Ted C. Blind Item

There's a humpy dude who's still gorgeous and who used to be on a hit TV show that was often centered around lots of sand, and lots of boobs.

Let's call him Sandy Boob, then, shall we?

Sure is pretty, that Sandy! He's also notoriously horny, and has been for many, many years, which, for the record, is about as much time it's been since Sandy's been a relevant player in the biz. Hmm. Could that be why Sandy's suddenly getting less and less discrete about the fact that he likes to do what Crotch Uh-Lastic does, i.e, seduce guys to watery locales?

Yeah, probably, but guess what. Now that Sandy's career is on hiatus (and has been for some time), Sandy's friends tell us Mr. Boob decided for that very reason to start...

...not only acting out more sexually (hey, a release is a release, right?), but to also intentionally do it in more cavalier fashion. Secretly hoping to get caught, just so he can deny it. After all, Sandy likes girls, has procreated, and always looks butch when he's caught checking himself out in the mirror. You know the look, right? They sort of grimace when they're checking their perfectly disheveled hair—like it's so paining them to do so.

Well, that just about sums up Sandy's acting talents, come to think of it. But that's beside the point—or not? After all, the only reason Mr. Boob's strutting it out there so much lately is because he's dying for some heat on his career again. If not his thighs.

It Ain't: Brian Austin Green, Jason Priestley, Peter Gallagher