Rihanna Does The Naked Cell Phone Picture Thing

I generally ignore the naked cell phone picture type things unless it is someone big. I ignored all the Cassie pictures this week because, except for dating Diddy she hasn't done diddly. Cute huh? Plus, I'm pretty sure it was all for publicity anyway. But, Rihanna naked is an entirely different kind of story and I am wondering who decided to leak all of these. This should be a very interesting story. Click here to see the NSFW ones. The picture below is from the same session. It is allegedly Chris Brown. Notice the mirror in the background and then compare it to the mirror in the NSFW photos and you will see it is the same.

Four For Friday - Mother's Day Edition

I posted this blind item last Memorial Day weekend, but it happened during a Mother's Day weekend and when I think of Mother's Day, it is one of my first memories. Sorry mom. Anyway, it is one of my favorite stories and I don't usually repost old blind items, but I thought I would make an exception this time. Plus, there may be new readers since last year who haven't read it. I didn't change anything so the Memorial Day references may seem odd. You can click on the title if you want to see the old guesses.

A Mother's Day To Remember

Obviously this would have been more relevant if I had posted it a few weeks ago, but hey, if you have learned anything over the past two years of reading this blog, it is that I'm a bit lazy, or busy or both. Can you be lazy and busy? Is it because you are lazy that you are busy? Anyway, at least it's still May so this is still kind of relevant. Plus, it's all you are getting today unless Mischa Barton decides to show herself. If you think only actresses skip out on Cannes and their obligations, then you obviously didn't read about my adventure tracking down a certain director who should have known better as well. If you haven't read it, shame on you, but just click the label, long blind item at the bottom of this, and you shouldn't have to scroll too far down. Give you something to do anyway if you are at work. Sorry if you are. I probably should be as well, but sometimes you just have to say f**k it. If you did read about the director, then you will enjoy this because it also takes place in Europe. People always e-mail and ask how come I don't write more of the longer items, and the answer is simple. I used to all the time. But, inevitably the longer items involve me, and honestly, too many people read the blog now, and it isn't like I haven't told the stories to other people before, so I try and keep them to a minimum. I know you like them, but there are other people to consider as well, and you have to remember, when I tell them at a party I usually name names. No, not in the big ones. The MV's of the world and some of the other deeply intimate ones, are locked up in the mind. The one you are about to read isn't known to very many people because, honestly, the four of us did some things that we are not necessarily proud of, and as a consequence we were not exactly running back home and sharing it to the rest of the world. That being said, enough time has gone by, that if you ask one of the others, or myself, we are not exactly hiding anything. I mean it is being written now isn't it?

Happened about ten years ago. Throw in a year or so on either side just to make you work, but it isn't the most difficult one in the world to figure out. Four people. #1 is me. Hell, it's my blog, I'll be #1 thank you very much. #2 is a singer and so from now on will refer to him as SR just to keep things easier. Great guy. One hit wonder, but it was a hell of a hit, and he has no problems with being a one hit wonder. If you do figure out him, and see who he worked with when he first started, it does open up a bunch of other clues about another person who has contributed to the blog. This singer was riding the high from this #1 song when this little adventure took place. I absolutely, positively guarantee you that each and every person who is reading this blog has heard this song, and hummed along or sung to it. #3 is an actor. Honestly, doesn't do much now. At the time though had a very nice run going on a very hit show. Although he wasn't with her at the time, he was the guy who introduced me to AP, so you have that whole thing going. He had a very recognizable face and still does if you watch reruns. We will call #3 AR for actor. Finally we have #4. #4 is someone none of you know or will know and is only in the story because he was there, and since he was there, it kind of makes sense for him to be mentioned, although he will not be heard from much, and you will soon discover why. We will call him NN for no name. Cute huh?

I had met SR when he was just starting out because he was friends with and working for one of my best friends at the time. Damn that is vague, but it is what it is. He and I had hung out and liked each other, but lived in different cities. If we happened to be in the same city at the same time we hung out and we kept in touch when not. AR and I had just kind of met by chance at some function or other and at the time he was seeing AP, so I might have wanted to meet her more than him, but it turns out that I ended up with two friends which is really nice. After that initial meeting though, we rarely talked or saw each other. Once or twice a year we would run into each other and do the whole we should hang out more often thing, and of course never did.

So fast forward a few years from when I first met AR, and into the present. The present at the time this happened, and not the present as in now, because, well that would be odd. Turns out AR and SR are working together on something and my name comes up. They are drunk and of course invite me, because, hey, I'm a lush and they know I'll bring booze. So, I go over to AR's house where they are drunk out of their minds, and the next thing you know SR is saying he has a five day window free, and AR just finished shooting his show for the year, and everyone knows I won't be missed where I was working at the time. Too true. The fourth came about because we wanted to go eat some chicken and waffles at 3am and so I called the one guy who had less of a life than me and NN came and picked us all up and he somehow got drafted to be the fourth.

SR had to be in London a week from then, and so we decided to hit Europe. For some reason we decided to go to Amsterdam, but it wasn't for the reasons you think. It was actually because the flights to Paris the next day were completely booked. That had been our first choice. Well, turns out all the flights to Amsterdam were booked as well, but we did find four seats to Brussels. One note. This was prior to the extensive use of internet booking. There may have well been seats available, but the yellow pages, 3am, and being drunk does not lead to much checking beyond one or two calls per city.

So, let's catch you up. As far as I go, I had awakened at probably 8am, worked all day, went home, was about to go to sleep when AR and SR called. Got drunk beyond belief with them, and got maybe two hours of sleep before we got on a plane to from Los Angeles to New York. There may have been a brief nap in between the Bloody's, but it wasn't long. Then got on a flight from New York to Brussels and this is where the real fun starts.

While all the other flights may have been booked, this flight was empty. As in ten people in Business Class and another ten in the back. More crew than passengers. Well, AR seeing the situation on one of the trips to the bathroom says this just won't do. Because the flight attendants were all in love with him, he convinced them to let all the passengers fly up in Business, and then proceeded to drink. We all drank. And drank, and drank. By the time the flight landed, all of the beverage carts were empty. Dry. Nothing. There was one family and the rest were men as I remember. Drinking, cards and swearing, oh and lots of smoking. This airline hadn't switched yet and it was like a thick fog of smoke. Amount of sleep? 0

Landed in Brussels and the first thing that is noticed is that at some point SR has managed to throw up all over himself. Wiped it off to some extent, but looking rough and he was being really surly. Going through customs and everyone is just holding up their passports and getting waved through. Then comes SR. Apparently he had taken offense to a kid from the family stepping on his foot and so was swearing loudly. So much for a smooth ride through customs. "Yes, we are with him. Sure, we'll be glad to wait." Somehow we were on our way really quickly. I just remember that what I thought was probably going to be an hour ended up being like five minutes.

Next. To the car rental counter where we waited and waited and waited. SR had brought a flask and was sipping liberally, and swapping it back and forth with NN. AR decides he is the only one who can drive. I got shotgun which would prove to be very fortunate.

At some point during the flight the four of us had agreed that since we were in Europe, and there to have fun, it hardly made any sense to just make the short drive from Brussels to Amsterdam without seeing a bit of the rest of Europe first. So, we decided to see five countries in one day. Belgium-France-Luxembourg-Germany-The Netherlands, and of course to drink in each country.

So we drank. Belgium was easy, because we had already been drinking so we figured we were good on that front. Got to France and found a place to drink and AR kept himself to one glass of wine while the rest of us each had about a bottle, and took two each for the road. Looking back at it now, perhaps bottles were not the best choice. At some point immediately after crossing the border into Luxembourg, NN and SR who were sitting in the back got into some type of disagreement about space, and who was actually responsible for the four cigarette burns in the rear upholstery of the car. Apparently SR said something to offend NN, which caused NN to take an empty wine bottle and strike SR firmly with it across the forehead. Ahh, nothing like blood streaming from a forehead wound to bring the trip to a rest area. In this case a bar parking lot, because we still had to drink. The bartender had some gauze or tape and there was plenty of liquor with which to clean the wound. So, tape applied and filled with liquor we continued. To Germany and beer. Lots of beer. But first a pit stop on the side of the road. Oh, I forgot to say that part of the deal was to avail ourselves of the outdoors for at least one bathroom break per country. Due to the amount of liquids we were consuming, this in fact took on several stops per country. During a break in Germany doing out business, a motorcyclist came down the highway at about 150 mph. We all remarked at how fast he was going. A short time later as we were going at a much reduced rate down the highway, several police cars and an ambulance made their way past us. Where were they going? Well from the wreckage on the side of the road it appears that perhaps the motorcyclist should have slowed down. Honestly don't know what happened to him, but it didn't look good. On that note we headed to a cafe and got some beers for there and for the road and made our way to Amsterdam.

It was fairly late when we got into Amsterdam, but not quite dark because it was May. Good thing too, because Amsterdam isn't the easiest place to navigate. Imagine an inebriated person with barely any sleep in 48 hours looking at a map and telling the driver to turn left at arnghivstaal street and you can see the dilemma. To this day I don't know he we managed to find our hotel.

Check in, go to our rooms and 30 minutes later we are on our way out. First stop, and it turns out the only stop of the night was a club which featured topless female bartenders and an array of other women whose only goal was to have the customers buy really expensive drinks. It's funny, but AR couldn't go anywhere in LA or for that matter anywhere in the US without being recognized, but, except for the flight over had not been recognized once. He was loving the experience. So when we walked in to the bar and noticed an episode of his show from the first season playing on the television we almost bolted. Funny thing was though even though the entire episode was about him, and he was sitting there in the bar, not a soul recognized him. There was jukebox in the place and we had wanted to create a surreal experience by playing a SR song while AR was on the screen, but SR's song wasn't in the jukebox. Neither myself, SR or AR were really interested in the women. Not so much NN who struck up a conversation with one of the women, left about an hour later with her and didn't show up again until we were about to leave Amsterdam. He's still married to the woman. Yes, awww, and all that. What AR and Sr decided would be fun would be to pay for the drinks of two kids from the UK who were pretending to be about 25 and were more than likely about 17. They were mesmerized by the women, but had run out of funds until SR and AR came along. Wanting the kids to feel like hotshots, SR and AR kept giving the kids money in which to buy drinks and soon had six or seven women all over them. They loved it and SR and AR got a kick out of it. For the most part though this was a party that just wasn't going to get started because the three of us had nothing left to give. At about 4am we walked back to the hotel and called it a night, but not before finding an unlocked bar and no workers. Ahhh free booze. It was like we owned the bar. Trusting lot there at the hotel.

Woke up around 2pm and decided that what was in order was a swim in the North Sea. Sounded really good at the time. Two cases of beer and a few hours later we found ourselves jumping in naked into the North Sea. Funny thing about that sea. It was May and the outside temperature was warm. The water? Not so much. It was about a week before I saw my balls because they had disappeared inside my body not to be seen for sometime.

Another case of beer on the way home and it was time to go out. First stop was a coffeehouse, but honestly we didn't buy any pot. It just didn't seem fun right that second. Next stop, was a biker bar. Didn't know it was a biker bar. Didn't know that the bartender was an American and that he would spend the next hour telling us in great detail why the US was so f**ked up, but he did. We were the only people in the bar and figured his people skills might have had something to do with it. We did stay an hour because we honestly couldn't believe what we were hearing.

We decided to forgo the live sex shows, and instead went to another club which was also completely empty. This was a Saturday night at around 11 or 12 and we literally were the only people in there. Didn't matter though. The bartender who was female and Portuguese was married to the owner who was Dutch. In some half assed Spanish and French we taught them how to make a margarita and a kamikaze and were having a great time and getting very drunk. People started streaming in around 1am or so, and pretty soon I felt a hand on my back and then on my neck, and was thinking to myself, "ok!" Turned around and it was a guy. The whole place was filled with guys. Yep. It was a gay bar. Well this particular gay bar was about to have a Karaoke contest and we decided after seeing SR's song on the play list to enter him right into the contest. First prize was like 1,000 Guilders (yes, before the Euro), and we figured SR would be a shoo in. The guy can sing. No backing tracks or anything like that for him. Ummm. He came in 3rd. To be fair, the guy who won was pretty good, but the guy who came in second did so only because he decided to drop trou and seems that was a real crowd pleaser. No one recognized SR although everyone did sing along which he enjoyed.

Next stop was some college type bar where everyone was singing soccer songs and Abba songs. Honestly, I don't think they played anything else. It was packed and hot, and sweaty and AR got recognized by some American tourists who started screaming. This was not part of the plan, and was not what AR wanted since he and SR were in deep discussions with a dealer who said that he could score some coke. Unfortunately AR just couldn't say, "glad you love the show. You know, could you come back in a little while. My buddy and I are trying to get some coke, and you are kind of ruining it for us."

So, outside we went. As we were walking and discussing a deal, we all found ourselves in the red light district. Funny how that happens huh? Well, the friendly drug dealer told us to enjoy ourselves while he went off to get it and would be back before we finished. Well, all I can say is I he would still be waiting today for me because it just wasn't going to happen for Mr. Shy. Nope, 3 days of drinking and a dunking in the North Sea and the thought of wife #3 in the back of my mind kind of ruined it for me. SR and AR apparently had no such issues. Well, they are used to performing, and I'm not. My excuse anyway. Well the dealer showed up, and he did so with a few of his friends. Apparently he decided that since we had so much cash, perhaps we would be willing to give some to he and his friends. Ummm. Run? Well this wasn't the movies, and running wasn't in the cards so we passed along what money we had. Got to avoid a good ass kicking though. See, there's always a positive.

Stumbled back to the hotel, slept for a few hours, and then it was the drive. You know the one I mean. The one where the fun is done and at least for me all you have to look forward to is that damn desk and at the time, a job which was no fun at all. AR didn't have anything to complain about. He was going on vacation and then to film a movie. NN? Well he got himself a wife, and was sticking around for a few days to meet her family. So it was pretty good for him. SR? Well he flew to London for a show and some stitches and AR decided to go with him. Me? I flew back all by myself and probably moved four inches on each of the flights. Really the first and only time I have ever been able to sleep on a plane. Stopped in Chicago on the way home and called my mom from a pay phone to wish her a Happy Mother's Day. Decided to keep the whole hooker, coke, gay bar, four day bender out of the conversation though. Went home and kissed the wife. Decided not to mention the whole coke or hooker thing. Told her about the gay bar and she could smell the 4 day bender. Went to sleep, and the next morning was right back at that awful desk.

Random Photos Part One

Mickey Carroll was the town crier in the Wizard Of Oz and was one of the last surviving Munchkins. - RIP
I know lots of you love Adrien Brody, but unless he has those things in his hair for a role or some medical necessity they look ridiculous.
Arsenio Hall and Eddie Murphy reuniting for a charity.
Yes, I love Ali Larter, but it really does look like she is wearing a rose bush.
Baz Luhrman looks happy. Hopefully it is because Nicole Kidman won't be in his next movie.
I'm no expert, but Carmen Electra doesn't look pregnant.
Chelsea Girls - Los Angeles
In case you were wondering, Cheyenne Jackson is calling himself a pimp.
Eric Dane does his recreation of the famous Daniel Craig scene, but with a shirt, longer bathing suite and a life jacket.
I watched Seems Like Old Times the other day. Goldie was really, really good back in the day.
Hugh Jackman at a pool in Brazil.
Keri Russell helping Jessica Alba with the big words.
Kendra Wilkinson never stops hustling for bucks. This isn't an ad for Fig Newtons, but she isn't going to miss the opportunity to try and get Nabisco to give her a call.
New Kids On The Block has taken lip synching to a whole new level. I would have also accepted New Kids on The Block is the official band of Anonymous.
Norman Reedus and "guest." I'm guessing it must be tough for him to walk around like that.
"What do you say after this is over, I'll show you my royal throne?"
Rihanna in her never ending quest to bring back the 80's one lady bug outfit at a time.
Even Vanessa Carlton is getting into the 80's thing.
And two people who peaked in the 80's, Kenny Loggins and Sugar Ray Leonard.
I just know deep in my heart that Danny Devito has a matching shirt to the one Rhea Perlman is wearing.
Rachel Weisz looks really good here.
Shannen Doherty in her Chanel biker look.
Who knew Tom Hanks was a tight jeans guy?
Mr and Mrs Spelling coming out from Mr. Chow. It is kind of fitting since Tori looks like a chopstick. I also think the orange woman in the background is Rudolph Valentino's sister. Their tans match.

Your Turn

It is Mother's Day weekend and so this would be the perfect opportunity to talk about your mom. Being married as many times as I have has introduced me to lots and lots of mothers, and each has given me lots of stories to share. That is what I want from all of you today. It can be something great your mom did, or it can be how your mom has embarrassed you in the past or the present. Whatever story you want to tell about your mom, or if you just want to say hi to her, you can certainly do that as well. For all of you that are mothers, I think the world of you for what you do everyday. I wish that all of you got paid $1M a month because what you do 24/7 is infinitely more valuable to society than any movie or red carpet or product endorsement. Thanks.

Mel Gibson's Girlfriend Is Pregnant

I really thought Mel Gibson took this whole Catholic thing seriously. You know. No divorce, no pre-marital sex and certainly no out of wedlock children. Well according to the National Enquirer, Mel Gibson's girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva is three months pregnant. They also said that when Mel told his kids the news, they all wanted to make sure they were not going to lose any of their trust fund money. Nice. I like that. They don't care if Oksana is pregnant they just don't want any new kids sharing their money. Do you get the sense from that attitude that perhaps they are all on the side of their mother?

Mel reportedly told his kids that the pregnancy was unplanned. He did not claim it was an immaculate conception. The story came from someone close to the family. Uh huh. The picture above was taken at the Wolverine premiere about ten days ago. You be the judge whether she is pregnant or not and also if she wears more makeup per square inch than Christina Aguilera.

Reason #426 To Not Have Bathroom Sex

Who among us hasn't found someone attractive at work? I mean you probably spend more waking time with the people at work than with your significant other, so it stands to reason that you probably would not be opposed to having sex with a certain someone if the time were right.

Now, imagine if you worked at a clothing store somewhere. The store has closed and you are all alone with that special work someone. You have the entire store to yourself for your sexual tryst, but you say to yourselves, you know what. Lets have sex in the bathroom. Sure, strangers have been using it all day and there is all this room in the rest of the store or under the clothes, but what I really want to do is to lock ourselves in a stall and have at it.

Well, Salvatore Mazzi, 37, and Angelina Marcelo, 26, did just that. Both of the people involved in our little story are married, but of course not to each other. Salvatore is a security guard and Angelina is a cashier. Ahhh. True lust. At some point during the bathroom loving, Angelina got a cramp in some portion of her body. The article doesn't say what part, but she cramped to the extent that the pair became locked into position in the bathroom and could not escape or get untangled.

Apparently before beginning their liaison, they forgot to lock the front door to the store, and the person that discovered the couple was Angelina's husband. Nice. Well, despite his best efforts, he too was unable to get the couple unlocked and was forced to call the fire department who at long last managed to free the lovers. Salvatore lost his job because he was on the clock. He also lost his wife because he was married. Angelina kept her job because she was off the clock. The article doesn't say if she kept her husband.

Spock Reads The Top Ten On Letterman

Leonard Nimoy is great anyway you can get him. When you can have him read the Top Ten lines never said in a Star Trek film it is pretty much priceless. Hell, it is Friday. I think you can find 4 minutes of your day to watch this.

Natalie Portman & Sean Penn Rumors Will Not Die

A few weeks ago I posted about how Sean Penn and Natalie Portman may have hooked up at the Sunset Tower hotel and Star Magazine is reporting that the two of them are still together. In their latest issue, Star says Natalie is the reason Sean filed for divorce from Robin Wright Penn. I'm not sure what Natalie would see in Sean except a guy who is an a-hole of the highest caliber and will cheat on her as sure as the sun rises everyday. Of course he will see the sun rising with some Russian hookers lying next to him in bed.

I choose not to believe this story. It isn't that I am one of the seemingly endless number of guys who have some hidden Star Wars fantasy they want to play out with Natalie, but just because no guy she has ever been claimed to be dating is anything like Sean Penn. I also would hope that she has a little more self respect than to be seen with a douche like Sean Penn. She isn't a publicity hound and doesn't seem like the kind of person who would want to be treated like crap on a regular basis which is what she would get if she was in a relationship with him.

Ali Lohan's Education Is Adequite

Over the past week, both the NY Daily News and People Magazine have obviously jumped on the CDAN bandwagon and asked the question, when in the f**k does Ali Lohan go to school? Last week Dina told the NY Daily News that Ali is home schooled and wouldn't say anymore. This week she added a little bit to that. She says, "Ali is in a home-schooling program. She has never been pulled out of school. It's the same home-schooling program that Lindsay was in since the tenth grade. It's a wonderful program that many celebrities are enrolled in."

OK, first of all. Dina has previously stated she had to pull Ali out of school so there is a lie. Not that I expect anything less from Dina. Second of all, Lindsay is probably one of the dumbest people I have ever seen so I am not sure that I would be using her as the poster child for this kind of education. And finally, I HATE more than anything in the world when someone says a line like her last one about the fact it is a program in which celebrities are enrolled. What? So because it is filled with celebrities it is a great education? Do they have some kind of access to education of which the rest of us cannot access? Did she say this to make us jealous? Is it only for celebrities or can anyone who thinks really highly of themselves and is a pain in the ass enroll their kids there as well?

I'm seriously pissed. She is rubbing that crap in our faces and saying they are celebrities and we are not and so they need to go to things which are for celebrities and they can't be around any people who are not in their world.

Dina says she devotes her life to her four children. Uh huh. The ones who make her money. The rest of them can shove it. Where is Cody? Is he in the special program for celebrities? Hell no. She probably has him living in Long Island with his grandmother going to regular school and if I were him I would be pissed at reading these quotes too.

As for why Ali needs to be home schooled, Ali is "working, working hard. She's recording, and she's working on a fashion line. Ali has also been supporting her sister."

Is it possible to run yourself over in your own car, because I really feel like doing that at lunch. Oh, and lest you forget the other one. The older sister, "is working extremely hard. Her spray tan line sold more than 100,000 units at Sephora in one day."

I find that number extremely hard to believe. There are only 750 stores in the entire world which means each store would have had to sell well over 100 all on the same day. I understand they have online sales, but when is the last time you went into a store and they stocked more than 10 of something? And do you really see 100,000 people rushing to order it online? If it is true than there are 100,000 ignorant people who need to ask the question if this product is so good why does Lindsay always look so damn awful and splotchy?

Lance Armstrong Wants To Play The Field

Lance Armstrong has a new book coming out. In the book he talks about why he and Sheryl Crow broke up and he tries to make himself look noble and virtuous, but it basically comes off as him sounding like a prick. He says that the couple broke up because Sheryl wanted kids and marriage and he didn't. That's fine, but he offered this really lame excuse.

"She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn't want that, but I didn't want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I'd just had kids [Luke, 9, and twins Grace and Bella, 7]. Yet we're up against her biological clock -- that pressure is what cracked it."

Umm. They broke up in 2006. That was 3 years ago. So, Luke would have been 6 and the twins 4. How is that just having kids? Plus, the couple went out for a long time. Don't you think that he should have made this clearer to Sheryl sooner? I will tell you what it was. He didn't want a commitment with Sheryl. He just wanted fun. He liked being with a singer but he didn't like her enough to marry her and have kids with her. He should just say that. To make up some crap story about how it was too soon is b.s.

Now of course Lance is expecting a child with his latest girlfriend. I guess he is ready now. I know Lance has done a lot to raise money for the fight against cancer and we are all supposed to love him because of all the odds he has overcome and winning the Tour de France. Honestly though. I think he is a really selfish ass and I think he toyed with Sheryl Crow and ultimately broke her heart. I don't have a lot of respect for the guy. That might make me unpopular, but I think he tries way too hard to have this clean cut image and I think he is basically a man whore who rides bikes.

Sarah Jessica Parker & Matthew Broderick Surrogate Mom

I guess when I envisioned the type of woman that Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick would pick for their surrogate mother, I didn't expect it to be this woman. Yes, she is a professional surrogate so you know she is not going to want to keep the baby for herself, but I guess I didn't expect a woman who is the mother of a child she never sees who also lost a child to Guillain-Barre Syndrome.

According to Star Magazine, Michelle Ross is a professional surrogate who has children for lots of people but never sees her own son. In 2006 she and her husband divorced and she didn't want anything to do with her four year old son. Although she never sees her son, she is apparently on good terms with her ex who says she is a surrogate for the right reasons. It doesn't pay much, so I guess you have to like doing it. She is only getting paid about $30,000 to carry the babies. The firm that set it all up is getting paid $100,000. Why is the company that set it up getting paid three times the amount of money as the woman who is walking around carrying the twins? That doesn't exactly seem fair.

And for those of you who were wondering, Sarah Jessica Parker's eggs were used as well as some of Matthew Broderick's sperm so it will probably turn out to be twin girls who look exactly like Matthew. Well, the son looks like Sarah, so I figure this time it will be more of a Matthew thing. They will also sing show tunes and have an unnatural affection towards the songs of Wayne Newton.

Ted C Blind Item

Enough with the retardalicious closeted gay movies stars. They're so two movie-weekend openings ago! Now, it's back to the straights being as predictably sleazy as only het (men, mainly) can be! 'Cause, let's just be honest here, the real creepsters are you opposite-sex folk out there.

And not the single ones, either: The ultimately dangerous dudes to watch are the one's who have wedding rings on their left hands. You'd think that piece of jewelry would remind Sock-It-to-You Sleazewad to not go and grope female private parts that don't belong to his wife.

Yep, the incredibly sexy Sock-It isn't just an incredible actor on screen, but off, as well. He makes you believe that all things are perf in that marriage of his—particularly when chatting to an equally talented and beautiful honey (how sorta Sean Penn of him).

But as usual in Hollywood, life is not as it's portrayed:

Sock-It isn't only sticking it to his wife (painfully so), but other babes in town, as well. And he likes 'em young, too. Legal of course, but youthful, vibrant and frisky. Maybe that's because that way, these conquests of Sock-It's are too naïve to know that a married alcoholic with a coke fetish and a penchant for slapping up his women isn't exactly a winner.

As for Sleaze's wife? Oh she knows what's going on. But this babe has such history with her man she's not going anywhere. Besides, she's caught in that hideous trap. The one Rihanna had hopes of climbing out of. Maybe she still does?

All women run when you see Sock-It lurching your way...to the police if you have to!

And it Ain't: Sean Penn, David Duchovny, Ben Affleck

Today's Blind Items

Before the blind item, I just wanted to let you know there will be some FFF tomorrow.

This is one of the more bizarre things I have ever heard. This male reality star is on an A list reality show. A recurring reality show with the same cast, not some random dude on Survivor. Anyway, this star carries a bag with him wherever he goes. That is not unusual. What is unusual is that he always keeps $50,000 in the bag with him at all times. Never more and never less. He doesn't keep it a big secret. He just always says it is if he ever needs to get away quickly he has the means. The question is why would he need to get away quickly. People have asked him. He always says, "you never know." What the hell does that mean?

Random Photos Part One

A little change of pace for the top today. Ben Harper is a good looking guy, and I have to say that if I am Laura Dern, I'm thanking Billy Bob Thornton everyday for leaving me. If I tried to pull off this look, I would look like a marshmallow wrapped in a plaid jacket. Not pretty.
"So, I want to give this guy a ticket because he parked on the same street as me. Can you write him one for that?"
Yeah, yeah, it's Cameron Diaz and a basketball. Look at the woman behind her. She looks like she is freaking out trying to find something in her purse. She's at a game. What could cause that?
Yeah, yeah, Gisele Bundchen is gorgeous.
Hilary Duff really jammed herself into that dress. Mike Comrie seems pretty arrogant. Maybe it is just the angle.
Has anyone noticed that Hugh Jackman has been in every country on earth promoting his movie? Umm, actors take note. When you promote, your movies do better and you make more money later.
John Norris and what I truly hope is a wig so he can return it and get his money back.
And Kylie Minogue becomes the first woman ever to have sex with a fuse box.
What would have made this 100 times better? If it were Verne Troyer dressed like that.
Kiefer Sutherland on his way into a police station.
I read Leona Lewis left the US because some stalker was looking in her window and she was scared. Well, she wasn't gone long so I'm guessing the report wasn't true.
Normally I wouldn't do this or even put you through this because it isn't pretty. I can't wait to see the "after." Also, the glove is a nice touch in case she has any track marks.
Ludacris looks really good today. That is a nice suit. I love it.
Mischa Barton wearing normal clothes. That should almost make the top.
Judging by the look on Maria Shriver's face, I think this guy was pitching Arnold to do a porn cameo.
Mary Stuart Masterson is pregnant. Congratulations.
Neil Patrick Harris is not pregnant, but he is passing out free candy. Plus, in the news of the day, Kal Penn is still going to act and they are going to make a Harold & Kumar Christmas movie. I wonder if it will be called The 12 Bongs Of Christmas.
The great thing about this gig for Robert is that he really doesn't need to go shopping for Halloween.
Ron Howard and Brian Grazer together. Let us hope they spent the entire flight to Japan talking about Arrested Development.
"Haha, haha, Ich trinke mehr Alkohol als irgendjemand in der Welt."
And in the Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog this year, apparently you can get your very own live lawn jockey.