the book later.
ReplyDeleteIsn't she the blind about the boy friend going big and getting ready to dump her?
ReplyDeletethanks, mooshki. then nicholas sparks is a moron.
ReplyDelete(and he writes awful books, too.)
two weeks ago, a couple of us decided to get plastered (and i mean that in the extreme sense of the word) and watch miley for the first time, in that movie of hers (the best of two worlds???). So we drank about (undisclosed amounts) and got to the point where we laughed at the sight of our own toes, and watched it, and it was STILL terrible.
ReplyDeleteLast Summer I went to Tybee Island and watched them shoot this flick for a few days. I thought my daughters would enjoy the vacation and seeing Miley make a real movie. BAD idea (but I think I broke them from idolizing her!lol).
ReplyDeleteIt was beyond painful to observe during the scenes, as ZERO chemistry existed between the leads. Miley (and her family/entourage) seemed more obsessed with partying and PR than focusing on good performances. Her agents were near seizures with aggrevation. This couldda been the chance for her to break out and cement a solid future. But you can take the girl out of the trash, but can't take the trash outta the girl!
The director is a British drama queen TV hack incapable of eliciting honest emotion; and the script was developed/tortured by the two producers/writers who gave us such classic Zac Efron gems as "17 Again". I DESPISE Adam Shankman. Total parasite. Hard to believe, but Miley isn't even the worst thing in this dreck-a-thon.
Interesting to note for all you BLIND ITEM or VICE fans: The producer/writer/director Adam Shankman is the Rosetta Stone of gay blind items. (PLEASE NOTE that I am NOT homophobic or even close and this is not prejudicial about his gayness). BUT...go through Adam's credits to see the films he's done and who the "leading men/boys" are.
In nearly every film, he's always got one main gay stud (either closeted or out). Some are hard to fathom as gay, but they definitely do it under duress and I know it as fact. Just as I know several who are not gay, but have given in to Adam's "casting couch" demands. Not all hollywood predators are hetero! It's just BAD when ANYONE (of any sex orientation) does that shit to actors. Major ick nast.
Don't be surprised to see Mr. Miley (Liam) become the next Channing Tatum. Or Vin Diesel.
Save your money and just watch this flop on the WE or Lifetime channel in a few months. Sparks is a great writer...too bad this happens to his material. Miley (and family and agents) should be SHOT for squandering so many opportunities. How many stuggling (talented) actors would give a kidney for that one shot? And they squander it all.
And this is what happens when all the people around say "YES!" to every little thing she wants. Like R.E.M said "when you grow up you will learn to not have a sense of entitlement"
ReplyDeletei think that was radiohead,but same diff.
ReplyDelete@jax oooopss....LOL. I just had a Miley Cyrus moment.
ReplyDeleteI hate Nicholas Sparks, but I will admit The Notebook made me teary-eyed. Mostly because of the performances of James Garner and Gena Rowlands.
ReplyDeleteIf Miley was smart, she would have taken this opportunity very seriously, or ... not taken it without having acting lessons first. Who is going to hire her after this? Britney didn't do another movie after Crossroads.
@Himmmmm - you always have good dirt!
ReplyDeleteSparks can suck it.
Mr Sparks always has someone die. Why couldn't it have been Miley's character?
ReplyDeleteI like Miley just because so many asshats who think they are cool don't. She's a kid from my perspective, and a typical one at that. F*ck cool. I am so sick of this cool-obsessed, cynical culture we live in. 99.9999% of the people on this planet will NEVER be 'cool'. Why not be nice, courteous and mind your manners instead? (God I'm getting old).
ReplyDeleteOkay, before this the only Nicholas Sparks movie I was familiar with was "The Notebook" - and I admit, I cried like a baby, only because my mother was afflicted with Alzheimer's, and didn't even know who I was for the last 4 years of her life.
ReplyDeleteGena Rowlands and James Garner were phenomenal, and I expect my opinion of Sparks was formed by their talent.
Now as for Miley - does this movie mean that the Rat has officially dropped her as a property? (on knees and praying)
I'm sure tweeners everywhere are upset at that notion, but they just have to wait a couple more minutes and the Rat will produce another "tween sensation" that'll make them forget all about her.