Tiger Woods Is Mr. Kinky
When you put the journalistic efforts of the world all one story you get some great stuff. Whether you would like to see naked pictures of Jaimee Grubbs or see her sex tape or read e-mails from Tiger to Rachel Uchitel it is all available. It turns out that within all this information is a picture emerging of Tiger who is Mr. Kinky. Not only does he enjoy taking Ambien right before sex, he also has secret fantasies about watching Derek Jeter and David Boreanaz have sex with Rachel while he watches. Really? Do you think he thinks about that stuff while he is golfing? Million dollar putt and he is thinking about who his mistress used to f**k.
US Weekly saw one of the e-mails Tiger sent to Rachel and it says, "I had a dream we were married and I was leading the tournament. I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting f--ked by Derek and David [Boreanaz]. Some part of me thinks you would like that. Now I can't get back to sleep. My body is tired, but my mind is awake. Need an Ambien."
Meanwhile his wife was home taking care of their kids. F**ker.
Uh-oh....I think this might be the proverbial straw.
ReplyDeleteI soo didn't need to know that about Tiger, what a naughty boy!
ReplyDeleteawww, why did you have to drag DB into this? I have a hard enough time trying to forget he is a douch bag...
ReplyDeleteI'd like to know exactly how US Weekly was able to see any email?
ReplyDeleteAgree with you BigMama. I heart DB.
ReplyDeleteWonder how much the wife is getting paid to stay??
ReplyDeleteIsn't Rachel the one that isn't talking...or is only talking to her lawyer? I second Judi's question.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that she saved the emails shows that she was planning on using them for an ulterior motive, like maybe making a few million off that putz.
ReplyDeleteElin needs to get the hell away from him, ASAP!
Elin, take the money and run.
ReplyDeleteI still love the stories about Tiger needing to be punished.
ReplyDeletemaybe the wife was just not satisfying Tiger. Is part of this her fault ??
ReplyDeleteNo, it is not the wife's fault for her husband cheating. If he isn't getting what we "wants" at home, do the right thing and divorce her before you start screwing ever skank in town.
ReplyDeleteGo grab a bottle of Jergens and head to the privacy of your bathroom Tiger.
not surprised about tiger's sexual proclivities.
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering if Tiger has a "madonna/whore" complex when it comes to sexuality. It might not be that his wife wasn't willing to satisfy whatever fantasies that he had, but that he is one of those men who cannot become easily aroused by a woman once she is a mother. If you look at the timing of his affairs, it makes sense. His 31-month affair began when Elin was seven months pregnant. Didn't his affair with the hostess he flew to Australia begin sometime around the time of his second child's birth? His other women certainly fit the "whore" part of the equation. I'm not going to bore everyone with the pathology of men who have this complex, but if you do some research on your own, I think you'd agree that he fits the profile. Poor Elin, he's most likely been rejecting her constantly while chasing after all these skanks. I hope she's able to get a lot more than the measly $5 million of the prenup.
ReplyDeleteAh, yes. But Boreanz was reputedly texting Uchitel status updates from the delivery room where his wife was giving birth to their child. Now that, my friends, is the ultimate f**ker.
ReplyDeleteIsn't the $5 mill essentially just a signing bonus and the new prenup something like 80 mill instead of the original 20?
ReplyDeleteI think that RJ is on to something. I hadn't noticed the timing of the extramarital affairs (so close to pregnancies), but I did notice the difference in the way the women look. Elin looks classy and somewhat innocent. The others look like they've been around the block a couple of times.
ReplyDeleteBut if he has some Madonna/whore thing going on, maybe he ought to get therapy instead of just acting on it and ruining his children's lives, his wife's life and even his own. Not only is cheating cruel--which it is--but in his case, it was financially a stupid, stupid move.
Aw man, I feel so sorry for his wife. And then I remember she gets a lot of dough if she leaves so I hope she does and gets her dignity back and a serious amount of cash.
ReplyDeleteThank you Anonymous 1:26 for addressing Anonymous 1:23 - that was an offensive thing to say.
ReplyDeleteThis girl is a starfucker, plain and simple. She obviously has no compunction about sleeping with married men who have pregnant wives, and she sickens me.
I just keep hoping the news reports that Elin has left Tiger, and the country, and returned to Sweden with her children. I also wish the press would take the limelight off of these mistresses. It's like they are being congratulated for bedding Tiger and duping his wife. In five years they'll just be remembered as gross if they are remembered at all.
ReplyDelete"I had a dream we were married and I was leading the tournament. I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting f--ked by Derek and David [Boreanaz]. Some part of me thinks you would like that."
ReplyDeleteMy interpretation: "I fantasized that we were a legitimate couple. I came home with wood other than my clubs, and there you were getting all slutty with 2 men. Because this scenario is believable, as I know you are hoorish like that. I liked it, because I know you'd agree to allow me to explore my latent bisexual urges and would never require me to be monogamous, like SOME PEOPLE would."
omg, whole-lotto...i loved that!!! omg, funny but quite possibly TRUE.
ReplyDeleteA lot of 'stuff' comes up during pregnancy and afterward, and it's not just the virgin/whore thing. For some men, it is really disconcerting to see their wives' attention shift from them to the impending child. Their wives may also suddenly become the center of attention (or at least, more so than before) because of their pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteThey may also have a problem with the body that they feel they 'own' being taken over by someone else.
Women are also at greater risk of being abused or killed by their partners during pregnancy. Psychologically, I think there's a lot going on with men during that time that is not really understood.
During most parts of pregnancy, many women feel hotter and more sexual than usual, so the old the pregnant woman does want to f* excuse is not necessarily valid.
Regardless, at this point I really wish he'd just go f* himself. I never liked him--this just cements it.
It's easy for me to say this since I am not involved, but Elin should head for the hills NOW. Clearly their entire marriage has been a sham since he was banging every piece of a** around for years.
ReplyDelete... @ GladysKravitz = Madonna IS a WH0RE.
ReplyDelete... not that I care about Tiger Woods... Golf... or sports "Em" general... but I bet there's a TW *p0rn tape* out there somewhere. Sooo... "beating" (pun intended) them all the punch - here's some catchy names I "came" (pun also intended) up with for *it*... ahem...
... 'Crouching Tiger's Wood'
... 'Tiger Brings His "9 Iron" To Bed'
... 'An Ace In Her Hole'
... 'Tiger Hits A WH0RE In One!'
... 'Caddy A$$' (pun on
'Caddy Shack') Okay... that one's weak, but if Tiger likes to watch pro Basketball players f'-ing his chix too... we can name it 'Caddy Shaq'...
... so... anyone else got some?
lol @ classalpha. i heard that tiger is hung though.
ReplyDelete... why Thank You QS... and not that I'd "know" re: the "size" of TW's golf *club*...
ReplyDeleteI think Tiger is pond scum, his innocent wife is home raising their children & he's out with ho's. I know how badly it hurts to be cheated on & I hope Elin makes him eat a lot more than just a five iron to the head!
ReplyDeleteI've no doubt that Elin is huddled with her lawyers as we speak.
ReplyDeleteDEFINITE Madonna/Whore complex.
I hope he contracts several STIs from all this fucking around. The kind that make peeing burn like hell.
Isn't always the homely celebs that go out there and get laid double time cuz they KNOW they wouldn't have a snowball's chance in Hell of getting any in a parallel unsuccessful universe?
ReplyDeleteTiger's right up there with Jmes Woods for me. ICK!
Just heard--Rachel Uchitel lost her fiancee in 9/11. He worked in one of the towers. And there's a famous picture of her walking around with a picture of him, trying to find him, crying.
ReplyDeleteAlmost makes me feel sorry for her. Must have turned her into the pathetic whore she is now.
Tiger is human stop putting him on a pedastal. No one knows the relationship he and his wife have. Most celebs cheat on their spouses why is everyone acting schocked? I want to know what vitamins he takes having 2 and 3 mistresses and a wife and he still kicks ass on the golf course. All kidding aside the media should respect his wife and stop focusing on the whores and Tiger needs to ask God for forgiveness not the general public.
ReplyDeleteAbout a year or so ago there was a BI somewhere about a golfer's wife who deliberately had kid number two as financial insurance, even though hubby had made it clear that he did _not_ want another child. He was reportedly very bitter over her second pregnancy. At the time everyone figured it was was Tiger. If it was, then both of them were pulling shit on each other - she, because she _knew_ she'd married a horn dog and decided she had to look out for herself, and he, because he thought he could do whatever he pleased, _and_ dictate to her what she could and could not do.
ReplyDeleteI'm with lotto_luv. While most men are dreaming girl-girl-man (mostly themselves) Tiger is dreaming man-man-girl and he's not part of threesome? Yep, Tiger got ISSUES.
ReplyDeleteWell if he did lose sponsorship, I'm sure Viagra would sponsor him or Enzyte. They could change their tag line to "You too could have wood like Tiger." or " Wouldn't you like to score women (whores) like this Tiger?"
I think there should be some toilet paper named after him now, since he is an asswipe.
ReplyDeleteYep a total a-hole! I hope Elin takes him to the cleaners and has a truly good life with herself and her children and Tiger's mom. Tiger's mom has got to be pissed off! And lastly, I am secretly thrilled she took to beating his lying sorry ass self.
ReplyDeleteY'know, Ambien can make you have some weird dreams. Just throwin' that out there. Wonder how many he takes a week.....
ReplyDeleteMy gaydar has always seriously gone off on Tiger. Can't put my finger on it, so to speak, but I always thought he was a bit gay.
ReplyDelete******"I had a dream we were married and I was leading the tournament. I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting f--ked by Derek and David [Boreanaz]. Some part of me thinks you would like that."******
ReplyDeleteFor what its worth, he doesn't say HE would like it, he says he thinks SHE would like it.
Do we know anything about Elin? Why assume that she is a completely innocent Donna Reed type wife, and he's complete scum for taking her innocence and destroying all her dreams in the process?
ReplyDeleteI agree with Anon who said stop putting him on a pedestal. Crucifixion is a bit harsh of a punishment for banging a few skanks. I think he's being judged much more harshly than others who have cheated.
^^ I disagree. I don't think he is judged more harshly for cheating than others. He is more famous and therefore more people have an opinion on the matter. Also, he cheated with multiple semi-known women for an extended period of time. He has led a scandalous secret life and this plays beautifully in the media.
ReplyDeleteI think when celebrity men cheat on their wives it gets a lot of attention because it unleashes the very real fear that the men and women in our own lives could be doing the same thing ("well if it happened to the Golden Couple then it could happen to us!") - and that sucks.
Blogger RocketQueen said...
ReplyDeleteThank you Anonymous 1:26 for addressing Anonymous 1:23 - that was an offensive thing to say.
I think they were the same person, but hey, I'm jaded.
Y'know, Ambien can make you have some weird dreams. Just throwin' that out there.
You ain't kidding. I had weird dreams, sleep-walked, and ate in my sleep and left food sitting out in the kitchen. I won't touch that stuff again.
Another thing I just figured out: if Jamiee Grubbs has been seeing Tiger Woods for three years, she was cheating when she went on Tool Academy Season 1 with Shawn "Loudmouth" Tool in about 2008. So she was fu**ing Shawn and Tiger at the same time. Nice. Hope Elin is making a doctor's appointment between her attorney appointments.
ReplyDeleteNext, the baby mama's and love children will start coming out of the woodwork. I agree I hope Elin got her shots. He was with some pretty skanky women.
ReplyDeleteWot a sleaze bucket. I wouldn't have expected this from Tiger.
ReplyDeletehttp://nicole-kidman-journey.blogspot.com/
Derek Jeter. Ew.
ReplyDeleteI found anonymous 1:23's comments about it being partly her fault very, very offensive. I was cheated on when I was pregnant and it was very hard to deal with. Not only were there all those pregnancy hormones, but you have to deal with the fact that the person who you trusted most in the world has completely fucked you over. And they did it while their child grew in your body. I was a mess for a looong time.
ReplyDeleteI will say that any problems in our marriage were partly my fault, but the choice to cheat was definitely NOT.
Me, I'm just shocked that Tiger Woods has introduced the extremely specific image of David Boreanz and Derek Jeter in bed with his totally-enjoying-the-limelight mistress (whose name I never caught). I mean, it's quite an image. At least he didn't fantasize about her and that creepy Screech guy, with a naked and greasy Brandon Davis providing extra grotesque horror.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteToo bad all cheaters can't be caught so publicly.
ReplyDeleteAnd what's this about having Ambien before sex? It's sexy to fall asleep while doing it?
i actually thought "caddy shaq" was kinda funny.
ReplyDeletegood one, class alpha.