Four For Friday

This week I got a 4am call from someone I had not seen in about a year and a half and she was just chatty chatty at 4am. I am not chatty chatty at 4am and tried to hang up about 10 times. She would have none of that and kept talking until there was no chance of falling back asleep. At that point she hung up. Well, she has a long history on this site, and was the subject of one of the very first long blind items. I think it is time we had another look at Vixen.

November 2006

This item is extremely juicy, but also very long. I was going to make it two separate small, blind items, but decided to combine them and just make one big one. Also, I think someone needs to come up with some definitions for A List - D List celebrities.

To set the stage here, this all takes place in Malibu so look up which celebs live there and that will give you a head start. We have a vixen who is mid to late 30's who might have been A list for about five minutes.Faded teen starlet who hit it big on tv, but now is strictly movies (when she can get them) who tries to stay in the mix but really lives well beyond her means, especially considering her lack of work and lack of marriages. As far as I know she has not been married.

Along comes her neighbor, a nice 16 year old boy with a typical surfer look (my client), but a dad who made it very big in the music business as a producer and has been married and lived with multiple women many of whom are very well known actresses.

16 year old boy gets arrested for possession of cocaine and dad wonders where kid got it as dad has been clean for a very long time. It turns out it was given to him by Vixen the neighbor lady who has introduced Surfer Boy to the wonders of the white powder and has also introduced him to other intimate activities. Surfer Boy thinks he is in love of course and dad is pissed to say the least. Surfer Boy starts discussing things he has seen at the house which explain how Vixen has managed such a nice place to live on a little amount of film and tv work and no live in or former husbands around. It seems that everyone in this little neighborhood knew to come to Vixen for all their pharmaceutical needs and Surfer Boy has not only seen who was coming in and out each day, but also how often and how much they were buying.

Surfer Boy originally told the police he got the coke from a friend and would not give up the name. It was not until he and dad came to my office that the whole story comes out. This is a no brainer and we call the DA and Vixen is arrested. If you look hard enough you will find the arrest in the newspaper. Surfer Boy makes a deal and is shipped off to New York to be with his mom and away from Vixen. Meanwhile Vixen is so far up the pipeline that she cuts her own deal of which I am not familiar with the details. I do know that within 48 hours of her deal the Mexican police acting with DEA officers made a sweep in the LA area and on the California/Mexico border.

The VERY interesting thing about this is that Vixen kept very good records and also paid taxes on her earnings. The records have some very interesting names and it is those names that helped her stay out of the public eye during this, EXCEPT for the actual arrest. The people Vixen was supplying were not only celebrities who often paid with funds from their employers, but also maids, drivers, bodyguards, etc. and Vixen knew who each was buying for.

Surfer Boy escaped from New York (wasn't that a movie?) and actually was found the next day at Vixen's house (next door to dad--well I never said he was smart) Vixen's corruption sexually of the boy was never made an issue, but dad made it an issue at that time so Vixen found a new toy and Surfer Boy went back to NY with a broken heart where he has subsequently (within the past couple of months) been photographed with a VERY A list female but with no idea of how it came to be. They should have read it here first.

Random Photos Part One

Anthony Bourdain gets the top spot today. I like him a lot, but his position probably has more to do with the fact that I just watched all of Season 6 of No Reservations this week and so he in my consciousness.
Apparently someone said something bad about Brad Pitt.
The McCord sisters multiply like the Duggar's.
Speaking of Brad Pitt. This is him in France, but I am assuming he is wearing underpants. I know, but it is Friday and I am drinking. These things are terribly funny to me right now.
Do you get the feeling that Chris Messina and Sam Rockwell just got flashed?
And this is just a candid of Clive Owen. No photoshopping. The guy looks damn good.
Jennifer Aniston being the good sport she is agreed to test the woman's eyewear prescription.
I too spend long hours as a child listening to the sounds of the ocean in old cans of vegetables.
Jennifer Lopez is in Rome for her clothing collection Yamamay. For some reason I thought that was a Michael McDonald song, but I could be wrong.
It actually looks like Jude Law is reading the program before he signs it.
Notice the woman taking a picture of Piven spread open.
Kelly Clarkson - New York
Kevin McFederline is filming a reality show in Vegas.
Kings Of Leon - New York
Katie Lee Joel is not unattractive. But there comes a point when you are dating her that you would probably say to yourself, "she had sex with Billy Joel." I don't even think Viagra would work at that point.
Mischa Barton in New York.
Mario Lopez with a bunch of toys for kids. It looks like he even got Chris Brown one.
Two wonderful women. Martha Stewart and Nora Ephron.
Apparently when you roll with Peter Andre you roll in all black.
This seems pretty much barely there.
But Pamela can even make it less clothing. At this point I think it is only laws that are keeping her from going entirely naked at all times.
"Bueller? Bueller?"
I'm going to see this movie. I can't help it. I want to.
Scarlett J doing her own tribute to Little House On The Prairie.
The Tucci would get best dressed if not for Mr. Owen above.
I love Sela Ward. I don't love those jeans. It looks like Dolly Parton's closet exploded.
Tyne Daly bringing back the pink leather tie. Do you remember when Cagney & Lacey was the s**t?
Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift do their reenactment of what Jessica Simpson's birthday party may have been like.
About as unkempt as you are ever likely to see Victoria Beckham.

Your Turn

I know what it is like to be hot. Even in the middle of winter in Alaska I would probably be sweating. Sweat and a big man are two things that go hand in hand. I know that much of the country has had some world record type heat. It is this last week of July and first week of August that you retreat to your air conditioning and pool if you are lucky enough to have one and don't plan on emerging until the cool, crisp sounds of fall. Oh, and by the way I saw a store already had out Halloween stuff. Seriously. Anyway, bad store behavior is not my point here. I was thinking about pools and lakes and other bodies of water and want to know one very simple question. Skinny dipping. Yes or No? Have you done it? Would you do it? Where did you do it? Did anything bite you?

Real Housewives Gets Real Ugly

On most reality shows there is a clause in the contract which says that if you physically attack anyone then you are gone. There is just too much liability for the producers to let the aggressor stay on the program. You can yell and scream and have sex with as many people as you want, but please, no hitting. It is after all against the law.

Well, Bravo must have some different rules for their Housewives because two of them got into a huge fight. Just in time for the new season of RHOA, Nene and Kim got into a fight. According to Entertainment Tonight, "Kim was going to shoot a scene for "Real Housewives of Atlanta" and got into an argument with NeNe. While they were fighting, NeNe started to point her fingers in Kim's face. The report claims that when witnesses tried to break them up, NeNe grabbed [Kim] by the neck and tried to choke her out."

Kim then drove herself to the police station and filed a report. I am sure that in her car she had a camera crew with her and that another stayed behind to show NeNe's reaction and I have no doubts that in the upcoming weeks Bravo will promote the heck out of this incident in order to get more of you to watch.

The report says that the police were unable to find NeNe when they went looking for her. Umm, did you try and look for the woman being trailed by a camera crew? Did you ask the camera crew with Kim if they were in contact with the other camera crew? This doesn't sound that hard.

Who Knew There Was A Mattress Domino World Record?

The things you can learn on the internet never ceases to amaze me. Earlier this week a mattress company in the UK set the world record for mattress dominoes. They set up 41 mattresses which all took a tumble. The great thing about the video is that each mattress has a person attached. Most seem prepared for the mattress to knock into them, but there are others where you can see they were really unprepared and they go flying. It also has a great ending. And it the best part is it has no Chris Brown music. Bonus.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which skinny singer's eating disorder has got so bad that she's bought a butter knife which, she tells pals, she uses to make herself sick?

Jason Statham & Kristin Cavallari - WTF?

With the exception of Bank Job which I just can't seem to get excited about, I really love all Jason Statham movies. They aren't going to make you think, there is always action and the acting doesn't usually make you cringe. I also happen to know that most women find him somewhat attractive. Must be the accent. Oh, sure it could be the body, but I prefer to think of it as the accent and that way when I sit in the basement at night practicing my British accent I know it is for something useful and has possibilities. His body isn't going to happen for me. Ever.

So, it was surprising to see in US Weekly that Jason was spotted making out and with Kristin in the corner of some party. I mean someone from The Hills? Really? You would think he could do a whole lot better. Kristin isn't ugly but she is on The Hills. Come on.

Apparently the relationship isn't serious and was described as a hookup. The source also said it was going to happen again. At that point it isn't a hookup. At that point it is a booty call and the next thing you know he is on a very special episode of The Hills and she is in Transporter 4 and the whole thing just turns into a circus.

Michael Cera Becomes Famous - Dumps His Girlfriend

Michael Cera has dumped his long time girlfriend Charlyne Yi because, well he is an actor and wants to have sex like Russell Brand. According to Star, Michael got tired of only dating his girlfriend of three years and wanted to play the field. "He's been with her since before he was superfamous, and now all these girls fawn over him. He's itching to date other people."

Well if he dates too many people he will probably start itching, and it won't be pleasant. He also needs to realize that he plays one character and one character only and so his fame is going to be very fleeting. There are only so many possibilities for someone of his range. What he really needs to be doing instead of screwing over someone who is loyal to him and gave him a charity date when he wasn't famous is be loyal to the people over at Arrested Development who also were with him before he became famous.

Loyalty just goes out the window in this town when you get famous. It sucks but there isn't anything I am going to be able to do about it except call people out when they do something. Charlyne is said to be crushed. What makes this even more painful is they are doing a press tour for Paper Heart which is a movie they did together.

MC Hammer's Cousin Arrested On Rape Charge

I don't watch the MC Hammer show on A&E. Hell, I didn't even know MC Hammer had a reality show at all. I think there should just be some master list of all celebrities who have been in or on a reality show. I realize it would include just about every celebrity and their relatives, but someone in the universe must have the time to compile such a list.

Well on Hammer's show he apparently features his cousin Bigg Marv. Don't ask me why he spells big with two gg's, but I am sure it must be something he picked up from Snoop Dogg. Well, Bigg Marv started flirting with someone he met on Twitter and the next thing you know Bigg Marv is being accused of raping the woman.

A police officer in Livermore, CA said the woman was attacked after she spurned Bigg Marv's advances. Hammer of course thinks the charges are completely false and blames it all on Bigg Marv being famous. On his own Twitter page, Hammer wrote,

"We're standing by him. (Marv) Welcome to Fame Cousin Marv. We're praying for you.

"Thanks for your Prayers for Bigg Marv. He's a good guy, he has not been exposed to the 'World of Fame' where you become 'The Prey.'"

Marv is the prey? What about the woman involved here? You don't think she felt like prey? Where is her support? Just because some guy is famous he can't have committed a rape? I am not rushing to judgment or anything but I think Hammer could have shown a little more respect towards the woman and not just simply blamed all of this on fame. Hammer's statement has made it a certainty I won't ever be watching his show.

Mariah Carey Is An Alcoholic

One of the problems with having a war of words with Eminem is that he is used to insulting people for a living and can come up with more stuff to make you look bad every few minutes. For Mariah Carey to make someone look bad she has to wake up at around 10 in her Cinderella carriage(yes, she has one), summon Nick from his bunk bed in the next room, have her staff carry her to her office and then finally let the day begin.

When Mariah decided to get back at Eminem by dressing as him in her most recent video it set off something she probably wishes she could stop. Plus, Nick is probably whining like a kid wondering why Eminem has dirty voice mails and naked pictures of Mariah. Can you hear him whining?

Oh, and Eminem also says Mariah is an alcoholic. I can see that. I have no doubts that Mariah drinks champagne non-stop each day. Oh, and then switches to Red Bulls and vodkas later in the day. Below are some of the lyrics from Eminem's new song. Notice the part about the voicemails. He says that he has some from right before she flipped her top. That was when she did the whole MTV thing and Glitter came out and she took a rest. Those would be interesting to hear.

"Only reason I dissed you in the first place is because you denied seeing me. Now I'm p***ed off. I'm obsessed now. Oh gee, is that supposed to be me in the video with the goatee?

"B***h, shut the f**k up before I put all them phone calls out you made to my house. How many times you fly to my house? Still trying to count. Better shut your lying mouth if you don't want Nick finding out. You probably think since it's been so long if I had something on you I woulda did it by now. On the contrary, Mary Poppins, I'm mixing our studio session down and sending it to mastering to make it loud. Enough dirt on you to murder you. Mariah, it ever occur to you that I still have pictures?

"Call my bluff and I'll release every f***ing thing I got including the voicemails right before you flipped your top.

"It cuts like a (knife) when I tell ya get a (life). But I'm movin' on with mine. Nick, is that your wife. Well tell her to shut her mouth then I'll leave her alone. If she don't then I'm just gonna keep goin."

The Jessica Simpson Stories Just Don't Stop

Well the good news is this story has absolutely nothing to do with Tony Romo. The bad news is that four consecutive days of Jessica Simpson stories probably sets a record. She should get dumped more often. Not only does the world feel somewhat sympathetic towards her, she hasn't received this much publicity since her farmer fruit tour. That is my term for any type of fair that incorporates a fruit. The so and so Peach Festival or something like that. Oh, and one of the other requirements is there has to be a Miss Peach Festival and she has to be 18 and the daughter of either a farmer or the car dealer in town who agreed to loan out cars for the parade featuring his daughter.

Anyway, the NY Post is reporting that on Jessica's new television show called The Price Of Beauty that she is taking price to a whole new level. Apparently she managed to talk VH-1 into giving her a budget of $25,000 an episode for hair and makeup. That is a monstrous amount of money for a low budget cable travel show. I would say 99% of the people involved in the show will make less than the hair and makeup person. The Post says VH-1 is pissed. Hey they are the ones who signed the contracts. As for Jessica's people, they say, "A budget was approved when the deal was made. All parties were satisfied."

When a spokesperson says all parties were satisfied it means they are laughing their asses off while the other side fires someone.

Daily Mirror Story On Britney Spears Doesn't Have Any Truth In It

There is a story in The Mirror today which is a heartwarming tale of a daughter who loves her dad and as a thank you gift buys him his very own restaurant. In this case the father/daughter is Britney Spears and her dad. The only problem about this story is that it couldn't happen.

The article says, "Britney just wanted to give him something useful as a sign of her appreciation. After all their ups and downs she knows he's always got her best interests at heart."

Britney is currently under the care of a conservator who happens to be her dad. When Britney wants any money, dad has to give it to her. Her father has to account to the court for any moneys he gives her. Britney has no money of her own. None. It is like a child who is dependent on allowance and the tooth fairy to make ends meet. Imagine that same toothless allowance dependent child buying a restaurant for their dad. Yeah, it couldn't happen. Even if Britney said she wanted to buy it for him, he would be the one writing the check and then going to the court and explaining to them that he spent all this money on himself because his daughter who needs financial and physical control wanted to buy it for him. Uh huh. That should go over really well. "No, your honor, she wanted me to spend $1M on myself."

It was a touching story though. Just don't let Britney near the place. Do you remember Nyla?

Ted C Blind Item

What a mess Terry Tush-Trade feels overwhelmed by right now, both professionally and personally.

If only someone could shake Terry's well-coiffed little head and say it's all OK, you've got the world before you, fans are quivering at your gorgeous toes—you have nothing to worry about, sweet stuff!

But Terry just doesn't see it that way, not at all. Result: The good-looking Twilight franchise performer is sinking further and further into checking out, via booze and drugs, nothing too heavy right now, but we all know where that getting-high road leads, right?

Dammit, get it together, Tush-Trade, before it's too late! Pressure to perform for Summit in top-capacity isn't the only thing troubling TTT. As we told you before, Terr-bear's got a little lovin' secret (actually not so secret) that's already creating pressure for the beauty. Not to mention affairs of the heart from both sexes pulling TTT strongly.

And now, to add to that very Toothy Tile-esque endeavor, Terry's getting piles more directions from Summit on how to act, what to say, what not to say, don't go there, don't wink this, don't utter that—Terry's goin' nutso in the process!

Therefore, Tush-Trade's mode of response has become increasingly...

Soaked in the 80-proof stuff, not to mention smoking this and popping that, just to keep it together.

Oh, if only everybody concerned (mainly you, Summit, you chastising corporate spoilsports) would let Terry be the natural bisexual lover Tush-Trade was born as. I mean, certainly didn't hurt Angelina Jolie any, right? She finally chose a mate to settle down with, once she was allowed to romp and roam on whichever mattress she chose.

And good for her! It's one of the things we admire about Jolie, that she never hid her sexuality, something Terry's dying to do, as well.

But Terry keeps getting told, "Pull that one, and you're on the next train to Rachelle Lefevre-ville." And we all know where that is: totally the wrong side of the career tracks...for now, at least.

Fight back, Terry and Rachelle, you can both change the world!

It Ain't: Rachelle Lefevre, Ashley Greene, Billy Burke

Today's Blind Items

This B-/C+ movie and sometime television actress was at a recent party. Not a big deal. She was drinking shots at the party. Again, not a big deal probably but it depends who you ask. She then proceeded to start taking body shots off other women. Then, just when you didn't think she could drink anymore, she started doing lines of coke off males or females on any part of their body they put it on. God I love this town.

Random Photos Part One

Chris Isaak - Newport, Rhode Island
Amy Adams has some really well defined calves.
A lot of movies have been made if you combine the careers of Ang Lee and Meryl Streep.
No pole and no dad. Brooke Hogan seems sad.
That whole Travel Channel blind I ran has kind of ruined the Bridget love I had.
The ridiculously good looking couple of the day photo goes to Brent & Tamara Zachary.
A first time appearance for Chelsea Handler.
I haven't seen Cory Kennedy in ages. Here she is with Alfie Allen.
And let the paychecks commence.
And mama is there to make sure she gets the checks made out to her.
Something doesn't look quite right about Chloe Sevigny. Brooke Shields looks like she is feeling no pain.
One of the funniest people around is Demetri Martin. I know you have probably never heard of him but he is hilarious.
Emile Hirsch - "Umm, sure I guess I will pose with a flower."
Liev Schreiber - "Umm, no I won't be posing with flowers." He might have thrown in an F bomb or two with that.
Vanessa Carlton - "Sure, I will pose with a flower. I would walk 1,000 miles to pose with a flower."
I think this is Claire Danes actually being funny. It works. It made me laugh.
Green Day - Washington DC
It's checking up on baby time. Jessica Alba.
The twins.
A first time ever picture of Denise's kids smiling.
And the best looking baby of the bunch.
Graham Norton and "guest."
I'm guessing Kellan Lutz burped. Whatever it is, Nikki Reed is dying.
Speaking of babies. Follow me with this. Here is Mandy Moore.
Here is Mandy Moore with Camila Alves, Ciara and a ringless Rachel Bilson. Rachel cracks me up. Someone calls her out on not wearing her ring and then for two or three days she wears it and makes sure everyone sees it and then goes back to not wearing it. Anyway, I lost my train of thought. Oh yeah. Mandy and babies.
Look at the look on Ciara's face and the guy. Plus you have a pregnant Camila. This is not a how are you, nice to meet you expression. Could this be Mandy telling Ciara she is pregnant?
Michelle Rodriguez has lost a lot of weight.
Penelope Cruz. It's ok, but not spectacular.
Someone tried to give Paul a Merlot.
The Specials - Melbourne
Vin Diesel looking like a tool.