Happy Holiday Weekend

In Canada this weekend is Thanksgiving and here in the States it is Columbus Day weekend. I of course will be celebrating neither, but wish I was. Instead I will be toiling away at work and blogging all day Monday for those of you who are stuck in the office with me.

To all my wonderful friends and readers in Canada, I hope you have a great weekend. Celebrate this time with your friends and family and stay safe and remember what you are celebrating and be thankful for what you have. I am thankful for all of you. Be safe wherever you are going or whatever you are doing.

Everyone in the States who is celebrating a three day weekend probably either works for the government, a bank, a school, or a very nice employer. Unfortunately for me I have none of those going for me, but the traffic will still be less on Monday so bonus. If you are heading out of town for the weekend, have fun and know how jealous I am. Not as jealous as I am of the Canadians because they are having a food holiday involving turkey and mashed potatoes. We still have to wait another six weeks for that.

Four For Friday - Canadian Thanksgiving Day Version

Since this weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving, I felt it was only right that all the answers today be people who were born in Canada. It is an odd assortment of blinds, but it is the least I can do for everyone up north on this holiday weekend. Remember that if you have leftovers, I am perfectly willing to accept them.

#1 & #2 - Bad Drug Behavior - This C+/B- movie actor (Canadian) has been in his share of big movies and is currently filming what is expected to be huge by the studios but I'm not sure the public will agree. Anyway, our actor has already caused drama on the set by doing coke almost constantly and having production assistants deliver strippers to his trailer. Oh, our actor is being joined in all of this with the parent of his C list movie actress co-star. (Not Canadian)

# 3 - Kindness - This C list movie and television actress has a movie world record all to herself. She is also married to an Oscar nominee/winner writer. Anyway, our actress, who has children was at her children's doctor when she started talking to a woman who had three kids of her own, one of which had bone cancer. The woman didn't have insurance and was having a tough time paying the doctor bills. Long story short. Our actress hosted a fundraiser with her husband and raised $100,000 to pay for all the medical bills for the child and to give the family a much needed vacation.

#4 - Probably the most well known of the Canadians in the blinds today. This is an actress who is B list because of a very hit show she was on. She is currently filming another show where she and her much older co-star are having a fling. No big deal in Hollywood although it will probably wreck the long term marriage of her co-star.

Random Photos Part One

All week I have wanted to put this picture of Boomer in the photos and everyday I have forgotten. He is seven feet long and is the world's largest dog. Love it.
Alicia Silverstone wants us to buy her diet book. Seriously?
Her dad from Clueless was at her book signing. I didn't even recognize Dan Hedaya.
Andy Garcia looking sharp as always.
Not looking so sharp is Billy Joel.
Bai Ling was at an ASPCA event and if you didn't bring your pet you got to use this red carpet dog. Bai Ling is wearing tights or leggings.
This woman is not. Twice in two weeks we have the dress squat on the red carpet.
Cherry Jones and Sarah Paulson are no longer together. Here is Cherry with Alison Pill.
The first picture I have seen in a long time of Chris Pine where he isn't walking out of a convenience store.
I think the safety pin just brings the whole outfit together for Drew.
I haven't seen Don Johnson in awhile.
It is kind of like
Hugh Jackman is walking towards you with takeout Chinese.
I really need to pay more attention to my calendar. Eddie Izzard was in town and I didn't go see him.
Julie Andrews and her daughter Emma.
Jennifer Aniston was re-shooting scenes from The Baster. Never a good sign. Now she is going to bring Jason Bateman into her world of box office bombs.
One of my favorite pictures of the day. Joseph Fiennes and John Cho.
Yes, it was Entertainment Tonight's fault the name on the cake was spelled wrong, but you would think Jon Gosselin would have picked up on it.
John Legend - Washington DC
Peter and Vandy is supposed to be great. Here are Jesse L. Martin, Jess Weixler, and Jason Ritter.
And another Jason, Jason Schwartz. He isn't in Peter and Vandy, he just happens to be another Jason after Jason Ritter and a few pictures beneath where I mentioned Jason Bateman.
Megadeath - Melbourne
Pierce Brosnan and Alec Baldwin.
"Oh, God. That bean burrito is kicking back."
"Hopefully no one will notice."
"Yes, I will blame it on William."
Patric Dempsey getting set to race in Miami.
Can monkeys get herpes?
Reggie looks thrilled to be back with Kim again.
Big shot Bob! The one player Lakers & Spurs fans can like.
Not a movie set and Rachel McAdams is pulling her own luggage.
Tom & Rita.
For the Taylor Lautner fans out there.

Your Turn

Today I thought I would go for something fun. What is the best excuse you have ever given or heard for not having sex with someone. It could be as simple as the famous I have a headache or it could be like the one which is my all-time favorite. A woman was relating a story to me where she said that she was once having sex with a guy and after about five minutes she stopped him and said, "This just isn't going to work. I'm bored and about go to sleep." That has to hurt the ego just a touch. They didn't go out again. Shocker, I know. Oh, and I will enable the anonymous comments since it is about sex.

I Already Forgot About Kari Ann Peniche

Everyone needs something to talk about today and since I'm tired of talking about the Gosselins I figured I might as well talk about Kari Ann Peniche. Access Hollywood interviewed her this week so she could respond to Mindy McCready's interview where Mindy said Kari Ann was a madam and a prostitute.

In the interview of Kari they let her try to set the record straight. She tried, but failed to convince me she wasn't a prostitute.

“Are you now, or have you ever been a madam?” Access Hollywood asked.

“I’ve never been a madam. I’ve never been a prostitute,” Kari Ann said. “Mindy is the craziest person I have ever met in my entire life. Like, she’s insane.”

So, you would think that if someone called you these things you would sue. Right? I mean someone said you sold sex for money and were a pimp and getting money for other people having sex. You would want to clear your name or take Mindy to court right?

“To say somebody is a prostitute is libelous,” Access Hollywood said.

“Yeah,” Kari Ann replied.

“Nobody’s suing Mindy for saying these things, these liable, horrible things. Why? … Why is that not happening?” Access Hollywood asked.

“I have no idea. I have no idea,” Kari Ann said. “I don’t know… I have no idea.”

“But if she’s proven to be a liar, doesn’t that vindicate you?” Access Hollywood asked.

“I just think the truth is the truth,” Kari Ann replied. “Karma is like good enough and you know, I mean if it continues then you know maybe I’ll have to do something about that.”

Yeah, karma huh? Well, I think Mindy already had about as much bad karma as one person can get, so I don't know what more Kari Ann thinks karma can do to Mindy. Kari Ann doesn't want to sue because I have a feeling she thinks she is going to lose. She also denied being hired by Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane as Mindy alleged and they were just friends. I noticed that Rebecca and Eric haven't sued Mindy about that statement either. Interesting considering that Eric & Rebecca are not shy about litigation as the fine people over at Gawker have discovered.

Ralph Lauren Finally Admits They Retouched Photo

Last month when the photo above was first posted, Ralph Lauren didn't say there was anything wrong with it and also refused to say whether it was retouched. Further, they said even if it had been retouched they were not the ones responsible. Well, after a month of getting hammered by the site Boing Boing, Ralph Lauren finally came clean and admitted they had retouched the image and yes, it was their fault.

This is what the company had to say. "For over 42 years, we have built a brand based on quality and integrity. After further investigation, we have learned that we are responsible for the poor imaging and retouching that resulted in a very distorted image of a woman’s body. We have addressed the problem and going forward will take every precaution to ensure that the caliber of our artwork represents our brand appropriately."
So, basically what they are saying is that the world caught them in a lie and now what they will do is make sure they can find some models who actually look like that picture. I am beyond disgusted they altered a photo like that and how they have this vision that everyone in the world needs to look like a cracked out Lindsay Lohan or like they are walking on sticks like Tori Spelling. That is not how people look. People come in all shapes and sizes and they sell clothes in all shapes and sizes so it isn't like this is new to them. Why can't you have models of all shapes and sizes in your catalogs? The picture in the middle is how the model really looks.

Ted C Blind Item

Let's get something straight right now: Yes, I often write Blind Vices that are fairly obvious; this one isn't. That's a pretty big clue. And so, too, is Slink-a-Rella Jiggle's rear end.

See, it's the main thing that got her beautifully bodied man, Dumbo Pecs, to ask her to marry him (her boobs sure didn't hurt, either). Well, that and the fact that Slink-a-Rella wasn't exactly actually Dumbo's first choice to be his wife. So Pec thought, Well, I do like Slinky's big ol' bottom, so why the hell not give this a try, huh?

Aren't men funny? They make life decisions based on the most interesting things, like the notion that Dumbo also felt marriage to Slinky would...

...help his career, which is the most stupidass thing I've ever heard.

What Dumbo wasn't really paying attention to (since he's not really great about heeding the advice of those he pays to give it to him) was the unavoidable fact that his career was doing, uh, doing quite nicely before he ever met Ms. Jiggle. And if anything, Dumbo's marriage to Slink-a-Rella has stalled his pro job, if only a bit.

Will Dumbo's day gig continue to sorta meander along, you think, until this kind of weirdo marriage of his suddenly busts up, as most of his friends think it will? And pretty messily, at that. Hard to say. And besides, a good pair of butt cheeks is hard to find in this town of starved women, so can't say I blame Mr. Pecs all that much.

And It Ain't: Beyoncé & Jay-Z, Kendra Wilkinson & Hank Baskett, Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon

Dina Lohan Says Lindsay Lohan's Creative Ability Is From God

I made fun of Dina Lohan's shoe line yesterday. Well at the shoe launch she spoke to the press and while speaking to the NY Post invoked God's name not once, but twice. Oh, and she also said that Lindsay would be helping out with the shoe line. Pasties on shoes? Love it.

In her statement she first took a swipe at Michael Lohan. That is pretty much par for the course. She says that he never talks to Lindsay. I think sometimes he does, but not as much as he would have the magazines believe. It's tough to get money for stories otherwise.

"I can't change Michael to make him do the right thing -- that's up to him and God. But it is hurtful for a child for her own father, whom she has no relationship with, to say things in public about her like that."

She was referring to the fact that he said Lindsay is addicted to prescription drugs. When The Post asked her if Lindsay was addicted (Applause to The Post for asking the question) Dina didn't say no. Interesting.

"I have no idea what he is talking about. I can't comment on everything my ex says."

Ummm, you do comment on everything he says because that is how you keep your name in the press and make a little extra cash. I think we can go ahead and take this as a confirmation she is addicted to something.

As for Lindsay, Dina again said Lindsay is a genius. Her other kids? She didn't have anything to say about them. If you don't bring in money for Dina, she isn't going to talk about you.

"Leave Lindsay alone. Let her be a real 23-year-old. Let her grow, and let her artistic abilities flourish. Stop judging the Britneys and the Lindsays. They are very creative girls, and that is a gift from a higher power of God."

Apparently God is a kleptomaniac who loves pasties and Vicodin. Who knew?

Katie Holmes' Publicist Ghostwrites For OK!

Excuse me for a second. I realize now that I'm typing and so you have no idea that I can't stop coughing from laughing so hard. I could write this blog for the next 20 years and I don't think that I will ever find an article so clearly written or dictated by a publicist than this one from OK! Magazine. Actually it could have been written by a Tom Cruise publicist so I guess I shouldn't put the blame entirely on Katie's people or person.

The headline says, "Katie Tells Tom To Slim Down With Sex"

My first reaction when I read it was to ask who is Kate telling Tom to have sex with. Seriously because I have never imagined them having sex and I would actually be shocked if you told me they did.

With a headline like that how could I resist the article where I found out that “Katie is in incredible shape,” says a source. “She is constantly watching what she eats and she works out every day. But Tom had been complaining about how hard it is at 47 to keep off the pounds, so Katie vowed to help him out.”

Honestly, that part is believable and if they had kept it there I would have called bullshit that they talked to anyone who knew, but at least it was believable crap.

“Katie loves to cook – and she especially enjoys baking sweet treats,” reveals the insider. “And Tom’s favorite things are her homemade chocolate chip cookies, fudge brownies, and her famous chocolate covered popcorn. Those are the things Tom can’t resist, so he’s pleaded with Katie not to make them until he has time to lose a little weight. Katie wants to help him out, so she agreed."

See, this shows Katie as the perfect little homemaker who cooks for her man and bakes and is willing to help him out when he needs it. Who knew that Katie was famous for her chocolate covered popcorn. I bet it's amazing.

“She also has him eating fewer carbs and more lean protein. So instead of filling his plate with lots of pasta and red meat, she’s ordered him to load up on autumn vegetables like squash and sweet potatoes, as well as chicken and fish.”

How remarkable that autumn has been with us for just two weeks and already Katie has him loading up on autumn vegetables. That is a timely coincidence. What if they had spoken to this source three weeks ago? Would they have said that Katie was ordering Tom to enjoy the last remnants of summer's goodness? No, of course not because Tom just started this diet now because he overloaded on her brownies at Labor Day.

Here is the part to make you hurl and laugh at the same time. It is a complicated procedure so if you don't think you can comfortably manage the feat, then please do not read any further.

“Katie read somewhere that you burn up 600 calories just by having sex three to four times a week,” the source reveals. “So she’s told Tom to think about how much they’d burn up if they put daily sex sessions on their schedule!

“Tom thinks the sex order is the best part of Katie’s diet plan, and he’s promised to up the bedroom romps whenever they are in the same town… just for the sake of his diet!” dishes the insider.

So not only does Katie cook and take care of her man she is the one who initiates sex and wants it all the time. And to think people will actually pay to read this. Well, not many people because lets face it, OK! is really in the tank and it is probably because of absolute crap like this. I would rather read true stories about D listers than to have to see made up crap like this.

The Hoff Checks Out London Hospitals

Tired of seeing the inside of Los Angeles hospitals after drinking binges, The Hoff decided to take his world drinking tour to London this week. In town for the Simon Cowell 50th birthday party meant The Hoff had pretty much been drinking non-stop for several days before finally accidentally hitting a doctor who had come to check on him at the request of the hotel where The Hoff was staying. The Sun is reporting The Hoff was released this morning from a London hospital after a two day stay to dry out from his recent binge.

The hotel staff at St. Martins Lane Hotel had called the doctor because they were afraid something really horrible was going to happen. The Hoff had been drinking in the bars at the hotel and other public spaces and had been yelling at and verbally abusing the staff and customers of the hotel and they finally had enough.

When the doctor came to get The Hoff with some other people, Hoff put up a struggle and at that time the doctor accidentally got punched.

Doh! Marge Simpson Naked

Well in the past we have seen the naked butt of Bart Simpson and now it looks like that if you have been having secret fantasies of what Marge Simpson would look like naked, now is your chance. In honor of the 20th anniversary of The Simpsons, Marge will be naked on the cover of the magazine and have her own three page pictorial. Sounds exciting huh? Three pages of pale green skin and to see if that blue hair is everywhere.

Today's Blind Items

This A list movie actor recently quit a very high profile movie he was to begin shooting. There was no real reason why he suddenly decided to take a pass. Well, the reason is a pass. It turns out that the A list actor hit on the wife of his fellow A list co-star who threatened to walk out if the offender wasn't fired. Our A list lecher was allowed to quit rather than being fired.

Random Photos Part One

Mario Batali and Jimmy Buffett. How could this not get the top spot? Food and margaritas and music? Please. Guaranteed. Oh, unless Goopy was in the picture, then no can do.
Look, Ali loves her daddy.
They love mesh. Don't you just love when I can work that picture into the blog?
"Mom" was busy promoting her new shoe line called Shoe-Han. Yeah, that sounds attractive.
Balthazar Getty out for a change.
Sometimes I have these fantasies about Cheryl Hines. I think it is because her last name reminds me of ketchup.
Ileana Douglas had a very busy night. Here she is with the SNL alumnus who has the most work done, Cheri Oteri and also Justine Bateman.
Then Ileana performed as part of her fake Swedish group Sparhusen.
Then she changed clothes and got groped by Tom Arnold.
And finally posed with Keanu Reeves who
you really don't want to ever see this close to you.
Emmy Rossum and Adam Duritz doing the publicity dating thing. No, it's real. Well, maybe.
Even Jessica Alba can't pass up the sale at Fred Segal.
James Denton makes a teacher's life much, much better yesterday.
Jeff Gordon and Dale Jr. were in town and were spotted making out later. No, not really I just wanted to see if NASCAR fans would flood my inbox.
A first time appearance for JoAnna Garcia.
Josh Hartnett at the Pusan Film Festival with Lee Byung-Hun.
Jennifer Hudson and her new baby. Although I doubt a baby could be old. I guess I should have said newborn.
How can I not post this picture of Jonte Moaning?
Or this one? I just wish I had some video to go with it.
"Suri get down from there or you will be audited."
"Audited? I will show you audited."
"I stick my finger in the thing and it measures my pulse."
Kate Hudson makes sure she gets in the photo.
So, if Kelly Rutherford buys this Christmas candy now how do you think it will taste in almost three months when Christmas actually occurs?
Ladyhawke cleaned up at the Vodafone awards with 6.
Melissa Joan Hart still trying to live down the Farrah Fawcett incident.
I will admit it. Nicole Kidman looks amazing here.
I sent an e-mail to Natalie Portman's publicist asking for the reason why she signed the Roman Polanski petition. Still no reply. Here she is with the gorgeous Mila Kunis.
Pat Benatar - New York
Phantom Of The Opera 2 aka Love Never Dies.
I hope that when Katy Perry and Russell Brand exchange kisses that for the good of the world it looks like
the way Tyra Banks and Chris Rock are doing it.
Rufus!!