This past weekend, Scientologists gathered in the UK for what I thought was some big fund raising concert. Chick Corea was the main attraction. Apparently musical acts like Snoop and Lady GaGa don't seem to want to join Scientology so you get Chick Corea.
Apparently though when the Scientologists get together they have to have speeches. Speeches that make no sense to anyone except themselves and Tom Cruise gave the keynote nonsensical speech of the weekend.
According to US Weekly, Tom said, "Because we never took our eyes off the ultimate prize, we stand where we are today. We are in this together!"
Umm, what is the ultimate prize? A fake marriage? A movie career in the toilet? And how exactly are the other people standing in it together with you? Unless they suddenly win the lottery and can contribute a lot more money, I don't think anyone is actually standing together with you.
According to the witness who saw this and now faces a life of watching Far And Away and Battlefield Earth as a punishment, "Tom was swaying and looked like he was in heaven. He was really, really into it. Katie was next to him doing her best to look as enthusiastic. She was clapping along with the song, but was totally out of sync. Suri was standing by, looking a little bemused in a cute little party dress."
Suri was probably upset they didn't have Xenu coloring books to keep her entertained so the church probably special ordered her some along with some more custom toddler Louboutins.
John Travolta and Kelly Preston were at the even but neither spoke and simply just stood there holding hands.
Tom saved his best for last. At a reception following the speeches, Tom said, "They're squirrels. Stuck in an electronic incident. It makes me so angry!" You make sense of that one. Can you imagine listening to him all day and all night.
What the hell is he talking about?? He is a blithering idiot.
ReplyDeleteWhy bring the squirrels into this foolery?! They did nothing to deserve it!
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine it if I was plenty stoned on the good stuff. Then it would be really, really amusing.
ReplyDeleteSounds like they should have been in a big tent for this event....all the minions raising their hands to xenu.
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ReplyDeletei think tom's had an electronic incident in his brain.
ReplyDeleteGlad you agree that Far And Away was a horrible move. Never saw Battlefield Earth, but I'm assuming it sucks.
ReplyDeleteTom Cruise is batshit crazy. It's a shame he's so anti-psychology and anti-medication. That bitch needs some.
Sad. Fairly typical of any extremist religious gathering, I'd think, but still sad.
ReplyDeleteBut, hey, I bet Bronson Pinchot will feel pretty vindicated. (Oh, how I LOVED that interview.)
Am I the only one who wants to see the footage of this hot mess??
ReplyDeleteBetween the BP interview, the stuff about Christian Bale reportedly basing Patrick Bateman in "American Psycho" on Tom Cruise and his "very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes", and now this scieno tent revival thing, I don't know how this guy is running around free.
ReplyDeleteInsanity, pure and simple.
ReplyDelete"She was clapping along with the song, but was totally out of sync."
ReplyDeleteThat sentence pretty much sums up her whole life.
THE MAN IS AN IDIOT, HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN IDIOT...TOO STUPID TO KNOW HOW LUCKY HE'S BEEN.
ReplyDeleteOh, Moosefan, you must live somewhere that doesn't have a lot of squirrels. Trust me, they deserve that and more! Evil little rodents.
ReplyDeleteKarmen,
ReplyDeleteThat movie was so bad it is hard to describe it properly.
Mooshki, no! I love sqirrels, even if they are vermin in pretty fur coats. Now raccoons, on the other hand, are evil incarnate. . .
ReplyDeleteI was hoping Travolta would no longer be associated with this crap.
Squirrels, even.
ReplyDeleteYes, Cruise is nuts, like all zealots.
ReplyDeleteBut how exactly is this any different than someone insisting that Jesus guided them to a lottery win, or that God clearly wants the gays to burn in hell? Anyone? Anyone? Buehler?
I don't think Travolta has a choice in the matter.
ReplyDeleteNotSoAnonMom, poor John probably sees the light, but I don't think he will ever escape these loonies.
ReplyDeleteNotSoAnonMom, poor John probably sees the light, but I don't think he will ever escape these loonies.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Pimp. People in mainstream religions don't realize how strange their doctrine sounds--full of unbelieveable miracles the equivalent of Zenu. No disrespect meant, but it's true.
ReplyDeleteOther than that yes, Tom, I'm a squirrel. But you're a NUT.
patrick Bateman+alien= Tom Cruise LOL
ReplyDeleteA Pimp Named DaveR said...
ReplyDeleteYes, Cruise is nuts, like all zealots.
But how exactly is this any different than someone insisting that Jesus guided them to a lottery win, or that God clearly wants the gays to burn in hell? Anyone? Anyone? Buehler?
OMG DaveR, someone finally said it. Hell to the yeah. It is exactly the same thing. Preach it.
do you know what's weird? this thing has hardly been reported in the UK press AT ALL. They were totally trying to keep it low profile. I just googled this event and the only sites covering it were US ones. what's that about!?
ReplyDeleteYeah fine, some of the stories in the bible are just as crazy as L.Ron's. But that is where the comparison's with scientolgy and all other major world religions must end. I am sure you all know what I am talking about!
ReplyDeleteDlisted just posted something about what squirrels means:
ReplyDelete"In Scientology jargon, a 'squirrel' is a bad bad traitor. Specifically, a bad traitor who changes the techniques of Scientology."
What being "stuck in an electronic incident" means is beyond me.
ENTY and CDaN community - You are the best. Shedding light on stupidity, banality and celebrity BS. A real antidote to the daily news spin cycle.
ReplyDeleteCount me in with the others here saying that, crazy as Scientology is, if you were to really step back and examine them, the doctrines of all the big older religions are just as crazy and just as baseless.
ReplyDelete...not to mention, they stole their theology from ancient animist and so-called "pagan" religions.
On the other hand, they are generally not AS financially spurious.
the only 'stuck in an eletronic incident' tom Cruise is having is getting the WillSmithDildo2000 stuck up his no no.
ReplyDeletetoo much? lol..
Blogger TONIc said...
ReplyDeleteI agree with Pimp. People in mainstream religions don't realize how strange their doctrine sounds--full of unbelieveable miracles the equivalent of Zenu. No disrespect meant, but it's true.
It's most certainly true. And anyone familiar with the history of the church of the flying spaghetti monster would concur.
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ReplyDeleteI guess this is the second round of Gay Cruise Nutness. LOL
ReplyDeleteWell said everyone, starting with a Pimp, TONIc, Dr. Cocks. It's all craziness to me.
ReplyDelete"stuck in an electronic incident"
ReplyDeleteSomeone posted a bunch of scientology docs online awhile back...
All religion is insane to me (I'm an agnostic -- the world still confuses me, I don't know how everyone else has figured it all out) but at least most religions don't sue and stalk their critics as a matter of policy.
ReplyDeleteMelody - I hope you're not including the Catholic Church in your "most religions". How any religion can claim one being is in charge - whether it's God or Xenu or whether that being is litigious or not, is beyond me.
ReplyDeleteSigned, an atheist
Is it wrong to enjoy reading tales of Tom Cruises batshitiness? I've never cared for the guy, and never understood why he became so freaking famous. Oh, and the Balki interview yesterday was bliss.
ReplyDeleteYou know it's funny he is anti-squirrel because I always thought Tommygirl IS more then a bit squirrely himself.
ReplyDeleteRQ, I said "most religions", not all. But the vast majority of Catholics do not participate in an ongoing attempt to silence critics and ruin their ex-members' lives. The same cannot be said for spamontologists.
ReplyDeleteI admire your atheism -- I'm not smart enough to be an atheist. The universe still confuses me. I can't figure everything out yet.
Well I'm sure Katie thinks all this is worth it. Selling her soul to Tom and being forced to participate in this kind of craziness was all worth it because now she is such a big star, making millions and winning Oscars! Her plan totally worked!
ReplyDeleteOh, wait...
Oh right, because Zenu = Jesus. WTF?
ReplyDeleteComparing Scientology with other religions is a pretty big step in my opinion. At least Jesus, the man, existed, we're talking aliens and stuff with this group.
ReplyDelete@melody
ReplyDelete"RQ, I said "most religions", not all. But the vast majority of Catholics do not participate in an ongoing attempt to silence critics and ruin their ex-members' lives. The same cannot be said for spamontologists."
Can be said for Islam though.
I think some of you might be confused, here is some help.
ReplyDeleteFor as much as it can, I think me made some new codeword public.
http://www.xenu-directory.net/glossary/glossary_a.htm
Who do you think is confused, almost? Great list, btw
ReplyDeleteThanks to all for the most entertaining comment-read in a long time. And I agree that Bronson Pinchot must be wearing a big, shit-eating grin today.
ReplyDelete