We're clearly not in the match-making business, but if we were, these two closeted stars could totally be a good thing together: Remember Crescent Kumquat and Topher-Hairy Tuchas? Both equally gorgeous studs who have equally big...secrets?
If it weren't for their large-ish age gap, we would totally predict these two guys to be swapping gorgeous hair secrets and then some behind closed doors.
Why, you ask? Because Crescent has been pulling a card straight from Hairy Tuchas's cruising-for-sex ways by using...
...Craigslist to shack up with dudes! No way!
Remember, we've seen the emergence of Crescent's flaming personality over the last year or so. First with a few boy-on-boy cuddles, then with some innocent necking and now, full-on getting it on with guys. And he's not exactly being stealth about it, either.
What is it with dudes like Kumquat and Topher who have easily recognizable faces, yet who use Craigslist to get their gay sex on? Hello, that is so asking to get caught. Come on, this is beyond, say, Toothy Tile doing it in a car in a West Hollywood parking lot, people. This is practically an engraved invitation to be outted, for heaven's sake!
Maybe, ultimately, that's what these guys want? To be finally known as who they are, but do they want someone else to do the dirty work for 'em? Remember, Toothy just loves to get it on in super public places with Grey Goose, but even they have toned it down, as of late.
Seriously, I'd put my money on Toothy coming out before Crescent. C.K. and Topher really have to rely on their large female fan bases to keep their careers going. If the girls go, so do the jobs. Particularly Crescent's. His face is totally plastered all over the Teen Beat girlie-sphere. If that demo only knew the truth!
And It Ain't: Jackson Rathbone, Paul Wesley, Justin Beiber
Zac Ephron and Joe Jonas?
ReplyDeleteI'm lucky I can decipher any one of Ted's blinds. It's like reading another freakin' language...
And who are Jackson Rathbone and Paul Wesley? Justin Bieber is the new teen heart-throb. I know because my daughter loves him.
9 out of 10 times his blinds are about secretly gay entertainers ...it is really boring, i like Ents better.
ReplyDeleteDon't follow the tween crowd...
ReplyDeleteWhat's the question?
ReplyDeleteGood guess mngddess!
ReplyDeleteTed talks about a large-ish age gap, so one of the guys must be older than the two you mention.
Paul Wesley is in Vampire Diaries.
ReplyDeleteI think Jackson Rathbone is a name from the other vampire thing, what is it, Twilight? One of the guys must play a vampire
ReplyDeleteJackson Rathbone - Twilight Stephenie Meyer already outed all the vampires as gay when she slathered them with pixie dust. Ted is just jealous that no one wants to bang his skeezy self.
ReplyDeleteChace Crawford and Bradley Cooper FTW!
ReplyDeletesee, I came here to get away from this guy's BI's. Liked his word play before, when it was brand new, but now? Ugh, where's the Advil?
ReplyDeleteTed C-- enough with the closet gay BI's!!!!
ReplyDeleteChace Crawford for the young-one
I can't read these anymore.
ReplyDeleteI know he thinks he's being clever and what not, but it is just frustrating.
I feel like I'm losing brain cells trying to decipher.
Ted needs reveal days like Ent. otherwise it's really no fun guessing the same Gay blinds over and over.
ReplyDeleteI actually like Ted. I used to get confused, but then I starting reading his blog from time to time, and I think he's entertaining. If you don't like them, scroll past them! It's just for fun people.
ReplyDeleteDidn't Chace lose his v-card to the Empress of Lucite (aka Shauna Sand for those of you who don't read DListed... in which case, you should!!)?
ReplyDeleteWhat about Zac Efron for the younger one and BCoop for the older one?
i only made it three sentences in.
ReplyDeletei just can't read his closeted star blinds anymore, they're not worth deciphering.
I honestly could care less who is gay anymore. All his closested blinds are pretty much the same, nothing interesting to add. There's gotta be juicer sh*t out there. I get it Ted, everyone in Hollywood is a closet case. What. the. frick. ever.
ReplyDeleteI like Nosey's guess. But really - I don't care about Ted's blinds. They're too obsequious to matter.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm going to go and look up obsequious.
@ mngddess thank you for the enormous laugh!
ReplyDeleteTed's blinds are a chore, I am, however coming to realize that most of Hollywood really is gay. There can be no other explaination. OH! Unless...........it's all made up? ;)
The closeted blinds are getting old Ted.
ReplyDeleteTaylor Lautner for the young'un....totally pings my 'dar.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Majik. Taylor Lautner has received a lot of tween attention lately, and his desperate attempts (albeit successful) to get girlfriends pings my gaydar too. Did anyone else see him proclaiming how cute he thought Selena Gomez was, and later Taylor Swift? A little too arranged, if you ask me. Seemed like job applications to me.
ReplyDeleteI doubt it's Zac E. On reveal day Enty said he thinks there's too much evidence for him to believe that Zac is gay.
ReplyDeleteQuestion: What's more annoying then a Ted C blind item about closeted hollywood stars?
Answer: Having to read through all the dumb and boring comments written (usually badly) by commenters who hate Ted C blind items. STOP!
I dunno .. I kinda like Ted's blinds if for no other reason it is like reading a really long riddle. It is always a challenge to figure out what the hell he is writing ... much less the actual "Who the hell is he talking about?" part. LOL!!
ReplyDeleteSo .. for a hoot to escape really horrible stuff at times .. I will admit to coming to CDAN and searching out Teddy's BIs so I have something else to concentrate on! [It is safe to assume I am reading this to escape Haiti news right now ... : ( ]
@Sean
ReplyDeleteWait... so Zac Efron is NOT gay, according to Enty??? really?????
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ReplyDeleteIt must be my age or something, but Ted C's language and idioms are always easy for me to understand. He does take a few hundred words where 'this famous guy is cruising Craigslist' would do, but the clues are fun.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget the E! lawyers have to approve everything Ted writes, and he doesn't believe in outing. No reveals for Ted.
No idea which young heartthrob this is - blame my age again!
From the 'nots' it looks like it's someone who plays a vampire and also is a singer. That would be Rob Pattison.
ReplyDeleteFrom previous info, Crescent Kumquat is not Adam Levine, Adrien Grenier, Cam Gigandet, Corbin Bleu, Jackson Rathbone, Jensen Ackles, John Mayer, Kellan Lutz, Penn Badgley, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Kitsch, or Zac Efron.
ReplyDeleteI'd guess Chace for him. I don't know about the older guy.
I like Nosey's guess too and echo what Rachel said - Crescent is supposedly Chace C - not sure about Topher Hairy-Tuchus.
ReplyDeleterelax, sean. if you can make it through a ted c. blind, i'm sure scrolling past a few opinions (as badly written or as differing from your own as they may be) can't be THAT much trouble. ;)
ReplyDeleteSame BI
ReplyDeleteSame Comments
Scrolling down...
If not RPattz then another singing vamp.
ReplyDeleteWhy does it matter is a better question, unles they are married and cheating on their partner, or if they have kids.
ReplyDeleteTopher is Alec Baldwin, right? Or did Ted give him another name?
ReplyDeleteIt can't be Joe Jonas, if only because Ted has said a few times on his site that his younger brother Nick is the only Jonas with even any mild dirt, and the other two are "sticks in the mud", which in Ted-world I take to mean they are not rude or difficult and aren't yet appearing to be hiding any scandalous behavior.
ReplyDeleteif that demo only knew the truth? Demi Lovato dated Joe Jonas
ReplyDelete"And he's not exactly being stealth about it, either."
ReplyDeleteJamie Foxx is my guess. A lot of people have had their suspicions when it comes to him. And with your reference of "stealth" which is also a movie Jamie starred in, I'm sure one of these guys is Jamie.