Earlier this week we were treated to the words of wisdom of Gwyneth Paltrow in Vogue UK, and now, she is filling up our minds with more useless platitudes that are going to be indelible in my brain (Note- The word indelible is used with permission of GOOP who manages to throw out one big word a week to prove The Gooper is making use of her word a day calendar).The Gooper is in Harper's Bazaar and talks about herself. Naturally. And her body, of course. And how fat she is. Seriously.
"I was so bad with the food and alcohol in Nashville. If you saw me naked compared to what I looked like when I did Iron Man 2, when I was exercising every day—I'll get it back together, but I've never eaten so much fried food and white flour in my life, ever. Oh, God. The director, Shana Feste, didn't want me to have any definition whatsoever, so I had to stop working out."
First of all, I am glad I am not seeing her naked. Second of all, she is just a stick. What kind of definition is she talking about? She always looks the same to me. Yes, I am sure that she notices an extra ounce on her body because her body is so desperate for food it probably refuses to go away once in there. I just don't understand why why why she insists on calling herself fat. Does she honestly believe this? Does Chris martin tell her she is? Do her kids make fun of her? Plus, why does she think we care? It is like she is promising us that she will get it back together.
Oh, and for all of you fans of the newsletter, guess what? She thinks mainstream journalists are scared of her because they are "terrified of celebrities having a journalistic voice." Uh huh.
Well, obviously the director wanted her to eat, she already looked so skinny in front of the camera. And your right Enty, what definiton? first, you need to have some rich strong muscle tissue. - I'm not even going to comment on her "Journalistic voice"- I already want to see Iron Man 2!!
ReplyDeleteLike MK of Dlisted said "Isn't it fun when the mistress of the manor comes down to the kitchen to eat with the maids and butlers?". Is this bitch for real? I dont understand how she can be so pretentious when she has such a cool mom. Also funny how GP is kinda recreating Madonna's "English Lady of the Manor photoshoot" from a few yrs back.
ReplyDeleteno, dude, really, she is totally fat compared to her 'great expectations' days - then she was beautiful young and hot.
ReplyDeletepoor gwyneth. her body is so dumpy now. i am measuring her by her standards, and yes, i am being serious.
glory days are over. embrace being older and larger, gwyn.
I think this is her idea of "being one of the people"
ReplyDeleteHer lifestyle since birth is only 0.000000001% of the population can even begin to understand.
Why is it college drop outs always feel they have to prove how "smart" they are.
Gooper you're a paid monkey to be in movies. You aren't a journalist or even an authority of anything but how much money you and your husband have. Which is oodles of it.
Enty I am not sure that you used indelible correctly but otherwise I completely agree.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am sure mainstream journalists are terrified of giving people like her a journalistic voice because this is the kind of crap she comes up with. I don't think we need to bastardize journalism further by giving Goop a platform to poop.
Well done, Enty, well done!
ReplyDeleteWell said, Apple. All of it.
ReplyDeleteAnd for someone who uses big words, she sure misspells a lot. I've caught spelling errors in her last two newsletters.
she has been so over for years and years now
ReplyDeleteSHE TAKES HERSELF WAY TOO SERIOUSLY ....WE DON'T CARE...
ReplyDeleteSHE REMINDS ME OF A GIRL I WENT TO COLLEGE WITH...WHO TOOK OUT A RULER TO MEASURE THAT SHE ONLY ATE AN EXACT 1/2 OF A GRAPEFRUIT....
GOOPIE HAS NEVER BEEN FAT..BUT SHE GETS CRAZIER EVERY YEAR...
NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS BUT, POOR CHRIS.
Indelible means can't be erased. Poor Enty. I am so sorry about that.
ReplyDeleteWhen I got out of film school I worked for a producer at Columbia (now Sony). GOOP's Dad had an office across from ours. He was great. We'd talk for hours. He expressed concern about her being ungracious and unappreciative - I swear I am not making this up - and she hadn't even dropped out of UCSB yet or had her acting big break.
ReplyDelete(I have never told/written this... will spare more details out of respect for the dead. GOOP needs to wake up.)
God damn it, I hate this stick. It has nothing to do with feeling any sort of jealousy or inferiority with regard to the bitch. I loathe her way she represents herself as a Brit.
ReplyDeleteWho else wanted to pull her hair when she referred to Sir Anthony Hopkins over and over as "An-tunny" at the Golden Globes a couple of years back? And WILLIAM Joel? Jesus.
Pretentious doesn't even BEGIN to describe this snip.
I'll say it again: My favorite Paltrow film is "Se7ven" -- only because her head ends up in a box.
It's a testament to her irrationality that she actually considers that silly, self-indulgent website her "journalistic voice." If by "journalism" she means successive editions of Goopster-centered People magazines, maybe.
ReplyDeleteTinselSass: Come sit by ME. ;)
ReplyDeleteTinselSass, you have just written the most beautiful eulogy I've ever heard.
ReplyDeleteSomeone needs to remind Goopy that we're not going to Iron Man 2 to see her--in my circle of friends, the guys are going for the hi-tech geekery (a number of them being, like Tony Stark, MIT grads), and the women are all going to drool over RDJ. ;-) There are plenty of blond actresses out there who could play her character, so assuming that IM3 does indeed happen, I'd like to make a request of the producers: Please, please, PLEASE, for the love of all that's decent and good and holy, hire one of those actresses to play Pepper & kick Goopy to the curb! (Oh, and more sleeveless undershirts for RDJ, pretty please? ;-)
ReplyDeleteDivaJulia and Barton Fink -
ReplyDeleteIn my fantasy virtual world, I am sitting with you.
Barton Fink, a couple of weeks ago you responded to my question about the difference between drug effects and helped me understand how people get addicted. I'm glad you are taking care and thank you again for helping me to understand.
DivaJulia... sometime, another GP Dad story will be shared. (I imagine it would even make Goop's hair fly up in fright at herself.)
I think it's hilarious how everyone reads this worthless non-talent's blog, like she has something interesting to say. I know it is to make fun or her, but please. No one could pay me enough to read her drivel.
ReplyDeleteGood Lord, she's a delusional ass.
ReplyDeleteA "journalistic voice"????
ReplyDeleteBAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! AHA!
Wow.