The camera pans slowly to the presenter who can be seen and heard smacking on a piece of gum. As the camera zooms in on the closeup of the spittle flying we hear her speak.
"Hi ya'll. Like this year I was like asked to like present an award and I was like totally honored and like I hope I am not messing this up because I like you know, I like being up here and, like these people are cool but, like my dad you know. I mean I like to act, and someday, like I hope to be coming up here, and like, you know, getting an award, because, well like acting is my life. Well, like my life except for stripper poles, because, like well when Noah wears her lingerie line, well, like that is pretty cool too you know. Well, like I only have OMG I can't believe I am here. This is crazy. The Academy Award for best actor goes to..."
This is not a bad dream people. Somehow, The Academy Awards have decided that Miley Cyrus should present an award at the event this year. Obviously the producers are trying to do everything they can to get people to watch an to bring in a new generation of viewers. I have no problems with that. I think the inclusion of Kristen Stewart as a presenter is a great idea. I'm not a fan of the Twilight movies but I do know that Kristen can act and she does make movies that are more than just lip synched concert footage. At least she belongs on the stage. I don't think an actor or an actress is going to feel slighted or disrespected if Kristen is going to give them an award. But, how would you feel if you are finally walking up on stage to get that little statuette and it is being given to you by Miley Cyrus? This is not the Teen Choice Awards. It is the Academy Awards. These are the snob awards where people expect a little bit more. Maybe next year they can have Maury Povich host and they can have who is the daddy segments during the commercial breaks.
OMG EXACTLY. Kristen Stewart is an actual contender for the Oscars somewhere down the line. And although stranger things have happened, I don't see it in Miley's future. If anything, this will just encourage her more obnoxious behaviour. I hope she gets a non-prime category to present.
ReplyDeleteOh spare me. What a complete joke.
ReplyDeleteWhat, Paris wasnt free that day?
ReplyDeleteWho cares? The Oscars are a joke. Hollywood should give two awards, one for the biggest box office and the other for the most politically correct because those are the only two things they care about. Every award they give is based on one or both of those two criteria.
ReplyDeleteThat girl's ego must be as big as Texas. It's going to be quite a crash when it's over.
ReplyDeleteThat girl's ego must be as big as Texas. It's going to be quite a crash when it's over.
ReplyDeleteCue eyes rolling.
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS NOT TRUE...PLEASE I BEG, TELL ME THIS IS NOT TRUE
ReplyDeleteOMG!!! - I can't stand this idiot girl.
ReplyDeleteOh, gag me.
ReplyDeleteWe should have seen it coming. Last year she was invited to do something (can't remember what the heck it was) and she wore that Christmas tree of a dress as if she was there to pick up her Oscar.
ReplyDeleteI agree that Kristen Stewart is a true actress and belongs there. I still can't believe she played the part of Jodie Foster's daughter in The Panic Room.
I hope she presents for best song and whoever wins (please let it be T Bone Burnett) comes up and spits on her for what they have done to the music industry.
ReplyDeleteIt's artists (and i say it loosely)like her who depend on auto tune to crank out a song. Can't write or read music and just generally suck overall.
@notonmydollar she was at the Golden Globes with that awful dress.
ReplyDeleteShe was nominated for best song and had lyric credit. I guess by adding the word "like" to a song gives you credit these days.
Sweet fancy Moses! This girl isn't even old enough to vote yet, but has the voice of a middle-aged, chain-smoking, bourbon-swilling divorcee at a Blackjack table in Las Vegas (and no offence to the middle-aged, chain-smoking, bourbon swilling divorcees!) What will she sound like in 20 years, if she's still around for us to hear, and anyone's listening?
ReplyDeleteRe: Miley Cyrus: To paraphrase a 20-year-old quote by Jackie Stallone about her son: "[S]he can't write, [s]he cant't act, [s]he can't [sing,] but[s]he sure can make money!"
ReplyDeleteMaybe next year they can have Maury Povich host and they can have who is the daddy segments during the commercial breaks.
ReplyDeletehahaha!
It really annoys me when they ask irrelevant (for this particular Awards show anyway) people to present. Why not ask all the supporting actors in the movies this year before someone like Miley? At least they didn't ask Heidi & Spencer...
Okay, who'd she blow or who'd Billy blow?
ReplyDeleteDoesn't The Academy give out some of the less important awards before the aired ceremony? Maybe Miley will be presenting one of those. Like best gaffer or best coffee and donut fetcher or something. *fingers crossed*
ReplyDeleteKristen Stewart is a real actress? Based on what? Biting her lip a million times to portray nervous angst? Delivering lines so horribly that the audience laughs in the all wrong places? In Eclipse or whatever the second Twilight movie was, the director showed her deep pain by moving the camera around her in circles while she stared straight ahead. She is awful. And she can't even attempt a southern accent in her next movie. Clips for that have been widely panned. And Adventureland? She's awful in that because she seems to be playing herself and her own personality sucks. I can't wait until she vanishes into obscurity. She is awful and if she ever wins an Academy Award, I will stop watching movies altogether.
ReplyDeleteThat is all.
Sweet mother this is a sign of the coming Apocalypse.
ReplyDeleteKeli...I totally agree. One is as bad as the other.
ReplyDeleteWhen Kristin Stewart can "act" like someone who is not a constantly stoned mouth-breather, then she can call herself an actress. For the time begin, that girl can't act for shit.
ReplyDeleteAre you frikkin' kidding me? Have you *seen* K-Stew during an interview? She's all nervous & uncomfortable in her own skin.....I like that about her. I think she'd be terrible, but I kinda want to see it.
ReplyDeleteYes, I am a not-nice person. Feh.
Maybe next year they can have Maury Povich host and they can have who is the daddy segments during the commercial breaks.
ReplyDelete....I would so watch that.....
The only movie I have seen Kristin Stewart in is Panic Room. You know, the movie in which most people thought she was a boy.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes refer to her as "the girl with no facial expressions," as a reminder of her deadpan "acting" style.
ReplyDeleteYeah, when I read "I do know that Kristen Stewart can act," I was like, wth? She's a cute girl, but a good actor she is not. It's actually painful to watch...
ReplyDelete