Jon Gosselin Gets A Visit From A Knife Wielding Elf
Apparently when Jon Gosselin was off hitting on and having sex with every barely above a teenager he could find, he must have inadvertently hit on the daughter of one of Santa's elves. That is the way I like to think of it. It seems that when Jon returned back to New York yesterday he discovered that his television and other stuff of value was stolen. The things of little value like his self respect and his clothes had been slashed with a knife and ruined.
He did discover a note stuck to a dresser which probably said something like, "Thanks for being such an ass. Merry Christmas, Hailey." Of course it could have also been a a Christmas catalog from Ed Hardy.
Anyway, Jon called his lawyer who called the cops and then Jon began the crying game and I bet I can make a buck out of this game if TLC would only let me. If you would like to throw up a little in your mouth, please read the following statement from his lawyer.
"The greatest damage from this vicious, mean spirited and heartless crime was perpetrated not on Jon’s property and possessions, but on Jon Gosselin himself, who experienced a traumatic, emotional, roller coast ride having just shared a joyful family gathering with his children during their Christmas."
