Dear Richard

Dear Richard,

How are you dear boy? I feel like it has been an age since I last sat down to write you a letter. Alas, it has also been an age since the last time I was on your airline and for that I could not be more pleased. As you know it was a bank holiday weekend in the UK this past weekend so as is my custom I decided to take a quick jaunt down to the Continent. You know, just to check on the state of things. I settled on Germany because it has been awhile and I do so love a good wurst. Do you love wurst Richard? Fantastic. A little sauerkraut and some beer and all is good with the world. Nicht wahr?

Anyway, as I was departing I happened to bump into two women that were traveling like me from Liverpool to Germany. They had with them a man who was in a wheelchair. They told me he was 91. He had on the nicest pair of sunglasses and so I asked him where he had got them. No answer. The women told me he was sleeping. But they knew where he had purchased the sunglasses so all was right with the world. I attempted to keep chatting them up about things to do in Germany and places to eat but they didn't seem interested. They kept looking around nervously as if they were hiding something. My questions still didn't get anything from the man either. Well, the women finally got to the front of the check in line and the customer service people started to ask the man questions and he wouldn't answer them either.

Well, the customer service people said they needed to talk to him. As it turns out Richard, that was going to be very tough to do because the man was dead. That's right. He must have eaten some of your airline's cooking on the way to the UK because he was deader than a doornail. I had never seen anything like it. Well, that is not really honest of me now is it. I did see it in Weekend At Bernie's 2 which your airline said was a "new release." Lovely.