Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Lindsay Lohan Tapes Day 4 - With Special Guest Star Heath Ledger


Previously on The Lindsay Lohan tapes.

Lindsay: (crying) Mommy doesn't like me daddy so I punched her in the face. I had to do it because you left us and I couldn't handle it.

Michael: (cash register sounds in his head) You punched your mom? Tell daddy all about it.

Now, for a very special episode.

Dina: Guess what Michael? Your daughter is completely f**ked up for two reasons. You and she dated Heath Ledger.

Michael: (cash register sounds in his head) She dated Heath Ledger?

Dina: Yeah she was well, I don't know if you would call it dating but I would drop her off there and they were close, very, very close.

Michael: (slot machine sounds) Do you have any pictures? Video?

Dina: When he died it really f**ked up Lindsay. Do you know that when she is not sleeping with some random guy and is at home that she sleeps with me? She does that because of what you did to our family.

Michael: What? You mean be an a-hole and have a love child in the week we were separated?

In tomorrow's episode we find the couple hatching a plan to make more money off their daughter and trying to sell the youngest daughter to some sheik.

25 comments:

  1. You know, I'm beginning to suspect that God has thrown Michael and Dina Lohan into this film in order to make its young ingenue appear more and more likeable. Lindsay is beautiful (sometimes, when she's hydrated and moisturized, and when she's slept and eaten within the past 72 hours) -- I wish she could kick the drugs and get back to work doing something other than be a nuisance. I mean, she's not going away -- it would be better if she could be doing something useful.

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  2. Fame whores. I don't believe her mother for an instant. Or the "father."

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  3. What is the legality of recording telephone conversations without informing the other party? I know in some states it is illegal.

    What bothers me is why would he have started doing it in the first place. Who the hell records conversations with family members?

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  4. Anonymous9:37 AM

    When someone makes White Oprah look like the lesser of two evils, you know what a terribly sad situation it is.

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  5. disgusting.

    how embarrassing. i would KILL my father.

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  6. WHAT BOTHERS ME MOST IS HER NEITHER OF HER PARENTS SEEM TO CARE ABOUT WHAT A DRUG ADDLED SLUT SHE IS...

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  7. In the words of Michael K "Let's not drag Heath Ledger into this"

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  8. Actually I am wrong he said "Don't drag Heath Ledger into this!" Sorry Michael.

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  9. OMG they're SUCH famewhores. Lower than tapeworms.

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  10. Is this real or scripted?! Seriously, it is too unbelievably believable to be real. Isn't it?!

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  11. If she dated with Heath Ledger when he died,she shared him with an Olsen twin!
    She was friend with DJ Am(dead by overdose)and Ledger(dead by overdose)
    and as she parties with Leo Dicaprio now,the next dead guy is him!

    and one question:was she friend with Michael Jackson?

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  12. LOL Famewhores < Tapeworms.

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  13. *echoing Barton Fink*

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  14. LOL @ sunnyside1213

    Maybe I should coin a new term: "tapewhores"? "fameworms"?
    "fapeworms"?

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  15. Next week, she will have dated Kurt Cobain.

    Anything out of the mouths of WO and/or Daddy Dearest should be taken with a grain of salt.

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  16. You were very generous when you posted that pic of Linds. We all know she isn't that clean anymore.

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  17. Michael K always says it best - yes, let's not drag Ledger into this mess. This was a juicy tape and it certainly seemed to me from the full transcript of this tape that there's just a RESIGNATION by Dina that her daughter's a mess. Truly awful parents.

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  18. warmislandsun, I was wondering myself how old that photo was.
    She doesn't look like an old saddle there.

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  19. Poor Heath, not even around to set the record straight, ie, deny deny deny.

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  20. i hate this bitch and her whole family. i'm sick of hearing about her. and i'm sick of hearing 'but she was SO CUTE in 'the parent trap.'

    she's a used-up, fucked-up has-been. i don't get the fascination with all things lindsay. who the fuck cares?

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  21. @nancer - I'm fascinated by this trainwreck story.
    Now anything regarding Paris and the Gosselins on the other hand...

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  22. Anonymous3:45 PM

    Notice how Michael's voice is in none of these tapes...what an asshole.

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  23. If she was with Heath, she would have blabbed about it within 3 days.

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