I haven't quite figured out why US Weekly has it in for Jessica Simpson, but they do. While they might not be the first to post an unflattering photo of Jessica they are very quick to reprint it and then make comments about it which they say come from other sites or tabloids. Basically they take the bad picture and dump on as many bad comments as they can. If that wasn't bad enough they have found a new way to humiliate her. In their new issue, yes the actual issue and not just online, they have an exclusive about Jessica. They trumpet this exclusive like their life depends on it so it must be truly spectacular. Here is the actual headline.
Exclusive: Oops! Jessica Simpson Farts During Business Meeting
Really? That is what makes news now? Bodily functions? Seriously? You are wasting print space on that? They must truly hate Jessica for either backing out of a deal or an interview or maybe Pimpa Joe looked down the shirts of too many female staffers. Whatever it is, the magazine has it in for her. I can't believe they wasted space talking about it. They put it on the cover!! Brad and Angelina problems and Jessica's farting.
Why can't they pick on Asslee instead?
ReplyDelete"they trumpet..." lol
ReplyDeletei'm 12.having said that...good god she farted!!! alert the presses! wait,they already did. christ, a girl can't eat a burrito now and then?
LMAO! Jax SO stole my thunder.... Hah! Thunder! Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!!
ReplyDeleteif she's smart, she'll get her people to work the media in her favor...that is, milk the 'why are they picking on me' stance. sympathetic ears can become potential fanbase. look at us...it wasn't too long ago we were slamming her...the bf choices (mayer, romo), style choices (mom jeans). yet now we've figured out she's not so bad, we feel for her and she's growing on the collective us. someone go tell her pr peeps to hop to it.
ReplyDeleteSomeone murdered journalism, and it's name is US Weekly.
ReplyDeleteWOW! Jessica is a human being (albeit a somewhat uncouth one)!! She had the audacity to fart. Crucify her.
ReplyDeleteIf anything, this "news" item just made me like her a bit. Suck it, Us.
I don't read Us frequently enough to comment on whether or not they have it in for her. I don't think someone blowing one out in a meeting is newsworthy, but also being 12, I think its damn funny. But if they're gonna mark anyone for it, it'll be Jess. She kinda put it out there herself a few times that she's not one to hold em in from the front or back end, no?
ReplyDeletehahaha @ Jax and Jewels. US is just so full of hot air. They need to cut the crap and get a real story. (Lame, I know. Sorry.)
ReplyDeleteI think that shit (not literally) is just malicious. I agree that they seem to have it out for her, though.
ReplyDeleteThis stinks!
ReplyDeleteFrom what I hear she's making a lot of money with her line of clothes, shoes, accessories etc. so in the end it's Jessica who will get the last laugh.
ReplyDeleteBy the way if you are unfortunate enough to have a flatulence problem while it may be uncouth to let it out it is much more harmful to hold it in.
Jess might want to invest in some Beano.
"just sayin"
This is really headline news. Sheesh. I think most of us have, at some point, farted publicly. Say "excuse me" and move on. Poor Jessica.
ReplyDeleteWHY WASN'T THIS ON CNN...?
ReplyDeleteHahaha! farts are funny.
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing I wasn't there (and that I'm not a celebrity), because I get competitive about this sort of thing!
I don't like Jessica. I got put off her when I read that when she discovered she was scheduled to fly on an European airline, she kicked up a stink and would only fly American Airlines because the European airline wouldn't be safe or something. Dumb.
ReplyDeleteOh, I really needed that laugh. Did they interview eyewitnesses?!
ReplyDeleteno abby, it was strictly 'hear say!"
ReplyDeleteA true Southern lady never farts. She lets it rip!
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't they put it in the section,
ReplyDeleteStars....They're just like us !
The only thing funnier would've been if she had fallen and farted on impact. Because I am a 12 year old boy THAT is the funniest thing ever to me.
ReplyDeleteSaw it happen once. I was at the off leash dog park talking with my old man friend. It was rainy and yucky and then here comes this super cute little girl, but she has these high flip flops on and little booty shorts. She is manuvering the terrain when she gets right in front of us. She slips, legs straight out and PFFFFFFTTTTT!! on impact. I usually don't laugh AT ppl because I feel bad, but it was all I could do to choke out "are *giggle* all *giggle* right? *giggle giggle giggle*"
To make matters worse, everytime me and old dude saw her again, he would old man whisper (meaning use "whisper voice" but talk REALLY LOUD) "there's that girl that FARTED!!"
I love fart stories - they make me laugh! Good god, the girl is human. I hope she laughed when it happened.
ReplyDeleteLOLOLOLOL just hilarious hahahaha
ReplyDeletelol at this funny ass thread.
ReplyDeleteI agree, Jax, we don't get enough ass threads around here.
ReplyDeleteDon't buy these stupid f*ckin' rags!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd, Dr. Oz said it is normal to fart about 14 times a day.
ReplyDeleteI, personally, would explode if I didn't both burp and fart.
And I "go" about three times a day, which we all should!
This story would make a great South Park episode.
ReplyDeleteAhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! I actually think that's the greatest tabloid story I've ever read!
ReplyDeletechihuahuense
ReplyDeleteTHAT IS HILARIOUS!
I was reading your story and a co-worker began to ask me a question. I then snorted, choked on my tongue and burst out laughing, and received the weirdest look from my straight-edged co-worker who wanted to know why I was laughing. I couldn't tell him that I was reading a funny fart story.
I have this awesome dream reel going in my head of the fancy girl fart-falling.
lol @ Leah!
ReplyDeletefart falling is the only thing better than farting!