Four For Friday

#1 & #2 - This married former A list television actress and now a struggling C has been trying anything and everything to get a television show for herself. Not reality. She wants a talk show and there is only one person standing in her way. That person is a former reality star turned sometime actress who is actually much more famous than the preceding description would lead you to believe. Our former A list actress never misses the chance to talk smack about her perceived competition and will say anything to anyone to have the chance to host the show.

#3 - In related news, this former B list television actress and now a well known D has a side gig as a business person. Not wanting anyone to know who she is when she calls she uses a different name other than her very recognizable real one.

#4 - What mom and former A list television actress and now a C list joke answered her front door to trick or treaters in a shirt that exposed all when she reached for candy. Moms and dads were not amused. OK, well maybe the dads were amused. I mean she is again but they probably still took a look.

Random Photos Part One - With Reader Photos

A lot of acting talent at the top today. Helen Mirren and John Hurt.
Bradley Cooper on the set of A-Team and what looks to be fake teeth?
Brad Pitt looks high as a kite.
No words of wisdom from Courtney Love in her Facebook the past few days. She has uploaded about a million photos of herself though. One at a time. She has a lot of time on her hands.
Love Drew. Not the dress.
Its Clint Eastwood and a bunch of his kids. The only one I know is Alison.
You know how Amanda Bynes always wears the same outfit? Emmanuelle Chriqui does too. Oh sure it might be a dress or a top, but they all have the whole look at my cleavage look about them. It is like she saw that famous Jennifer Lopez Grammy dress and has not evolved beyond that.
If Eva wasn't in this picture it had a chance at the top spot. Hilary Swank looks amazing. Halle always does. Eva looks like she is getting her mug shot taken.
Me on a plane. That guy was happy to see me go.
Jennifer Garner watch. Much less skinny again today. Maybe it was just that photo's angle last week.
It is like an Ed Hardy warehouse exploded. That is Johnathan Schaech by the way.
Kate Beckinsale's turn to take her daughter to a premiere. New Moon it ain't. Just saying.
Lance Armstrong standing next to his portrait.
Old hockey guy photo of the day. Luc Robitaille.
Holy F**k. Look at Meg Ryan. How can you not look? Please, oh please let that be a wig. She is with Andy Ostroy and Cheryl Hines.
Robert Duvall promoting some movie with
a great looking Jeff Bridges.
Reader Photo #1
Reader Photo #2
Straighten up Peter Facinelli.
Lets see. Rupert Friend, Emily Blunt and the producer of the movie Sarah Ferguson.
Santa copping a feel of LeAnn Rimes.
Wanting more he fools her by changing outfits.
That isn't Pinkberry. Very disappointed.

Didn't Take James Van Der Beek Long To Recover

Today is December 4, 2009 and on November 20, 2009, James Van Der Beek filed for divorce from his wife Heather McComb. He cited irreconcilable differences. I would say probably most of those differences had something to do with Kimberly Brook who James keeps going out with every night. Kimberly is a model. I am not going to judge but James supposedly met Kimberly back in August so was he trying to see if it would work with her before he split with Heather? See, I just don't get that. If you are not happy just leave. Don't cheat. Leave and then you can play the field all you want. All this does is just make you look bad and everyone bad and really, really hurts the person cheated on. Not that James cares. I bet Heather might though.

Bad News Bad News For Marilyn Manson

It would have been nice to report that Marilyn Manson had some good news come his way this week, but he doesn't. This week he was dropped by his record label Interscope because his record sales were for crap on his last album and they wanted to move in a new direction. I'm sure Marilyn will say that it was mutual and he wanted to make records which were more accessible to his fans or some kind of crap like that.

The other bit of bad news is really good news for those of you who drool over Alexander Skarsgard. In an interview with Metal Hammer Magazine Marilyn said that he and Evan Rachel Wood were back together. Considering all the pictures of them together I don't know why anyone would think Evan was f**king Alexander. Well, actually I could see why you would think that. Who would you rather f**k? Some guy who is going to scare your pets and steal your makeup or Alexander?

Tiger Woods Is Mr. Kinky

When you put the journalistic efforts of the world all one story you get some great stuff. Whether you would like to see naked pictures of Jaimee Grubbs or see her sex tape or read e-mails from Tiger to Rachel Uchitel it is all available. It turns out that within all this information is a picture emerging of Tiger who is Mr. Kinky. Not only does he enjoy taking Ambien right before sex, he also has secret fantasies about watching Derek Jeter and David Boreanaz have sex with Rachel while he watches. Really? Do you think he thinks about that stuff while he is golfing? Million dollar putt and he is thinking about who his mistress used to f**k.

US Weekly saw one of the e-mails Tiger sent to Rachel and it says, "I had a dream we were married and I was leading the tournament. I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting f--ked by Derek and David [Boreanaz]. Some part of me thinks you would like that. Now I can't get back to sleep. My body is tired, but my mind is awake. Need an Ambien."

Meanwhile his wife was home taking care of their kids. F**ker.

Your Turn

I was planning on having this great moral dilemma question today based on something I saw on the news this week. However, several readers suggested that with all the cheating stories this week that something related to that topic would be more appropriate to discuss. Never let it be said that I don't listen to everything you say. So, without further ado, have you ever cheated, been cheated on, have a great cheating story. I am also interested in what you think is considered cheating. Where is the line drawn?

God Told Eva Longoria To Become An Actress

I didn't realize God was such a fan of Desperate Housewives and really bad movies, but I was wrong. In an interview with Bang Showbiz, Eva Longoria said that she never wanted to become an actress and never thought about it until one day she felt like God told her to move to Los Angeles and become an actress. Really?

"It was this special force pushing me to come to Los Angeles and I said, 'OK, I'm not going to fight it.' But I always felt very protected. And I felt like this was the place I was meant to be."

Whether you believe in God or a higher power or whatever, I just really don't think God told Eva Longoria to come to LA and be an actress. For what purpose? For the greater good of man? To give ABC a boost to their Sunday night ratings? To give the people who sell DVD's a bunch of straight to DVD options?

I would just hope that if there is some higher power around that they would be spending their time figuring out how to keep the world from starving or providing water to the millions who are without or trying to make the world more peaceful and not finding people to make Wisteria Lane more interesting.

The Justice System Is Messed Up

I saw this story yesterday and I ended up thinking about it all night. I just can't believe how messed up this is. The story is this. A 22 year old Chicago woman was arrested, spent two nights in jail and is facing a felony charge that could mean up to three years of prison time. What was her crime? She was at a movie theatre celebrating her sisters 29th birthday with a bunch of friends. They all went to see New Moon. The 22 year old had a new video camera and was recording the party. She also happened to film the first three minutes of the movie. An usher spotted her. Management was called and then the cops. The cops looked at it and were prepared to let her go when the story was explained but the theatre manager wants to press charges. Because it was a Friday night she couldn't get a bail hearing until Monday. So, she spent two nights in jail and has been charged with a felony to prevent unauthorized sale of bootleg movies that hasn't been used in Chicago in forever.

There are hundreds of bootleg copies of New Moon online. On the video is a bunch of party footage and they had been filming in the theatre and no one said they couldn't. There are people that have killed people that face less time in jail than this woman. Think about all the celebrity DUI convictions where someone could have got killed and they don't even spend a few hours in jail and this woman already spent two nights in jail and faces 3 years in prison. Really? I feel so bad for her and the district attorney there should drop all the charges. This is ridiculous.

Two More Seasons Of Entourage Followed By A Movie

I don't know if this is good news or bad news. I used to love Entourage but was really disappointed this year. Nothing happened. I sat there for 12 episodes of nothing but watching Gary Cole have a meltdown. Really? This isn't a soap. The plot barely moved forward. Yesterday Mark Wahlberg said to The Hollywood Reporter there are two more seasons of the show and then there will be at least one movie. That is a whole lot more Vinnie Chase. I can never get enough of good shows. I'm just not sure this is good anymore and definitely not two more years and a movie good.

Khloe & Lamar - Already Ignoring Each Other

RADAR has a story up today about how Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are already fighting and when I read it I didn't really get the sense they were fighting. What I did get the sense of is two people that don't particularly care for one another. To me that is a whole lot worse. Yelling and arguing doesn't mean you don't care about someone. Eating out at dinner and ignoring your significant other for the entire meal so you can text is much worse. What you are saying by your actions is the person on the other end of the phone is more important than your significant other. Here is what happened.

"Lamar caused a huge scene. He got jealous because Khloe was texting at the table and he yelled at her to quit it. She refused, so he stormed off and sat alone at the bar. Khloe just ignored him."

"He went and sat at the bar and watched TV by himself. Khloe was with her best friend [Malika Hagg] and the poor girl was totally stuck in the middle."

"She was running back and forth between the bar and the table trying to make peace but Lamar kept just saying 'I'm not talking to her. Let her talk to her phone. She can be alone with her phone.' It was bad."

So, not only was she ignoring Lamar but also her friend? Should you really be at that level of disinterest already? I think it is really disrespectful to text like crazy while you are with someone else. I don't care if it is a friend or girlfriend or boyfriend or a co-worker or whatever. I have to support Lamar on this one which is tough considering how much I loathe the Lakers..

What Exactly Is Raw?

Thanks to all of you who found the Lindsay Lohan Cash warren story for me. It is probably my favorite story of the week. Forget about Tiger or any of that. All week I have been trying to think of a reason why Cash Warren would ever think about making out with Lindsay Lohan. Yes, he has cheated in the past, but I haven't heard anything like that since he was married and with Lindsay? Really? How dark was this club and how wasted was he?

US Weekly described the kiss as raw. When I think of Lindsay and raw I think of disease and open sores. I know they wanted us to think it was passionate and animalistic. I'm just saying they should think about their subjects more and realize I now have spent the better part of two days wondering if there are any open sores on either of them. I mean wasn't it last year that LA Rag Mag or someone said Jessica Alba has herpes and got it from Derek Jeter. So, if she has it would it stand to reason that perhaps Cash has it also? I don't know. I do know that when I read things like this and my imagination takes over I just want to live in a full body glove.

Jake G Uses The Girlfriend Word

Have you ever heard Jake Gyllenhaal use the word girlfriend to describe Reese Witherspoon? I never have and I don't think anyone else ever has either. To get him to start using it all you had to do was say he and Reese split and the next thing you know he tosses it out at press conference.

Yesterday Jake was promoting Brothers and said this in response to a question from Grazia Australia. "Obviously I exist in my girlfriend's world and my sister's world in a different way, but it's opened my heart and I feel much more grown up and want to be grown up as a result of it."

Wow. Why have we never heard this before? Reese has never said that either. Not in one interview, press conference by either of them. Never accidentally slipped out. Nothing. Now it does? The week after the breakup stories? Please.

Today's Blind Items

This A list tweener has a problem. Well more than one problem but there are some things that can never be taught. Anyway, she had a boyfriend. Not exactly being a role model she got his name tattooed on her body in a place most people won't see for a few more months. Now though, she has a bigger problem than what people say about her tattoo and its location. She has a different boyfriend and he doesn't like opening the presents so to speak and seeing another name so our tweener is going to change it but can't decide if it should be the new boyfriend's name or something generic like don't chew gum with your mouth open.

Random Photos Part One - With Reader Photos

Aretha Franklin - New York
Blanket Jackson practicing some martial arts.
This might be a first time appearance for Caspar Van Dien.
Long time no see for Dean Cain in the photos.
This was some kind of seafood eating contest. It was for a movie with salmon in the title, but they are wearing bibs with lobsters on them and yet somehow I think they are eating processed crab. That is Michael Clarke Duncan way in the back.
Fergie just doesn't smile as much anymore. She actually looks nice here too.
The cast of Glee hosted some kind of karaoke competition and Mark Salling was there.
As was Cory Monteith who posed here with Nikki Blonsky.
If you guessed Helen Hunt I don't believe you. Not a movie. Real photograph.
Some of the Jonas Brothers and Smokey Robinson.
The one, the only and very lovely Dame Judi Dench. She was at the premiere of Nine tonight in London. Also there were
Kate Hudson who actually looks good.
Nicole Kidman who looks like a teenager going out on her first date.
Penelope Cruz
Daniel Day Lewis in some kind of 1800's western velvet circus performer outfit.
And all of them together.
So, the paps are now following the woman in the middle who is Jaimee Grubbs. Now lets be clear. She is now famous and she seems to be enjoying the fame. She will be famous for having sex with a married guy. Is that how you want to become famous?
Jenny McCarthy is wearing an outfit that is not that far removed from that big couch thing Lady GaGa wore last week. Please. No more 80's fashion. It's like watching Xanadu.
Jessica Simpson looking very nice here.
Urkel!!!
You can't hear me but I just used my auto tune to say Keri Hilson and T-Pain.
Holding one might be as close as Katy Perry is going to get to a Grammy.
Most awkward hug of the day.
Mark Wahlberg finally shows up at a Lovely Bones premiere.
Usually it has just been these five.
Rhys Ifans doesn't seem concerned that Sienna Miller is sexing it up with Jude Law again. Rhys has Kimberly Stewart.
Rihanna getting frisked at LAX.
A great picture of Rachel McAdams at a Sherlock Holmes press conference.
Robert Downey Jr. was there as well.
Reader Photo #1. In the back.
Reader Photo #2
Sylvester Stallone and his art. Don't laugh too loud.
OK, go ahead. You can laugh.
And then the Muppets did the world a favor by consuming Tyra Banks.
Tea Leoni and David Duchovny managed to piece everything back together. Maybe Tiger and Elin can also.
The thing about weight loss gigs is that if you are good at losing weight you lose your job. Sara Rue is the new Jenny Craig spokesperson.